John Stamos Bringing “Full House” To A Theater Near You

John Stamos is bringing down the house…more like “Full House.” The sitcom’s star is working on a plan to bring Uncle Jesse and the gang back to the big screen for a “Full House” movie, but don’t expect Ashley and Mary-Kate to take turns sucking on a pacifier. Stamos is recasting the show for the film version, which he told The New York Daily News “would probably take place in the early years of the sitcom,” which graced TVs across the country from 1987 to 1995. Stamos hopes James Franco will slick up his hair and take over his role as Uncle Jesse. He’d love for Steve Carell to channel Bob Saget as papa Danny Tanner, and for Tracy Morgan to get goofy as best friend Joey Gladstone. After the jump, some of our suggestions for Stamos and whatever lucky writer gets to pen this script.

• Miley Cyrus should definitely play nosey neighbor Kimmy Gibbler, complete with scrunchies
• Uncle Jesse and Joey should realize their forbidden love for each other. (I mean we are in San Francisco right?)
• Lady Gaga should design the costumes for the entire movie.
• Each of Jon and Kate’s kids could play Michelle in different parts of the movie.
• Instead of the death of Danny Tanner’s wife bringing the cast under one roof (major downer), she should just be in rehab, alongside Lindsay Lohan.
• Bret Michaels should do a remake of the classic theme song.
• Family dog Comet should be replaced by a chimp, a la the Kardashians.