Poll: Would Your Relationship Suffer If He Lost His Job?

Lynn
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 11:49 am: [report]

Neither of us rely on the other for financial support at all, so it wouldn’t hurt us that way. But the stress of him losing his job, or me losing mine, would make us suffer for sure. I’m not saying we’d break up, but when one person is that tense and stressed out, it’s not good for the relationship!

Wendy Atterberry
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 11:52 am: [report]

Just to be clear, I didn’t feel trapped because I made “no money.” I made money and I paid half the rent and bills. I just couldn’t afford to live on my own or pay for all the little luxuries like cable, dining out and vacations by myself.

I wasn’t a kept woman by any means. I was just a spoiled one.

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 11:54 am: [report]

Agreed, even if there isnt a dependency on the other person financially, the stress of losing a job affects not only that person but in turn will obvioulsy weigh on the relationship. If there IS a dependency then the stress is amplified, relationship feels the strain and it will probably have an increased sense of urgency.

crmsnkatt
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 12:02 pm: [report]

To be perfectly honest, yes. My boyfriend makes good money, but we maintain separate households. While he’s got a bit saved up, if he lost his job, he’d probably burn through the savings in few weeks.

There’s no way that I can afford to pay for both our households, and I cannot stay with a man who’s lazy and unambitious (my ex-husband quit his job without telling me, then took a job making so little money that we constantly went into the negative in our accoutn).

This might make me sound like a materialistic bitch, but I need a PARTNER, not another child.

joyy
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 12:04 pm: [report]

I agree that the stress, not the money, is what affects the relationship the most.  My bf quit a co. that was jerking him around in May to hang out his own shingle, and it was interesting, to say the least.  I offered to take on as many of the bills as I could (all but the mortgage), and he only took me up on part of that offer. 

The stress came from him being around all the time without anything to do.  He would say things like “You never notice the little things I do around the house” when I was oblivious to the landscaping he had done (which looks really nice, actually).  I felt like I had a wife

ohthatlaura
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 12:36 pm: [report]

My boyfriend and I had a VERY long conversation about this just the other night. We’re here in NYC where the financial market has been shedding jobs left and right. (Knock on wood,) I am relatively safe at the moment but he might be in trouble.

Over the course of the conversation I made it clear that I love him and I’m with him not for his financial success (we split everything down the middle). If he lost his job our relationship wouldn’t suffer, but surely all the luxuries would have to go. It would be a true test for us, one that I’m hoping not to have to go through but am willing to take on.

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 01:39 pm: [report]

@ Joyy
I can definitely see where having someone around all the time who isnt working would play a part. They may say you dont pay enough attention or want to go out enough, after all youve worked all day and are just now getting home, why wouldnt you want to party? lol Did it sound a bit ridiculous when he said “you dont notice the little things”?....just for my own curiousity

@ohthat
I think that is the way that a majority of couples probably feel. Its not that they are with the person for the money and luxuries very well may suffer, at some point I believe the luxuries arent even thought of anymore and the stress it has put on the relationship would be fron and center. Thats just my opinion of course and this wouldnt be an over night transformation but at some point I think it would edge over towards such.

joyy
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 02:01 pm: [report]

@East - yeah, it did sound ridiculous, but a lot of what comes out of my mouth is said purely for my own amusement I even joked with him that he was like a housewife (he’s also the neatfreak in the relationship). 

His biz picked up within a few months so it was all good ... but he’s a consultant and while business has been good lately, clients don’t want to shell out to have him travel across the country to work on site.  I like having around more than having him gone, but we’re definitely still in “I worked from home all day, I want to go somewhere” vs. “I was at work all day, I just want to chill” scheduling difficulties.

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 03:54 pm: [report]

Yea I could see that being a slight conflict. Oh and when I was asking about the ridiculous part, I meant did it sound ridiculous hearing him say that to you, because in all honesty, sometimes…I find that same saying coming from some women to be a little overused. Not anyone posting here and not that Im saying all women by any means but some things are worth noticing, some take extra effort but if all things arent noticed all the time, hearing someone say that can get a bit trying.

MarriedWhiteMale
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 04:10 pm: [report]

I can speak first hand that my Wife and my relationship is suffering due to my unemployment.  She’s in education, and I was working in Real Estate Development making three times what she makes.  My last bonus was half of her yearly salary!  I was laid off nine months ago along with six others on an 800 million dollar project and have been looking ever since.  It’s hard to be productive and contribute to a household then have it removed in an instant. I still am productive, cooking and cleaning, whatever else I can to to ease the stress . . . but!

joyy
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 04:18 pm: [report]

@ East - oh ok, and yeah, definitely.  He doesn’t notice (or mention, at least) when I get my hair cut or when I do little stuff - and I usually don’t care, I just ask what he thinks if I feel like getting some attention for something.  So for him to pull that with me, when I could *easily* do it to him fairly often but avoid doing so because it seems childish and attention-seeking, did seem a little ridiculous.  However, aside from my passion and talent for cooking and the discrepency in our incomes, so little about our relationship reflects “traditional” family/gender roles that it was really pretty cute for my tall strong bf to pull a naggy-housewife moment on me. 

Plus, our yard looks great!