Jesus Luz Wants To Deejay. We’re Honored He Wants To Share His Musical Expertise. Not.

Madonna‘s plaything, Jesus Luz, has decided he’d like to become a professional deejay. According to the New York Post, Madge is working hard to help him get gigs so he can be more than “just a model.” He wants to become a DJ so he’s more than a model? I believe the social hierarchy favors models, Jesus. It’s like starting a handbag line 10 years ago (think: Monica Lewinsky). It’s something you don’t need talent to do if you’re semi-famous. After the jump, other celebrity DJs who have gifted us with their turntable stylings.

• Pete Wentz DJ’d at the Pete Wentz Wrap Party at Angels & Kings in Chicago [AOL Music] — You spun at a party held for you at a club that you own? How’d you get that gig?
• Danny Masterson, aka Hyde from “That 70s Show,” spins under the moniker DJ Mom Jeans. [MySpace] — At least his DJ name is entertaining.
• Nick Cannon deejays at clubs around the country. The bonus of hiring Cannon is that wifey Mariah Carey may show up. [People]
• Heidi Montag deejayed in Las Vegas because she ran out of other methods of whoring her fame. [AOL Music] — She tried to be a singer, too. Where’s her fashion line? She needs to get on that.
• It’s bad enough that Lindsay Lohan deejays. Now, her little sister, Ali, wants to get on board, too. [Celebrity Insider] — What else would she do? Stop hanging from her sister’s coattails and find her own career?
• I know you have all been very worried about the fate of Kelly Osbourne. Worry not! She has been reborn as a DJ, appearing at Bardot in Hollywood and other LA night spots. She plays it safe by opting for pop songs everyone knows. [People]
• Clark Duke, from ABC Family’s “Greek” and Michael Cera‘s web series “Clark and Michael,” deejays with the crew Models ‘N Bottles. [Study Breaks] — I think he’s cute.
• Lily Allen spun a set at Sotheby’s in London for artist Damien Hirst’s auction. [AOL Music] — Lily rocks. She’s actually a musician, and it’s super-weird to DJ at Sotheby’s.
• Ryan Gosling has a regular Thursday night gig at Bardot in Hollywood where he plays oldies and indie rock. Crowds show up to ogle him and breakdance. [People] — Commence the Gosling-sexual-harassment stampede.