“More To Love” Is About Female Insecurity, Not Body Size
Posted by: Susannah Breslin
Filed in:
news
11:10AM, Wednesday July 29th 2009
I’m not going to lie. I was pretty excited about last night’s premiere episode of “More to Love.” At 6’1”, I’m a big girl no matter how much I weigh. Here was a show dedicated to the plight of all of us larger-sized folk wandering the earth, looking for someone who will say the magic words: “You are big, and that is awesome.”
The premise of “More to Love” is simple. It’s like “The Bachelor,” only people have taken to calling it “The Fatchelor,” because this time around, the dude looking for love is 26-year-old, 6’3”, 330-pound Luke Conley. And he’s not looking for a skinny bitch. He’s looking for a woman who’s “curvy.”
And the girls on the show are curvy. The producers didn’t come up with a premise and then fail to execute it. One contender for Luke’s heart weighs in at 279 pounds. Some of the girls are tall, too. One 6’2” woman who dared to wear heels towered over Luke.
In a lot of ways, the show is a lot like “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette.” For the most part, what you have here are a couple dozen people who are crazy, desperate, or wild-eyed enough to figure that looking for their One True Love on reality TV is a good idea. (History would suggest, with a few exceptions, that, in fact, it is not.)
Mostly, the show is benign. Compared to the weave-pulling, spit-flying, and bitch-slapping seen on, say, VH1, “More to Love” is more kind than cruel. And since this is love we’re talking about, you’d think that’d be a good thing. Luke is a nice guy. He tells the women they’re beautiful, he politely procures pretty innocent kisses, and he seems like he means it when he says that it’s hard for him to deny some of the women the “promise rings” that those who are chosen to stay for another episode wear.
The hard part of it, though, is that, for whatever reason, it’s more than apparent that many, if not most, of the women are deeply insecure. Regardless of what they look like on the outside, it’s their insides that are the issue. They are saddened by their history of repeated dating failures, wounded by guys who wouldn’t accept them as they were, terrifically needy for Luke to be The One. If you are into watching chicks weep, tremble, and wring their hands over what amounts to a group blind date with a guy they barely know, this is the show for you.
There’s something sweet about “More to Love,” but there’s something sad about it, too. That the women are big girls is irrelevant. That 99 percent of them will end up brokenhearted is what’s tragic.
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GreenAura
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:18 am: [report]
I caught a little bit of the beginning, when they were introducing each woman. Was I the only one who thought it was completely unnecessary to post the women’s weight?? They don’t do that on other reality shows. Why should we care what she weighs? We know she’s big, she knows she’s big, who the hell cares?? She deserves love at any weight. I changed the channel because of it!
PradaBum
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:23 am: [report]
Ugh! Curvy does not equal fat/larger/chubby. I am so annoyed that the term has become synonymous with heavy.
On another note, I haven’t seen the show but the concept seems absolutely ridiculous. Piggybacking off of GreenAura ... everyone deserves love, what’s weight got to do with it!
Skwisgiirl
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:29 am: [report]
I skipped this one, and from the looks of the comments, I was right to do so. I think that between the desperation and the assertion that plus-sized= “normal” (which I think marginalizes everyone who ISN’T plus-sized, and therefore exacerbates things)in the commercials, it just didn’t seem appealing to me.
Humble Bee
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:39 am: [report]
I caught a little bit of it, when they were all sobbing because they’ve been hurt so many times, and how Luke oh Luke!, please your “my only hope, my last chance for love”.. these girls are REALLY needy, and REALLY annoying. Its a sweet concept, that makes you go aww thats cute, but at the same time. What’s so wrong with “fat” chicks being on the regular bachelor, why do they have to make a special ‘fat’ edition?
Jessica Wakeman
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:39 am: [report]
I watched “More To Love” last night and I agree with you — it’s mostly benign and Luke, the bachelor, seems like a genuinely sweet person. I felt like I was watching a generic dating reality show where all the contestants *just happened* to be bigger. Except for when the women’s names appear onscreen along with their weight! I wish the show hadn’t put their weight onscreen, because it could come off as exploitative, but maybe I’m wrong and it gives hope to other big women out there who also weigh 220 lbs and can relate to these women. Overall, I thought it was pretty respectfully handled.
I Go To 11
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]
I watched some of this show while channel surfing last night, and I’m in agreement with those of you who think the women on the show seem very needy and insecure. Is that what the producers were specifically looking for when casting? I mean, how hard would it be to find confident, secure women that happen to be big? I know they’re out there. While I think it’s fine that they’re trying to show that people of all shapes and sizes deserve love, I’m not sure if they’re going about it the best way they could’ve with this show. (Although, I have to admit that it is refreshing to see a show that’s not full of size 0 women for once.)
unbounded
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:56 am: [report]
Ditto on the issue of most of the women being exceptionally needy and insecure - I mean, the idea is you go on the show to see if he’s the one FOR YOU, meaning your personalities mesh and you fall in love with each other, not because you think he is the only guy in the universe who will accept you for being overweight and for that reason only must be the one for you.
I really liked some of the women (although, many of them need some help with their hair, sorry, I’ve never seen such limp locks on a reality TV show before), but I was very turned off by all the crying - hello? They barely know him? Expectations getting a little ahead of ourselves? Hm, maybe I should think about this the next time I get rejected by a guy
?
But, I would totally tune in for the makeover episode, if there is one. Some of these girls know how to dress and present themselves, and some of them do not. This is the self-confidence factor another poster mentioned. I’d like to see them get the chance to shine and realize how beautiful they are.
doridori
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:04 am: [report]
I watched most of the show last night. I think that the concept the show was meant to be positive, meaning that it’s an even playing field for plus-sized women. Most plus sized women have had to deal with the fact that society does frown upon the additional weight and larger size. Most of us have had the experience of the having our attractiveness questioned based off of our size. Rejection is very real, more so when the competition is females that are “regular/normal” size and weight.
However, watching the show embarrassed me. The only interviews they were showing where the blubbering, insecure, desperate females that showed little to no confidence. Fox had a chance to make this show into a positive thing, showing that the only difference in plus size woman and a “regular” sized woman is exactly that her size. Instead, they twisted the show for ratings making it seem like all the women were totally desperate and this was in fact their last chance for a romantic relationship.
jld117
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:21 am: [report]
I don’t really watch reality television at this point in my life, having watched only Temptation Island and Joe the Millionaire years ago - but I’m not into the Bachelor, etc. However, there was nothing on t.v. last night and so I watched most of “More to Love”. I was terribly embarassed for the women on the show, and I think Fox is totally exploiting them. Their weights being shown on the screen was completely unnecessary. And, the clips of interviews totally portrayed their insecurities to the point where many seemed desperate, basically begging Luke to keep them. It was an ablsolute disgrace, and if I were one of the very confident, larger women out there - because I agree there are many - I would be upset. Hell, I am upset and I’m on the tiny side.
ahw
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 12:14 pm: [report]
I really looked forward to watching this because I somehow thought that, finally, here will be a reality show with confident women. But no, we have women who lack self-esteem jumping into pools, crying on camera, and hanging on to some guy like he’s the last thing they’ll ever want in life, and they don’t even know him yet. They wonder why their past relationships haven’t worked out; it certainly isn’t because they are overweight.
I wanted to see a show with larger women, but instead this has women who are obese to the point of being unnatractive. Some of the women, don’t get me wrong, look healthy, but others are obviously at risk for diabetes and heart disease simply because they are unhealthy.
I expected more.
BlueVibe
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 10:10 am: [report]
They posted the women’s WEIGHT??
Okay, not that they should be ashamed of their weights, but advertising it on the show seems more appropriate to a livestock auction than a dating show!
I agree with Humble Bee—why the special “fat edition”? Yeah, I know: Reality shows aren’t really about reality, otherwise they wouldn’t pick the most extreme physical types (Barbie versus “plus-sized”) and the most extreme personalities (abrasive, self-centered, needy, whatever it takes to create drama).
Netty
wrote on August 1 2009 @ 06:53 pm: [report]
I agree with PradaBum.
Curvy is not a synonym for over-weight or obese. Curvy means someone who isn’t flat-chested, with no booty, and no hips. Curvy means hourglass. And I fail to see were hourglass means overweight.
And this show simply looks like it is exploiting the insecurities of plus-sized women.
snap
wrote on August 1 2009 @ 07:02 pm: [report]
i completely agree about “curvy.” it doesn’t mean fat or overweight. it means boobs, hips, butt. many, many curvy girls are nowhere near fat or even overweight.
Ginacakes
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 12:52 pm: [report]
This show was so ridiculously disappointing, and as a big girl, comepletely frustrating. I have been a big girl my entire life, love myself and have had many successful relationships. Most of these girls just feed into the stereotype that “fat” people are insecure and desparate for love. Really? Crying over a guy you met 5 minutes ago? This show is going to shatter some of those girls.