My Next Boyfriend Is Going To…

taylor
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 01:40 pm: [report]

is not going to cheat on me.
will treat everyone with respect.
will recycle, donate to a cause, volunteer.
won’t put others down to make himself feel better.
allow others to make decisions.

Simosa
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 01:55 pm: [report]

will have job
will not smoke pot
will talk when the need arises vs trying to put it off till later so we can get it over with it and move on
will not watch ESPN endlessly

christina
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 02:18 pm: [report]

will not be jealous of my gay best friend
will not want to spend every waking second with me
will be interested in what i have to say when i get home from work
will not pretend everythings okay until he explodes

Amelia
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 02:28 pm: [report]

Will propose and mean it.
Will know how to do his own laundry.
Will be TALL.
Will be emotionally mature.
Will not complain about my MTV habit.

Kate
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 02:42 pm: [report]

...will kiss me passionately every once in a while
...will know how to manage his money
...will not be vain
...will ask me how I’m doing and how my day was, and actually care
...will be content sometimes to spend the whole day in bed watching movies and eating takeout
...will compliment me know and then, especially when I’ve made an effort to look nice for a night out.

Caitlin
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 02:49 pm: [report]

...will be emotionally available
...will not be an alcoholic
...will be a democrat
...will have goals, dreams, and the drive to achieve them
...will understand that no means NO!!!

Emily
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 03:11 pm: [report]

...will like that I watch football.
...will call and not text.
...will not live across the country.
...will be interested in culture.
...will have read a book since high school.

stelladelvinile
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 03:26 pm: [report]

- will be taller than me
- (hopefully) will not snore
- will tell the truth
- will be physically active
- will not be bored or annoyed with my sobriety

melissa
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 03:32 pm: [report]

...will be a liberal
...will not be super religious
...will be less selfish
...will put as much effort forth to find out about my day as i did about his
...will not be embarrassed of me

Tracy
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 03:52 pm: [report]

- Will learn how to communicate like an adult
- Will not lead me on
- Will be taller (Seems to be a common theme? haha)
- Will have a job
- Will actually enjoy spending time with me
- Will be respectful to everyone and actually care

christianay
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 03:57 pm: [report]

—Will be crazy about me as much as I will be about him.
—Will consider a LDR if he has to move away.
—Will not make me feel dumb or childish.
—Will not judge me for watching bad TV.
—Will appreciate the art of foreplay.
—Will text or call just to say hi.
—Will not try to teach me when I didn’t ask to be taught.

TC
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 04:08 pm: [report]

...Will not lie or cheat on me.
...Will be patient.
...Will like to go down on me.
...Will have sex with his eyes opened, most of the time.
...Will appreciate my efforts on trying new things.
...Will talk to me when something bothers him.

abbylyn
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 05:27 pm: [report]

...will love me for me.  Faults, imperfections and all, and love me all the more for them.

Alisha
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 06:34 pm: [report]

Will continually surprise me
Will lovingly accept my neuroticism
Will laugh
Will have the “we” team mentality
Will stay with me through joy and pain

Jen
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 07:47 pm: [report]

-will live in the same city as me
-will have a backbone in the relationship and not be afraid to tell me no
-will make plans and surprise me once in awhile
-will like me for all my flaws and all

Blueclover56
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 05:24 am: [report]

Will be a great kisser
Will be taller than me when I’m in heels
Will have a great sense of humor but know when to be serious
Will be more passionate in random moments
Will be open to more things than video games and drinking

ThatNerdyGuy
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 05:53 am: [report]

My next girlfriend will…

Be herself and true to that, whatever it happens to be.

juliePS
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 06:00 am: [report]

-will be gainfully employed/self-sufficient
-will know who (s)he is as a person and be honest about that: if your hobbies are entirely video games, fine, but don’t get all insecure and snotty about how you don’t want me to think you do nothing but play video games. small example, but wtf?
-will think that I’m HOT, not just ‘cute’
-will be emotionally responsible: no more “I sneaked around with my ex behind your back because you were a bad girlfriend,” etc. (I have worse examples, but I’ll leave them out of this.)
-will be emotionally AVAILABLE: so help me god, if you refer to your ex as “the love of my life” or “the one that got away” in front of me, I am leaving immediately. If you tell me that you’re incapable of caring about anyone besides yourself, I am leaving immediately. (I guess it kinda says something about me that previously I would have stayed.)

(basically, I would like an adult, please.)

most importantly, though:
-will treat me as well as my friends do.

that last one is crucial because the realization that I already have a full life of people who love me unconditionally is what is allowing me to, for the first time in my life, pick and choose who I involve myself with romantically. Although I do miss having someone to make out with on a regular basis.

jaybird
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 06:42 am: [report]

I have no list but am very impressed with the thought and wisdom that has gone into these comments. You don’t see this kind of quality often on postings. Aside from the common theme of wanting men to be tall, (height is something nobody can change) there are great requirements here. Still, I was married for over 30 years to a man who was an inch and a half taller than I. When I wore even modest heels I was obviously taller. His short stature didn’t make him less of a man. May you all find what you want and need in a relationship.

Twig
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 07:58 am: [report]

My next boyfriend will ..

—be able to laugh at himself.
—be less jealous
—will have a regular sized temper that does not supersize itself randomly, horrible one day, not there the next
—live in the same city and I do
—will not try to parent my child
—will not freak out when I tell him not to parent my child
—will not wear a cell holster

ShortyDooWop
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 08:25 am: [report]

My next boyfriend will…

-BE MATURE
-be smart/educated
-have a steady income
-give me space and not want to be up under me!
-let me feel comfortable enough to tell him any and everything…even if he disagrees with my ideas

Michelle
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 08:44 am: [report]

My next boyfriend will:

-not have this sad fixation with his ex, calling her to let her know how sweet and special she is even after she moved in with another guy WHILE dating my now ex
-will not make me feel like I’m only second best
-will not think his ex was the only sexy, smart woman in the world
-will love me for me, not for being around
-will not hide these things from me, so I don’t have to learn them when I accidentally get an email not intended to me

bakerlass
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 09:24 am: [report]

my next boyfriend will

-be able to think more than 2 days in the future
-be emotionally available
-not still be so freaked out about a divorce 7 years ago that he can’t consider marriage
-be interested in sex on a regular basis
-compliment me when i dress up for him
-comfort me when i am stressed out or disapointed
-be able to hang out with my friends, even if they’re all single
-not got to bed at 9:30pm
-love the idea of roadtrips on sunday afternoon (outside of football season of course)
-surprise me
-have a good spiritual connection, but not enough to make me think he may want to be a priest
-want a family
-know what a commitment is, and follow up that knowledge with actions that support it
-not be so passive that he runs instead of fights
-understand that relationships aren’t all perfect, and that sometimes fighting can resolve difficult issues
-likes going out on a weeknight sometimes rather than just watching tv
-is responsible with money
-gets more satisfaction than dissatisfaction from his job

DFK
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 09:30 am: [report]

My next boyfriend will:

- be emotionally ready for a long term relationship
- be tall
- appreciate the fact my child is my #1 priority
- be employed and financially responsible
- be able to deal with my cats
- think I’m hot
- compliment me often and mean it
- go down on me and like it
- find me irresistable
- enjoy foreplay
- talk dirty to me
- enjoy having conversations with me

Kiki T
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 10:04 am: [report]

My next boyfriend will have the balls the size of Mount St. Helen’s to be a real in every aspect of his life, not be threatened by his fears and live his life to the fullest, respecting himself, me and everyone he encounters to the best of his abilities.

J My
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 12:46 pm: [report]

My next boyfriend:

~Won’t be so caught up with his problems
~Will be confident in himself
~Won’t have an extensive and publicly know porn collection
~Will just trust me and enjoy my company
~Will be able to manage his money and be stable
~Will be active instead of a lazy couch potato
~Will be more interested in sex because he wants to be with me, not because it’s sex and he just wants it
~Will ask my opinion sometimes
~Would like to hang out with my friends and I - not just his friends and drag me along for the ride.

Macala
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 02:30 pm: [report]

Will love me for me…
Will lose his breath every time I walk in the room…
Will be independent…
Will be love life…
Will love wine…
Will tolerate horses…
Will take out the trash…
Will happily do dish duty…

SpinDoctor5
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 02:49 pm: [report]

This is a brilliant idea, making a list is theraputic and reading all of your posts makes me feel like I’m not alone in this:) 

My next b/f…
...will not be keep a messy house
...will contribute to his 401K
...will not play video games all night long
...will not take himself so seriously
...will actually talk about a real future with me, freely and optimistically
...will not go on and on and on AND ON about politics
...will not beat a deadhorse of a conversation when we diagree, and try to strong arm to prove he is right
...will not be selfish with his love when things don’t go his way
...will not emotionally bail on me when things between us aren’t the best, and will realize that we need each other the most to get through the bad times
...will say he’s open minded and actually mean it
...will love me for all of my quirks, flaws and oddities, and see that these are the things that make me beautiful
...will not let me get away, and will fight with me to make our love last a lifetime

Julienne
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 03:47 pm: [report]

My next boyfriend…

Won’t cheat on me and lie about it
Will make an effort to get to know my friends
Will be less than a foot taller than me (ladies, height is over-rated!)
Won’t freak out when I want to have a girls night at the club and not see him
Won’t judge me by my past relationships
Won’t still be blindly in love with his ex
Will come to me instead of me always coming to him
Will go down on me every once in a while
Won’t obsess about my whereabouts
Will recognize when he’s drank too much
Won’t take his anger out on me

marie
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 05:03 pm: [report]

my next boyfriend will
-not go to his ex everytime we have something to work out in our relationship
-will remember that its OUR relationship not just HIS
-will discuss things with me when they’re serious enough instead of holding everything inside and trying to fix it himself,in his head.. and failing.
-will compliment me often
-will be emotionally available
-will not remind me of how hot girls are that are completely opposite of me
-will not smoke pot almost everyday
-will be more empathetic
-will not be emotionally retarded… ahem
-will think that my imperfections make me beautiful and unique.
-will not push anal sex on me everytime on my period
-will have sex with me while i’m on my period(vaginally of course)
-will more responsible
-will not have a thing for jessica simpson.

Andrea824
wrote on October 30 2008 @ 10:27 am: [report]

My next boyfriend will:

- Want to spend normal, couple-like amounts of time with me.
- Love that I happily slave over dinners for him.
- Have already installed the filter that lets him know when not to say inappropriate, offensive things in front of me.
- Love that I have such a big heart.
- Will talk back to me when we have “serious talk” and be a part of the conversation.
- Rather take bullet than lie to me while looking directly in my eyes.

samantha
wrote on October 30 2008 @ 11:48 am: [report]

very recently dumped by a fantastic guy that i really loved a lot…there was only one problem

my next boyfriend:
- will fall in love and STAY in love with me

Been There Done That!
wrote on October 30 2008 @ 12:07 pm: [report]

Will be my husband.

larry
wrote on October 30 2008 @ 09:37 pm: [report]

As a successfully-married man, I suggest that the young women reading this far take a look at Amy Bloom’s current posting on CNN, “Make sure spouse has the ‘right’ faults”.

The 3-H Rule, which I embrace, states that an enduring and rewarding relationship is created when:
1. A woman’s Head, Heart, and Ho-e ALL commit to one man (it may take time for all three), and
2. A man’s Head, Heart, and Ha-d ALL commit to that woman.

I’m in it for over thirty years with a professional woman who, in heels, is taller than I.  Barefoot and naked, our eyes, noses, nipples, and knees match up exactly.

Simosa
wrote on October 30 2008 @ 10:24 pm: [report]

Great advice. I can’t wait to read Amy’s story

Anita
wrote on October 31 2008 @ 10:05 am: [report]

* Be willing to share.
* Able to pay for his own sh*t.
* Be Available.
* Have patience will all my sides.
* Will be smart but not snide.

Karen
wrote on November 1 2008 @ 08:20 am: [report]

My next boyfriend

-will initiate and be good at foreplay
-will not make it out so that everything is always my fault
-will stop when I start to cry
-will not have friends of the opposite sex who aren’t just friends
-will think that I am beautiful, even on a bad day
-will make be feel sexy all the time
-will not lie to me about what he is doing
-will not turn his phone off to make excuses about sneaking around
-will not abandon me when things get hard
-will accept me despite my flaws and not throw them back in my face
-will not make me feel second to everyone else
-will be proud to be with me
-will think no one else can love him more
-will be my husband

Park
wrote on November 2 2008 @ 06:42 pm: [report]

My next boyfriend …
-will not sulk when we disagree
-will hug me when I have had a bad day and not expect it to immediately lead to something
-will by his words and actions show that he has paid attention to the things that I have said
-will have a more positive view of life
-will have drive and not just talk about the things he wants to accomplish
-will not ignore me when his friends are around
-will not want to stay in all the time
-will love that I’m independent
-will be okay with little displays of affection such as holding hands
-‘s eyes will light up when I enter a room
-will tell me he loves me
-

Gypsygirl01
wrote on November 3 2008 @ 09:29 am: [report]

-Will not be in trouble with the law
-will not take chances with our future
-will not be married to another woman
- will not have a drinking issue
-will want to spend more time having sex with me
-will take care of me for a change, instead of me taking care of him
-will have a full time job
will want to go to sleep at night with me, and wake up beside me in the mornings, not on the couch
-will not put me second to anyone ever again
- will love my child as much as i do

cari
wrote on November 3 2008 @ 11:08 am: [report]

My next boyfriend will not spend engagement-ring money on a Skeeball lane for his basement.

http://www.mediapeasant.com

Desiree
wrote on November 3 2008 @ 01:14 pm: [report]

My next boyfriend is going to agree that we can occasionally play with other people.

manasz
wrote on November 3 2008 @ 03:47 pm: [report]

My next boyfriend
-will VOTE and not make excuses about why he chooses not to vote.
-will NOT be a manorexic gym fanatic choosing his workout over me.
-will be emotionally available.
-will love love love foreplay.
-will make me laugh.
-will love me and want to be with my neurotic self.

Ryu
wrote on November 3 2008 @ 05:14 pm: [report]

What I don’t understand, as a guy, is why girls will go out with the a-holes first, break up with them, and then they list everything they want in a nice guy.  Is it because the a-holes make the first move?  Or because you wanted a little “bad-boy” and it turned out to be too much?

You girls know exactly what you want, I bet 90% of the nice guys are the ones who are too shy to talk to you, too intimidated to approach you, or is a friend of yours that just can’t seem to tell you how he feels. It’s funny how most girls write off guys like this. We’re sorry you’re so beautiful, we can’t help it.

How about this, give the guy standing in the back looking in the ground a chance. Give the random guy who helps you when you drop your things, a chance. Give the guy that looks away when you look at him a chance. Give the guy that stutters when he tries to talk to you a chance.

My fiance was the one who asked me out, which is unheard of.  I’m a shy guy, I always looked away when she looked at me and she thought it was funny.  She approached me one day, asked me to go to a party, we got drunk (I hate getting drunk, but she got me drunk haha) she kissed me all of a sudden.. and after that everything that’s happened between us has been a dream. We’ve been together for 3 years and are about to get married.  Because she took the opportunity.  If she didn’t, I seriously don’t think I’d be getting married to her.

Go to Sleep!
wrote on November 3 2008 @ 06:32 pm: [report]

Ryu Me?

Park
wrote on November 3 2008 @ 06:36 pm: [report]

I do like “nice guys”.  All of my boyfriends have been “nice guys”

The reason why women don’t just go up to nice guys and talk to them (or at least why this woman doesn’t) the same fear of rejection.

Krystal
wrote on November 4 2008 @ 01:16 am: [report]

It took me writing out a whole list to realize I’m just looking for one imperative quality in my next relationship: I hope to find someone who is selfless.

Lyra
wrote on November 4 2008 @ 11:20 am: [report]

will stand up for me if someone unexpectedly attacks me, verbally or otherwise, and ask questions later.
will care genuinely about me.
will make me laugh.
will be sweet before everything else.

Heather
wrote on November 9 2008 @ 04:59 pm: [report]

...will not be a video game addict.
...will be a reader.
...will enjoy live theatre and museums.
...will find me fascinating.