More GOOP From Gwyneth: Homemade Beauty Recipes!

Another day, another Gwyneth Paltrow GOOP edition chock-full of sage advice. This time she addresses the beauty realm, and here’s a synopsis of the tips: Make a body scrub by mixing Turbinado (that’s sugar that comes from the first pressing of the sugar cane), olive oil and coarsely ground coffee, the latter of which Miss Paltrow does not, repeat, does not ever drink. Soften skin with oatmeal and honey before rubbing it with aloe vera juice to reduce redness, and reduce puffy morning eyes by placing chilled spoons over your lids or use cotton pads soaked in cold milk. Prevent wrinkles by doing daily facial exercises like sticking your tongue out as far as you can while keeping your eyes wide for 30 seconds. Apply a boatload of coconut oil after a bath to goop up your skin, which we can assure you is the story behind her seriously oily legs on “Letterman” recently.

Okay, Goopy, let’s talk.

The good news here is that at least she’s not raving about some $500 face cream we can’t afford. The bad news is this regimen is very costly in terms of time. I know it’s sort of interesting to hear about cool homemade beauty remedies, but I have to ask: If you’re not a famous multimillionaire with nothing to do but practice yoga and play beauty parlor in your spectacular kitchen, do you ever really have (or take) the precious moments to do this stuff? I mean, hypothetically, sure I’d like to blend my coffee grounds up and use them to make my skin look awesome. More realistically, I wash my face in 1.5 minutes with a $3 bar of Neutrogena soap and down a large cup of coffee just to make it out of the house in the morning. Anyone else? [Telegraph UK]