Male Bosses Vs. Female Bosses
Posted by: Catherine Strawn
Filed in:
relationships
2:00PM, Thursday March 12th 2009
Today The Frisky staff got to talking about male and female bosses and what happens when women hold management positions compared to when men do. The discussion started because career writer Penelope Trunk asked the question, “When women get power at work, do they use it like men do?” but she didn’t answer it.
One of the women in our office says she’s noticed that when some less-mature women hold management positions, they get very bitchy and catty, which isn’t the case with older females who have more experience. Is this because some of the only women we see in big, high-profile positions have this “ball-buster” persona, and younger women who want to succeed see this as the way to get up to where they want to be? Martha Stewart certainly didn’t get to where she is by being Miss Congeniality (well, except when she hosts dinner parties, of course).
Another difference we’ve noticed between male and female bosses is that when we’ve worked for women, they’ve been much more willing to act as mentors and offer career advice, creating the equivalent of an old boys club. Amelia worked with a woman who was instrumental in getting her on the right path and in the right frame of mind when it came to work—and she did it through tough, but constructive criticism and encouragement.
Some of the men we’ve worked for, on the other hand, have seen us more as novelties. When I left one job, a guy told me I was “far too cute to be leaving,” which he probably meant as a compliment but sounds kind of creepy. Likewise, Amelia had a male boss who was incapable of looking her in the eye—even when she spoke to him directly.
What are the major differences you’ve seen between male and female bosses, and which do you prefer?
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Goldfinch86
wrote on March 12 2009 @ 03:21 pm: [report]
I like having a female boss, but i respected my male boss better than the 3 females that I have. The females were partial to others and often screamed at the top of their voices at me and others. I was subject to screaming ever day at my one job, needles to say I hoped that she would get hit by a bus before work, but she wanted people to work hard and she was very stressed, but in the end the stress got to her and she yelled even more. My male boss was the most amazing person I have met, he was a art professor once and had the patience of a saint. Even with 2 day deadlines, things not going right, my inexperience in a job he was great. I don’t like having a female boss, I find them hard to talk to and often catty and overbearing, maybe that’s because I’m in New York City.
spanishdoll
wrote on March 12 2009 @ 03:32 pm: [report]
I prefer male bosses, just because I have an easier dealing with male authority figures than female ones. I’m pretty sure it’s because I grew up with a father who’s big, burly, authoritative, stubborn, and temperamental with an underlying heart of gold. I’m not afraid of hard-assed guys, and I know they’ll like me. I assume that because my mom is so gentle and supremely diplomatic (the opposite of my father) I get confused and nervous around women of authority who are really forward or powerful because I’m a little scared of them.
But I’ve had good and bad bosses of both genders, so I don’t think one is better than the other. A good manager is a good manager, no matter their sex.
vegdumpling
wrote on March 12 2009 @ 03:34 pm: [report]
i’ve had good female bosses and good male bosses and of course vice versa. i’d rather have an organized efficient boss, i think that has to do with personality more than sex.
i like to work for people i can respect but since i am a female myself i might be more inspired by a female than a male. i guess it’s easier to see myself in them and envision myself achieving my own successes.
TOO_DOPE
wrote on March 12 2009 @ 04:19 pm: [report]
OMG, The Frisky staff! I had THE BEST male boss for a year at my first real full time job in my industry. I’ve always had male bosses and had amazing relationships with them. I find female bosses very catty towards other women. Especially if they’re younger.
My boss was let go in December because my company is run by a bunch or corporate Nazis. They brought in this total SHREW of a woman to take his place.
She’s so damn condesceding and patronizing. She’s known in the industry too so that makes it worse. Whenever I tell someone I meet that I work for her, they literally wince. She actually made me cry last Monday and asked me to leave the office and come back when I was ready. She was pissed off because I guess I wasnt doing my job to her liking. If the economy wasnt in the #&@$%-bucket its in- I would have left n never looked back.
I kinda feel like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada but without, you know… the amazing hair/skin/outfits.
All in all- I’ve never felt skeevy around male bosses, always had positive relationships with them and had a high level of respect for them. This hateful shrew? Not so much.
P.S.- She HAS to be in her 60’s, has long blonde hair (not natural) and BIG fake boobs. Her face looks like the Cript Keepers’. No lie.
**Shudder**
writergirl
wrote on March 12 2009 @ 04:34 pm: [report]
I’ve only had one woman boss. But in the industry I am in, that isn’t unusual. And she was aweful. Jealous, catty, canniving…..ugh. Single, old, and ugly, too.
This boss HATED me for one mistake—which I admitted to making—yet, she praised me up and down to my new boss when we ran into her at lunch about a year later (I switched jobs, was not fired) and made me out to be a Saint who could do no wrong. The mistake wasn’t that big of a deal—and I had caught and corrected the error—but she wracked me over the coals for MONTHS afterward.
This same woman used to call our receptionist up whenever the woman stayed home because her kids were sick. (Which in the year I worked there was twice). One time, the receptionist didn’t answer her phone, the boss left a message, then grilled the receptionist when she called back ten minutes later. Finally the receptionist put the ailing, sick, puking kid on the phone to prove she WAS home with a sick kid and not taking a mental health day. She had been in the bathroom when the boss called.
Most of the men I worked for were decent. I was smarter than one of them, and he had me fired when it came to the attention of HIS bosses that I was smarter and his job hung on the line. PA is a “without cause” state which means you can fire someone for no reason. Don’t like their hair color? You can fire them. He envoked the clause to save his job.
I got a job less than three days later making more than he did. Guess who had the last laugh?
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on March 12 2009 @ 06:43 pm: [report]
That looks like Anna Torv playing Olivia Dunham on Fringe.
ccs
wrote on March 12 2009 @ 09:50 pm: [report]
I’ve never had a male boss and only two male teachers. I don’t know what to say.
Erin G
wrote on March 12 2009 @ 11:26 pm: [report]
I think a huge variable we’re ignoring is what industry or type of environment are we talking about here? I’m sure that I would have MUCH preferred a male to my female boss when I worked in Accounting at a law firm. But my female boss(es) at the Human Resources place I was at would never be topped by men. They were awesome and an inspiration to me, something my male bosses never have been.
Even in this, this was both office work and there’s a huge difference still, can you imagine other environments entirely?
Arty
wrote on March 13 2009 @ 06:37 am: [report]
Most of my bosses have been male, and I’ve loved them all. Of the three female bosses I’ve had, I only loved one of them. Of the other two, one was bipolar (as in, actually diagnosed) and the other was just someone who shouldn’t have been in a management position, regardless of her gender.
I don’t think their problems had anything to do with being female.
fallenangel915
wrote on March 13 2009 @ 07:12 am: [report]
I generally have gotten along better with my male bosses, but I now have a female assistant manager (the company I work for is owned by a man, though, but he’s great…and I’d love for him to toss me around in the sack, but that’s another story), and she’s actually pretty cool. She has her mood swings, but she and I have a great rapport and I’m very comfortable with bringing her any kind of issues I may have, and she’s even good at giving constructive criticism without making me feel like a dumbass.
Lynn
wrote on March 13 2009 @ 09:20 am: [report]
Honestly, I prefer male bosses. I don’t know why that is. I guess I see a lot of women as catty and irrational - so when a boss (or a professor) does something I don’t like, I decide it’s because she’s a catty woman. Whereas, if a man does something I don’t like, I still get pissed and annoyed but I almost respect him for being such a hardass.
I say MOST here. There are some men I still think are catty and irrational, so their penises don’t make up for the things I think they’re doing wrong.
I know it’s not feminist, but it’s how I see it.
lilo
wrote on March 13 2009 @ 09:48 am: [report]
I’ve had great bosses—both male and female. One difference I’ve noted is I’ve had much more personal relationships with my female bosses, where they seemed more interested in me as a person beyond just me as an employee. I wonder, though, if male bosses are less likely to do that with female subordinates for fear of crossing a line? Also, I’ve got to say, it was kind of fun to actually be able to joke about the gynecologist with my female boss and our female colleagues. It made me wonder what dudes really get to talk about with their male bosses.
vanya
wrote on March 13 2009 @ 10:23 am: [report]
I have yet to have a female boss. Engineering is still a pretty male-dominated field. There aren’t a lot of women engineers, and fewer still in management.
EarthGoddess
wrote on March 13 2009 @ 01:44 pm: [report]
I am very close personal friends with a former female boss of mine. We didn’t know each other before she hired me, but she’s about my age and we got along great from the beginning. She and I used to have daily afternoon “meetings” which meant we’d brew a fresh pot of coffee, sit in one of our offices and chat, go online, paint our nails, etc for about an hour or so. She was the daughter of the owner of the business, so she could do whatever she wanted. It was awesome ... I got away with hardly any work and got paid to hang out with a friend!
I’ve enjoyed working for older men too, mostly because they remind me of my dad, and I’m a Daddy’s Girl at heart. I always felt very taken care of and appreciated.
Now I work for a guy younger than me, and I am the only woman in the entire company. I’m also the only married person with a child. You can certainly tell that I work with a bunch of young single guys ... they need a lot of looking after. Sometimes I feel like I’m half Office Manager, half Babysitter. LOL
lawngnome
wrote on March 14 2009 @ 09:44 pm: [report]
The biggest difference I’ve noted is that female bosses don’t give you the x-ray eyes/up-and-down glance thing whenever they think you’re not looking.
Titi
wrote on March 14 2009 @ 10:53 pm: [report]
I think it depends more on professionalism, experience, and rationality than gender. I’ve had many bosses of both genders, many of whom I’ve come to be great friends with. It’s sometimes easier to get along with males, but females are often better communicators.
Wallenhaven
wrote on May 29 2009 @ 08:48 pm: [report]
I have had both male and female, and what I have noticed is that the females were tougher and micro-managed a lot, but often tended to get more results and promoted further. Especially the under 35 ones. They are very aggressive, feminine, and I think they kind of intimidate people into getting things done. I’ve found that male bosses were always a little afraid of being tough on female subordinates. But the same is not true for female bosses. They have no problem being tough on males.
So, as an employee, I think it’s a little lower stress to work for a male, but if I were the company, I might like female bosses better, for their ability to get results.