Pulling Out: Is It Worth Trying Out?

Raugiel
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:04 am: [report]

I would NEVER consider using the “pull out” method as a form of birth control. Seriously, why don’t you just use wishful thinking? It’s probably about as effective…

I have dumped guys who told me they actually used the rhythm method as a serious form of birth control (btw, every guy who has said that to me had a child while using this method of “birth control” which I pretty much equate to pulling out in terms of how sensible it is…). It is a sure sign that he doesn’t understand how to be responsible with his genitals.

Kiki T
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:05 am: [report]

When the pull out method comes into play, that is always how I know my relationship is getting serious…but I don’t play Russian roulette—you can totally do it with minimum fear of getting preggers if you are really regular…but I did also use condoms and gave myself a big window for possible danger zone, switching to condoms during that time…so it was like half the month with pull out and half the month with condoms….I only tried the pill once, but argh—no f"ing way ever again! I say go for it condoms suck!!!

Riley
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:05 am: [report]

Elaine Benes has a few sponges left, you could buy them from her.

snap
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:05 am: [report]

I think it’s worth a try and that it would probably be successful.  Although I don’t typically rely on it, in my experience, most men know when they are close and are able to pull out in time.  If you know your body well (which may take time after coming off the pill), you should pair withdrawal with the fertility awareness method.  I always know when I ovulate, so that method is easy for me, but I understand that’s not the case with a lot of women.  As a negative, though, I did once read somewhere that it is unhealthy for a man to halt ejaculation every time.

snap
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:06 am: [report]

ps - my bf and i used condoms for more than a year, and occasionally had unprotected sex (using withdrawal) during “safe” times of the month—but only several days after I had ovulated and never during the “safe” beginning of my cycle.  i never got pregnant and never even worried about it.

GreenAura
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:08 am: [report]

@Wendy:  Withdrawl has been mine and my husbands preferred method for nearly 10 years with no problems.  I totally trust my husbands “timing”.  Give it a try.  The worst thing that could happen is pregnancy, which you said wouldn’t be the end of the world so go for it.

Mielita
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:08 am: [report]

I’ve been at it for close to a year with my boyfriend and we remain child-free.  The important thing to remember is that it’s a two part process if done well.  I’m not saying you need to take your temperature and get all rhythm method-y but knowing the natural processes of your body and all it’s fabulous fluids (it was the least gross word I could think of) helps a whole lot.  I know what are the BIG no-no days and I just stick to them religiously, otherwise it’s one big love-fest. Being open to the idea of having a kid is a nice back up too… we’re adults and could handle a baby.  When I was a teenager, even on the pill I demanded that they spackle and shellac that thing.

Plus, he and I both noticed how much happier and more energetic I am off of the pill, you feel much lighter in body and mind. Have fun!

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:08 am: [report]

Anal.

Lol, not really.

Mielita
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:10 am: [report]

@riley

YES! I was hoping someone would bring that up!!

skywalk
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:14 am: [report]

That was my birth control in my first marriage (which was 5 years) we had one very planned pregnancy so as effective if the guy knows what he’s doing.

I use condoms now, but what I liked about the birth control is being able to control my flow and it took care of the PMS symptoms.  But I don’t do well remembering to take them and they are pretty expensive.

C.Munro
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:16 am: [report]

The problem with withdrawl is that “practiced perfectly” part.  I don’t know if all guys are the same, but in my case the timing of ejaculation and the physical sensation of an orgasm aren’t always 100 percent in synch.  I may think I’m only close when really, in one sense at least, I’m already there.  I don’t see it very practical as a primary form of birth control, at least for someone who really doesn’t want kids at the moment.

joyy
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:25 am: [report]

Wow.  A friend of mine who is a high school science teacher (i.e. she should know better!) says she and her husband have been using the “pull & pray” method for over a year now with no ‘accidents’ ... but everyone else in earshot was more interested in knowing if she had baby names picked out for kid #2.

I would say don’t do it if you aren’t comfortable (both of you) getting pregnant at this point.  But that’s just me.

Also, prepare yourself for the possibility that the weight won’t come off.  Sometimes our bodies just change as we age, and just because you’re blaming those issues on the pill doesn’t mean going off it will solve those problems.  They might - my emotional bs went away in a matter of weeks - but there’s no way to know for sure until you take that plunge.

Alison Wonderland
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]

Wendy, I know you said the other methods aren’t for you. But there is also Implanon. But it also hormone based and you are already unsatified with the pill… But it’s another option.

bethlynn00
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:28 am: [report]

I equally hate the pill, and apparently it is possibly messing with my vision, a side effect that I never read on the prescription, but is pretty common?  I am only on the pill because I have menorrhagia and it makes me stop bleeding, so I now truly understand your hatred of the Pill and other oral contraceptives, it is shared.  I think that unless you want to become the Duggars and pop out 18 babies, every married couple worries about birth control and what is most convenient to them and marriage doesn;t make that problem just disappear, again unless your the Duggars.  However I have never know any couple who successful used the pull-out method on a long term basis without a child being produced, as a matter of fact my bestie’s and her hubby’s new baby is due Nov. 16th, a product of them using the pull-out method because she did not want to go back on the pill after having their last baby who just turned 3 last week, even though it took a while, eventually it is going to fail, but then again any type of birth control is going to/ has the potential to fail, so if you and your hubby feel comfortable with the consequences, I wish you good luck.

*Disclaimer: I know in previous post I have been very adamant about safer sex methods, particularly condom use, but in a monogamous relationship, where the couple have been tested and are aware of each other’s sexual histories, I think b.c. methods are more up to what makes the couple comfortable. 

**Oh yeah, did anyone see the episode of I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant where the couple was using the rhythm method for months and then they went camping and she gave birth in the outhouse on the camp ground and the baby fell out and hit it’s head on the ground?! Ugh, I still have nightmares about that episode!

catscratchfever
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:37 am: [report]

I tried at least four different oral contraceptives before finding one that worked well for me, without making me go crazy or gain weight.  They’re not all the same.

SCRMOM
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:38 am: [report]

After getting married, I stopped taking the Pill, and my husband and I started using the withdrawal method.  We used this for quite a few years before deciding to try to conceive, which we did quite easily 3x.  By the way, I thought the first time actually trying to get pregnant was so bizarre since we had spent so many years trying not to get pregnant.

camille905
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:38 am: [report]

I have many a friend who used to pull out method for YEARS and didn’t get pregnant. It might be worth “testing” while you’re still on birth control to see how he works.

Also have you considered the Nuva ring? I can’t take the Pill because I gain weight and become an evil b*tch from the ninth circle of hell but I didn’t have those issues with the ring. You put one in for three weeks, take it out for a week and have your period, and then put a new one in. It is a little more expensive depending on your insurance but way easier on your body.

GreenAura
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:39 am: [report]

@bethlynn00: “I have never know any couple who successful used the pull-out method on a long term basis without a child being produced”... Well, it has worked for me.  We’ve never had a child and the only time I had an almost pregnancy was when we actually tried to conceive.  I say “almost pregnancy” because I ended up having a miscarriage.  So we went back to withdrawl which has been successful for us.  Also, I have friends that went about 8 years using withdrawl with no problems.  The first time they stopped pulling out, she got pregnant.  One shot, one kill.

cymbelene
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:43 am: [report]

I think the key here is how adamant the man is about not having a baby.
I went off the pill for the EXACT same reasons (although to be honest- the weight did not fly off as I’d hoped but my boobs did diminish).  After having one baby (not on purpose but not using the withdrawal method), we don’t want to have another one for some time.
And my husband REALLY doesn’t want to have another one right now. Which makes the pull out method work perfectly for us because he ALWAYS pulls out in time. Although he’s had lots of practice so he’s sort of “perfected” it- so I’m not too worried.

Another option here as a back up to the pullout method is Vaginal Contraceptive Film (VCF).  You could use that in addition to pulling out if you are worried. It’s not hormonal and doesn’t get in the way like condoms…
We use it sometimes on its own (as in- not in addition to anything) and have never had any problems. Knock on wood! hahaha. pun intended

joyy
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:47 am: [report]

@camille905 - fyi ... you have no way of knowing what will ‘be easier’ on anyone else’s body.  I’m glad nuvaring works for you because even though I <3 the concept, nuvaring triggered a massive breakdown and other hellish symptoms when I was on it, while the pill was way easier to handle.  Switching from one rx to another, like @catscratchfever said, might be a better option for someone who still isn’t willing to take a bigger risk on getting pregnant.

MadMax
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:50 am: [report]

I was on the pill (low hormone levels) for over 8 years (with a couple 3 months breaks in between). After my divorced I stopped the pill and within 8 months dropped the 20 lbs I had gained over those years. Was it the pill? Was it the stress of the separation? Was it the stress of starting all over in a new town combined with relocating my office at work? I don’t know. 6 months later I still don’t know why I dropped all the weight (it could have been that I dropped the “husband-added weight” lol). Anyway, I know this couple that only have sex during her “safe days” (he kept track; it was hilarious when they were looking for that second kid; she’d say “I think I’m finally pregnant” and he’ll say “not yet honey”). This other girl that I know started trying the pull out method (to save money)and got pregnant with her second child within 2 months (her husband had just lost his job so imagine that one).

So, to agree with a few comments on this post, I would say that, as long as you are ok with an unplanned pregnancy and you are super regular, give the pull out method during your safe days a shot.

lilrockgoddess4u
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:53 am: [report]

Pull out has been working for me and my BF for almost two years now.  I keep a plan B around in case we slip up but haven’t had to use it.  We are both very non children so I really don’t worry about him not making it out in time.

occumb
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:54 am: [report]

I’m with the “never” folks. I just quick BC for the same reasons, and my husband and I are trying out all kinds of different condoms. While it’s not ideal sensation-wise, we’re having fun in the experimentation, and overall the sex lasts a lot longer. Plus, BC killed my libido, and it’s bouncing back beautifully, overall not a bad trade off.

camille905
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:59 am: [report]

@joyy obviously I have no way of knowing what will and won’t work for people….but the Pill can cause more damage because the hormones are filtered through your entire body versus being dispersed locally as in the ring.

get a grip.

Kathls
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:00 am: [report]

I recently had a discussion about the pull-out method with a friend.  Here first statement was that her daughter would be six in October ...

I personally don’t care for this method because having a baby is not in the realm of options for me right now.  I have a copper IUD which I love.  It’s efficacy rate mirrors the pill, if not a bit higher, I don’t have to think about it, it’s just there .  I still use condoms too, but knowing I have an IUD in case the condom breaks is a huge relief.  I also have Plan B in the house.**

**I tried to buy Plan B at a grocery pharmacy, and they were OUT of it!  I’m not sure how a large pharmacy could run out of a prescription when part of it’s function is for Emergencies.  But I found it at the next store.  I keep a box around just in case.

mayorbubbles
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:01 am: [report]

@bethlynn00

OH MY GOD! i remember that episode! She sat there and STARED at the baby on the ground. I couldn’t stop yelling at the tv, lol

joyy
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:05 am: [report]

@camille - nuvaring may be dispersed ‘locally’ but it can still have tons of similar side affects regardless.  And I don’t recall having any ‘damage’ done to my body because I was on the pill, even though I wasn’t happy with it either.  I’ve also never heard any medical professional back up the idea that taking the pill does more damage to your body than the ring ... but I did get a grip - I got an IUD

Laurel
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:07 am: [report]

If it’s not TMI, why the diaphragm hate? Anyway, I say as long as your menstrual cycle is regular and both of you would be okay with an accidental pregnancy, go for it. Rhythm is very effective as long as you know your cycle, so I would think combining it with withdrawl would be a somewhat safe bet. It’d still be a bet, but if you’re dead set on going off the pill, and are against other forms of bc, then looks like that’s your option.

Rokkor
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:09 am: [report]

Guys will leak a few drops of semen before they ejaculate. There’s less of a chance of getting pregnant if his timing’s perfect… but “less” is the keyword there.

Have at it, but just have some baby names handy.

SCRMOM
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:22 am: [report]

@bethlynn00: Between using the withdrawal before starting the Pill, after stopping the Pill and between pregnancies, we used it for over 10 years.  (This even included when we were dating in high school.)  No unplanned pregnancies, and I have no doubt that I’m fertile since each of my pregnancies happened very quickly once we tried to conceive. 

Some couples use the pull-out method during the time of month that they think the woman is ovulating, but they don’t pull-out when they think it’s the “safe time” of the month.  However, many of them still say they are using the withdrawal method.

aquamarine
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:33 am: [report]

I would be down to use withdrawal if, like, Wendy, I were married and not QUITE ready for a child yet, but still it would not be disastrous if I were to get pregnant.  It can be quite effective if the guy “knows his stuff,” is down for the task, and if you avoid fertile days.  On the other hand, if I were Wendy I’d stick with the Pill.  10lbs weight gain, although really annoying, is a trivial side effect compared to many of the birth control side effects I’ve experienced—migraines, depression and an enduring endocrine disorder brought on by four different types of HBC, ridiculous periods and monthlong cramps with the copper IUD (which I wanted to LOVE), broken condoms and ensuing worry.  Good luck with your decision—it seems that no form of birth control is without its pitfalls :(

equnsuocha
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:42 am: [report]

My sister used the rhythm method, 4 kids, 3 miscarriages, and one term later, I would say that this is not an ideal method unless you are VERY in tune with your cycle or like me have fertility issues.

workerbee
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:48 am: [report]

My ex and I used the pull out method when we were dating.  Neither of us were ready for a child.  I knew when I was ovulating but had sex anyways.  Our child just turned 4.  It’s not at all foolproof and if I recall correctly, he pulled out well before it was time.  Pre-ejaculate can get you pregnant and the men don’t feel that.  Just a warning.

skywalk
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:52 am: [report]

@bethlynn00: It worked me as I said above.  We had one child but that was the plan so we used the pull out method for 5 years total-  before and after that and I never got pregnant.  It works for some couples!

Lynn
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 12:00 pm: [report]

Yeah, I would say, this is a “never” in my book. Maybe spermacide plus pull out MAYBE if they were truly our only options. And I’d still be white-knuckling it. Pulling out as a sole means of birth control seems extremely irresponsible to me.

Also, try different pills before you give up. I notice a big change in my mood just between generic and name brand.

delovely
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 12:02 pm: [report]

I’ve used this method with serious boyfriends for long spans of time. No baby yet.

Try a combination of withdrawal and monitoring your cycle for when you are the most fertile. Suck it up and deal with condoms once in awhile.

OR try the mini-pill if you’re on the combination pill.

saramarie
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 12:14 pm: [report]

if you’re still considering traditional birth control you could always switch to the neuva ring. i’m not sure exactly how the hormone levels differ (if at all) but i know tons of women who have switched and swear by it. the biggest complaints aboutthe pill from these friends was the weight gain, moodiness, etc so maybe they have something there.

if you’d prefer trying to pull out method, start tracking your cycle more closely to see when you’re most likely to be ovulating. it’s a little bit of a pain in the ass, but a child is 18-years (PLUS) of pain in the ass.

when it’s around that time you can either choose to use an additional form of birth control for extra protection or lay low on the horizontal mambo. using both of these methods might not only add an additional layer of protection for you two, but would have both of you actively involved in the process, instead of relying on just one partner.

pragmatryst
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 12:33 pm: [report]

I highly recommend the Exersaucer. 

It’s great when you need to take care of something that requires your complete concentration but there’s no way you can do that while providing the constant supervision your young toddler needs.  The Exersaucer allows you to keep them close by and entertained yet completely safe at the same time.

frozenjuice
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 12:50 pm: [report]

The pulling out method is pretty risky, especially if you feel like you don’t want a baby right now.  Any kind of fluid coming out of the penis could contain semen, and though you aren’t going to become pregnant every time you have semen in you, know that if you rely on this method you are taking a chance.  I would definitely recommend discussing it with your doctor before you make your decision, that’s what they’re there for.

Colleen
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]

I, like you was kind of nervous about trying this method. I had a miscarriage in June and me and my partner weren’t sure if we wanted to try again right away. I did not want to go back on the pill because I just don’t think it is good for you and I didn’t like what it did to my body.

When it comes to pregnancy there really never is a “right” time. However if it’s something that wouldn’t be the end of the world if it happened I say go for the pull out method.

It’s now been almost 5 months using the pull out method and no pregnancy.

Chebs
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 01:24 pm: [report]

My fiance and I practiced that method after having issues with other birth control.  I’m due early December.  YMMV, of course, but as soon as I’m able, I’m going to start the arduous process of going through different bc’s again.

LG AK
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 01:30 pm: [report]

My ex and I used the pull-out for a long while as a second form of BC in addition to the pill, but once we stopped doing that the quality of sex became SO much better. I’m anti-pull-out if only because it just puts more unnecessary pressure where it’s not wanted.

QTKT
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 01:51 pm: [report]

A girlfriend of mine loves the ‘ring’. Although, it will most likely have the same effects as the pill when it comes to weight gain…

writergirl
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 02:35 pm: [report]

If you wait until you are totally ready to have a baby, you will never be ready.

That being said, I would never trust this method.  I got pregnant while on a drug that puts you into menopause.  So, to me no form of BC is safe.

majicksand
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 02:46 pm: [report]

I used the pull-out method successfully for years.  On the other hand, a friend of mine took the pill faithfully, and guess what?  Her TRIPLETS recently turned three.  There are no guarantees, so use what works for you.

One thing though.  Beyond the pregnancy risks, your husband may not care for the pull-out method as his orgasms won’t be as good.

impoddity
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 03:00 pm: [report]

If you’re going with the rhythm method, I heard a few years back that if a man bathes his gonads in water exceeding 100 degrees F, sperm production greatly decreases.  He has to do it everyday, since sperm is constantly being manufactured, but at least it provides a semi-sturdy safety net for any slip-ups that may occur.

On an aside, I know plenty of people in long-term, monogamous relationships that almost feel it’s a requirement to stop using birth control once the partnership is established.  Take a little perspective and think outside the box.  What might work for dozens of people ^^ may not work for you and your husband. 

The worst possible thing you could do is to bring a human into this world when you’re not mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially ready.  Dealing with, what are essentially, trivial hormonal side effects will be simple in comparison to the life-altering event of having the full responsibility a child.

bethlynn00
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 03:07 pm: [report]

Um, I said I personally never knew a couple that it was successful with.  Now I don’t know every couple in the world, so could it have been successful for others, sure, I just don;t know them.  But no birth control is 100% fool proof, that’s why you have women getting pregnant on the Pill and people getting STIs even when they use condoms, it’s all luck of the draw and proper use of whatever you use, because anyone can tell you that the only truly safe sex is abstinence, so anytime a man and woman have sex there is a risk of getting pregnant, whether with or without protection.  So it’s great that so many of you have had success or know someone who has, but the only people I know to have used it haven’t had that same success, that was my point.  I should point out that I have a friend who was on the Pill and they used condoms every time they had sex and she still got pregnant. Luck of the draw and proper use, that’s all it is.

secretstevie
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 03:51 pm: [report]

unless you want a baby right now the pull out method is nothing short of completely irresponsible.

i know how you feel about birth control, its such a huge burden for a woman to take on for sure what with the side effects and risks.  but why havent you considered a copper IUD?  i know you said you didnt want an IUD and i assume you mean a hormonal one because that would just cause the same side effects as birth control.  but a copper IUD is completely hormone free, just as effective and cheap, cheap, CHEAP.  without the monstrous boob growth and weight gain.  win.

hheeeeyyyy
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 03:53 pm: [report]

If you’re looking to ditch the hormones, in my opinion the copper IUD is the greatest thing ever invented.  It’s non-hormonal, so you don’t get the crazies, it doesn’t kill your sex drive, you don’t ever have to think about it (it’s good for 10 yrs!), and I’ve dropped about 20 lbs with zero effort since making the switch after 12 yrs on the pill.  LOVE IT.  I personally find the withdrawal method to be a little… anti-climactic, if you will.

joyy
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 04:03 pm: [report]

@hheeeyyyyy - they won’t let anyone who hasn’t had kiddos get the copper one (according to my NP at least)... but miraculously, the other one (that has hormones - Mirena) doesn’t circulate the hormones throughout your entire system like most hormonal contraceptives do, so they don’t typically give you the ‘crazies’ like other forms of hormonals would. After the patch, the ring, and the pill all drove me nuts I was skeptical, but my NP was SO right about this.

jenny9255
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 04:14 pm: [report]

my boyfriend and I use condoms during my ovulation time,  other then that, he pulls out..and its worked for 2 years. I mean the odd’s of getting pregnant aren’t that great if he pulls out, because you’re gona need a lot of sperm cells with lots of strong flagella to swim up against all odds and get you pregnant.

cooldad
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 04:20 pm: [report]

This is slightly off topic, but a typically selfish guy wonders whether pulling out is a drag for the guy because his most sensitive time is right after he comes and he naturally wants to keep the sensation going? 

On topic, accidental pregnancies are sooo easy for soo many reasons…cuidado

develange
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 04:24 pm: [report]

only used the pullout method with a boyfriend if I’m on the pill(and taking it religiously). I hate cum dripping out of my vagina. I may have relied solely on the pullout method once or twice, but I would never trust it.

TMI?

hheeeeyyyy
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 04:31 pm: [report]

@joyy, I’m baby free, so not sure why it is that some doctors enforce that religiously, whereas others, (including mine) never even question it.  The insertion is a little more uncomfortable for the un-babied, but otherwise there’s no difference.

joyy
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 04:37 pm: [report]

@hey - WTF I nearly growled and threw things across the room when my NP told me I couldn’t do the copper one (since I was very anti-hormone), but the other one worked out just fine so I guess I can’t complain too much.  Does the copper one come in two sizes also?  I know the smaller size of the Mirena *barely* fit, so there’s a chance that had something to do with her rec, but still, WTF!?

I can’t be TOO surprised though, since I’ve seen tons of people claim you can’t or shouldn’t get any IUD if you haven’t had kids.  thanks for teh info!

Felixx
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 04:52 pm: [report]

Wendy, I would not try pulling out as a method of birth control.  Sperm is in pre-come too, so just the act of sex itself risks pregnancy.

Kathls
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 05:01 pm: [report]

@joyy:  i also have a copper IUD and i’ve never had a child.  I’m 26, but can’t use hormonal bc pills or the hormonal iud b/c of another rx I take.  So my gyno might have made an exception for me.  It didn’t feel great being put in, but she said I handled the pain pretty well for never having a child.

I think it’s great!  I never have to think about it.  The first couple of months were a little difficult w/cramps, etc., but knowing the efficacy rate, made it worth it.  My only prolonged complaint is that my period is an extra day of spotting-ish, which is a bit of a bummer, but it’s a small price to pay for security.

I think it’s similarly hard to find a dr to tie your tubes if you’re under 30 (so i’ve heard).  If you’re gyno won’t do it, I would find a new one.  From the research I did before I got it, women who have them w/out a child aren’t a total anomaly.  Or maybe press a little harder to get it.

Good luck!

Crazy about my son's kayak instructor
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 05:10 pm: [report]

The stork brings the baby, and the swallow keeps it away…..

As Pretty Does
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 05:11 pm: [report]

I’ve heard researchers are on the brink of coming out with a new male birth control pill, maybe you should wait around for that and make your hubby deal with some of the unfavorable consequences instead!

I wouldn’t recommend the pull out method, not just because of the lack of effectiveness as others here have already pointed out, but also because it’s somehow so much less satisfying. Like chewing without swallowing, ha! Also, it’s messy :/

joyy
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 06:00 pm: [report]

@Kathls - interesting.  My NP kind of painted the picture of it being controversial for women sans kids because of the slight chance of infertility/it going through the uterine wall ... so I got the impression that I kind of lucked out getting her and not someone more ... conservative?  I don’t know.  All I know is that the other one turned out to be a really good choice for me (totally saved my sanity), so I’m psyched on that, but I wish my NP had tried to talk me into getting it earlier!

wonder_bread
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 06:06 pm: [report]

but I sort of feel like now that we’re married we shouldn’t even have to worry about birth control anymore” thats too funny. if thats how you feel then be prepared to have a baby if it happens its that simple. your friend that has been safe for years is the exception not the rule. birth control is mostly so you wont get preggers first std second. you save you dont want to have a baby then use birht control why risk it.is bein safe and responsible really that tough when you don’t even want a baby…good grief

dizzy
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 06:19 pm: [report]

Go for it if you don’t mind surprise babies.

melissaann
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 07:08 pm: [report]

Hasn’t anyone invented some sort of penis hole plug yet? Or maybe a hose that you attach to the ball sack and it routes the sperm to a handy drainage devise? I hate all the responsibility being on us ladies.

titsmagee
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 07:25 pm: [report]

I can’t believe more people haven’t talked about the pre-ejaculate. I’m with @Rokkor on this one. It can work if you are aware of your cycle, but there is also the chance that you can drop 2 eggs per month like women sometimes do (ever heard stories of women getting pregnant with 2 babies but they are a couple weeks apart? That’s a possible result of this phenomenon.) So there will always be a chance of getting pregnant. I would say to go with the IUD or try to find a different BC pill. I’ve been on a few different ones and I liked Yaz a lot. I’m on trisprintec now because it’s cheaper ($9 at Walmart) and hello, it’s a recession, y’all.

Naytive
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 07:35 pm: [report]

I haven’t looked through all the comments to see if this is a repeat…but have you tried an IUD?  I have the copper one (paragard) specifically because it is hormone free.  I think we gain weight on the pill because it can block our natural testosterone, which helps us keep our muscle mass.  It can also block sex drive (ironic, eh?).  I am a big believer in non-hormone birth control, and with the copper IUD , you don’t have to do anything except get it put in, then forget about it for up to 10 years.  Your cycles continue as usual, and your fertility returns after it’s removed. If you like minimized periods, the mirena IUD is available, although it is hormone based.  I think I read somewhere that the pull-out method has an 80% failure rate.  The IUD is 99.4% successful.

impoddity
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 07:39 pm: [report]

@joyy: I’ve read that a lot of GYNs aren’t too supportive of women without children getting IUDs, but my doc didn’t bat an eye when I asked him to do it.  My doc assured me that I would be able to have kids later on, if I ever want to (at this point, no). His only preference was that I get the 10-yr copper v. the 5-yr hormonal. Not gonna argue with that. 

It was an uncomfortable procedure, but like @kathls said, it’s worth the comfort of knowing it’s highly effective and lasts a decade.  And no hormonal side effects!  My doc said his patients experience depression, acne, etc just like with oral contras.

If my GYN had shown any reservations to inserting an IUD per my request, I definitely would have switched to another one. It’s a shame to have to suffer through hormonal BC when million of women worldwide use IUDs successfully.  Get with it America!

snap
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 09:15 pm: [report]

@ tits:  it is a myth that a woman can ovulate more than once in a given cycle.  you are confusing this with a woman releasing multiple eggs at the SAME TIME, which is entirely possible—it’s how fraternal twins are made!

as far as pre-ejaculate, no study has EVER found that pre-ejaculate contains sperm EXCEPT where a man has recently ejaculated and has not since urinated.

jeccabean
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 09:56 pm: [report]

My husband and I always used the pullout method along with the pill , and our son just turned 3. I hated the pill for many of the same reasons, but I have been in heaven since getting the Mirena IUD. I love never having to think about it and the added benefit of no monthly periods is awesome! I personally would never use the pullout method for BC, I have experienced the results.

DancerNinja
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:23 pm: [report]

Dude. NuvaRing.

I used NuvaRing while I was a judo competitor, and had to stay at a weight class. Not only did I NOT gain weight, but no more monthly migraines, less back pain and cramping, and I could use them for four weeks, back to back, if I was traveling or had a competition I really didn’t want to be on the rag for.

Sex was fine.

Infamous
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:55 pm: [report]

http://www.ditchthepill.org/

Unless you’re very very regular, and know your cycle very, very well, then maybe the rhythm + withdrawal methods aren’t best for you. Hormonal bc isn’t good for you (I’ve gone through all of them and my favorite was Mirena IUD - very low dose hormones), so maybe you ought to reconsider the traditional barrier methods (diaphragm or condoms) until you’re ready to be a mommy.

onewriter
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 01:18 am: [report]

@rokkor you are very correct.  After taking Anatomy and Physiology for a term, I’m flabbergasted at the comments on here. 

I’m so glad none of you have gotten pregnant using the pull out “method” but there are obviously other factors at work, such as you don’t get pregnant very easily or he has an extremely low sperm count.  There are about 200 million sperm cells released in the average man’s ejaculation.  Considering that ONE is all that is needed, and men do indeed “drool” before the actual climactic event..Russian Roulette is the game you are playing.

majicksand
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 08:22 am: [report]

@onewriter: I would never suggest that a couple use the pull-out method without considering the risk.  That said, my husband nor I have any fertility issues, and pulling out has worked for us.  Please don’t scare couples into thinking there may be a problem when they do try to conceive simply because pulling out couldn’t possibly work.  Maybe we’ve just been very, very lucky.  It does not mean there’s anything medically wrong.

onewriter
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 08:25 am: [report]

@majicksand “other factors” not necessarily being “medical” and you will notice that I did not say “medical.  I’m saying that is highly risky if all is well in the sex realm with both people.  And yes, you have been very very lucky.  I hope that continues for you

secretsquirrel
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 09:12 am: [report]

Wendy, you didn’t explain WHY you have rejected all other options.  Like a few other women on here, I have an IUD.  Mine is not copper, it’s the Mirena.  I get full on psychotic on hormonal pills but this IUD with hormones doesn’t faze me one bit.  Besides the bonus of not having to worry about birth control for years and the efficacy rate equal to tubal ligation, it can be removed and you can try to have babies almost immediately, plus (in the case of the Mirena), your period basically goes away or you have very limited spotting.  That right there is WOO-HOO!  My best bud had the copper IUD, but because she bled heavy to begin with, having it increase her period pushed her into anemia.  The other women on here seem to have no problems with the copper version though.  Either way, what are your objections to the IUD?

majicksand
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 09:56 am: [report]

@onewriter:  Actually, my husband and I are currently trying to conceive, so this is no longer a concern for us, but thanks for the good wishes anyway.  As to the “medical”, I just shortened what you said. 

“there are obviously other factors at work, such as you don’t get pregnant very easily or he has an extremely low sperm count”

I was only pointing out that this is not necessarily the case and could be terrifying to hear for someone who has been successfully practicing the pull-out method for years.  If I did not already have children, I might be afraid it was because I (or my husband) was unable and just didn’t know it yet.  That’s all.

qnzmami718
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 10:18 am: [report]

use a condom at first while you “perfect” the pull out method and once u think uve got it down.. stop using condoms.. or hey heres a better idea, i kno they suck & are mood killers sometimes, but just keep using condoms?

onewriter
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 10:48 am: [report]

@majicksand Medical, for me, is about scar tissue in uterus, f. tubes, or low sperm count etc.  Not conceiving right away could very well just be a slight hormone imbalance which isn’t necessarily anything to worry about.  A lot of times, just adding certain foods to your diet will fix the problem.  And I’m not talking about bull penis or any of the other funky weirdnesses.   One thing that wouldn’t hurt right away, is to NOT use a microwave to cook your food in.  (Not sure about defrosting)  It changes the molecular spin so that you lose almost all nutrients and protein becomes unrecognizable as food.  If you’re not getting the basic vitamins in your system, the reproductive system is the first to go.  Just saying…there’s tons of things about conceiving, and it’s way too bad that the bad parents or bad parents-to-be don’t have the problems, and the good parents-to-be can’t have it always easy.  Seems like it might balance out our natural selection again.  lol Anyway, keep doing what you’re doing.  It sounds like you’re right on top of it.  Have a great weekend too.  I’m off to a bowling tournament with my SO and won’t be back until Monday.

bogart4017
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 11:45 am: [report]

I never blinked at peoples names. After all i went to school with a Melody, a Harmony, and a Lyric. But that guy named Rhythm gets the old side-eye….

Rokkor
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 11:51 am: [report]

@onewriter: This is kind of off-topic, but the microwave thing’s a myth. So long as the food isn’t immersed in water, you’ll actually keep more vitamins and nutrients intact by microwaving than you would using a stove, because there’s a shorter heating time. Doesn’t taste as good, though…

carika
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 05:06 pm: [report]

Pulling out is risky; if you’d be secretly elated (him too), go for it.

A long time ago, I was on the pill for two years and hated it. Condoms- still hate them. But I wanted something secure, so I checked around and went for the cervical cap. Years later, I’m still happy with it. Last I checked, its actual effectiveness was about as good as the actual effectiveness of the pill in use. No hormones in your body, no need to wait if you decide you do want to have a baby soon- just stop using it. HUGE ADVANTAGES over a diaphragm- you can leave the cap in place for hours, put it in way ahead of time, have sex without having to dart away, have sex again without having to do anything more, etc. ALSO you can skip the spermicide, which I also hate. I used it religiously with the cap for a year, though, until a study found the pregnancy rate was actually slightly lower when the cap was used without it ( it was hypothesized that it might interfere a bit with the suction).

I get pregnant crazy-fast when I don’t use the cap. I have two kids, but have never gotten pregnant when using the cervical cap.

Incidentally, I once heard that withdrawal works best when the woman wants to get pregnant, and the man doesn’t want her to. Guess his motivation is pretty high then.

CondomElite
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 07:18 pm: [report]

We used a pullout for some time and we were fine. Just do not forget about side towels next to you

canadiancutie
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 07:18 pm: [report]

Any long-term, monogamous relationship I’ve had, I would use the pull-out method and I’ve never experienced an unwanted pregnancy.

TheLadyN
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 08:05 pm: [report]

My husband and I use the pull out method. We have yet to have an unwanted pregnancy. The important thing to remember is that sperm can survive 3 to 7 days in a man, not just the woman, after he ejaculates. Meaning, if you have sex and then have sex again before 7 days have passed there is a possibility that sperm will be in his pre-cum. So you could get pregnant then. However, if he’s willing to put a bit of a break (at least seven days to be safe) between his orgasms, sex and masturbating, I think the pull out method would work well for ya.

TheUnusualSuspect
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 08:32 pm: [report]

I have always considered it weird and unfair that women have to take a drug that alters their body chemistry in such a drastic way. For this reason, I would also not want to use a male contraceptive drug. Ok, condoms do detract some from the pleasure for the guy (I don’t know about the ladies), but to me, the pull-out method would be like saying: I want to have sex, but I don’t want to enjoy it as much. (But I’ve never actually tried it, so I can’t be sure.)

@bogart4017 I went to jr. high school with a guy named Jinglebob. Seriously. I was the new kid, so I never asked what was the story behind that name. Parents can be so cruel sometimes.

TheUnusualSuspect
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 08:40 pm: [report]

BTW, I’ve never been with a woman who was taking a contraceptive drug. So, not only do I consider it unfair that a woman would have to, I’ve never asked a woman to do so.

Also, the pull-out method says: I want to have sex, but I don’t want to enjoy it as much, AND I want to feel anxious about it before, during and after!

Red_Lady
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 08:55 pm: [report]

I actually very much enjoy taking the pill.  I was never able to tell when my period was going to start, as it varied from 3-6 weeks apart, but now I know exactly when it will start, and it’s much shorter.  I love it!! 
And I wouldn’t use the pull out method unless I was ok w/ getting pregnant - it just seems risky.

draymond
wrote on October 18 2009 @ 12:09 am: [report]

Are you thinking about all the onus that you are placing on the guy?  Now if you get pregnant it is all his fault for somehow not recognizing fast enough or not reacting fast enough or whatever.

I have never been an advocate of the pull out method because it is expecting him to do counter what his body naturally wants do do when climaxing.  And if he doesn’t time it really well he has to finish by jerking off.

It is aso woth pointing out that not all positions are as ammenable to pulling out.  If you like girl on top positions it will be the woman who has to be able to pull out before it is too late.

LilMissSunshine
wrote on October 18 2009 @ 12:17 am: [report]

Ok so just going by the title of the article alone here’s my $0.02.

My mother took it upon herself to educate all of my sister’s and my friends that the withdrawal method did not work. She would point to me and say, “If it worked we wouldn’t have her”.

Shosanna
wrote on October 18 2009 @ 10:28 am: [report]

Personally, I would never use the pull-out method, and as the first poster commented, you might as well just wish-upon-a-star than try this as your only method of birth control.  Have you asked your Gynecologist about changing your prescription?  There are several pills that are not known to cause weight gain.  One of these, I believe, is Yasmine, at least that is the anecdotal evidence I hear from my galpals as well as from my Pharmacy-major roommates. 

I also hate to bring this up, but is it possible your weight gain is not a result of the pill?  When I spoke to my Nurse Practitioner, she stated that most women who blame their weight gain on the pill are actually gaining weight from other factors.  Boob-“enhancement” might also be a result from increased weight gain. Of course, I’m saying this without knowing anything about your lifestyle, so I could be completely off-base about this.

prgirl
wrote on October 18 2009 @ 05:06 pm: [report]

@ riley and others:  The Sponge is back, baby!!!!
the sponge

GirlFromOz
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 12:54 am: [report]

I’m 20 and I’ve been mostly using the withdrawal with my boyfriend since I was 18, and no babies/abortions yet.  Yes, I know its risky, especially as I’m at a very fertile age, but we both hate using physical barriers (ie. condoms) and I don’t respond well to hormonal methods. We’re both exclusive and STI free, and have agreed that I’d get an abortion if I fell pregnant.

When I was 18-19 I tried a few different pills and it was terrible; I was a moody cow, my boobs got huge, I bled for weeks, etc. For the past year we’ve used the withdrawal method exclusively; we probably go at it 2-3 times per week. I’ve done quite a lot of research into all other contraceptive methods, and I’d have to say I’m really not keen on trying any of them, with the possible exception of the cervical cap.

In my experience I’d say give a go, but it can be a nervous wait/trip to the shops for a test if you’re period is late! And you really have to trust your guy’s judgement too. Best of luck, whatever you decide!

courtneylocke
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 09:08 am: [report]

I have one friend who tried the pull-out method with her husband.  They’re now the parents of a cute little boy.

sparklestar
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 10:51 am: [report]

I’ve been using it with my boyfriend for the last 18 months and I used it for the 18 months of relationship with my ex too.

We’re both fully clean for STD’s and have discussed what would happen if I got pregnant (we’d keep it).

I’ve had no problems ! He has to really know when he’s about to finish and pull out in time though.

slestie
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 01:32 pm: [report]

I have an Implanon and I love it.

I started out on the pill but that made me fat and cry a lot.

Then I used the Depo shot for awhile, which was great because I stopped getting my period and it’s so effective I didn’t really have to use condoms with my boyfriend because there’s no ovulation to worry about. But getting a shot in your ass every three months gets old really quick.

Then I switched to Implanon and I haven’t worried about it since. You change it out every three years, no period, no mood swings….

God I sound like a spokesperson for them, but really. I like it.

AlisonNoelle
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 01:37 pm: [report]

I wouldn’t recommend it at all. My youngest and my friends youngest are both babies from using the pull out method. I suggest Mirena.

SassyDaisy
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 01:49 pm: [report]

@lilmisssunshine: hahaha too funny thats what i say too. If it worked i wouldn’t have a 9yrs old boy right now…

wonderfultonight
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 01:53 pm: [report]

I think the pull-out method is very risky and would not use it. Also, my bf has said he wouldn’t get very much satisfaction from pulling out just as he is ready to cum. I wouldn’t feel right about it, either, since I enjoy the feeling of being really together at that moment. We use condoms - many of the thin ones are pretty close to ‘natuaral’- but it is worth it not to have the “coitus interruptus”- a real downer for both of us when we tried it. I was using the cervical cap at the time as well.

How do the guys really feel about this? It seems anti-climatic (forgive the pun)as well as somewhat frustrating for the man to use this method.

wonderfultonight
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 02:03 pm: [report]

@snap - there was an item in the news recently about a woman who is preganat with two babies who are NOT twins. Seems she did ovulate at two different times and both eggs were fertilized. A rare occurence, to be sure, but not a myth.

wonderfultonight
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 02:15 pm: [report]

Opps! meant to write pregnant - not *preganat* -sorry.

@draymond - you make a very good point that hasn’t been mentioned before. Some positions would depend on the gal and by the time she realizes it’s time to pull away, it will be too late.

MsCakey
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 02:35 pm: [report]

this little device is brilliant. Pricey, yes, but easy to use and incredibly effective/natural birth control. I used this thing for two years without worrying or getting knocked up.

Totally worth checking out for anyone who hates being on B/C and is in a committed relationship but not ready for babies.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000NOKX4Q?ie=UTF8&tag=wwwgalttechco-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000NOKX4Q

TheUnusualSuspect
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 09:21 pm: [report]

@wonderfultonight

How do the guys really feel about this? It seems anti-climatic (forgive the pun)as well as somewhat frustrating for the man to use this method.

I agree. It’s like I said earlier—It’s like saying I want to have sex, only I don’t want to enjoy it as much as I could.

_jsw_
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 09:41 pm: [report]

Y’all just commented how withdrawal was almost as effective as condom use just a few months ago. You might want to go back and read that article. Over the course of the year, if you’re an average couple, you stand an almost 1 in 5 chance of getting pregnant. Or, looked at a different way, you have an over 4 in 5 chance of not getting pregnant.

leafsfan68
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 10:20 am: [report]

My husband and I used this for about 7 years - successfully. The night my daughter was conceived, was the first time he didn’t pull out (intentionally - we had been talking about having a baby for a few months, had just bought our house, and we decided it was time.) Three weeks later I had a positive pregnancy test. That being said - I’d hardly want to risk it, if I wasn’t in the same sort of relationship we were - we were open to the idea of a baby, just weren’t totally ready, for it.

Elena
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 01:04 pm: [report]

@Wendy -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_family_planning

If you skip directly to the “Methods” sections, there are several methods you might want to consider. I personally know several couples for whom this method has literally worked for decades without a single hitch.

Sweet Cheeks
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 01:20 pm: [report]

@ GreenAura: I completely agree with you!!!

I have blown up on birth control in the past and have been birth control-free as a result since early 2003. When I got off is about the time me and my 1st serious boyfriend started using the withdraw method and we dated about 2 1/2 yrs after without the unwelcome pregnancy. THEY MUST KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING! It has been the same for my current boyfriend. After the 1st six months we didn’t use condoms and still don’t without a pregancy. (knock on wood!)

marykerry
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 02:31 pm: [report]

May I suggest Yaz? I’d been on Alesse for some time, starting when I was 17 because I had such serious death cramps. Then my insurance quit covering it so I switched to Yasmin. I didn’t do very well with this one, and ended up having surgery for Endometriosis. That helped some, but my doctor and I decided to try Yaz instead because it is not just 3 extra days of pills, it’s actually a different formula.
I’ve been happy ever since! I think I gained maybe 6 more pounds and my bra size went up a couple of cup sizes, but I am comfortable with both and have lost nearly all of the pms symptoms and cramping that go along with periods. And speaking of, my time of month is now only 2 and a half days. Cannot argue with that.
Oh and when I say nearly all symptoms, I mean still have the chocolate cravings!

Secret Story Time
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:22 pm: [report]

Pulling is not effective for birth control, but it is sometimes more convenient for the after-sex cleanup of ejaculate.  And it’s a lot of fun for the couple when the man cums on the women and both can see and enjoy the action.  Then there are many things than can be done with the ejaculated cum that are fun too.  Many women have become pregnant after the pulling-out method failed, as those clever, speedy little sperms are just dying to get to the egg!

Secretia Teller

C.Munro
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 04:45 pm: [report]

How do the guys really feel about this? It seems anti-climatic (forgive the pun)as well as somewhat frustrating for the man to use this method.

Pulling out sucks for a lot of reasons, but one thing it does have going for it is the sex itself feels better than using a condom.  That and the cost advantage are about the only positives I can think of to using withdrawl. 

On the down side, as I said before it can be difficult to time the event properly.  And if you think too much about that, it can delay or even prevent orgasm.  Even if you do get everything right, it’s not as satisfying as using a condom and not pulling out once you actually do climax.  The pressure of timing things right combined with the sudden loss of sensation can lead to disappointing Os.

lexi
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 05:07 pm: [report]

I tried this for the one month I was between birth control prescriptions.  I only had sex three times but that was all it took.  Pull out method was not my friend.

GudrunBrangwen
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 08:00 pm: [report]

Sheesh, why am I so late seeing this post?  Anyway, my boyfriend and I have been using withdrawal for the past six months, with great success.  We hate condoms, the sponge gave me hellish yeast infections, & I don’t want to deal with hormonal BC side effects.  We haven’t had any slipups, and I can see where the sperm goes, so I’d know if hadn’t pulled out in time (and I’d be able to take plan B if that happened).  It’s pretty much common sense that sperm is more likely to impregnate you if it goes in your vagina, less likely if it goes someplace else.  And now there’s a study confirming it’s effective, so all the more reason for people to stop bashing it as “irresponsible.”

I think your suggestion of practicing while you’re still on the pill is a good one—sometimes it takes guys a while to get the timing right.  Also, you mention that options like the IUD “don’t appeal” to you, but getting an IUD installed is a one-time thing, and then you can ignore it for years.  So even if you don’t love the idea, it should be a minor inconvenience.  (I mention it because that’s what I’m planning to do).

For those who keep insisting that there’s sperm in pre-come:  No there’s not.  This study—http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12286905—found that “most pre ejaculate samples did not contain any sperm and those that did had only small clumps of a very small amount of sperm which seemed to be immobile.”  Pre-come doesn’t exist to make you pregnant, but to clear out traces of acidic urine in the guy’s urethra that would kill the sperm when they do emerge.

GudrunBrangwen
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 08:09 pm: [report]

Also: a lot of commenters have pointed to kids that they or their friends have had as evidence that pulling out doesn’t work.  But I have two good friends in my graduate program—they have the same first name, even—who have told me they got pregnant while on the pill.  (One had an abortion, one miscarried.)  So by those anecdotal standards of evidence, the pill doesn’t work, and you might as well just wish upon a star.

QueenOfDiamonds
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 08:19 pm: [report]

I would agree that the pull out method does in fact work not only because its the method that works best for me & my boyfriend when we’re delved into the throngs of passion and get too caught up in the heat of the moment to actually put a condom on (in other words when we just want to get it on, hehe). I have never been on BC and wouldn’t know of any other alternatives but we have been successful and I think it’s due to not only the timing of when he pulls out but also the frequency of sex we have. Typically, when a man has sex (whether with us or by himself) more often that lessens the sperm count because his body will respond to the frequent ejaculation. Like I noticed that when we went a little while without it and he hadn’t masturbated that his “load” had more in it than did when we had just done it frequently. It’s also a woman’s way of telling whether or not your man is being faithful as well, especially if you know he hasn’t had the time to pleasure himself!

BombshellMomma
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 08:21 am: [report]

If you don’t think you’re ready for a baby, don’t try withdrawal. It’s how I got pregnant.

As a side note, though, you’re never ready for a baby. Trust me.

TheUnusualSuspect
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 04:49 pm: [report]

@QueenOfDiamonds

...when we’re delved into the throngs of passion and get too caught up in the heat of the moment to actually put a condom on

It seems like you’re saying that it ruins the mood to pause for a moment to put on a condom, so you choose instead to—and this is my wording, not yours—ruin the orgasm by pulling out before it happens. It seems to me that you can pay now (put on a condom) or pay later (pull out before orgasm, and possibly deal with all the consequences of not pulling out in time, in addition to what I would think would be a lessening of the enjoyment to have that anxiety hanging over my head (no pun intended)).

I just don’t get it, but if it works for you and you enjoy it, who am I to judge.

MuchoMacho
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 08:16 am: [report]

dear ladies,

im sorry that you have to subject yourself to the pill.  truly.  if there were a male pill, i would take it.  so would MILLIONS of other men.  billions maybe.

C.Munro
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 12:05 pm: [report]

I would certainly take birth-control pills were they available to me, but I’d want whomever I’m with to continue taking hers as well.

Tofuti Klein
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 02:07 pm: [report]

My fiance and I have used the ‘pull out’ method for years. BTW, neither one of us are parents. He knows what he’s doing and he’s never tried any funny business with it either. It works great for us. I wouldn’t consider BC anytime soon unless of course there’s that ONE occassion that it didn’t prove effective. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to give it a shot, since you’ve seriously considered it.

CinfulySwt
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 03:02 pm: [report]

it is ALL about the guy, trust me!  one of my boyfriends and i used the method for years with 100% no issues.  however, another ex of mine isn’t so good at the method.  the real problem is:  he may not know if he’s bad at it.  if you’re really not ready, don’t try it, trust me.

lani13
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 05:41 pm: [report]

i would go with getting an IUD.  that way, if you want his fluids in you without the risk of getting preggers, you don’t have to worry about the stork, so to speak. 

unless he can practice while masturbate and having sex, get an implant

SatomiRoberts
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 09:02 pm: [report]

hahahaha, both me and my bf HATE the pull-out method. We’ve done it when we’ve had to ((when i’m on my period and he’s agitated with the condom)). And it’s worked when we have used it. But I can see why your husband doesnt seem enthusiatic about it. It makes the orgasm for him better. And to be honest, I get annoyed sometimes when he pulls out when i AM on bc ((which would be the nuvaring by the by, and i LOVE it. no daily pills for me~!)) for no reason. To me, it just seems to make sex less fun and intimate.

It all really depends on how you view it. You can gve it a try while youre still on bc to even see if you like it AND if his timing is right and then deicde to not get more bc. either way, good luck!

TerryLove
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 01:10 am: [report]

Addressing you disliking the side effects of the pill: If you have already talked to your obgyn and this seems to be the best oral option then maybe another option should be looked at.  I recently changed from the pill to the Nuva RIng because of how much i HATED my pill. My birth control serves two purposes. Contraception and to attempt to maintain the number of migraines i have, so the nuva ring is FAMAZING!!
the hormones are different hats why i think it may apply to you and your weight gain. some pills have estrogen and some have progesterone.  the ring gives a really low dose of both to you. the dose is constantly given into your blood stream. and since you wear it, you don’t have to remember every morning. yahooo!! 

and personally, i wear three back to back so that i have my period every 9 weeks! the sum up this maybe over personal account of my birth control I LOVE THE NUVA RING!!!! at least talk to you doc about it. hope i helped!

Black Iris
wrote on October 25 2009 @ 12:44 pm: [report]

Wendy, getting pregnant makes you fat.  It makes your breasts grow and change shape.  You will have 10 more pounds you can’t quite get rid of plus a baby to take care of.

Save the withdrawal method for fellatio.

For more comments and advice, including some young women who have babies from the pull-out method:
http://www.yourtango.com/200940919/should-you-try-pull-out-method?page=0,0

Black Iris
wrote on October 25 2009 @ 12:46 pm: [report]

A question for the people who say they have used the withdrawal method without problems:

Are you sure the two of you are fertile?  Have you ever had a baby or gotten pregnant?  Did you have sex at the right time of the month?

Secret Story Time
wrote on October 25 2009 @ 01:42 pm: [report]

How to the MEN like pulling out?  What do They really want to do?  If they have to pull out, where do they want to cum?

Let’s here it, you guys!

Secretia

TheUnusualSuspect
wrote on October 25 2009 @ 04:08 pm: [report]

$Secret Story Time

How to the MEN like pulling out?  What do They really want to do?

What I want to do is lose myself in the moment, especially THAT particular moment. I want to feel like nothing else matters. No—it’s more than that—I want to not even be aware that there is anything else that does or doesn’t matter. I want to feel like there is nothing else except this woman. I think it would detract from the experience to maintain vigilance, to beware of the coming orgasm. That really wasn’t intended as a pun—it just ‘came out’ that way! (I’ll be here all week, folks!)

It isn’t all about the orgasm, hers or mine. The entire experience is a beautiful thing. Afterwards is a wonderful bonding time. But I don’t want to have to keep reading roadsigns that tell me there is danger ahead. Like I said in an earlier comment, using the pull-out method is like saying: “I want to have sex, I just don’t want to enjoy it as much as I could.”

Some people say that using a condom is a distraction, that it breaks the mood. It doesn’t have to be that way. It doesn’t have to be soemthing apart from the experience, something that interrupts the experience. How can you do this? By deliberately making it part of the experience: The guy can ask her to put it on him. If she doesn’t know how, show her. Make it part of the game! Have fun with it!

majicksand
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 09:16 am: [report]

@Black Iris:  No fertility problems here.  My husband and I already have children.  We also don’t watch the calendar or concern ourselves with which days of the month pulling-out is “safe”.

@Secret Story Time: Pulling-out doesn’t feel as good for either person.  It’s a sacrifice just like all birth control methods.

sparklestar
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 09:23 am: [report]

No fertility issues here either. Pulling out isn’t great if it’s on that crucial moment but neither is a condom!

I’ll go with the natural feel any day.

aquamarine
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:24 pm: [report]

@TerryLove: the NuvaRing does not deliver hormones that are different than those in a typical combined birth control pill.  The majority of birth control pills contain both an estrogen and progesterone derivative; there are a minority of progestin-only pills, progestin-only releasing devices (namely Mirena) and the progestin-only shot, Depo.

NuvaRing delivers the same daily dose of estrogen and progestin as a low-dose hormonal birth control pill.  The difference in delivery is that oral contraceptives have a peak concentration in the bloodstream after digestion, and like you said, NuvaRing continuously delivers hormones into the bloodstream, eliminating that peak.  I’m glad the NuvaRing is working for you, but it’s not all that different than traditional methods, speaking in terms of chemical composition.

ann1016
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 04:18 pm: [report]

My husband and I have been using the pull out method for years. It has worked for us.

Bertram
wrote on November 2 2009 @ 09:37 am: [report]

We just had to address this topic after having our first child (planned) in August. My wife said the pill was out as she is breast feeding (Dr. said it would be fine but why risk it) and no IUD as it can make getting pregnant again possibly more challenging. After having a kid you realize that it really can happen, so BC has taken a front row seat in our bedroom. We settled on condoms for now. My wife is fine with it, but ‘pull and pray’ is what she first suggested. In past LT relationships I have had plenty of success with pulling out, but with some catches. We have always gotten her cycle down pat and either used condoms or oral during ovulation. Also we made the pull out moment part of the act (for lack of a better way of saying it), so it wasn’t now I go sit on the side of the bed and finish in a towel or some other mood killer. As others have suggested practice while you are still on the pill and get to know your cycle when your body settles back to normal.

As far as how is it as a guy? If you know your timing it isn’t bad at all. BUT like I said a guy does need some sort of stimulation to cross the finish line and you just need to incorporate that into your sex…oral, helping hand, chest, you get the idea. Guy or girl wouldn’t like it if right before the big O your partner said,‘okay now go over there and finish this yourself’. Talk about a mood killer.

You are married, both have jobs, old enough, and would like kids at some point. Getting pregnant wouldn’t be worst thing that could happen. Also, for us, getting pregnant was WAY harder than they make it sound in sex ed…a lot more things have to go right than just not wearing a condom.

vanya
wrote on November 2 2009 @ 09:58 am: [report]

Why not buy (or borrow a copy - most libraries have one) of “Taking Charge Of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler and use the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM)?

FAM combines both the Billings Method (observing primary and secondary fertility signs) and the “rhythm” method (just counting cycle days) for a far more effective contraception method over either method alone.

Plus, it has the added benefit that should you decide to try to conceive, you would already aware of your most fertile time of the month.

http://www.tcoyf.com, if you’re so inclined.

EastCoastMale
wrote on November 2 2009 @ 10:00 am: [report]

As a male I have tried both. My previous LTR and I started out using both the pill and a condom, then just the condom, both of which were equally lacking in sensation for the both of us. We then switched to the pull out method about a year in and used that with no problems for the remaining 5 years. Such a substantial difference and we had not regrets or issues whatsoever. I have gotten into many a heated argument on the topic of condom use irrespective of the pill so I am glad that our individual situation worked out the way it did.

purplerose
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 06:11 pm: [report]

it totally works.
Been using this method for the past year and it works!

Rivermeetsanend
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 07:41 pm: [report]

The Withdrawal Method is all about timing. As long as your bf, husband, etc. is confident in his ability to pull out before ejaculation, then it is nearly impossible to get pregnant. Pre-seminal fluid does NOT contain viable sperm, despite what many people think. It is produced by the cowper’s gland, not the testes. The ONLY instance where pre-seminal fluid can contain traces of sperm (minute amounts) is when a man has ejaculated and not urinated to clear the urethra before having sex again. That is why, when using this method, it is a good idea for a man to urinate in between “sessions” if you plan on having sex multiple times in one night. Overall, I would say the Withdrawal Method is trustworthy, if you trust in your partner’s control.