OMG, Women Do The Craziest Things on Facebook!
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
relationships
8:00AM, Tuesday June 9th 2009
Facebook is a lot of things: a social network, a mega time-suck, and, according to Ask Men, a breeding ground for women’s craziness. Oh yes, women do crazy, crazy things on Facebook, and we’re not talking about reconnecting with old flames or friending their bosses, either. No, the kind of craziness Ask Men accuses us of is more of the “vindictive,” “manipulative” variety — like, get this, posting pictures that are “more sexy, more adventurous and altogether more exciting than she is in real life.” OMG, CRAZY!! I mean, only a woman would do something so off-the-chart insane! After the jump, 5 completely crazy things Ask Men says women do on Facebook.
1. Women set up fake profiles to follow exes on Facebook
This one may seem a bit extreme, but it is certainly not unheard-of for a woman to set up a fake Facebook persona in order to creep on her ex’s profile. At the very least, she might get a mutual friend to allow her a little access to an ex’s Facebook page. Whether you broke up badly or it was mostly mutual, if you don’t keep in touch, she probably wants to know what you’re up to. Instead of calling or e-mailing you, it’s easier and less embarrassing to scope out your profile while you are blissfully unaware that she is checking up on you.
Yeah, it seems a little crazy to create a fake Facebook page for an ex’s benefit, but the rationale behind it is even crazier: “she probably wants to know what you’re up to”! Oh, no, not that! Why, that’s INSANE. Who ever heard of such a thing? Honestly, if things ended mutually, and old-fashioned curiosity were the only reason a woman wanted access to an ex’s profile, I doubt she’d go to the trouble of creating a fake profile. But if things ended badly and she has more than a passing curiosity in her ex, well, then, that’s a different story…
2. Women manipulate through Facebook photos
Another crazy thing women do on Facebook is to put up embarrassing or compromising photos of people that have gotten on her bad side. When a guy breaks up with a girl and the next day photos of him in one of her dresses hit her profile, it’s not only vindictive, but also pretty immature.
Okay, so a guy dons his girlfriend dress, no big deal. She posts a picture of him in said dress on Facebook and she’s the crazy one? Ohhhkay.
3. Women post passive-aggressive Facebook status updates
Whether it’s because she hates confrontation or she just wants the world to know what a jerk her boyfriend is, some women use their status updates to air complaints about their relationship instead of sitting down and talking it out directly. For example: “Valerie visited the jewelery store and is tired of waiting!!!!” could be a not-so-subtle clue that she doesn’t want to wait for that engagement ring much longer. Post-breakup, a woman might post status updates that hint at a crazy social life: “Melanie is exhausted from a crazy night!” or “Jessica is having a great day,” are both the types of messages that say a lot more when they come right after a big breakup.
Wow, I didn’t know it had come to this! Women are writing things like “having a nice day” in the status update?!?! Holy crap, THAT’S INSANE, people! Why, I’ve never heard of anything so crazy. That must have been one hell of a terrible breakup if she’s writing status updates like that. Her poor, poor ex!
4. Women post ambiguous relationship photos
It’s not uncommon to see pictures of women with their arms around their friends, kissing them on the cheek, whether their friends are men or women. For some, these may be innocuous expressions of affection for their good friends, but for others they could be an attempt to elicit an envious response from their partners. These ambiguous photos with other guys could also cause other people to question the strength of her relationship with her boyfriend. If it’s a single girl posting pics of her getting close to guys without making it clear whether or not they are dating, it can throw people off when they are thinking about making a move, causing them to be unsure of whether or not she’s already taken.
You hear that, ladies? If you are posting photos of you acting affectionate with anyone other than your significant other, you better make sure everyone understands that: a) your relationship is strong, despite photographic evidence to the contrary, or b) you are very much single despite what it may look like in your photos and you welcome a “move” by anyone on Facebook. To suggest otherwise is just plain crazy.
5. Posting a fake relationship status
Some unattached women choose “in a relationship” for their profile just so people won’t start matchmaking or single-girl-pitying. A single woman of a certain age is a prime target for people who think everyone should be paired off in “happily ever after” relationships. Some single women even arrange with one of their close girlfriends to be each other’s “in a relationship with” person to avoid this kind of condescending sympathy.
A woman trying to avoid condescending sympathy or preserving a bit of her privacy online? Why, who ever heard of such crazy behavior? Next you’ll be telling me that women find pantyhose uncomfortable, What is this world coming to??
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Perceptible
wrote on June 9 2009 @ 08:17 am: [report]
Ha ha ha. Nicely observed and commented. But seriously, we can’t really expect men to understand these subtleties can we? (Apologies to all the male frisky readers, I’m stereotyping, as is the original article.)
Squidtermz
wrote on June 9 2009 @ 08:19 am: [report]
It’s funny that original article was written by a women. hmmm.
Mainer
wrote on June 9 2009 @ 08:28 am: [report]
Men do this stuff too. We may not make up a relationship status, but we stalk our ex’s. We also post pictures of us with other girls when possible to make them jealous. It’s our way of subtly showing you we’re moved on and are doing just fine, even if we’re not. And we check up on you to find out the same. I’m pretty sure my ex has either blocked me from seeing certain pictures or she has become a nun, because not a whole lot is happening on those daily “check ups” I do. So she’s either doing great and doens’t want me to know or she’s hopelessly bored without me. I’d like to think the latter, but it’s most likely the former.
joyy
wrote on June 9 2009 @ 08:54 am: [report]
I wouldn’t say any of this is like, off the charts/get a restraining order crazy by any means, but I see girls do this stuff all the time and it annoys the crap out of me too.
Back before FB, I was on lj, and my (now) ex complained about it since all his friends’ gfs created so much drama by what they put out there. Same effing thing. If you’re a drama queen, you’re going to use whatever medium du jour you’re into to express that.
As for TRULY crazy things, how about setting up a page for your bf to see if exes drop him a line? I know a girl who did that. The internet doesn’t make people crazy, it just publicizes the crazy.
moriah
wrote on June 9 2009 @ 08:58 am: [report]
LJ was the og dramz! I sorta miss it.
Chico B
wrote on June 9 2009 @ 12:39 pm: [report]
Joyy is right. It’s not the medium, it’s the person.
None of those things seem over the top, just kind of petty. I’ve had exes pull all of these stunts, and all it ever did was convince me that yes, I made the right choice. And when I’ve caught myself doing some of these things (not on Facebook, but elsewhere), it’s a sign that maybe it’s time to move on.
sam04
wrote on June 9 2009 @ 01:20 pm: [report]
I hate when people use their status updates to air their dirty laundry. It’s always the drama queens in the bunch that have a paragraph for a status update whining on and on about their relationship.
EastCoastMale
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 06:33 am: [report]
I would say that just because it seems like more and more people stalk exes through online means doesn’t mean that it is acceptable. To me, making up a fake profile to stalk or friend an ex is borderline crazy, there is no rational explanation to justify it in my opinion. I thought an ex was just that; an ex. Why would someone try even harder to keep tabs on them or make them jealous after they are broken up. All the other items on the list are just petty, game playing behavior in my book and anyone that does these things on a regular basis needs to mature a bit.
EastCoastMale
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 06:36 am: [report]
@Mainer
I would have to disagree, at least from my personal experience, I have never stalked an ex. Posting pictures with other women in an attempt to make an ex jealous if they see it? The ironic part to me is that someone would post photos with the opposite sex to prove that they have moved on but in actuality they are posting photos for other purposes and setting up fake profiles. It doesn’t sound like anyone has moved on. As always, this is only my opinion and I am sure some people may do such things and see nothing wrong with it, just putting in my two cents.
missduplicity
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 08:02 am: [report]
Ha. I must be insane. I am the queen of passive-aggressive facebook statuses.
If I could only count the times my husband has come to me with that “I’m sorry” look on his face and said, “So, I saw your status on facebook was set to Death Cab lyrics again….”
EastCoastMale
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 08:04 am: [report]
ah I see
Riley
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 08:12 am: [report]
Oh man, that should have made the list - I loathe those(both men and women do it)that feel the need to constantly update their status with lame pop rock or emotive songs. Originality, where did you go?
missduplicity
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 10:39 am: [report]
@Riley -
Out the window when we had kids. Perhaps if I had a little more time in between scraping applesauce out of my hair and dancing along to music from “The Backyardigans,” I could come up with something more creative. But if it makes your oh-so-indie sentiments feel a little better, sometimes I also quote Flaubert?
*eyeroll*
Mainer
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 02:24 pm: [report]
@ ECM - these are games everyone plays, it is natural human behavior. The only difference is how it is done. Pre-Social Network Craze, we’d do the same things only in public. We’d ask mutual friends how our ex is doing, who’s she seeing, is she sad, moved on, hates me, what? We also play games to make the other jealous (i.e. seeing them in public we ignore them or act like we’re doing great without them).
With FB, we do these same things. We just do them in the form of status updates, picture posting, and profile checking. I would say it hardly qualifies as “stalking” (though I did use that word earlier, which I take back). It’s not unhealth, it’s a natural progression of ending a relationship with someone you care about. Once you love someone, you still want to stay in their lives, you do have a general care for their well being. And part of that checking up is to make sure they are with someone who is going to treat them right - we turn into their father.
That was the point I was making. Granted, some of these extremes (i.e. setting up fake profiles or checking their status to see where they’ll be and following them there) is just crazy, especially if she blocked you or de-friended you. Then it’s time to get a clue. But passive checking up or little mind-games are harmless.
duckie
wrote on June 11 2009 @ 08:37 am: [report]
Hey a woman did write this- for ask men- is she trying to make men paranoid about women’s behavior? Agreed that stalking is creepy (especially when taken to extremes) and some counciling is most likely in order, but seriously since when does a picture of you and your friends hugging/kissing suddenly have a butt-load of hidden meaning? One other quick thing- I don’t really know about women posting “embarrassing” photos of their exes, but I have had a few girl friends who’s exes put up nude/ semi-nude photos of them on sites designed for getting revenge on ex gfs
EastCoastMale
wrote on June 11 2009 @ 09:53 am: [report]
@duckie, that last part just sounds like childish dbag behaviour.
@Mainer
The only part that I was meaning to say was weird was the creating fake profiles to stalk an ex or see if they respond or constantly googling them. I meant, for me personally, I don’t see any point in checking up on exes, asking who they are with and such. To me an ex is an ex and there is no need to create a profile or drop questions to know that. I would only categorize the setting up of a fake profile portion as stalking; the whole status updates and picture posting is just not my cup of tea I suppose.
Where I definitely part ways is, even with someone I have loved or care about, once a relationship is over I don’t really have a feeling of wanting to know who they end up with or move on to. For those who want to play mind games I say more power to them but that definitely falls under the broad heading of drama for me and I personally don’t have a need for it. Not meaning to knock those who engage is making sure their ex is ok, just saying for me personally.
lirael182
wrote on June 11 2009 @ 02:50 pm: [report]
I keep my relationship status as ‘engaged’ to my best friend. It’s partly an inside joke, but it keeps my private life private from some of my Facebook friends. It also allows me to deffer defining what I have going with someone as a ‘relationship,’ as I’d prefer to let things just happen. I’m sorry if people find my lighthearted engagement confusing. And if someone is looking to make a move, they should already know me enough to know what that photo of me on some random guy’s lap, etc means.
littlemissr19
wrote on June 11 2009 @ 03:41 pm: [report]
Okay, for the most part i agree with the article, but the passive-aggressive statuses are WAY too common, whether targeting a partner, ex, friend or family member. I see them all the time. Maybe the examples are ridiculous, but the actuality is even worse. And to post some like “Amy is sick and tired of spoiled brats who think the world revolves around them and ignore the feelings of others” is kind of crazy. It doesn’t matter how angry you are, it’s rude and, honestly, insane to post private arguements on a public forum.
hellosunrise
wrote on June 14 2009 @ 04:02 pm: [report]
haha. wow. my sister has to be the QUEEN of all of this behavior. after she broke up with her boyfriend, she was STILL checking his profile almost a year later. when her and her best friend were arguing, later on she posts pictures of her lighting photos with her on fire. not to mention the time when she thought i had an abortion, she posted bulletins about how she doesnt agree with abortions and blah blah blah and deleted me from her friends list. and it hasnt just been these instances. she happens to do this type of stuff frequently. although she is quite young, almost 17, she still has quite a bit of growing up to do obviously.
LindseyLu83
wrote on June 14 2009 @ 04:52 pm: [report]
I think something happens in a girls mind when she falls for a guy. She loses a little part of her brain. It kind of just seeps out while the new guy creeps in. I remember my first love and how we would break up once a week in that last year. When we were broken up I would drive by his house to see if he was home. If he wasn’t it was obviously because he was with another girl. Now we have facebook and it is CRAZY what some women do. I’ve known girls to set up fake profiles. Or girls who knew there ex’s password to log in and check the inbox, while also deleting some hot female “friends.” Or posting status updates such as “FINALLY THE DIVORCE IS FINAL I HOPE THAT DICK-WAD AND HIS WHORE OF A GIRLFRIEND BURN IN HELL”
and of course the ex and his whore of a girlfriend are somehow friends with the woman scorned, so they get to see it when they are drinking their coffee.
As a female all of this social net-working is addictive. One of my friends vowed to her boyfriend to give it up for Lent! Not beef or chicken, but Facebook. Helllloooo crazies!
dolita
wrote on June 14 2009 @ 07:37 pm: [report]
The WORST things people have ever “said” to me in my whole entire life have been on Facebook. Just the other day, I received yet another nasty message. Oddly enough, this never happened to my on myspace. But now that I’m in my 20s people are telling me that I “manipulate others to compensate for my dwindling importance in their lives” via Facebook. And it’s ALL been from women.
sparklestar
wrote on June 15 2009 @ 08:27 am: [report]
I have just sent “feedback” to the site decrying the woman who wrote that article. She ought to be ashamed of herself for making a quick buck from such horrific sexism.
MissChaotic
wrote on June 16 2009 @ 12:47 am: [report]
I admit to passive-aggressive statuses. However, since I’ve been single for more than a year, they’ve mainly been about political issues or idiots at work.
As for “in a relationship” with a girlfriend…its not for un-hooking up purposes, its usually just spawning from an inside joke.
And OMG!!! I have seen several guys post picts with other girls that were interested in me. Hell, one even said he did it just so he could get my attention and make me mad (We had nothing in common, and I would tell him this and he wouldn’t get it)...AND I’ve seen guys with passive-aggressive statuses. Not to mention, guys will make up fake profiles and say they’re married to actions or inanimate objects (like “dinero”, “getting money” or “#&@$% bitches”...no joke, I’ve seen losers like this).
So instead of saying its a girl thing, why doesn’t that person wise up and say its a personality type thing. Trust, there are just as many men that like drama. And I’m not talking about effeminate men either.
notsoanonymous
wrote on June 16 2009 @ 02:25 pm: [report]
@ littlemissr19
Re: And to post some like “Amy is sick and tired of spoiled brats who think the world revolves around them and ignore the feelings of others” is kind of crazy. It doesn’t matter how angry you are, it’s rude and, honestly, insane to post private arguements on a public forum.
Yesterday, one of my closest friends (who is also what I call my ‘drama llama’ - it always seems like there is SOMEthing she is upset/mad about) posted this on her facebook:
“its the me me me in you that gets to me”
This comment I figured out was directed at me, because I didn’t attend her college graduation (I wasn’t invited) and I wasn’t planning to attend her grad party either for some rather important reasons - the person who is throwing it and I ended our friendship a long time ago over a serious incident (police were called, lets leave it at that.)
The passive-aggressive comment on top of everything else going on with this girl was enough for me to think, close friend or not, maybe I shouldn’t have this person in my life.
All because of Facebook
Deer
wrote on September 4 2009 @ 04:55 am: [report]
I am sure that men do similar things on facebook, none of this is very healthy though.
steventa
wrote on September 8 2009 @ 07:13 pm: [report]
Good list to know. I will keep any eye for fake profiles trying to be my friends ... However, whether its facebook or online dating, its important for us to protect our privacy.