Relationship Novice: Moving (Your Stuff) In
Posted by: Lindsay Goldenberg
Filed in:
relationships
2:30PM, Sunday December 14th 2008
When you first start dating someone, it usually involves a lot of eating, drinking, and late-night book reading sessions. At the end of all those dates, you normally decide whose place to go to. If you’re like me, and have a roommate (and a railroad apartment), you end up staying at his place. But, after about a dozen times staying over, you realize that the new “bedhead” look you’re sporting to work isn’t looking so hot. Plus, there’s only so many ways you can wear his dress-shirts. (Preppy Wednesday and Friday?)
There comes a point where you aren’t ready to move in yet, but you want to make your stays over there as effortless as possible. Using your boyfriend’s toothbrush and shave gel is romantic for awhile, but if your legs are dry and your teeth are crying for home, it’s time to set up shop. So when do you start making his place your home away from home?
While there is no exact time frame, the consensus from guys tends to be around the two-to-three month mark. This is generally around the time you’ve established that you’re in a committed relationship and you don’t feel shy around your man. For me, that’s when I feel comfortable enough to take a magazine into the bathroom and tell my boyfriend, “I’m not going to come out for a long, long time.”
So, what should you leave there? In my opinion, the bare minimum, if you can. (Save the family photos for when you move in.) I like to leave a toothbrush, a goody bag of hair products, small body lotions, face creams, etc., and a couple of outfits. If it’s not easy to go back and forth between apartments, a dressy outfit is also a good call.
If you find yourself needing way more than the bare essentials, you might want to ask yourself if you’re staying over there too much. If you live in New York, and you have an apartment like mine, the answer is “no.” (I don’t have cable at my apartment!) But if you feel like you don’t have time for work, gym, hanging out with friends, your dog (if I had one it would be dead right now), then you might try spending more nights at the good ol’ bachelorette pad. It’ll make the days at your boyfriend’s place that much better.
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ClatieK
wrote on March 22 2008 @ 04:17 pm: [report]
I like when HE provides me with a toothbrush. Other than that, leave nothing. Or rather, BRING nothing with the purpose of leaving it, but if you accidentally leave stuff, so be it.
Elle
wrote on March 23 2008 @ 09:33 pm: [report]
I agree, after 2-3 months of dating, I found myself leaving a toothbrush and some skincare products in the bathroom. Clothing is a different story though. I usually waited until the 6 month mark before leaving any of my clothes.
atlgirl
wrote on March 26 2008 @ 07:05 am: [report]
I totally agree. If he’s staying over a lot with you, you can pave the way by getting him a toothbrush.
gillybeans
wrote on April 15 2008 @ 02:05 pm: [report]
At the beginning of mine, I bought so many tops from the cheap tramp shop by the train station and just changed in the office at work. What a waste of money, i should have been man enough to dump some clothes there!
eden
wrote on December 14 2008 @ 08:22 pm: [report]
My advice - and this is a little out there - would be to ask him if you can leave a change of clothes and toiletries at his place. You’re already sleeping with each other so he might not even totally wig out!
juliePS
wrote on December 15 2008 @ 08:43 am: [report]
I have a little bag that has all my travel toiletries in it—toothbrush, shampoo, etc.—that I keep in my office for when I go to the gym. I just throw that bag in my purse when I think I might get some, bring a different shirt (same pants two days in row, woo!) and that’s about it.
par3
wrote on December 15 2008 @ 03:10 pm: [report]
just wait till you’re using those very clothes mid-argument as break up threat material. and the suitcase. sorry i’m just being real.
missmirandab
wrote on December 17 2008 @ 11:34 am: [report]
Ahh yes par3, I remember many times packing my 3-4 outfits in a bag and securing my skincare and hair products in storage bags (to avoid leaks!)all while saying, “I’ll just take my stuff and leave!”
He’s now my ex
...third time packing was the last…
I do wish that I could have walked out without a heavy bag on my shoulder weighing me down!