Pointless Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
relationships
9:00AM, Friday November 6th 2009
BuzzFeed today has a link to a list called “Fun Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend,” or, as Peggy Wang from BuzzFeed describes it: “Fun for the kind of couples who like to tie each other up and waterboard torture each other as foreplay.” I’m guessing the original list was intended for young teens or couples who both suffer from brain damage or who never even developed the social skills of a Hummer. “Do not be intimidated about the men’s presence,” the list’s author advises. “You have to ask such questions to know more about your date or your boyfriend. Asking never hurt. Knowing the truth about them helps; so we ask. These questions indirectly can help us knowing every detail we need to know about men.” After the jump, a few of the more choice questions of the list and how I imagine Tom Cruise may have answered if Katie Holmes had asked him any of these when they were “getting to know each other.”
14) Would you like me to wear all the time mini skirt or to have a generous neck opening?
I always look for a generous neck opening in a woman. Yours is amazing.
16) When will you declare your eternal love for me?
On Oprah’s couch next week.
18) Do you have the patience to come with me when I’m buying a dress?
I insist on it.
22) What would you do if a bear came up to you and we were together in the forest?
How big is his boyfriend?
27) What kind of horses would you like riding?
Big, muscular male ones with long, wild manes.
33) Would you like to have a bath with me with pink and yellow rose petals?
It’s the only way I bathe.
35) Would you like to make love to me on the carpet, in front of a fireplace?
Can we invite the bear?
37) Can you tell me in a few seconds what is a brick useful for?
To boost my height when we stand next to each other for photos.
42) Do you consider yourself a happy person because you’ve met me?
It’s been amazing.
44) Would you like to imagine that I am a black panther and you are a poor hunter?
Can I be a tall poor hunter?
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
lea322
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 10:04 am: [report]
English is clearly not the first language of whoever wrote this!
lea322
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 10:06 am: [report]
*The original questions…not Wendy’s article!
Rose
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 10:20 am: [report]
And I thought I asked some weird questions to get to know people….
Anniushka
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 10:21 am: [report]
Oh my God. This is hilarious in a depressing—like, oh-God-someone-thought-it-was-a-good-idea-to-write-this—way.
Um… nothing. I would assume the correct answer is “do nothing.” Seriously?
Try a Golden Retriever.
I’m a little disappointed that the good ol’ tail question isn’t on here. You know—if you had a tail, what animal’s tail would you choose? I’d totally have a squirrel tail.
ohhfoggylullaby
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 10:34 am: [report]
I second the squirrel tail!
Also, number 22 just made me laugh loudly in the library. Too funny.
C.Munro
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 10:35 am: [report]
My response to Wendy’s answer to 22 forcefully ejected my morning tea from my nose. Nice going.
Shosanna
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 11:08 am: [report]
These are the most moronic questions I have ever heard in my life
Hmmm…WTF?
Queen Frostine
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 11:23 am: [report]
Does anyone know how to get soup out of your keyboard? Yeah, that’s what just happened. I didn’t even make it to the bottom of the list yet.
retro chic
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 11:28 am: [report]
queen, try uncooked rice… supposedly works on submerged cellphones. Might improve the soup too.
bogart4017
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 11:30 am: [report]
...and now that you have your answers may i get back to my football game?
Queen Frostine
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 11:34 am: [report]
I can only imagine a guy being down at the bottom of a well in some darkly lit basement, while some psycho chick sits above asking him if he can imagine “making love to her while eating strawberries and grapes?” then spraying him with a hose if he answers wrong.
ciarabug
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 12:03 pm: [report]
where do you find these articles?! XD
seygra20
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 03:22 pm: [report]
this is stupid seriously? who came up with these
sarahprotzman
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 03:27 pm: [report]
Wow, this is bad.
cattgirl813
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 03:34 pm: [report]
Asking your boyfriend these questions will help you answer one question: How many inane questions does it take to send your boyfriend running from the room screaming?
bumbler
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 03:41 pm: [report]
@cattgirl813 exactly right. At the tail end of a long drunken night, watching an early morning kid’s show where the host was asking the kids to describe what animal their friend would be and why I turned to my then boyfriend and asked what animal I would be. The answer: “One of those owls like Harry Potter has, because you’re white.” I love that man to death but imagination is not his strong suit. God knows how hard he would start sweating if there were follow up questions.
majicksand
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 04:50 pm: [report]
I’ve got one.
If our plane crashed in the mountains, and I died, would you eat my corpse to survive?
I think I’ll ask my husband that one while we’re in bed tonight just to watch his head spin.
draymond
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 06:15 pm: [report]
These questions sound like they were written by someone rejected from the Cosmo relationship test writing staff.
Alli
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 06:38 pm: [report]
My favorite part by far:
“Oops! That is not fun anymore! You should never ask your boyfriend a question related to marriage”
Of course, why would you ever think to do that!
Red_Lady
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 06:46 pm: [report]
I love that this comes from buzzle.com: Intelligent Life on the Web and does not seem intelligent at all. I can totally see Katie & Tom doing this, though, good call Wendy!
SouthOC
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 10:43 am: [report]
Reading through the original list, I kept thinking “most of these questions are traps.” Also known as fight starters...