Sex Advice: My Dude Is Totally Into Internet Porn
Posted by: Sexpert Lindsay
Filed in:
sex
9:00AM, Wednesday July 16th 2008
“Should I be worried that my boyfriend has been secretly watching Internet porn?”—Dating Mr. Skin Flick, via email
Internet porn for guys is like sex for our parents…they all do it, we just don’t want to think about it (and they don’t like to admit it).
A healthy amount of porn for guys OR girls is absolutely nothing to be worried about. If your boyfriend secretly watches porn it doesn’t mean he’s “cheating” on you. It just means that your guy is average, and falls into the statistic that guys think about sex every seven seconds. He also probably feels a little embarrassed that he does it. This is all totally normal.
The only time you should be concerned is if your boyfriend is using porn as a crutch. If he’s watching it more than you would consider normal (say, once a day?), or watching it instead of having sex with you (i.e. he’s watching it in the living room while you’re waiting for him to come into the bedroom), a conversation might be in order.
Got a burning question for our amazingly wise Nookie Know-It-All? Email it to sexpert@thefrisky.com. Don’t worry, we’ll keep your deets between us.
A Note On Playing It Safe: The Frisky thinks safe sex is smart sex - so please practice it in the way that’s right for your relationship.
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
BitchBuzz
wrote on July 17 2008 @ 07:46 am: [report]
Ugh, this is such touchy subject. I totally agree that either members of the relationship watching porn (separately or together) is OK - as long as it isn’t interfering with your sex life. If your boyfriend refuses to give it up, choses to wank off to porn instead of sleeping with you, or clearly has an unhealthy relationship with it, than that’s not OK and you have every right to be upset about it.
I think it’s really important that you and your boyfriend are just open about things like this. Masturbation is a part of your sexuality and is OK, but it just gets awkward when it interferes with your sex life.
Pete
wrote on July 19 2008 @ 06:22 am: [report]
Or you could take a sneak peek and get some ideas about spicing things up. A lover who can turn dreams into reality is a rare find.
par3
wrote on July 21 2008 @ 09:09 am: [report]
it annoys me just bc its immature #&@$% like reality kings and other completely disgusting and degrading stuff.
jd
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 07:07 pm: [report]
i find it no coincidence that we live in a culture where the world “god” in public schools is an issue in the supreme court and watching other naked people have sex and getting off to it, while in a relationship is not “cheating.” These are real men and women in porn. Getting erect is a physical feeling. How can being aroused over another woman that’s not your girlfriend not be cheating. This is so typical of our culture. Having one night stands, watching porn, titty bars, strip clubs. But of course, none of it is cheating right? I’m sure every major world religion and God Himself, approves of strip clubs and people being paid to have sex in porn, while others watch it. Yeah, sure….then we wonder why people think we live a promiscuous culture compared to most others.
MariaS87
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 08:12 pm: [report]
@jd Um, if you are so disturbed by all sex that isn’t sanctioned by “God”, what are you doing posting comments on a sex and relationships website? Shouldn’t you be judging people for not keeping their sexual desire under lock and key?
lila
wrote on October 20 2008 @ 03:35 pm: [report]
I’ve beeen living with this guy for a year and a half, I’ve recently noticed that on his computer that he’s been watching porn. I asked him if he’s been doing that, I didn’t tell him that I saw it on his computer, he let me know it’s only to relieve himself when I’m not there and that’s all,and that he’s happy with me. He said he wouldn’t do it again if it made me uncomfortable. I told him I would watch it with him, trying to compromise, and we have. I have been looking everynow and again at his computer and he has been looking and lying about it to me. We don’t have sex that often, about 1-2 times a week, he says he’s too tired from work, and that his sex drive went down because of meds he’s taking. I knew that when I met him, but didn’t know about the internet porn.
What am I supposed to think? I might understand if he had a high sex drive and he just wanted to relieve himself, it still bothers me that he’s looking at other naked women and getting off instead of going to me. Everytime I leave for work earlier than him I find it on his computer.
Am I just supposed to look the other way?
It feels like I’m not enough for him.