Romantic Comedies Aren’t The Only Fiction That Will Ruin Your Life
Posted by: Annika Harris
Filed in:
news
2:30PM, Tuesday December 16th 2008
A recent study found that fans of romantic comedies have unrealistic expectations of their life and relationships and often have trouble communicating with their partners. Rom-com devotees have an unrealistic idea that fate determines love, that the love-of-their-life should know what they want without them having to say it, and that sex with the right person will always be spectacular. We’re not surprised by the findings of this study, but we’d like to add a couple other fiction genres that we think have similar effects on life.
Like rom-coms, fairy tales will also set you up to fail romantically. Every woman at some point, usually after a major heartbreak, has to learn that there is no Prince Charming waiting to save her. Men and people, in general, can be unreliable. So it makes sense for a woman to learn to rely on herself. Instead of Rapunzel waiting for someone else to save her, she should have cut her own hair and used it to climb out of the tower. Then, she would have had her pick of any man in her village. Also, it’s rather unfair to expect a man to live up to a fictional character. And not having any give and take with your partner would get boring after awhile.
Soap operas will also give you an unrealistic idea of romance and relationships. You could watch soaps and think, “Jake returned to Suzie Q after a year of separation, and after he got kidnapped by aliens, because they’re destined to be together, just like me and Sam.” But most soap operas are set in small towns with a limited population, so if a character departs, you can be sure he’ll resurface at some point. However, it’s not a guarantee that your ex will return to you. Or that you’d even want him. Sure, the people in soap operas look really happy, even though they have tons of drama. That’s because they’re filthy rich, but don’t have to work. And as we all know, that’s just not the case for most people in the real world.
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grace
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 02:52 pm: [report]
I LOVE romantic comedies and they have not ruined my life. They definitely have their place in the universe. As a matter of fact, I am working on one now and when it is finished, it will definitely leave readers in a state of euphoria. There is nothing like falling in love, being in love and sharing love with people of like minds and situations.
Viva Italia! Thank God for people who care.
crmsnkatt
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 02:53 pm: [report]
I heard about this study on the radio a week or so ago. Of course, the DJ was a guy and completely bashing rom-coms. As a female, I watch rom-com and read romance novels to escape reality. I know it’s totally unrealistic. And while I have a few moments of “Man, I wish that were my life”, I do know that I have it pretty good. My boyfriend treats me well, loves my kid, and puts the toilet seat down after he’s done with it.
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 03:03 pm: [report]
I think rom-coms can be just entertaining or something to enjoy by women, or men if they watch them, they dont necessarily skew their views irrevicably so that their future relationships are pinned on false hopes. Seeing a cutesy, perfect relationship on screen or across the page is a way to kind of deompress and just imagine a parallel universe where all of this is possible and some perfect guy is waiting. Dont get me started on toilet seats, we had a huge debate on this in another post…=)
crmsnkatt
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 03:09 pm: [report]
@EastCoastMale:
LOL… I know that not all guys do it & that I’m an extraordinarily lucky girl to have a guy that’s willing to, even when we stay at his house.
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 03:15 pm: [report]
eh not even that but I will still refrain from adding my two cents =) I’ll just say thats good…
Pipi
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 04:19 pm: [report]
Disney, romantic comdies and romance novels have most certainly ruined my life. My ex did just call me Sleeping Beauty though, but him blowing up my cell to wake me up does not make him Prince Philip that is for sure.
focker81
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 04:22 pm: [report]
I think this might have some truth to it. I had a roommate who was obsessed with rom-coms and soap operas, and she had very unrealistic expectations from guys.
vanya
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 04:28 pm: [report]
I agree w/focker. I think it can have an effect on *some* women’s expectations of men. Just like porn can have an effect on *some* men’s expectations of women, as well. Not all, certainly, but some.
shannac02
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 04:31 pm: [report]
Ladies, Our unrealistic expectations in males start at Disney age… Where, Oh Where is prince Charming? What?! He’s not coming?! ugh.
Little Lamb
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 08:58 pm: [report]
Well, all media helps to shape our thoughts and beliefs. But maybe it’s not the movies that shape the beliefs, rather it is those who believe in such a way that seek those movies…???
elansdale
wrote on December 17 2008 @ 12:12 am: [report]
I am sooo a victim of the rom-coms. I came of age thinking that tumultuous relationships were “romantic” and not the destroyers of sanity and self esteem. I figured it out eventually, but I could have saved myself a lot of heart ache knowing all that was a fantasy. Momma tried to warn me….
Holly Page
wrote on December 17 2008 @ 03:15 pm: [report]
I agree with LaceyAM; all media has the potential to shape our expectations on everything from body image to relationships to what we “need” to buy. However, I think that many romantic comedies (and the other genres that were mentioned) are problematic in that they not only create unrealistic expectations about dating (for some), but also reinforce a lot of gender stereotypes. Isn’t the formula so often: boy meets girl, boy hurts girl, girl forgives boy, happiness ensues? I’m tired of comedies in general reinforcing the idea that men don’t want to grow up and women have to play mommies to them.