Seven Compliments That Won’t Get You Laid

Joey Daytona
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 08:33 am: [report]

When I want to compliment someone I don’t know, I just mouth the word “WOW!” and smile. Works everytime.

40yrolddad
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 08:44 am: [report]

the funniest one I’ve EVER heard was at work a few yrs back:  we were doing some reconfiguration of our building so there had been construction workers wandering about for months.  one day as I was stepping out of the restroom when one of the supervisors(/foremen/whatever) noticed a particularly attractive woman (she was/is) going back to the office area from the elevator lobby and said (unaware of my presence):

“well slap my face and call me Louise!  DAMN, she’s good looking!!!”

I was completely stunned and about had to bite my bottom lip off to keep from collapsing into a fetal position laughing.  he then noticed me, looked shocked/embarrassed & scampered off into the stairs, abandoning his elevator wait - he’d never make eye contact w/me after that when I saw him… :D

joyy
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 08:51 am: [report]

The worst compliment/comeon I ever got came the day after my one roommate’s boss came over for a party we were having.  My roommates were all hanging out and the girl whose boss came over says “oh yeah, so my boss says you can buy him dinner any time.”  I bust out laughing at her, I had a bf at the time, but even if I didn’t I wouldn’t have gone for that load of crap.  I asked if he actually thinks that works on women, and she said apparently it had, at least once, for the guy ... who wasn’t even attractive or interesting.

lindseylee21
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 08:51 am: [report]

My boyfriend is full of weird compliments… he once told me I looked like Kathy Griffin because I have red hair and I’m funny. WTF?? I look like an overdone plastic surgery yenta?? He also loves to tell me how much he adores my “booty dimples.” Thanks. Thanks for pointing out that I have cellulite.  ::rolls eyes::

bumbler
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 09:01 am: [report]

I was told I had an ass like a black girl.  Stereotypes and compliments do not go together.

CatGoesNomNom
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 09:40 am: [report]

I dunno, I think I may have everyone beat. One guy, towards the end of a first date (which HAD been going well) said to me, “You know, you have a great dick-sucking mouth.” I SWEAR TO JESUS HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT. I got up and walked out without a word after that beauty. What a psycho.

writergirl
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 09:43 am: [report]

Worst compliment hands down was from a married guy who said he’d have sex with me.  We were all sitting around drinking, (so maybe he didn’t even mean it) and I don’t even know how we got on the subject…I hadn’t had sex in like two years at that point and the first person to offer was married.  Yeah…I feel loads better.  Thanks dude.

I Go To 11
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 09:46 am: [report]

When I was still single, I got a message from a guy I’d never met before on the dating site I was using, who decided it’d be a great idea to say (and this was the only thing in the message, BTW), “I think we should do some nude wrestling, complete with a happy ending.” Why on earth would he think that’d work with ANYONE?

Riley
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 10:04 am: [report]

@Cat - That is gold, I can’t believe it didn’t work on you.  Do I have your permission to use that line in the future?

CatGoesNomNom
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 10:10 am: [report]

@Riley: Lol sure, and if you follow it up with, “I’d like to see it in action, and don’t worry, my mom is NOT a light sleeper” you will surely have success!

lea322
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 10:44 am: [report]

In high school, my boyfriend and I had just spent a week as camp counselors, and we ladies weren’t allowed to wear make-up while we were there. After we got back, I went over to the BF’s house with make-up on, and he says to me, “Are you wearing make-up? Cuz you look really pretty when you do!” Apparently I’d looked hideous the prior week?

Riley
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 10:54 am: [report]

@Cat - I’ve never thought about using the mom line in conjunction with another line…I think you are really on to something here!

retro chic
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 10:54 am: [report]

I would say after just meeting someone “My therapist would approve of you” stands out. That, and another guy genuinely wooing with “You’re beautiful. You look just like my ex wife.” Ciao. On great terms or bad, that can’t be good.

@CatGoesNomNom: Yep, got that one too (there’s more than one of those guys), but a after a couple drinks, he called my lips DSLs – nice. Is that supposed to sound better with more alcohol? Hasta.

kinkeh
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 11:58 am: [report]

@lindseylee21 My boyfriend has also told me he likes my butt dimples.  Say’s they’re cute and I’m just like, what.. ?  haha Oh, well.

alphabete
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 12:18 pm: [report]

Back in my youth I was at a bar drinking with friends and strangers and having a rollicking good time.  Some guy who I didn’t know had joined our group and made his way to standing next to me.  He seemed nice enough, until he got me semi-alone and intoned “You’re not really the kind of girl I would ask out but I heard big girls are better in bed because they *really want it* and you’re funnier than I expected.”  I’m not even sure what it meant but for weeks afterward he was baffled when I gave him the stinkeye.

Another guy had sex with a friend of mine and told me later “There’s some for you if you want it.”  Thanks.

CatGoesNomNom
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 12:33 pm: [report]

@retro chic: Oh man, I’m kinda glad I’m not the only one then. Wow, I think if I heard that after drinking I may have actually thrown up.

@alphabete: ??? I think that is worse than mine. Did he reallly think that would work? On any woman living on Earth?

becktasm
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 01:04 pm: [report]

One guy told me I was like a “mighty redwood” and that he wanted to climb me. Another guy tried to pick me up and when he failed he gave me his number anyway and told me, “if you ever need a face between your legs, call me.” I wish I was making these up.

alphabete
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 01:15 pm: [report]

@Becktasm: O Lawd

These guys must be the ones going to those pickup artist seminars so they can learn to just seem smarmy without actually saying stupid and smarmy things.  It all makes sense now…

Dreaming
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 02:03 pm: [report]

I really have to agree with so much in this article and the comments it’s depressing.

1.  Yep, I’ve been compared to his mother (or his aunt) more times than I care to count.  It’s either that I look like her or I remind him of her.  Apparently, I’m very “motherly”.

2.  I have gotten the “you don’t look like you weigh that much!”

3.  I also got the lovely, “I like older women.”  One, I’m not old, you’re young.  Two, if I am old, you’re stupid to have even though I would enjoy being called and “older” woman.  Thanks for nothing.

Fortunately, I have dodged the DSL comment.  Yuck!  You poor girls!

writergirl
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 02:07 pm: [report]

@Cat and retro chich—I got the DSL line once….unfortunately I had no idea what the hell it meant.  (I was in my early twenties, too.  This is what happens when you don’t have the Frisky to learn things from) and it wasn’t until like two weeks later the guys who had said it, explained it to me.  Never wore that shade of lipstick again.

retro chic
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 03:38 pm: [report]

@Dreaming: your #3, yeah, I got that one too – I was 31 and he – 30. After my 30s, the age spread is bigger (prefer slightly younger men) and the line is sometimes the same – except now I’m considering the rebound, “Ah. You didn’t get around to washing your ‘Boy Seeks MILF’” t-shirt I see.” What’s a girl to do? eh.

@writergirl: lol, I’m sure there is super-decoder site that explains all the man-speak sex acronyms now (I hope). I’m in re-entry mode after 5 years, yikes.

hmoss05
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 04:38 pm: [report]

the worst i got was.. “Well You are at least sexier than paula dean.” cook your own damn meals.

_jsw_
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 04:46 pm: [report]

@retro chic: I don’t know of such a decoder site, sadly enough. I’m therefore unable to be the pig I should be because I don’t know the acronyms and sayings. However, at least I now know it’s considered standard fare to discuss a date’s physical attributes in terms of how they’d relate to my own pleasure.

writergirl
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 05:29 pm: [report]

@retro chic—I was thinking of Googling to see if there was a such a site but decided that it could lead to much scarier things, so I’ll keep my head in the sand where it has been all these years.

retro chic
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 05:41 pm: [report]

@_jsw_ and @writergirl: Craigslist ads might be a good resource, in a pinch anyway.

@wg: yes. head in sand = good. my plan too. just have to get thru that pesky dating phase first…

writergirl
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 05:53 pm: [report]

@retro—I couldn’t imagine having to start dating again.  My hat is off to you!

Although, from the way it sounds, the dating rules have changed in the seven or so years since I’ve been out there.  Head in the sand might not be a good thing.

_jsw_
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 06:05 pm: [report]

If only you girls knew what “head in the sand” meant.

*chuckles madly*

*hopes they fall for it or that, by some miracle, the phrase actually has some raunchy meaning*

writergirl
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 06:28 pm: [report]

@jsw—I am going to forgive you whatever your intentions just because you called me a “girl”.  Haven’t heard that in YEARS.

Now…google “Sir Dashwood” and see what you get other than Colin Firth images.

writergirl
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 06:29 pm: [report]

BTW….that is one of the reasons I *won’t* google “head in the sand”  it probably does have a dirty connotation.  And if so, I don’t need to know, don’t want to know…somethings are better left unknown.

retro chic
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 06:45 pm: [report]

@writergirl: ‘head in sand = good,’ as in married ‘good.’ Where I’m headed. That is, if I don’t detour into regression hypnosis from certain singles’ PTSD and provided dating doesn’t kill me outright. I’m a stayer not a player, so I can’t imagine dating either! (tho I have to) True hellishness.

@_jsw_: Thanks for the mythbuster; btw, Question: do you always think with the sound on, or do blog voiceovers?... fascinating device.

_jsw_
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 07:05 pm: [report]

@retro chic: A few things… I can probably get away with calling you a “girl” because I suspect we’re similar in age. Also, yes, I do think with the sound on. Always have. Oddly, I remember little of what I hear but remember most of what I read, even though I always “hear” what I read. Finally, “head in the sand” is just a euphemism for oral sex on the beach. Or at least it should be. Perhaps it could be the name of a derivative drink of “Sex on the Beach”. Or maybe a precursor. First, a shot of “head in the sand”, then some “sex on the beach”. And finally, kudos for pursuing relationships, not dates. Dates suck (well, at least figuratively, in my experience).

writergirl
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 07:12 pm: [report]

@retro—actually I’ve learned more from my husband regarding the dirty meaning of things than I ever would have known on my own.  I’ve also learned how prostitution works in China, Germany, Japan and Tampa.  Apparently, his young, hip, employees tell him things and he feels the need to come home and share.  The Frisky could probably learn a thing or two from those guys.

So marriage isn’t so good at me being able to uh…keep my head in the sand—sans the “Sex on the Beach” chaser.

KyllieKay80
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 08:37 pm: [report]

this is very funny article, marriage guys really need to get a clue

Getting Back Together with Ex

retro chic
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 11:58 pm: [report]

@writergirl—haha. Oh, yes, a mate’s office overshare can be enlightening, solicited or not [shaking head]. But, nothing like the vicarious international intrigues going on at your house, lol. So, no sand for you that way, just the sheltered reprieve from the dating world that I mean. I’ll send “postcards,” good for some laughs. maybe. cheers

@_jsw_: “Roger” that, Sir. All of it I live in LA. I should know this stuff… uh, its name, that is. Let’s add the new “Dating’s A Beach” cocktail to the menu, shall we? [picking sand from teeth. Oh. That’s salt. It’s a margarita. Ah, there’s hope]. Cheers to your journey too.

mlyway
wrote on July 10 2009 @ 09:41 pm: [report]

Yesterday, I was in a parking lot with my mom and this 40+ year-old guy walks up to us and says “Well I have found the two best-looking women in ________ (name of a town)”...and not that it was that bad, but I am only 18 so it’s kinda creepy, and no offense to my mom, but the guy probably said it more to me.

landesign
wrote on July 11 2009 @ 01:07 pm: [report]

How about worse pickup lines by women?
I was waiting to cross the street, wearing khaki shorts.
I heard a ladies voice yell out “Nice legs!”  I looked up to see a young lady coasting to a stop at the light. I didn’t have time to warn her of the stopped car in front of her. She smashed into the car, her passenger hitting his head, cracking the windshield.
Another, lady, older, came down my aisle while I worked at a supermart. She grabbed my package and stated that she wanted to #%&@ me.
It’s not only you ladies who get the weird ones.

CatGoesNomNom
wrote on July 12 2009 @ 09:07 am: [report]

@Phil in Reno: Um, please do not tell me how I like to be treated. I won’t “except” the fact because it is frankly not true: this “bad boy” thing is a myth made up by guys who are doormats and want to make themselves feel better. No woman likes a bad boy, they like a guy who has a little edge. The women you see who somehow get turned on being treated like dirt have self esteem issues, and do not speak for the rest of us.

And sorry but here’s a personal example: I have been on many first dates in my life, and those who got second dates were nice guys. Bad boys who act like douchebags and don’t treat me with respect get shot the hell down (and a few have gotten a slap).

I have a feeling you have been burned before, but please take your frustration out on something productive, not being an #&@$% to women.