Mind Of Man: Dealing With Her Dad
Posted by: John DeVore
Filed in:
guys
12:00PM, Wednesday October 14th 2009
It is not important for my girlfriend’s father to like me; we are all far too concerned in this modern age with being “liked.” There is no virtue in the pursuit of instant, superficial approval. Her father and I aren’t peers, or buddies, and we’re not dating. I’m the dude who’s nailing his little princess, and our entire relationship is based on one thing and one thing only—that I’m making his daughter happy. One of the ways a man makes his beloved happy is by meeting her dad, something no man likes to do. These meetings are like high-level diplomatic negotiations between nations, rife with courtliness, subtext, and menace. We meet the father not because we want to, but because it makes you happy. And that’s all he wants to know.
When I shake the hand of the twerp who’ll most probably be trying to squeeze my baby girl’s boobs, my handshake will say, “If you make her face leak, I will carve you into steaks and feed you to my poodle.”
It’s an ancient ritual actually, stretching back to Sparta, where warrior fathers forced their daughters’ beaus to fight wolves with wooden spoons. This standoff between men has always been, is now, and always will be. I imagine if I have a daughter one day, I will undoubtedly have to meet young Hannah Solo DeVore’s new boyfriend. Did you know that men can communicate an amazing amount of information via handshake? Some handshakes say, “Hey! I don’t really want to meet you,” and some say, “I can take you down.” And still others say, “I like beer, you like beer; therefore, I like you!” When I shake the hand of the twerp who’ll most probably be trying to squeeze my baby girl’s boobs, my handshake will say, “If you make her face leak, I will carve you into steaks and feed you to my poodle.”
I’ve actually experienced this rite of passage firsthand. I once met a boy my niece brought home when she was a teenager. The kid swaggered in wearing a rakish smirk and proceeded to try and “charm” my older brother, a former Marine. Never try and “charm” a former Marine, especially if he is responsible for half the chromosomes of the woman you’re dating. What makes your girlfriend laugh and swoon won’t make her father do likewise. It’s easy to forget that her old man “charmed” her mother once upon a time, and he is all too familiar with standard douchebag procedure. There are few original tricks to get into a woman’s pants out there; dads are familiar with them all. And they do not like to be reminded of the dirty little ways they use to hoodwink ladies into revealing their fleshy unmentionables. Granted, the guy was just a snot-faced teenager, but that didn’t stop my brother from putting an icy hand on his shoulder and telling him that while 11 p.m. was curfew, 11 p.m. was actually past curfew. I got a taste of the territorial rage; I stood behind my brother, wearing a grim Skeletor face, and had only one thought, “Don’t worry, bro, I’ll dig the shallow grave.”
Over the years, I’ve learned some valuable lessons about meeting the dad. First, as I mentioned earlier, is never hornswoggle a hornswoggler. Remember that there are three men all men despise: suck-ups, used car salesmen, and card cheats. Don’t be any of these.
Secondly, if you’re out to eat, never order the most expensive item; then humbly and graciously, thank him after the meal. If you’re eating at her parents’ house, it is important to eat everything her mother prepares, even if it’s a culinary horror show. I was once presented with a dish of creamed onions, which looked and tasted like poltergeist vomit. I helped myself to seconds. A subset of this rule is: If you’re staying over at her parents’ house, resist all temptation to defile your girlfriend in her childhood bed. I don’t care if you remove the springs and duct tape your mouths shut, Dad will know.
Thirdly, offer respect without any expectation of receiving it back. Sometimes in life, a man has to swallow his pride and smile while doing it. Lastly, and, most importantly, hug your girlfriend if she’s had a bad day, know how she likes her pizza, and encourage her dreams, no matter what they are.
I’ve done this dance with many fathers and I can’t say whether or not any of them really liked me. The truth is, I don’t really care. We have only one thing in common: the heart of the same woman. There is one father I particularly, begrudgingly liked. I went to Thanksgiving dinner at my girlfriend’s parents’ house in upstate New York. He resembled one of the giant stone heads on Easter Island, only less cheery. His handshake communicated a single word, “Punk.” He was an arch-conservative, the sort of guy who thought John Wayne was just a little bit too much of a communist. Now, I’m no spiral-dancing hippie; I’m a proper Texas liberal. I believe in gay rights and gun rights; gays should be able to experience the joys of divorce like everyone else, and be heavily armed while doing it. But, over the course of dinner, he regaled me with his political beliefs. Baited me, actually. And he had fun doing it. I listened, nodded, and asked him questions as a way to keep him talking. When he’d ask me what I thought, I’d reply diplomatically, “I’m afraid I don’t know enough.” This would make him smile, as he knew I was a political junkie.
Later, after dinner, he offered me a drink.
I declined with a civil, “No sir.”
“Don’t call me ‘sir,’ he said.
“Sorry. It was basically beaten into me as a kid by my folks.”
“I take it you don’t agree with my politics.”
I paused, and then responded, “I was raised never to discuss politics or religion in bars, on public transportation, or at dinner tables. Down south, it’s the easiest way not to get shot.”
He snorted, “Do you like football?”
“Not really. It’s just a bunch of meatballs in leotards interrupting my enjoyment of commercials. But I like Broadway musicals.”
“My wife took me to Phantom of the Opera. It wasn’t bad.”
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Lynn
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 12:38 pm: [report]
You need to have a talk with my BF. My dad isn’t friendly to ANYONE, much less a guy with a lip ring who is nailing his daughter, so I told him going in not to expect hugs and beers in front of the game. But because my dad doesn’t bend over backwards with affection every time he sees my BF, BF basically refuses all familial interaction now because my dad doesn’t “like” him. Even when I explain how happy it would make me and how every time he refuses an invidation, that makes my mom sad. And my dad hates anything and anyone that makes my mom sad. So that doesn’t help.
zap76
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 01:04 pm: [report]
“Never try and “charm” a former Marine.”
Read and heed.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 01:11 pm: [report]
Reminds me of the XKCD comic.
laura
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 01:21 pm: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse: ha (love xkcd). forwarded directly to boyfriend.
in a semi-related story, my parents were in town last month and boyfriend more than willingly spent all kinds of time with them. claimed to enjoy himself.
ChocoBoo
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 01:22 pm: [report]
Don’t forget: if you’re dating a ‘daddy’s girl’ (like me)> daddy doesn’t want to be the boogey man who takes away the huge grin on her face by being too mean to her BF.
My strict, weight-lifting, gun-lovin’ dad became great buddies with my man when he realized “this man makes my ‘little pumpkin’ smile.”
I almost couldn’t believe how smooth it all went!
tabby
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 01:43 pm: [report]
My dad once scared away his goddaughter’s boyfriend in one afternoon. This is the reason why I never brought guys home until my current beau, who I will likely marry. I think I was more freaked out about their meeting than either of them were, but it went alright. Granted, my guy works like hell to earn my dad’s respect and it is working. Why does he bother? Because he loves me and knows that it matters to me that they get along. As for my dad, he knows my mom will give him hell if he is too mean to my guy. And we all know that mom is the one who is really the boss.
C.Munro
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 02:15 pm: [report]
Funny, I always kind of look forward to meeting her father. The thing is, if the relationship lasts longer than a couple of months, chances are you’re going to end up at some family functions. And often, such functions break up into gender-segregated cliques at some point. When that happens, I’d much rather be drinking beer and watching the Longhorns with her dad than sipping on a glass of white and having a conversation about Dancing with the Stars with her mother.
SouthOC
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 03:19 pm: [report]
I have four daughters, and have been on the other side of the handshake many times. I’ve had a lot in common with some of them, and we have had very friendly relationships. Others, not so much.
The bottom line is: I want my girls to be happy, and to be with men who will treat them with respect. If they do, they have absolutely nothing to fear. If they have bad or selfish intentions… look out!
writergirl
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 03:20 pm: [report]
My father once sharpened a knife in front of a guy I was dating in high school. Then kept asking why I didn’t have another date for the next three years.
saysay
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 03:35 pm: [report]
Creamed onions? I gag.
wonder_bread
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 04:26 pm: [report]
good piece. my dad took pictures of every guy me and my sister have dated whenever they came to the house just in case he had to call the cops on them *lol* i dont think fathers have to like they guy your with but there does need to be a mutual respect between the two.
SouthOC
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 04:42 pm: [report]
@writergirl: Yikes! I’ve heard of the Dad cleaning his rifle when a guy comes to the door for his daughter, but sharpening a knife? He deserves an A for creativity.
@wonder_bread: I love your Dad! You make a great point about respect. That’s all that really counts.
John: How did you swallow and keep down two portions of creamed onions? I would have fed the first helping to the dog!
majicksand
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 04:52 pm: [report]
When my husband and I started dating 2 years ago, my parents already hated him. We dated 15 years prior, and it didn’t end well. I told them I understood their feelings and only asked that they give him a chance to prove he had grown up. Amazingly, my dad was ok with that. I ended up having to tell my mother that she could either start being polite or the kids and I would not be attending family gatherings anymore.
Now that we’re married, obviously happy, and the mortgage still gets paid, on time, every month, without any help from them, it’s gotten better. My husband and my dad talk football and suffer through card games with my mother and me. My mom is as cordial as she ever is with anyone else. (Well, I wasn’t expecting miracles there, so I guess we’re actually doing pretty well.)
My husband has been very good natured through the entire ordeal. No surprise since he’s always like that. Honestly, I think that if we have a daughter, the boyfriends need to be more worried about me. I’ve got really good aim!
writergirl
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 04:53 pm: [report]
@SouthOC—He didn’t own a gun.
anoldguy
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 05:05 pm: [report]
I hope Mr. DeVore gets paid for writing things like this – whether it’s by The Frisky or some other entity. I often smile, but rarely laugh out loud at what I read on The Frisky, and DeVore is one of the exceptions. I nearly fell out of my chair over “steaks for the poodle.” My only child is now a man of 39, but he was recently blessed with one of the cutest little girls in the long history of cute little girls, and he’s already talking about trying to make her wait until she’s 40 to date, maybe 60 to have sex. I’ve had to remind him that it’s possible, since he’s a little old for first-time fatherhood, that he might not be around to ensure her chastity until she’s 60. I’m 65, so I’m sure I won’t be around to deal with the uproar when his little princess enthusiastically embraces her hormones. He remains staunch in his belief. He also has a knife…
Molly Jean
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 06:58 pm: [report]
Oh lord, this is too good especially seeing as how I’m not only my father’s princess/sweetheart/darling, but it’s the same for my maternal grandfather AND my brother. I have to disagree with my fellow daddy’s girl commenter ChocoBoo, though…the nicest comment my dad has said/will probably ever say is: “hurt my daughter & I’ll kill you.”
Jillybean
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 07:07 pm: [report]
If my dad got along well with any man I wanted to spend more than a few nights with . . . well I would change my mind about my boyfriend.
Love my dad to bits, but I think that’s a relationship that’s got to have a bit of friction.
Aurora Daliwr
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 10:44 pm: [report]
Reminds me of the first time my current boyfriend met my dad. The first thing my dad said to my boyfriend, whilst giving him a rather firm handshake, was, “You got a job, right?”
Later in the night my boyfriend admitted that their initial meeting scared him. But now we’re a year and a half down the road and my boyfriend is now comfortable enough to drink and joke with my dad.
ChocoBoo
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 01:53 am: [report]
@Molly Jean: OMG! Did he really say that to the guy’s face?! :0
The worst my dad ever did was pretend to stretch out real wide so he could pump up his muscles in front of whatever poor skinny, punker boy I’d bring home. Oh yeah, one time he said “Don’t make me bring out the pythons, boy!” LOL. My dad used to think he was the Black Hulk Hogan.
majicksand
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 07:16 am: [report]
@ChocoBoo: I have no doubt that Molly Jean’s dad said something like that. I said the same thing to my BFF’s brand new husband—in the receiving line at their wedding reception. Believe it or not, her mom thought it was cool and said she wished she had a best friend that would do something that ballsy.
P.S. They’re divorced now, and he’s still alive as far as I know. They live 11 hours away, and she handled the chump pretty well all by herself!
SouthOC
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:13 am: [report]
The Mind of a Father:
If you only view the father as some knuckle dragging moron, you’re completely missing the history and responsibility of fatherhood… I can’t speak for all Dads, but here is what I’ve invested into my kids:
- Changing diapers, taking care of them when they are sick, bandaging their boo boos, reading bed-time stories, teaching them to ride a bike and drive a car, helping them with their homework, paying for everything they have until they’re in their early 20’s.
- Talking to them about their troubles, friendships, dreams, helping them to pick a major in college, advising them on how to find a job and nail the interview, and yes, how to spot a loser guy who only wants one thing…
- When my daughters bring home young men, I’m thinking about how this guy will treat them. What kind of character he has. Watching how they deal with conflict, and whether or not he respects her and listens to her opinions.
- I don’t care about his politics, what team he roots for, what is taste in music is, or how he dresses. I only care about two things:
1. Will he be a good husband who can withstand the storms of life and keep his integrity and be faithful to my daughter.
2. Will he be a loving father.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:17 am: [report]
@SouthOC: Loving father? WTF. Why is that a requirement? Why is reproducing necessary? The planet is f*cked enough as it is.
SCRMOM
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:24 am: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse: Maybe you missed the part where he said he can’t speak for all dads - he’s just giving his opinion for his own daughters.
powplz
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:24 am: [report]
@SouthOC - I think that can be a decent charater yardstick given what most people would see as making someone a loving father ... but prepare yourself now for the very real possibility that your children will not want to have children.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:26 am: [report]
@SCRMOM: I’m speaking for people without children. MOM.
SouthOC
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:32 am: [report]
@Cheese: Based on most of your posts that I have read, you’re still in the wise-cracking, life is a party stage of your life. When you get a little older and hopefully wiser, the things I’m talking about will make more sense.
Reproduction isn’t necessary, but most people do it. Yes, the planet has plenty of troubles, but we also have the responsibility to make it a better place within the sphere of our influence. Being a great parent is one of the best ways to do so, and it doesn’t happen by accident.
Mind of a Grandfather: I want my grandchildren to have two parents who have their best interests in mind.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:39 am: [report]
@SouthOC: This is what I can’t convey across the internet. I HATE CHILDREN AND WOULD NEVER WANT SOMETHING LIKE THAT AROUND ME AT ANY F*CKING TIME EVER. I tried, dunno if it worked though.
Molly Jean
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:43 am: [report]
Yeah, it’s bad; I come from a super protective people. LOL. I made the mistake last year of telling my brother where I was meeting a blind date. I found out later that he circled the place several times during the date because he “was just in the area.” Maybe it’s my fault, though. I’m super affectionate/friendly/silly with everyone I meet. I’m hoping though, that my dad’s desire for grandchildren (oh, he wants them bad) will eventually overshadow his super over-protectiveness!
SouthOC
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:43 am: [report]
@Cheese: Understood.
powplz
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:45 am: [report]
@SouthOC - I hope you aren’t running your mouth to your daughters about how much you want grandchildren (unless you’re already a grandfather, in which case your ‘be a good dad’ req is fine) ... because nothing seals the deal on confirming a young woman’s desire to NOT have children like pressure from family.
SCRMOM
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:46 am: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse: This article is about meeting a girl’s dad, and SouthOC is giving his opinion on what he thinks (as a dad) when he meets his girls’ boyfriends. He’s just giving his own perspective on it.
You can’t assume to know what “people without children” are thinking. The reasons that people don’t have children range from 1) don’t want them, 2) want them someday to 3) trying to have them. Even if someone doesn’t want children ever, their reasons might differ from yours.
LOL at the MOM comment - do you really think I would take that as an insult?
GreyWolf
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:50 am: [report]
I had the misfortune (?) of knowing my wife during her first marriage. When we began dating, you could make ice cubes in your hand whenever her father and I were together. He was beyond cold in his treatment of me. You would have needed a bonfire just to get the temperature up to absolute zero.
When we announced our engagement, the temperature rose to a balmy “I-don’t-like-you”. Five years into the marriage, he could almost stand me.
But… when our first child was born, I became tolerable. Now, 25 years later, I think I’m approaching acceptable. And I’m planning on doing exactly the same thing to my daughter’s suitors.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:52 am: [report]
@SCRMOM: No, it’s capitalized in your handle. Durrr.
BTW, I’d totally go get a vasectomy on Saturday if the doctor would actually preform it.
powplz
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:59 am: [report]
@scrmom - If I’m following cheese’s point correctly, the weird thing about S.OC’s posts is that he bases his wants for his daughters’ potential suitors around things that he’s ascribing to his daughters: the desire for both marriage AND children.
Not all women want these things, and based on his comments, he assumes they will. If he knows these things are what they want, then fine. But if it’s just his view that his daughters will do these things and then oooops, turns out they don’t ...
retro chic
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 10:12 am: [report]
Hee hee! Goodness, we have interpretors interpreting the articles and the commenters this morning. “Garçon, decaf for this table – tout suite!”
@greywolf: sooo… your future FIL was less than ecstatic with your advances on his already married princess? Hmm… that does seem unfair… ‘splain please…
SouthOC
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 10:17 am: [report]
My wife and I have great relationships with our grown children’s S/O’s.
Our kids have all been raised to think for themselves, make their own decisions, and take both the credit and responsibility for their choices.
Whether or not they decide to have their own kids is 100% their choice, with no pressure from me (although I can’t say the same for my wife…).
We have one daughter who is already a mother, and another who is leaning toward the no kid route, and we support both of them in every way possible.
Life is good!
majicksand
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 10:29 am: [report]
@southOC: I like your list.
@cheese: I’m guessing southOC knows his kids well enough to know if they want kids or not. At least I would hope…
@joyy: My boys are 6 and 16. I’ve informed them both that I’m fine with either of them being gay or choosing not to have children, but one of them has to provide me with grandchildren. Thankfully, my eldest has already expressed his desire for children at some point, so I’m good.
Bond Girl
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 11:20 am: [report]
My dad is pretty nonchalant about guys so it’d be the easiest thing to meet my dad. It’s my mom ya gotta worry about…
@CheeeeEEEEse: Although I would’ve stated it less harshly, amen to your sentiment on kids.
Jenn27549
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 12:36 pm: [report]
THIS WAS PERFECT!!!
Emmi Vendetta
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 12:56 pm: [report]
As the fiancee of an only child with a very controlling father, it was very difficult to be the nervous female suitor for his only son, his man child. He still hates me (i’m ‘ruining’ his son’s chance to date around), so i think this can go both ways.
but my dad’s the huggy, hand-shakey type but has threatened to kill a few guys who’ve gone wrong. it’s a daddy’s girl thing
SCRMOM
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 02:06 pm: [report]
@joyy: Let’s be honest in that the underlying issue has less to do with SouthOC’s comments on this article, and more to do with the issue that some had with his comments on the NYU student/porn article.
SCRMOM
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 02:18 pm: [report]
@EEEE: Try harder.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 02:28 pm: [report]
@FTBLMUM: That’s what she said.
powplz
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 02:35 pm: [report]
@scrmom - huh? I can’t remember what he had to say there, and I don’t recall any dialogue between us there either.
SCRMOM
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 02:55 pm: [report]
@EEEE: Maybe the clasp was in the front - good luck with that, kid.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 03:00 pm: [report]
@BrazilianMOMSaysGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!: I meant my penis was hard, you missed some subtext.
SCRMOM
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 03:04 pm: [report]
@EEEE: I know what you meant, but I’m just not believing it.
onewriter
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 11:06 pm: [report]
@JDV I have to say that yet again, I’m tickled pink over your article. I’m having to say it before I have even read any comments. It was that good. I can see what you’re talking about too, as although my dad is in poor health, he’s still on the bowling league with my SO, and they talk…lol Carefully. lol It’s funny to watch. My SO is always courteous, but really makes an effort with Dad. Dad is accepting of him, because he sees he makes me happy, but would definitely frown gravely (a big indication of displeasure) if my SO was less than stellar. hee hee!!
ROFL!!!!
I actually startled myself by laughing out loud. hee hee!!
I can’t tell you how important this is. You nailed it. Totally. If you like her, do what she is interested in.
Once again, a bang-up job this week. I will be sending this on. Again. LOL
onewriter
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 11:08 pm: [report]
I forgot to say…almost every week you make me laugh…and every week you make me think. Thank you xx
GreyWolf
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 06:16 am: [report]
@Retro Chic: No, I wasn’t involved with her during her marriage. We just happened to work at the same business. I had actually met her in high school, but didn’t remember her. In fact, her ex and I were fairly close acquaintances… went out drinking a number of time (when I drank), considered going into business together.
Much of his coldness was due to his not wanting her to get hurt (again), his devout Catholicism making it hard to accept her divorce, my heathenism (I’m not Catholic), and my lack of ability (then) to speak French. I do think the fact that I WAS around before her divorce made him suspicious, but raising 3 kids as French-Catholics has slightly warmed him to me, I think.
retro chic
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 09:04 am: [report]
@GreyWolf: Oh, the religious factor. That’s a tough one to overcome – at least his grandchildren are “saved” – and you’ve redeemed yourself. FILs are tough. :/
—-
I only had dates meet my dad a handful of times since the Marines had nothing on him. I’m oldest of three girls and was already used to my father’s experiments in parenting, me being the senior guinea pig. After that, I moved out at a young age and short-circuited that ritual in dating torture, pronto, and never looked back. It was the only way I was ever going to have a social life. I think I wore him down, he was at least civil to my (now) ex and father to his favorite grandchild. He too redeemed himself.
SouthOC
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 09:32 am: [report]
@Cheese: I say this with absolutely no anger, malice, or sarcasm… If this is really how you feel:
I’m sure you can find a doctor somewhere who will perform a vasectomy for you.
Being a parent is the second hardest job in the world, and being a step-parent is the hardest. Although both bring unspeakable joy and happiness, they also require patience, selflessness, and way too many sleepless nights for anyone who is less than 100% committed.
I wish you nothing but the best. If you ever come to SoCal, look me up and I’ll buy you a beer.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:05 am: [report]
@SouthOC: I just don’t see any benefits for me personally. My prerogative.
SouthOC
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:31 am: [report]
@Cheese: I’m not sure if you’re referring to the vasectomy or the beer.
Regardless, I’ve found that I can usually find something in common with almost anybody, and have many friends in which I vehemently disagree with on important issues (I believe it’s possible to have a healthy debate on issues without it getting personal). Since respect for other people’s opinions is something I hold dear, I humbly extend an olive branch.
If it’s the beer you’re declining, you may at some point change your mind, so the offer remains on the table.
A.J.R.
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:35 am: [report]
I’m really glad I wasn’t home when my sister and her boyfriend (now-husband) had to tell our dad she was pregnant. He’s a liberal but VERY Catholic. He reacted poorly and kind of treated her like she’d shamed the family. Let’s just say watching my dad was a master course in how not to treat your daughter.
I lucked out, though. My father-in-law is awesome (mother-in-law, less so).
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 10:55 am: [report]
Anchor Steam or Sierra Nevada please.
BlueVibe
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:12 am: [report]
Ha ha! This column is so Kinky Friedman. Killer!
I’m lucky—my dad (and my brother) are very nice people who happen to look like they could, and would, pound into hamburger any guy who looked at me cross-eyed. They’re [mostly] harmless, but why take the risk? However, they also know that I’m as stubborn and independent as either of them and, if a guy is trying to pull something, I probably won’t keep him around long enough for them to have to worry about meeting him.
Mainer
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 02:55 pm: [report]
The first time meeting my first girl friends dad was when he walked in on us getting it on. The most awkward moment of my life (with a close second being having to actually get dressed in front of him as he kicked me out) was a month later when I had to share a 3 hour car ride with the guy.
Unohoo
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 07:16 pm: [report]
Hannah Solo DeVore… ROFL. I told our daughter a couple years ago that I expect 8 grandchildren from her (she is my only child and I want lots of grandkids). Her response was silence for about 20 seconds then “Done, as long as I get to name them all after Star Wars Characters.” I look forward to the day I can bounce little Boba Fett on my knee…
julychild
wrote on October 18 2009 @ 09:47 am: [report]
In my family, my mother is the one my boyfriends should fear, not my dad.
Perceptible
wrote on October 18 2009 @ 12:03 pm: [report]
As usual, John D. wows the crowd. Bittersweet for me, my dad died when I was 25, leaving me and my 3 sisters, 23, 7, and 5. He was that kind of dad, though. Scared the sh!t our of any boyfriend who dared to come by (or call for that matter, we didn’t have cell phones then). I have a feeling it will be me that instills that fear in my kids’ future bfs and gfs. I guess I take after my dad.
Re: the comments, tho. Why do we have to judge people who don’t want to have kids? I have two kids and I NEVER say to someone who doesn’t want kids, oh, you’ll change your mind one day. Why? Why should they? Not everyone wants to be a doctor or a lawyer or an auto mechanic, but we don’t tell them they’ll change their minds one day. We don’t tell people who DO want kids that they’ll change their minds one day. I don’t get it. In fact, I would be perfectly happy if my kids never had kids of their own. Raising kids is not only hard work, it’s a lifestyle choice. Not everyone chooses it. It’s not like our species is in danger.
Jenn27549
wrote on October 18 2009 @ 12:35 pm: [report]
I’m an only child and a daddy’s girl, but my parents have never been too involved in my personal life. They kind of figure if its not going to physically harm me or end up with me in jail then its my mistake to make. I never really brought many guys to meet my dad, but of my last serious three boyfriends, after reading this article, I can totally see how my dad was reacting until the most recent (who is now my husband). The fact they they did have a good relationship went a long way towards my decision to marry him. The rest of my family mattered, too. I’m the oldest grandchild/niece in the family, so when my grandmother and uncle approved, as well, that made a difference. We’re just a really close family so having a spouse that the family hates is not a good thing—we have a few of those and its miserable.
SouthOC
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 09:16 am: [report]
@Perceptible: I’m sorry for the loss of your Dad.
I don’t think anyone is critisizing those who choose not to have kids. As you stated so eloquently, it’s a lifestyle choice.
Fever
wrote on October 20 2009 @ 09:21 am: [report]
Awww I love this, but I don’t care for my dad so no need to heed any of the above because I Don’t Care what he thinks!! HAHA! My mom on the other hand could replace a dad, and I guess she would not take too kindly to certain men nailing her daughter. She is the one to please in this case.
MuchoMacho
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:04 am: [report]
great article. best lesson of all - dont try to be buddies with the dad of the girl youre porking. he isnt interested. you earn peer status over time. i always showed up, gave a firm handshake, didnt lie… avoided politics, sex or religion chats, although if forced into a conversation about any of them, i made sure to have confidence in my stance.
i know that after the life of jackassery ive lead that i will have 6 daughters, and i know that they will all bring jagbags home to meet me. i think ill make it clear to my future daughters that their bf’s will be coming over to impress me, not to be my buddy, and that as long as they dont bring home a punk, theyll have nothing to fear.