Sex Advice: I’m Dating Mr. Not-So-Big

“The guy I’m dating is seriously under-endowed. Is this a total deal-breaker?”—Dick-appointed, via email
Have you had sex already? If you have, then you know the answer better than I do. Just ask yourself this: Was it good?
When women experience orgasms during sex, it usually has nothing to do with how far in a penis goes or how wide. Most women’s orgasms are clitoral, and are achieved when pressure from the man’s pelvic bone rubs against her. The G-spot (which needs to be stimulated in order for a vaginal orgasm to be achieved) doesn’t exist in every woman, but those who do have it can reach it with their finger. I don’t know when the last time you measured your finger was (I measure mine all the time), but it’s not that long. Get my drift?

Whether or not a guy is good in bed or not has nothing to do with size. As my brother grossly told me during an argument in which I told him he probably had a small penis, ‘It’s not the size of the pencil, it’s what you write with it.” As a writer, I have to agree.

Got a burning question for our amazingly wise Nookie Know-It-All? Email it to sexpert@thefrisky.com. Don’t worry, we’ll keep your deets between us.

A Note On Playing It Safe: The Frisky thinks safe sex is smart sex - so please practice it in the way that’s right for your relationship.

comments

Biscuit Eater
wrote on August 30 2008 @ 06:27 pm: [report]

As a lifetime owner of just one model, I am only really familiar with my own (average-sized when napping). I’ve read that the size at rest can vary a good bit between men, but that they tend to be closer in size when erect. (However, I have seen some in skin-flicks that looked a little odd to me.)

One interesting thing though, is that mine can vary in size when erect. On very rare occasions, it has hardened up at what I would guess as about 20% smaller than usual. However, at other times it has been much thicker than usual. I suppose this is due to more blood being trapped inside.

I’ve tried the chemical assist a few times and that seemed to provide a slight boost in diameter. (It also made my head feel awfully congested, so I’ve decided to forgo that scenario.)

CuteCora
wrote on March 5 2009 @ 08:28 am: [report]

I agree with the statment! It’s not how BIG, but how you use it. I think also it depends on the women as well.. I don’t mean this to be rude, but if you are a little more “lose” than maybe you would need the BIGGER ya know..to fill the void, to recieve the pleasure that a small whoo.. could not do! Also some would say Men with big whoo’s don’t try all that well cause they think .. hey Im big and thats enough! NO TRUE(for those of you out there) You may be big but if you cant work it properly then it’s really a waste & you only end up makin the sex hurtful and uncomfotable..so use your tool wisly big or small and you will get great results!

jojo32
wrote on June 11 2009 @ 12:42 pm: [report]

I can feel the crucifixion coming, but I’ll say it anyway: size matters to me.

I havent been with all that many guys really. I was married and I always thought my ex had a fairly nicely sized penis. Hey, it worked for me, I wasnt complaining. After the divorce I was with a couple of other guys. I definitely noticed they were smaller. Also, couldnt get/stay as hard as my ex. I guess that has alot to do with it too. Even if it’s not *that* big, it definitely needs to stay hard for the whole job.

And, just to clarify (and maybe brag a little) I am one who can have the vaginal orgasms. In that case, the ‘smaller’ guys could never make that happen for me. *shrug*

EastCoastMale
wrote on June 11 2009 @ 12:46 pm: [report]

I personally find it refreshing and honest to see someone say that size does matter to some. As for the g-spot comment by Agata, I won’t even start to throw out the male equivalents.

duhh
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 10:55 pm: [report]

it’s not the size of your penis (within reason of course) it’s the passion you put behind it….do you put all of your feeling in it? Or are you just boinking?