Roofied Letter Writer Responds To Lucinda Rosenfeld’s Advice
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
news
1:45PM, Friday October 16th 2009
Not to beat this story dead, but a commenter pointed out that the “Friend Or Foe” letter writer has responded to Lucinda Rosenfeld’s advice—on Double X! Here’s a portion of what she wrote and we would like to say, “YOU GO GIRL.”
“For the record, I really was roofied, ma’am. The idea that I must provide you with a tox screen to prove it is galling ... But in the end, I don’t need your advice after all—I figured it out all by myself. Ten years of friendship is a long time, but I was clinging to an institution and a bond that these women abandoned years ago. Perhaps we continued to see each other socially because it was easier than forging new bonds. I’m not sure. For now, these women might be in my social circle due to our vast network of mutual friends, but they are certainly not the close confidantes I once thought I had. P.S. The day I rely more on a boyfriend than on a best girlfriend is the day I lose hope for womankind.”
[Double X]
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cattgirl813
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 01:06 pm: [report]
Good for her! Perhaps this lady should be the advice columnist instead of Ms. Rosenfield.
Humble Bee
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 01:13 pm: [report]
I agree Cattgirl813!
I especially agree with the last sentence! You never know if your going to stay with your boyfriend forever, but I do know that when I befriend someone, I will be there for them as long as I can! Its funny that she mentioned a bf, thats the last person I’d call. I’d call my parents before I’ll call him, because then they want to shove it in your face afterwards. Its happened to me, when I accidentally drunk dialed his number and kept saying, mom?! mom?! He kept calling me a drunk, and resenting my friends for a long time. All because of one night! I Kept my friends and dumped his ass…
tabby
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 02:10 pm: [report]
Well said! I’m glad she figured out the obvious, albeit painful, truth.
bethlynn00
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 02:25 pm: [report]
So if she figured it out on her own, why even write into an advice column? It seems like she left out a lot about the true nature of her relationship with these women in the original letter, like what changed that she somehow realized these weren’t her best friends, but just acquaintances? It took a response from an advice columnist to make you think about it on your own? Wouldn’t that mean she did her job? It seems like she should have made that clear in her head before asking for advice, so I think how she painted the picture of the situation almost warranted bad advice, because the situation was unclear. How can you ask for advice on an exaggerated or unrealistic situation? The whole thing is pretty silly on the writer’s part.
retro chic
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 09:28 am: [report]
@bathlynn00: It looks like she wrote the letter soon after, in incredulous shock, reliving in her traumatizing event AND her friends’ abandonment, but, after a time was better able to sort it out. Once she realized which end was up with her so-called friends, AND Rosenfeld’s callous take on her story, she came back swinging, more than happy to offer details and a “F**k-You!.”
I doubt anyone in her situation would be focused on the details that we find important now, not thinking ahead on the piranha analysis one is certain to receive from readers, let alone, Rosenfeld either.
retro chic
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 10:16 am: [report]
@bethlynn00 (sp fixed): I would also add, I think most of us would do things differently in retrospect; and if a person is writing a stranger in a public forum about a private incident, “clearly” was not part of the equation. Her friends clearly were not people she could go to for help.
majicksand
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 11:31 am: [report]
I didn’t read the first article until just now. That was pretty bad. I can’t imagine assuming that one of my friends left the bar without saying a word. At the very least I would call and ask where she was and if she was ok and let her know the rest of us were ready to go. If I didn’t get an answer, I would comb the bar then check to see if her car was still in the parking lot. This woman’s “friends” did none of that. On top of that, when they find out something bad has happened, they feel no responsibility?
I can’t imagine what Lucinda Rosenfeld was thinking when she wrote her response to this letter. I won’t necessarily say she should be fired over this, but it will most likely contribute to her eventual firing regardless. Not only was her advice bad, it was insensitive and irresponsible. Then she had the audacity to defend her advice in a follow-up? Her readership will undoubtedly diminish, thereby leaving the publication no choice but to replace her.