My Slut-Called Life: NJ High School Girls Circulate A “Slut List”
Posted by: Jessica Wakeman
Filed in:
news
12:40PM, Tuesday September 22nd 2009
Hazing: It’s not just for Chuck Bass at the Skull & Bones Society anymore! High school girls in New Jersey are now pretending they’re badasses by putting younger girls on a nasty “slut list.” The New York Times reported that catty seniors at Millburn High School in wealthy Millburn, New Jersey have circulated a “slut list” on which they scribble dozens of names of “pretty and popular” incoming freshman with “crass descriptions” on loose-leaf paper. The school principal, Dr. William Miron, said the tradition has taken place for over a decade, but this year hundreds of copies of the “slut list” written up by sports team members apparently made the rounds in the hallways. Why is the Times calling this “hazing”? This sounds like full-on bullying to me.
Millburn High School’s slut list really shows what a complicated relationship women and girls, unfortunately, have with the word “slut.” Dr. Miron told the Times, “We’ve had girls—which is one of the bad things—obsessed that their names are on it, and girls who were upset that they didn’t make the list.” The word “slut” probably makes some of these girls who, ironically, are probably virgins feel like they’ve been branded. But as the school principal said, only “pretty and popular” girls make this slut list; so, apparently, “slut” is a compliment if the only other option is being so invisible you’re off the seniors’ radar.
Although seniors write up a slut list every fall, it caught the attention of the Times this year because half a dozen parents made a big stink about it to school officials. In past years, Dr. Miron said, girls who did the bullying have been suspended and one year six seniors missed school for three to five days when they were caught. So far this year, though, none of the she-beasts responsible have been nabbed.
In the meantime, hopefully the ladies of Millburn High School will figure out that acting out scenes from “Mean Girls” in real life does not make them cool. [NY Times]
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*sam*
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 11:46 am: [report]
Why is this being treated like some kind of “new, disturbing trend?” This sort of thing has been going on FOREVER. When I was in jr high, it was called a “SLAM BOOK”—kids are mean to each other, so of course they’re going to find a way to express it and distribute it around to others. Instead of treating this like some kind of phenomenon, we should be realizing that it’s really the norm and finding a way to let teens express themselves in a way that isn’t damaging to others’ self-esteem (which, we have a LONG way to go to achieve).
effing hickster
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 11:48 am: [report]
I’m certainly not condoning this behavior, but hasn’t it been going on for centuries, not just a decade?
For a good example, think of King Louis XVI of France’s court during that time. You had to really have your wits about you, or GTFO.
Casper
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 11:52 am: [report]
That’s ridiculous, would they be fine with it if it were a list on the staff? I’m inclined to say no they wouldn’t.
This is not a tradition, this is bullying. And if the principal knows they’re doing this and only takes action when parents find out, i wouldn’t want my kid going there because they obviously don’t give a crap about the welfare of their students. If they can’t find the girls responsible for this ‘tradition’ they should look for the kind of girls that have done it years before because generally they pass it on.
Guaranteed if the guys were caught doing this it would be put down as bullying and sexist, so really why should girls get away with this ‘tradition’.
Humble Bee
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 11:53 am: [report]
This was an exact scene from Mean Girls….
What happened to just telling people to their face! cowards! I hate bullies!!! GRRRRR. I was always the person sticking up for others, maybe it’s my big sister instincts.
_jsw_
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 11:58 am: [report]
I think that the only fair solution is for the school to print an official slut list and to be sure to list all incoming girls on it. And the boys, too. And every copy printed should have the names in a new and random order, so no one’s on top on every list.
I think that’d solve the problem nicely.
effing hickster
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 11:59 am: [report]
@_jsw_: Don’t forget to include the teachers who are sleeping with their students.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 12:03 pm: [report]
Eh, this is better than the “Hit list” in my middle school. That kid had some serious issues, lots of psychotherapy for that mofo.
Joey Daytona
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 12:04 pm: [report]
We had Slam Books in upstate NY in the 80s. If you weren’t in one, that was the dis.
brandyalexander
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 12:05 pm: [report]
Can we please have a slut list on the Frisky?
_jsw_
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 12:06 pm: [report]
We used to paint the names on the cave walls when I was a kid. It was a slow process, though, so usually we just wrote “DEY ALL SLUTZ” and then drew a picture of a bison and a mastodon.
_jsw_
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 12:08 pm: [report]
@brandyalexander: We do.
william.paul
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 12:15 pm: [report]
This might be a little off point, but didn’t Anne Hathaway attend Millburn High? Be interesting to know if she was hazed at all.
*sam*
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 12:18 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: aww, how lame is it that I’m not even in the top 10!! I better start slutting it up more if I want to compete!
Humble Bee
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 12:56 pm: [report]
lmao _jsw_!
I am a total frisky slut.
Raugiel
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 01:38 pm: [report]
Either we didn’t have this at my high school or I was too invisible to even be aware of the list.
Language slang question for everyone: Isn’t hazing just bullying that some group has condoned (often not publicly?). One of the worst hazing stories of my adolecence was from a local high school who “hazed” the new players on the boys soccer team with anal fisting. So… is the more extreme behavior not hazing (meaning, is the term difference a matter of degree), or is the parental/coach/team approval the opperative difference between hazing and bullying?
Thanks for helping out a language nerd!
(Maybe that is why I never got my copy of the slut list!)
anoldguy
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 04:31 pm: [report]
Pardon the Old Guy…
I spent 30 years on the faculty of a public high school. “Hazing” IS bullying. It’s simultaneously inexcusable and impossible to completely eliminate. Kids ARE mean to each other from time to time – some of them more often than others. Today’s “slut list” is yesterday’s (yesteryear’s) “Slam Book,” and I haven’t researched it, but would guess that adolescent Greeks in the days of Pericles has something similar. It goes with the territory of adolescence, and yes, the grownups ought to be keeping an eye on it before it becomes sadistic, as Raugiel has detailed. No matter how watchful the adults are, however, kids who are insecure enough about themselves, or arrogant enough, are going to find ways to be mean to other kids, whether it’s on-campus or off.
Frankly, I like jsw’s solution – multiple slut lists, with everyone’s name on each list, but in a different spot, so no two lists have the same person or people at the top.
TinaTuna
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 04:58 pm: [report]
@anoldguy
You are absolutely correct. Hazing is just a fancier word for bullying. It is a way for people to feel better about themselves by making others feel bad. It is disgusting. 1989 high school graduate here and I knew of a list that a bunch of bullies/#&@$% kept about girls and what they are “willing” to do. Most of them were in fact not willing but rather coerced into the situation. Alot of girls wanted to be popular and were told that by doing things with the cool kids this was their way in. They were young and stupid as we all were at 15. They didn’t realize that they were being ridiculed instead. A friend of mine was on that list. She had had a very hard life (death of her mother & brother in a car accident). She wanted so badly to be accepted. She wasn’t and was mocked relentlessly to the point where she transferred schools. It changed her life forever. Suicide attempt at 17 and at 23 she succeeded. This isn’t harmless fun and the administrators need to pull their heads out of their asses fast. Gah!, this type of #&@$% makes my blood boil.
redcow11
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 07:32 pm: [report]
Well. I went on the frisky so I wouldn’t have to read people on the internet arguing and talking about my school and insulting it. It’s nice to know we’ll be remembered as the class full of sluts.
*Lee*
wrote on September 23 2009 @ 09:13 am: [report]
I don’t think the staff or parents will change anything. School, especially high school, has always had elements of this. There will be some counselors talking to kids, maybe some assemblies, maybe even some new rules and stricter discipline if caught. Meanwhile the kids will be doing exactly what they were doing before, only more furtively until there’s less attention on them…laughing pretty much the whole time.
It’s sad to admit it now, but I was a bully in junior high and high school. At some point parents complain and the school gets involved, then it blows over for a time when something else happens. My friends and I even had a police officer come to the school to talk to us more than once, we always laughed about it later.
This has always happened, and it always will.
remembercedricdiggory
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 05:45 pm: [report]
1. It has been around for a long time.
2. That does not mean it should continue.
*Lee*
wrote on September 25 2009 @ 12:05 pm: [report]
I didn’t mean to imply that I feel it should continue. I just want to mention the fact that you can’t stop this. The only thing you can do is punish a few that are caught, the very few.
sophiaclovee
wrote on September 27 2009 @ 12:07 am: [report]
Well I’m not going to pretend i never talked #&@$% when i was in school, cause I did. I didn’t realize how #&@$% up I was til the day I saw Mean Girls, and I was the only one in the theater laughing at some of the mean #&@$% they did. I laughed because I remembered doing things like that when I was in middle school..
In our slam books you wrote your name next to a number. Then wrote your comment about that person and left your number so they could know who wrote it. Back then, the biggest dis was “no comment.” We also included the boys. So no one got left out.
Yeah its pretty stupid now that I think of it, but it happened and I’m not taking it back.
Derrick Watkins
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 02:17 pm: [report]
This is a great example of Good Girls Gone Wild! Teenage girls who are seen as smart and nice want to sometime show the world that they are and can be bad too! Parents should pay close attention to changes in their daughters demeanor.
Derrick Watkins
Author: Why Good Girls Date Bad Boys