Shun, Shag, or Marry?: Johnny Depp, Colin Farell, And Jude Law Star In “Doctor Parnassus”
Posted by: Elise Czajkowski
Filed in:
guys
9:45AM, Tuesday May 26th 2009
Terry Gilliam is an out there director—he’s the one behind “12 Monkeys” and “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.” His newest flick, “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus,” premiered at Cannes on Friday. Heath Ledger was originally the star, and filming was about halfway done when…well, you know. Gilliam decided to rework the role so that Heath shares it with Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, and Jude Law. Hello, hot back-ups!
“Imaginarium” involves a deal with a devil, which allows people to go through a magical mirror and explore their imaginations. Uh, strange? Obviously, we wish it could have been Heath the whole way through, but we figured we’d take a look at the three megastars who filled in at the last minute. And while it’s tempting to just throw all three of these guys in the “shag” column and walk away, here’s how we’d divide ‘em up…
SHUN: Jude Law
Jude isn’t so good at the whole monogamy thing. Not only did he cheat on fiance Sienna Miller with the nanny, he supposedly got caught in bed with her by one of his kids. If that were not enough grounds for shunning, add in the every-widening widow’s peak and the fact that he inflicted Sienna Miller on the world in the first place.[Daily Mirror]
SHAG: Colin Farrell
Colin definitely has a bit of a past. He’s rumored to have been involved with Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Rosario Dawson, and Britney Spears, plus he says he was, “drunk for 16 years,” before checking into rehab. But that’s what makes this Irish hottie the perfect guy to take home for just one night. Especially since we saw what a generous lover he is in that sex tape that went public in 2006. [Huffington Post and Gawker]
MARRY: Johnny Depp
We’ve loved Johnny Depp since “21 Jump Street,” and our feelings have only grown from “Edward Scissorhands” to “Pirates of the Caribbean.” The former party animal’s tattoo may have originally read “Winona Forever,” but we wish it was dedicated to us. In the past few years, Johnny has become a real family man. Sure, he’s never put a ring on the finger of his lady, singer/model Vanessa Paradis, but they do have two kids together and are living a quiet and peaceful life in southern France. Oh, to be the Joon to his Benny.
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inthemood
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 12:09 pm: [report]
Sorry, but you’re dead wrong. All of these guys appear to be fantastic fathers, which is a plus for all of them. All of them have done questionable things that have made it to the media (but then, to be fair, so have most people), so one is no better than the other. All 3 have probably done questionable things that they were lucky didn’t make it to the media.
Jude Law: I would totally shag and marry. But then, he’s just my preference, no explanation needed.
Colin: Not sure…those eyebrows freak me sometimes. Maybe shag. He has nice eyes, though.
Johnny: Why would I want to marry someone that didn’t want to get married? I would shag him, though.
piratesfan60
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 02:31 pm: [report]
I would shun both Colin and Jude. Colin cute, but always looks like he needs a shower. Jude also cute, but couldn’t trust him. Johnny shag and marry. I think Johnny is a little shy when it comes to marriage, he tried it once and it failed. He does however loves to have a finacee. He will get married someday when he’s ready. As far as being is Joon to his Benny. Benny was Joon’s brother and Johnny was Sam.
inthemood
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 02:46 pm: [report]
As far as trust, they are all on equal ground in my eyes. Jude had an affair on his (already questionable) girlfriend, and it just so happened to be made public by someone who should have kept her mouth shut because it’s nobody else’s business. I always say there’s 2 sides to the story. There’s ways of “cheating” besides sex, and Sienna was doing her share of working the room at parties when she wasn’t with Jude. So you know…whatever. We have no idea how “faithful” Johnny and Colin are when it comes to sex. Just because certain things don’t make it to the media doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. There’s a whole other world. I think it’s unfair that Jude still gets slammed by this because he’s so much more than that one little thing that happened. I always say, women should quit acting like victims of the big bad men and take responsibility for their relationships as well. This is coming from someone who has been “cheated on” and who has had enough time to look back and see her responsibility in the breakdown. It isn’t just on the man’s shoulders and it isn’t always just about sex.
I’m done. Sorry for the rant. I’m kinda bored right now.
sam04
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 03:11 pm: [report]
Colin Farrell is a twat, but after watching that brief love scene in The Recruit… yum. He could talk dirty to me in gaelic.
tattooed_redhead
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 04:00 pm: [report]
Jude Law gives me the creeps. Always has - I literally feel my skin crawl looking at him.
Colin Farrel I can take or leave. I think he’s kind of slimy though.
Johnny is just beautiful. I don’t think I’d want to either shag or marry him, though. Sometimes it’s good to leave a man in your fantasies.
Hanners
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 04:08 pm: [report]
Shun: Colin Farrell. Just not my type, enough said.
Shag: Jude Law. HOTTIE HOTTIE HOT HOT HOT, but he’s strictly #&@$% material. Mama always said call a spade a spade, and he’s obviously not a monogamy guy.
Marry: Johnny Depp. He’s hot, he’s been in the same relationship for a long time, and he’s neurotic and quirky, which is a requirement for any man to whom I become espoused.
inthemood
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 04:35 pm: [report]
Okay, then if you call a spade a spade, Johnny is a drug-addicted hotel-bashing, Winona-the-shoplifter-loving wanker. Jude was also in one relationship for almost 10 years, 6 of which were in marriage, and he was the one who pushed for the marriage. Sooooooo….what kind of spade is that? And then, after his divorce, he got into the relationship with Sienna, which obviously was a huge mistake, but then we all make them, right? Hardly the roving philanderer he’s made out to be. A lot less than some and no more than most, for sure. To be sure, if Jude had had an affair with Angelina Jolie, nobody would have thought twice. There’s almost a hypocrisy about it.
inthemood
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 04:41 pm: [report]
And about Johnny, although I like to watch the guy, beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder. I think a lot of times I wouldn’t want to be seen with him because he’s a wee bit too quirky for my taste, plus his cheeks look really gaunt sometimes. But he’s not an ugly man.
piratesfan60
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 06:06 pm: [report]
Johnny has had his bad boy times. He is certainly no angel, but since his children have been born he has been a different person. Johnny is a sweet person. Colin is doing better now. He’s cute, but not my type. Jude is cute too, I just have never liked him when I see him being interviewed. As far as Johnny’s cheek bones he is 1/3 Cherokee so am I and that’s just part of our features high cheek bones.
sam04
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 06:22 pm: [report]
I think the whole “shun, shag, marry” game is meant to be a quick, funny game. There seems to be a lot of thought put into what kinds of people they are, and… truthfully, none of us will ever know them!
I prefer to be shallow and cast my vote based on lustiness!
inthemood
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 06:50 pm: [report]
Pirates, I’m also a fraction Cherokee. My mom had more of the characteristics than I do, though.
sam, lustiness or otherwise, my pick is always Jude. : ) Regarding Colin, I’ve never really been into, but it’s not because I think he’s a horrible person. My favorite movie of Johnny’s is Gilbert Grape. I think he was adorable in that.
sam04
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 06:53 pm: [report]
@inthemood: Only if he has his english accent. When he plays an american, I go right off him.
inthemood
wrote on May 26 2009 @ 06:54 pm: [report]
And yes, Sam, you’re right, I’ve put a lot of thought into this whole Shun, Shag, or Marry thing, but as I stated earlier, I’m bored right now. I’m stuck working tonight on my computer tonight, so this is bit of a diversion.
jessicaroks
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 11:53 am: [report]
Didn’t the frisky just have a post about “Why women cheat?” A rising number of us are guilty of it, and it seems we typically do it when there are problems in the relationship and are trying to reconcile a break up. So shouldn’t we all be a little more forgiving to a celebrity who had to suffer his indiscretions in the public eye? Plus I’ve had a thing for him since 98. He is in my shag + marry column despite any opposition.