Mind Of Man: How To Talk Dirty
Posted by: John DeVore
Filed in:
guys
12:00PM, Wednesday July 29th 2009
I’ve learned a lot of things from the women in my life. How to appreciate wine, do my own taxes, not be a douchebag. And because of them, I am a fan of Pinot Noir, keep a shoebox of receipts, and am a fan of Pinot Noir. But more on this later.
Sex without dirty talk is a bland affair, like chicken nuggets without the hot mustard. Without that whispered verbal communication and the trust that goes with it, body and mind aren’t connected. No, I’m not getting all Deepak Chopra all up in this joint. Sex is a brain thing as much as a skin thing. Without uncensored, honest, blushing dirty talk in bed (or the backseat, stairwell, or under the kitchen table) there is no way to find out if she needs it faster or slower. You’d never learn that she likes her hair pulled to the left, while you softly kiss her jaw line on the right side of her face. Apparently, there’s a world of difference between a flick and a pinch. These are important facts, and the reverse is true when you’re with your man.
It takes practice, and, as I mentioned, trust. I suppose some people are born with a natural talent for it. I am not one of those people. The woman I first had a full-blown sexual relationship with once asked me to “tell her what I wanted” while we were working up to some hot futon love. Flummoxed, I replied, “Uh. This?” She purred that she wanted me to talk dirty to her, a concept that was foreign to me. I must have sounded like Data from “Star Trek: The Next Generation.” “Insertion of my penis into your vaginal canal is imminent.”
It took a few more lessons for me to achieve awkward mediocrity, but over the years I’ve learned not only how to talk dirty, but how not to. For instance, there was the woman who, midway through banging it out, shouted, “That’s it, daddy!” My reaction was ... Well, you know that scene in “The Wizard of Oz” when the gay icon’s house falls on top of the witch, and her feet are sticking out? And then they curl up under the house, striped socks and all? Yeah, it was like that, only instead of feet with striped socks, it was my genitals. Now, I’m not being a clucking prig here. I’m not judging her, at least in hindsight. It’s fair game to tell your partner what it is you need. What I needed was a warning, at the very least. Maybe if she had eased me into it by calling me “Padre,” or “patriarchal authority figure.” Or if, before we did it, she confessed that she was really into Tennessee Williams role playing, and was going to straddle me and sigh, “Ah dooo declare, Big Daddy!” The point is it was a strange surprise, and my reaction would have been different if I had been prepared. A compromise could have been negotiated. I would not have been adverse to, “That’s it, Mister DeVore.” Ultimately, our relationship didn’t last because she’s an Aquarius and I’m a Voltron.
Over the years, I’ve encountered all types of filthy mouths. There was The Narrator (“You’re spanking my ass! Now you’re running your fingers down my back! You flipped me over!); The Affirmer (“YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!”); And The Porn Star (“Pull your [CENSORED] out of my little [CENSORED] and [CENSORED] all over my [CENSORED] you [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED].”) That last one I couldn’t deal with, because I could never stop from giggling.
As I had mentioned before, I’ve learned a lot of things from the women in my life. And I learned how to talk dirty from the one who taught me how to listen to jazz. She had more sophisticated musical tastes than I did, and up until her, I largely considered jazz the music that instruments make when they die. She sat me down after a night of me resisting listening to some dude named Miles Davis, and she very patiently explained to me his genius. To understand jazz, you have to understand improvisation. Improvisation isn’t about making stuff up on the fly; it’s about listening, and responding. About trusting and being trusted and bravely never saying “no” when playing. To be good at improvisation is to be generous, courageous, and vulnerable. To be a great dirty talker, you have to first be a great dirty listener.
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Riley
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:06 am: [report]
I still think some jazz is the sounds instruments make when they die.
Claireific
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:09 am: [report]
Haha! What a great column! Bravo. I agree totally.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:19 am: [report]
I want Obi-Wan in my head telling me what to do “Trust the force Cheese. Feel the Force flow through you.” Then I turn off my targeting computer and fire my proton torpedos into her exhaust port.
theothergyllenhaal
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 12:13 pm: [report]
You never told us about the Pinot Noir.
Christinaval
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 12:20 pm: [report]
LOL. “The Narrator”...that is hilarious!!!!!!!
Ginger
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 12:38 pm: [report]
“Or if, before we did it, she confessed that she was really into Tennessee Williams role playing, and was going to straddle me and sigh, “Ah dooo declare, Big Daddy!”
I would actually like to see the people who list this as their kink.
I’m glad you’ve learned how to be a dirty talker/listener. I encountered a guy once who needed lessons desperately. So much so that your description of being Data from Star Trek would have been a welcome subsitute from the things he was saying.
Avah
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 01:32 pm: [report]
because she’s an Aquarius and I’m a Voltron….
Priceless!
silvergurl
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 02:04 pm: [report]
ayyyyy papi! good column
Molly Jean
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 02:16 pm: [report]
Between the futon & Star Trek talk that girl must have really loved her some John DeVore! That or you must have given her a taste of something she liked. A lot.
I didn’t realize “daddy” was such a turnoff. I’ve never used it (I prefer cowboy or soldier…I’m southern) but I thought it was pretty common/acceptable???
Ginger
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 02:22 pm: [report]
@ Molly Jean It’s acceptable to some people but a lot of guys don’t want to hear anything that might make them think of the girl’s parents (especially her father) while getting it on.
RachWilks
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 02:40 pm: [report]
Oh my gosh, that paragraph about “daddy” had me LOLing. Great post!
rebelchanteuse
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 02:57 pm: [report]
oh, my ... my dad has had a towel embroidered with “big daddy” since i was a kid ... ick.
_jsw_
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 03:26 pm: [report]
Another in a continuous string of excellent articles.
As far as “daddy” goes: I can tell you that any man with a daughter would likely be particularly adverse to this term except possibly when used by that child’s mother… maybe. The willie wilt might be permanent with the woman who uses that term with such a man, depending on how memorable the usage was. And if he becomes more amorous when it’s used, then, well… that’s disturbing.
I too love the descriptions of the various talkers, and I wish I had more experience with such women. Mine have tended to be… less wordy. Not necessarily less vocal, but definitely less verbal. I’ve tried in the past to get them to talk more, to no real avail, and I’ve even suggested American Sign Language in lieu of words, which one woman agreed to but which turned out to be a mistake because I don’t understand ASL at all. Thank God she was able to eventually walk again.
On the other hand, I have, over time, learned the art of dirty talk, as well as its close cousin, the art of verbal seduction. Now, when I call them “arts” and say that I’ve “learned” them, it’s not all that far from a child saying he’s learned the art of paint-by-numbers water color painting, which effectively means he’s able to get water onto the paper. Don’t take the “water” analogy too far; I’m not into that. I was just trying to say that I don’t consider myself to be all that talented at it. However, a few long distance relationships (hence phone sex) and a few transitions from friend to not-just-friend have required some talking, and my eventual success leads me to believe I’ve passed some minimal level of competence. As with Mr. DeVore, my first attempts were… not so competent. I distinctly remember the difficulty in using words that weren’t technical (“c**k” instead of penis, “p***y” instead of vagina, etc.). It was so awkward. But, once I learned to go with the flow, it’s really not so bad.
I think it’d all be easiest, though, if I were with someone who spoke a language I didn’t and who didn’t speak English. Then we could both be shouting out grocery lists and the way we organize our cloths, and, as long as it was enthusiastic enough, we’d both be happy.
“OH MY GOD!! I can’t believe I forgot to get mustard!”
“Мне нравится моя раза рубашки вместо них висит!!!”
“And the plums were so tasty. Oh.. oh… oh.. I love those plums.”
“Мой носки чистые!!!!”
“Put my bread in the bag! Do it! Put it in the bag! But not the eggs! Careful with the eggs!”
And so on….
Molly Jean
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 05:56 pm: [report]
ok, so are the men adverse to being called “daddy” also adverse to spankings? make me understand.
stormygirl
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 06:12 pm: [report]
Star trek, voltron, “insertion of my penis into your vaginal canal is imminent”, you are such a gifted writer John DeVore. You are just one of the reasons why I love thefrisky! What a great post!
_jsw_
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 06:30 pm: [report]
@Molly Jean: No… you make us understand. Yes, make us. If we don’t get it quickly enough, spank us. Yes, like that. Oooh. Even harder.
</horricattemptattalkingdirty>
DancingGeek
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 07:41 pm: [report]
@_jsw_ Is it getting warm in here?
_jsw_
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 08:15 pm: [report]
@DancingGeek: It is now.
bumbler
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 08:19 pm: [report]
I am 100% with you on parental nicknames. My husband’s family is Colombian but he is forbidden from calling me Mami and I will never call him Papi. I know in certain cultures these terms have become more generic but honestly the first thing that pops into my head is mom and dad. Ick factor: 10.
Shasta
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 08:42 pm: [report]
I liken the expression of dirty talk to that of “I Love You.”
I wait for him to say it first, so I can react, which I will gladly do, but I need to know what his tolerance is first.
bbpickles
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:01 pm: [report]
Is “YES!YES!YES!YES!” really considered dirty talk? I did not know….
I am not a fan of the daddy talk in the bedroom, I can’t help but thinking of my dad when he asks “who’s your daddy?” AWKWARD!!!
_jsw_
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:16 pm: [report]
@bbpickles: I’d say “YES!YES!YES!YES!” isn’t truly dirty talk. I mean, it’s talk. And it’s during sex. But I’d consider it more of a vocalization.
*sam*
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:23 pm: [report]
_jsw_: omg, your first post had me laughing so hard I almost woke up my bf sleeping next to me!!!
he keeps saying we need to have ‘funny’ sex, and while I don’t see the point in ruining a perfectly good rump-fest, I think I’m going to steal your grocery lines to give him what he wants. (beats the hell out of making farm noises, which is all I could really think of previously).
Nihilia
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:52 pm: [report]
Miles Davis great choice, and I completely agree with you on the whole dirty talk thing. Especially the whole…parental nicknames…I think thats a bit creepy.
_jsw_
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:56 pm: [report]
@*sam*: You’re completely welcome to use the grocery store lines. I recommend sticking with spices, produce, and some meats. Avoid the baby, pet, and medical aisles altogether, and be careful with cereals (“Nut ‘n Honey” might be taken poorly, for example, whereas “Honey Smacks” might be what you’re in the mood for, and “Bamm-Bamm Berry Pebbles” could be interesting).
feinicstine
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 07:10 am: [report]
I guess I’m bad at this. Whenever my boyfriend asks me to tell him what I want my only answer is, “I don’t know… do your thing. I’m not sure what you do!”
Molly Jean
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 09:08 am: [report]
Whatever. Despite all the twisted things you guys see/hear in porn, you are going to get all bent out of shape when your girl, while in the throws of passion, yells out, “Yes, daddy!” while you are blowing her mind? Really? Poor girl.
Molly Jean
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 09:10 am: [report]
@_jsw_: you are funny…
_jsw_
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 09:14 am: [report]
@Molly Jean: Yes, really. Maybe there’s some circumstance in which that wouldn’t be a big deal, but, for me, it’d almost undoubtedly totally throw things off. Electra complexes are fine. I just don’t want to sleep with someone in the midst of one.
_jsw_
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 09:16 am: [report]
@Molly Jean: Honestly, I don’t think I’d have cared before. Now that I have daughters, though… it’s just not what I’d want to hear. :o
Molly Jean
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 09:23 am: [report]
To each his own, I suppose. Maybe I don’t care because I don’t have kids…the only thing that would turn me off would be something violent-sounding or talking in a creepy baby voice…otherwise, I guess I just feel like some strange (funny!) things come out of mouths while getting it on. I don’t care to censor my lovers, in other words
lilrockgoddess4u
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 09:25 am: [report]
I call my bf “daddy” sometimes, but only when we are joking around. He’s only two years younger than my dad so it’s really just an ongoing joke, I call him “daddy” and he calls me “little girl”. Freaks people out, lol!
_jsw_
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 09:33 am: [report]
@Molly Jean: Sure, pretty much any heat-of-the-moment comment would be fine and probably not even actually comprehended if the action were that good. But… if the use of phrases involving “daddy” were ongoing or noticeable, then, yeah… it wouldn’t work for me. :o I’m sure lilrockgoddess4u‘s bf feels differently about the subject.
Molly Jean
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 09:43 am: [report]
I’m with lilrockgoddess4u & her boyfriend…they sound like they keep things hot…I’ve got to stop procrastinating & say goodbye to The Frisky for the day!
rdkilldujour
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 12:21 pm: [report]
you are the cutest thing ever. thanks for sharing!
Loves2Spooge
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 02:04 pm: [report]
Damn, I need to sign up for some internet classes or something because I am missing the boat. I bet University of Phoenix has something, or maybe I should stick to nautical schools….
smh
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 04:18 pm: [report]
ewwwwwwwwwww the use of Dad or Daddy anywhere in proximity to anything related to intimacy is creepy
onewriter
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 04:34 pm: [report]
Okay, this one was just great. The comments are hilarious too…you know who you are. I wouldn’t call my boyfriend “daddy” ever…so it wouldn’t come up during bedroom time EVER. I do have a dear friend in California whom I call “big daddy” but it’s not sexual…lol He thinks it’s fun. As to talking dirty, well, I’m one of the ones who very rarely opens her mouth. Well, for coherent thoughts anyway. Apparently I’m a bit, well, uh…vocal. (arg!) I’ve no idea what talking dirty entails besides what my ex used to want me to say to him, and I don’t remember exact phrasing-but I just don’t do that sort of thing. My boyfriend can get out a few words here and there and if I hear it, and am not entrenched in passion, I can answer him if I need to. Every now and then I will actually say something but I’m just not comfortable doing that…I suppose if there was a library book on the subject…haha!
Shasta
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 05:53 pm: [report]
Mmm.
So everyone seems to have a general opinion on the topic, but what dirty talk is most appealing?
We know that “Daddy, Poppi, and Pappy” or definite turnoff’s but what are the definite turn’on’s?
Just where are the lines between sexy, predatory and stupid?
Maybe that’s another topic for John DeVore to expound upon.
onewriter
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 05:57 pm: [report]
Good point. I was going to say that the article didn’t take it far enough to satisfy my curiosity, but I’d forgotten. Too busy wondering why the notion of incest would turn anyone on and hoping I don’t run into any of them…
umiabze
wrote on July 31 2009 @ 12:01 am: [report]
@_jsw_ you are hilarious ... bam bam berry smacks?? really?? gotta try out dirty grocery list talks
...it’s different for hispanic people though, the whole papi and mami thing ...there’s something about the intonation when it’s said right that makes you feel desirable, like the sexiest woman alive ... clearly i stand alone in my opinion of that! but, wutev =)
spinal11
wrote on July 31 2009 @ 07:54 am: [report]
You’re cool with spanking someone’s ass but not with them calling you daddy? Okaaay.
I don’t think it’s an incest thing, it’s more of a sexy “who’s your daddy?” thing. I’ve never said it myself but it wouldn’t offend me, and I certainly wouldn’t assume the person would rather be having sex with their dad.
brandyalexander
wrote on July 31 2009 @ 08:08 am: [report]
@ jsw: i love that. i almost went to bulgaria in college, and i wanted to have a boyfriend who didn’t speak english while i couldn’t speak bulgarian, just so we could have sex exactly like that
unfortunately for me my flight to eastern europe was scheduled for september 12… needless to say, it never happened.
@ spinal: i would dry up sooo fast if anyone ever suggested i call them daddy. its gross. how else can it be anything but an incest thing? that being said, i love spankings. my parents never spanked me though, so i don’t associate it with childhood.
retro chic
wrote on July 31 2009 @ 10:14 pm: [report]
Very funny as usual. John, your “YES,YES,YES…” affirmer was channeling Meg Ryan?. And, *love* this – “To be a great dirty talker, you have to first be a great dirty listener.” So true, ‘cause “Momma knows how to get what Momma wants…” Yep, that’s right, John DeVore.
@jsw and @spinal11: mmm-hm, cool (or, hot!) when done right. “As far as “daddy” goes:... possibly when used by that child’s mother…” and “Sure, pretty much any heat-of-the-moment comment would be fine.” Or “it’s more of a sexy ‘who’s your daddy?’ thing.” Check.
Random momma/daddy dirty talk between adults – no big deal. Is anyone going to say that *Marilyn Monroe’s* overtly sexual rendition of “My heart (bu-bump) be-longs (bu-bump) to Dad-dy…” is about incest or parents? ...and that’s 1950s Technicolor fully clothed.
jsw, I’m imagining how your “grocery list” encounters end in the frozen food aisles for baked desserts and popsicles…
Cheese: “I want Obi-Wan in my head telling me what to do “Trust the force Cheese. Feel the Force flow through you.” Then I turn off my targeting computer and fire my proton torpedos into her exhaust port.”
Brillllliant – You clanged the GFG bell this week in my book. Pornification of childhood Star Wars memories the world ‘round on general Cheese-physics principles as only you can.
muzician
wrote on August 1 2009 @ 04:13 pm: [report]
As a violinist, I find this phrase the funniest comment ever!
” I largely considered jazz the music that instruments make when they die.”
Thank you! =)
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 1 2009 @ 04:18 pm: [report]
@retro chic: I wasn’t given the coveted “Commenter of the Week”, but I like the honorable mention they gave us though. Thanks for seeing the genius that comes out of my head daily.
_jsw_
wrote on August 1 2009 @ 09:59 pm: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse: “Thanks for seeing the genius that comes out of my head daily.” In this thread, anything that contains “comes out of my head” sounds dirty. And I have to sat that “genius” is much better than PiR’s phrase for, er, “that.”
@retro chic: Ah, you’re obviously far more imaginative in the use of grocery talk (“GT” in the fetish community) than I. Call me and help me to improve?
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 2 2009 @ 02:28 am: [report]
@jsw: I was just out in nyc with friends so I’m kinda drunk…but the only thing that comes out of any head is in fact cum no GT required.
retro chic
wrote on August 2 2009 @ 03:29 pm: [report]
You’re welcome, Fromage… just don’t go all modest on us… it’s confusing.
@jsw: Oh yeah, sly one, *you* are. The only GT I’m aware of is Joni Mitchell’s version:
“I’m a pretty good cook / I’m sitting on my groceries / Come up to my kitchen / I’ll show you my best recipe…”
Besides, I seem to recall how you lingered a little too long over your whipped marshmallow concoction from that “chocolate” post awhile back… *cleanup on aisle 6.*
Cheese, it appears, has already made it to the self-checkout…
Snapell74
wrote on August 3 2009 @ 05:24 am: [report]
I’ve sprung the ‘Daddy’ on a past lover (I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I’m an Aquarius…that’s interesting) He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, so I let him stew over it…..turns out he loved it! It tied in with the naughty schoolgirl fantasy he loved so much. The trick is recognizing that it’s all just fantasy….doesn’t make anyone a pedophile. I’m 35, so there’s nothing illegal about it! Great article!
_jsw_
wrote on August 3 2009 @ 09:15 am: [report]
@Snapell74: “The trick is recognizing that it’s all just fantasy….doesn’t make anyone a pedophile.” You’re right, of course, and the comments I made above came shortly after reading some disturbing news stories, which on top of other things just sort of solidified my feelings against it. Just because someone likes it in sex play, obviously, doesn’t mean they have any actual inclination for it in real life, and there’s nothing wrong with it. I’d probably continue to find it to be a turn-off 99% of the time but could see the right person at the right time making it very hot.
writergirl
wrote on August 3 2009 @ 10:36 am: [report]
Very late to this, but JD, great article as always. Had me laughing out loud, as usual.
Cheese—LOVED the Obi Wan reference. That beat out JSW’s grocery list in my book. (Sorry JSW!)
I had one of my ex-boyfriends say something once about “Daddy”—I don’t remember specifically what he said—but I had the female equivelent fo JD’s reaction—everything dried up and flew away. I don’t think his tone of voice helped either—it sounded creepy and sinister. Oddly enough, he ruined dirty talk for me—don’t know why, but I never engaged in it again and am very greatful to have found a partner who doesn’t either.
_jsw_
wrote on August 3 2009 @ 01:55 pm: [report]
@writergirl: No worries.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to have sex with a man who’s channeling some dead guy’s thoughts in his head as he fires into your “exhaust port” (yeah, I think we know which one that is) and then runs away as you explode.
Hmmph.
bubblegum
wrote on August 3 2009 @ 04:16 pm: [report]
I once dated a really bad dirty talker. Just because I’m hispanic does not mean I HAVE to call you “papi”. i never did, and it just seems unnatural and stupid… he was also very vulgar, not romantic at all!
On the other hand, the last guy I fooled around with could not stop saying the word “F***” during the whole time we were making out, and that actually turned me on like crazy. Maybe because I knew that the word was just a reaction to the arousal he was feeling, and not real “dirty talk”. It drove me crazy!
pornqueen
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 09:06 am: [report]
Well, I have a few comments…I’m hispanic, so calling my guy “papi” in the verge or orgasm its natural to me. I think it’s just the tone one uses that makes it go from creepy to kinky. That’s me and I can totally understand how that freaks/disgusts people. I think dirty talk should come natural. I’ve been with guys who will not shut up, the grocery list guy (I know!), the play by play guy. But the one that I dispise the most is the one that will just lay there, without making a sound, barely moaning here and there. It makes me feel like Im using a dildo not the real thing. Makes me want to slap them! (lol). I really appreaciate a dirty talker, there’s this guy that will turn me on just by dirty talking. He’ll say the perfect phrase at the right time with the right tone while spanking me with the right force. I luv it! I usually follow their lead on the dirty talk arena. There have been times when I started the dirty talk and I’ve gotten these nasty looks from guys. So I just follow.
ThatChick
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 12:49 pm: [report]
I’m more of a porn talker. I guess I’ve never asked him if he liked it. Hmmm…
But being married, sometimes the dirtiest the talk gets (especially if there’s a quickie to be had between putting the kids to bed and the news) is “hey, you want some p***y?” we can’t always be original.
Joey Daytona
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 03:40 pm: [report]
It’s so much easier and less embarrassing if the dirty talk is linked to role-play… KNOW YOUR ROLE!
beardguy
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 06:06 pm: [report]
@ThatChick: Your husband should be, and I dare guess is, happy for your way of doing it. Props to you!
Ewww - parental references is not my thing, at all. :(
For me, I would like if my wife would do some dirty talk, along the lines of that pornstar example - nothing is too crude for me.
Alas, we are quite different when it comes to this aspect of boinking. Her thing is to ask me totally nonsexual questions, and demanding immediate answers. Once, she asked me if I had taken out the thrash. Another time she asked me if i had handed in the IRS statement. *shudder* Not my favorite turn-on.
Thank goodness that there are other areas in which we are compatible.
onewriter
wrote on August 5 2009 @ 03:19 am: [report]
I hate to mention this, but when I was married, I hated sex because I didn’t feel safe emotionally and sometimes physically other times, so I couldn’t really get into it. I often tried to get him uninterested by mentioning the stuff in my head. Usually balancing the checkbook in my head, paying the electric bill or some such mundane thing as you mentioned. You might want to take a step back and see how things are going. Just in case you two are on thin ice and you don’t see it, if you look now, you can get help with it. I’m not saying she’s definitely not into you, I’m saying, with my new partner, I couldn’t balance the checkbook in my head if I WANTED to as I’m so into him, I don’t think of anything but him from the second he touches me. And if I’d realized how far south things were with my ex, or HE had realized that my behavior wasn’t all that conducive to a great sex life, maybe we’d have gotten help. Or I’d have left sooner. I’m not sure which…ha! Anyway, just a thought…I think at the very least, you should sit down with her and tell her what you just told us. Find out if something is bugging her, or if there’s anything you can do to get her into the swing of things more…
mmkw
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 12:12 am: [report]
“You’d never learn that she likes her hair pulled to the left, while you softly kiss her jaw line on the right side of her face.”
Um, if dirty talk is what it takes to get that, I am so on board. That sounds ... mouthwatering.
MadMax
wrote on October 13 2009 @ 02:51 pm: [report]
“papi” and “mami” is how I call my parents (I’m hispanic).... I don’t want to hear that in the bedroom AT ALL!!! A guy called me mami once and I told him to never ever address me that way again… He’s hispanic too, different country and for him wasn’t a big deal. But he understood why it was such a turn off for me.
_jsw_ : love your comments! you should have your own column!