In case you haven’t noticed, the stock market took a nosedive this week. The rest of us are left worried about investments, bank stability, and mortgages. But what about the men of Wall Street, who are getting screwed over by their employers: How are they looking to handle this mess? They’re looking to get screwed on Craigslist. Instead of looking for their next jobs, they’re trolling for the hand and blow kind of jobs online. Who can blame them? Life’s too short not to take a half-naked photo of yourself and boast about your Ivy league education on a free internet message board. Some guys are looking to wine and dine a new girlfriend, and some guys are looking to host orgies with posts titled: “Was Laid Off from Lehman Brothers—Sex Party Time!”

The Best Of The Rest Our favorite poster is one Lehman employee who posted a sensitive confession. “Hi, I work for Lehman Brothers (for how long, I have no idea!). I’m just hanging out right now, waiting to see what happens with everything—I have another job already lined up so things aren’t that bad for me… Now that I have a lot of time on my hands would love to take the time to get to know a special girl.” You could be the lucky one, ladies! And he posted a photo, so you can see what he looks like in his underpants.

What About The Ladies? An hour later a “gorgeous guy to lick a Lehman woman” offered his services. “[S]ensuous passionate and athletic swm—model looks—you just got f****d by the government without your approval—isnt it time for someone to make you feel better? 5’11 160 pounds hazel eyes fun and pleasurable.” The women of Wall Street will be beating down his door tonight, no doubt.

It’s A Good Time To Be A Dominatrix “WALL STREET - DO YOU NEED A FIRM CORRECTION?” is what one pro-dom wants to know. If you’re one of those somebodies who messed up the stock market, it sounds like you’re in for a big spanking.