Mind Of Man: Simple Thoughts On Settling Down
Posted by: Honest Abe
Filed in:
guys
10:00AM, Friday May 23rd 2008
Honest Abe is a friend of ours who emails us his interesting observations about men, women, relationships, sex, and dating from time to time. And from time to time we will excerpt these thoughts in Mind Of Man. Hate it or love it, we’re sure it’ll really be that simple.
I had a conversation yesterday with a close friend the other day, as she was sharing with me her frustration with her boyfriend of 4 years, and his unwillingness to settle down (i.e. popping the question). Here’s the truth, as I told her, about men. Regardless of how great she is, if we’re not ready to settle down, we’re just not ready to settle down. This is why you see two great people break up, and you wonder why that had to happen. Often, it’s because we’re just not ready.
Timing is half the equation for a man. Men have a strange trigger that goes off in our heads which says “ok, I think I’m ready to settle down.” And the next best person that comes along is the one. Note my choice of words – it’s not the next any person that comes along, but the next BEST person that comes along. So if you wonder why that last relationship didn’t work out given how great it was, really, it isn’t you, ladies. This is why the guy you broke up with after 4 years is married with kids two years later. Move on and find a man whose ready to give you what you deserve, which is partly timing driven.
It’s really that simple.
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toyen
wrote on May 23 2008 @ 11:56 am: [report]
I’m mused about this with girlfriends before, that it’s all about timing… Not so much about being the right one, but the right one at the right time. Glad to see our intuition was spot on.
Elle
wrote on May 23 2008 @ 08:07 pm: [report]
I agree with this completely. I’ve always thought that men have some trigger in their heads that tells them it’s time to settle down. I think a lot of women have beat themselves up over situations where they get dumped and their former guy gets married a heart beat later, but really it’s all about timing. I think if you have your sh*t together and your guy is in the right head space then it will all fall together very easily. What sucks is that some of the women that get dumped have primed their men to get married and that’s why they usually end up getting into serious relationships right after they told you they weren’t ready.
atlgirl
wrote on May 28 2008 @ 12:44 pm: [report]
I think this is totally true for women too. They settle down when the timing is right and the best (not just any) candidate comes along. I’ve seen cases where the guy totally wants to settle down and she’s not ready.
Sue
wrote on September 11 2008 @ 06:16 pm: [report]
Honestly. There arent enough men out there that want a serious commitment. Most men are either not ready or have this astranged commitment fobiah? Not sure why.
I have this old guy friend of 2 years and he and I tried to be together. But after about a year and a half I left him for one of his guy friends.
Both of his sisters one’s engadged and soon to be married and his other sister has been married for almost 1 and a half now.
And yet. he’s so freaked out at the very menchin of the word marriage. Not really sure why.
I dont understand why thats such a scary word to some not all but some men. I think its because he’s so inexperienced and immature.