Quickies: Oral Sex Makes A Man Feel Accepted & The Service Industry Is Oversexed

Pinky
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 06:32 pm: [report]

Just for the record my husband does not like me to give him oral, he just has never really liked oral. He is a dynamo is straight missionary sex however, he just prefers that.

Jitterbugs232
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 06:48 pm: [report]

I think it feels good for them and they don’t have to do any work but lay back and relax

bumbler
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 07:15 pm: [report]

1)@ Pinky I was with a guy once who could not come from oral or manual stimulation with women, only straight up intercourse.  He could get himself off with his hand.  Different strokes, if you’ll pardon the pun.

3) So they’re defending Polanski because?

6)  Waitresses who do this are skeevy and get no tips from me.  Same for waiters that will flirt with me in front of my husband.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 07:40 pm: [report]

@bumbler: Poland sounds like Polanski, that’s why.

bumbler
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 08:14 pm: [report]

Well then I hope the great nation of Bumbletonia will stand behind me in the future.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 08:16 pm: [report]

Cheesytopia will make you constipated then.

cali_candy
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 08:27 pm: [report]

ugh, pic linked to the nipple article is totally gross

“Workers in the service industry labor such long and odd hours that their dating pool consists of coworkers and customers”. Isn’t this true for mostly everyone? At least I know in my area (academia) lots of ppl meet their SO through their class/lab/school/research group. I mean you spend most of your non-sleeping time at work, and people you work with have common interests and backgrounds

bumbler
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 08:45 pm: [report]

@cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese do your worst we’re populated entirely by wombats and the imaginary billy-bumblers.

GreyWolf
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 06:22 am: [report]

IMO a bj is the ultimate gift from a woman.  I cannot believe that she is getting any real pleasure from it other than the emotional one of satisfying her partner.  She is doing something wonderful FOR me and it definitely does make meu feel she is accepting me on an extremely intimate level.  Far more so than intercourse.

On the other hand, going down on a woman is just plain fun, and the fact that she likes it, too, is just a bonus.  We do it for ourselves, and the women are just innocent victims of pleasure

thegr8brownie
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 08:33 am: [report]

@bumbler: I have been waiting a long time to ask but it would have never made sense with the article… But now I know that bumbler is short for billy-bumbler! Awesomeness.

bumbler
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 09:12 am: [report]

@gr8brownie Yup I’m a total nerd   One of my favorite characters from one of my favorite book series. Oy the billy-bumbler from The Dark Tower series.

SamL
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 09:15 am: [report]

@GreyWolf. You can’t believe women get any pleasure from giving a guy a BJ? What makes you think that?

You write a little later that going down on a woman is just plain fun. Why should going down on a man be different for a woman.

From a personal point of view, there are degrees of desire, and the better looking the penis, the more enjoyable the act. (I know, I’m such an image queen!)

I can’t say I get a big kick from an uncircumcised penis - I prefer my men cut thank you. But that’s not to say uncut is a total no, no.

I like watching how what I’m doing makes a man, well, most men, go completely ga ga! The sense of power is incredible, and I find it makes a fantastic starter to incredible sex.

Alternatively, a BJ designed to be the main course can be total fun as well…

However, in my experience, there’s a far more important question that has been carefully avoided so far, and that’s the spit or swallow conundrum!

GreyWolf
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 09:27 am: [report]

@SamL:  I KNOW that women have told me they enjoy it.  And as a man, trust me, I enjoy receiving it, and appreciate it.  I just wouldn’t want to do it myself, lol… so I can’t imagine deriving pleasure from it.  But I’m glad you do, and would never want to deprive you of the opportunity!  Feel free, anytime

You’re right about us going gaga, and I’ve been told have the fun is watching our reaction.  I can imagine it would give you a sense of power.

As for the spit/swallow issue… I don’t really care to be honest.  As I said, I think it’s one of the nicest things a woman can do for me, and I’m certainly not going to be upset about something as trivial as that.  My opinion is that that is entirely the woman’s choice.

GreyWolf
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 09:37 am: [report]

Oh, and I *AM* circumcised . 

But married :-(. 

Happily

SamL
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 09:52 am: [report]

@GreyWolf. Congratulations! But I hope you your wife goes down on you for more than the emotional satisfaction of simply satisfying you… Like you said, “We do it for ourselves, and the women are just innocent victims of pleasure.”

C.Munro
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 10:00 am: [report]

Not a big fan of oral, myself.  Never really did much for me.  I’d rather just have sex.

bumbler
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 10:18 am: [report]

I guess we’re weird.  We have oral almost every time we have sex.  Great foreplay for us.

SCRMOM
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 10:57 am: [report]

@bumbler:  We’re the same way.  I was talking to some of my married friends recently and this topic came up, and they were all horrified when I shared this.  They either 1) never did it anymore, or 2) would only do it on “special occasions” and expected some gift afterwards. 

God, I hope luvtara isn’t lurking around here anymore.

bogart4017
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 02:20 pm: [report]

@Pinky—me,C.MUNRO and your husband would get along just fine. I don’t knock oral, i just don’t dig it. Like Munro i’d rather just have sex. Can’t explain it but there it is. Not that women havent looked at me like i was Dodo the Kid From Outerspace.

SouthOC
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 04:15 pm: [report]

My wife and I both love to give and receive.  It’s what we used to call “foreplay” back in the day…

canadiancutie
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 11:28 pm: [report]

I very much enjoy giving oral pleasure to a man, and it’s simply for one reason: I’m good at it. I got good at it by lots and lots of practise (OK, and asking for tips, and watching Pamela Anderson do it… she’s not bad). Feeling confident in my abilities and feeling like I have all this power to give someone I care about pleasure simply turns me on more than anything else. Literally. I have a physiological reaction to doing it that is akin to 2 hours of making out. I think a man who says he doesn’t really enjoy it is one who could use a mind-blowing BJ.

SamL
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 04:53 am: [report]

@canadiancutie. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. The quality of a BJ is the vital ingredient.

If a girl doesn’t know how to give a great BJ, then no man is going to enjoy it. But a good BJ, I have been told, really blows a man’s mind. (No pun intended!)

draymond
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 07:30 am: [report]

I think that the youtango vid missed the obvious thing about fellatio.  It is a sex act that allows the man to be both hedonistic and passive.  In normal sex if a man is only interested in his pleasure he is being a selfish cad.  Not so with fellatio.  Also most sex acts require that the man be involved with energetic thrusting.  Fellatio allow the man to just lie back and just enjoy it. 

Now I know that there are cases, particularly in porn, where the guy grabs the back of her head and rams away until she is ready to puke or suffocate, but honestly guys I think it is a very rare woman who enjoys having her gag reflex forcibly triggered so trying this is a good way of insuring that there will never be a second time.

draymond
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 07:43 am: [report]

Oh and on the male nipples thing.  As best I can tell guy’s nipples have as many nerve endings as womens’.  On the other hand straight guys are awkward about being feminized.  For example it is always safer in a relationship to talk to a man about his ‘chest’ rather than his ‘breasts’. Most guys would get weirded out if a woman treated their breasts with the same erotic fascination that they have towards women’s breasts.  So my bottom line advice is to go ahead and play with his nipples, but don’t make a big deal about it.

NomChompsky
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 12:18 pm: [report]

About the male nipple, thing:

I’m not really sure why it’s impossible to ask a dude whether he likes nipple play before hooking up. Or while hooking up. It’s kind of a silly article, because asking a handful of people isn’t really going to help you in any given sexual experience.

10 minutes of giggly awkward conversation is worth hours of much better sex. Trust me.

“I think a man who says he doesn’t really enjoy it is one who could use a mind-blowing BJ. “

I’ve given oral sex at least 20 times as many times as I’ve received it. I’m pretty sure that’s only because I have some not so latently narcissistic tendencies that don’t allow me to relax unless I’m doing something “productive”. While some girls have agreed that there’s probably some underlying psychological hangup that prevents me from being able to fully cede control, pretty much all of them have been reticent to help me through it.

So it’s a mental hangup, for sure, but one that seems to pay some dividends.

C.Munro
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 01:49 pm: [report]

I actually have had one very good experience on the receiving end of oral sex.  I even put an essay about it on my web page. 

But it’s still not something I ask for.  I have to say, if I were with a woman I liked who told me I could have tons of sex with her, but she’d never give me head, it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for me.

Kate134
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 10:00 pm: [report]

@ C.munro: sometimes we’re tired or out of commission for the week I give head generously and enthusiastically, always including when I don’t expect immediate reciprocation. I know he’ll go to town when I’m back in service.

But I really start to wonder - do guys actually ever tell women when they aren’t digging their BJ technique? I’ve always gotten high praise for mine but I wonder at that point if they’d actually tell me if it was terrible…

Sparkknock
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 11:36 pm: [report]

....my girl Alicia swears her complexion has improved
and her skin is generally smoother since recieving
regular ‘hot beef injections’ by me. She gave me oral
for two months on a daily basis and is convinced this
works. It wasn’t my idea, I don’t need the release that
often but we DO enjoy each other, so, I’ll help
anyway I can. I workout alot, eat right, drink a lot
of water during the day, sleep well and take fairly
high doses of vitamens. We can get it done pretty
quick usally, if we need to, cuz she knows exactly
how to get me off. When we screw, I’ll pull out and
my whole load of cum goes down her throat, everytime.
Two or three squirts per day is normal. I can cum 4
or 5 times a day, but the volumme is less. She really
enjoys a big ‘saved up’ load, so now one or two shots
is getting it done. Since we started this routine, my
O’s have gotten intense but she never gags, just
swallows, every stringy drop. I guess we’re both lucky
to have each other. My sperm is hers and when I beat off,
she is right there waiting for the next gulp. lucky me.

GreyWolf
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 05:56 am: [report]

@Kate134… telling a woman she isn’t good at giving head is a lot like telling a guy he’s too small (or just laughing at it )... it’s a perfect way to end a session abruptly.  Short of painful scraping, it will feel good.  Will it be great?  That’s another question, and most men feel privileged to be receiving, so we’re not about complain.  Even bad oral is usually good

That being said, communication is important, and you have to know your partner, and when she’s open to suggestions.  If she’s not the sort that likes criticism “on the job”, I’m going to be VERY careful while she’s got my favourite appendage squarely between her teeth.  There will be a more opportune (and safer) time, lol.

OKSUNI
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 03:43 pm: [report]

I dont mind giving head…I enjoy it more with someone I really care about (yes,I’ve done it to guys whom I didn’t much care for; young and stupid and all that). There is just something really hot about having a guy under your complete power! As for swallowing, I have got to LOVE you for that.

stiffinp
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 03:46 am: [report]

Whats the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting
Swallowing

and Gargling!

canadiancutie
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 05:56 am: [report]

Kate134, a good way to tell if you’re ACTUALLY good is if anyone’s ever told you you’re the best they’ve ever had, post-sex. It’s one thing to say you’re doing an amazing job; quite another to be told they’ve never had it done better. If it happens with more than one guy you can feel pretty secure in your abilities.

C.Munro
wrote on October 8 2009 @ 01:06 pm: [report]

@Kate134:  I generally won’t complain unless it’s painful.  Other than that, I don’t even know if I’d be much a judge of how great she may be because I’m not all that into it.  It may be great for some other guy, but doesn’t do it for me. 

However, I will try to guide things in the right direction by saying, “Oh, I like it when you do [whatever it is],” and showing honest appreciation for what I still consider a rather intimate act of kindness.

MuchoMacho
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 02:41 pm: [report]

heres the deal…  i dont expect a mind blowing BJ.  but if i go down on you and you do not go down on me, this is definately a one night stand.  if you go down on me and are amazing, i will call back.  if you suck, or are average, i am withholding judgement until intercourse.

CondomElite
wrote on October 10 2009 @ 07:22 pm: [report]

BJ is Great! BJ is Fun! BJ is Cool! BJ is sexy! BJ is JOYYYY!