Jessica Simpson Gets Dumped Right Before Her Ken And Barbie Themed B-Day Party!

What’s worse than getting dumped right before your birthday? Getting dumped right before your Ken and Barbie-themed birthday party!!! This is exactly what happened to Jessica Simpson when Tony Romo broke it off with her. Obvs, Jess canceled the fiesta because, without Ken, Barbie just can’t go on. [People] — We think the spilit might’ve happened when Tony realized he was dating a five-year-old? After the jump, our predictions for what this party could’ve been.

• Jessica would’ve worn one of those pink, frilly dresses that looks like it’s made of cake frosting. Also, a serious corset to get that 19” waist.
• And she no doubt would have dressed Ashlee up as Skipper.
• With any luck, Tony would’ve worn only a pair of tighty whiteys. Yeah, like you ever kept your Ken doll in clothes.
• Jessica would’ve enthusiastically served finger food, like mini sandwiches sans crusts. Perhaps cookies baked in an Easy Bake Oven?
• The song “Barbie Girl” would’ve been played on repeat all night.
• To show off her down-to-earthness, Jess would no doubt have opted for a Barbie sheet cake made at the local Piggly Wiggly.
• Perhaps Jess would have done a surprise song as Barbie and the Rockers?

Hmm, looks like it’s a good thing this party didn’t happen.