I’ve Become A Baseball Widow
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
relationships
10:30AM, Friday October 23rd 2009
It’s only been three months since I got married and, sadly, I’m already a widow — a baseball widow, I mean. My husband, Drew, is a huge, life-long Yankees fan, and if you aren’t following the sport or the team, the Yankees are currently one game away from making it to the World Series. Over the last two weeks or so of post-season, the Yankees have played something like nine games, most of which have lasted over four hours — some have even lasted over five hours. Tack on all the pre- and post-game coverage that Drew likes to watch and we’re looking at roughly 50 hours of baseball viewing in less the two weeks. Fifty hours, you guys! Basically, that’s a part-time job. Or, to put it in terms someone like me can wrap her head around a bit more easily, that’s 50 episodes of “The Real Housewives,” 25 episodes of “The Bachelor,” or 16 viewings of the 2009 Academy Awards!
This is the first time since I met Drew three and a half years ago that the Yankees have made it to post-season. Until now, I naively thought baseball was something I had to put up with from around April to mid-September or so. The first inkling I had that things might be different this year was when we were on our honeymoon about six weeks ago. We’d just enjoyed a romantic flamenco performance and were settling into a delicious late-night tapas dinner when Drew suddenly got serious.
“We’re having a great time, right?” he asked.
“Yeah, of course!” I replied, enthusiastically.
“And you really love me, right?’ he asked.
“You know I do,” I said.
“Remember that,” he replied, “remember this feeling in October ... ‘cause if the Yankees keep playing like they have been, it’s gonna be a lot of baseball.”
Oh my God, he was not lying. Fifty hours! In less than two weeks! And we’re not done yet. Depending on how things go this weekend, there’s up to nine more games to be played in the next two weeks. That’s potentially another 50 hours! Look, I get that this is a passion for Drew, and as a supportive wife I’ve tried to embrace that passion, or to at least show moderate interest in it. I’ve gone to three games with him this season, watched countless games on TV, and learned the names — and positions — of almost every single Yankee on the team. I’ve even memorized stats! Me — someone who, until recently, thought “RBI” was an acronym for “real bad indigestion,” something I get when games go into extra innings and Drew can’t stop screaming at the television.
I wrote in my wedding vows that I’d always root for the Yankees. I guess I never thought my vows would be tested so early in our marriage.
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
A.J.R.
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 09:37 am: [report]
Sorry for your loss, darlin’. I’m a guy and I can think of many, many things I’d rather do on an autumn afternoon/evening/weekend than sit inside and watch sports (or anything on TV, honestly). In a funny twist of events, this has made my college football-obsessed wife a tad resentful when I conveniently “forget” that there’s a game on. I’m only interested in watching our LSU Tigers and only when they’re not playing like utter garbage.
tigerstripe
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 09:38 am: [report]
Aww that sucks. Hang in there Wendy!
bogart4017
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 09:41 am: [report]
Like they say in New York, you hadda know what you were gettin’.
heythere
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 09:42 am: [report]
Don’t worry! he’s all yours in a couple of weeks! if your there and not complaining…later on, when you really need him to sacrfice something, sorry to say, throw this in his face
Emmi Vendetta
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 09:49 am: [report]
I can sympathize. I live near Philly, & this happened to me & an ex last season. I forgot my birthday because of the Phillies… sheesh
powplz
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 09:53 am: [report]
At least you got a heads up! And you shouldn’t feel the need to make this a big part of your life. Let him have it, and use the time to do stuff you enjoy that he doesn’t - whatever it may be.
MuchoMacho
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 09:56 am: [report]
my gf is experiencing the same thing with the nfl season in full swing… i applaud all of you ladies who put up with our moronic love of professional sports.
laurzipan
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 09:58 am: [report]
oh Wendy, i feel your pain! i am a Philadelphia Sports Widow… my fiance is not just obsessed with the Phillies (although lord knows they certainly come first), but also with the Flyers and the Eagles.
let me recount to you a conversation we had about potential wedding dates about a year ago.
Me: “so what dates should we look into for our wedding?”
Him: “well… the Phillies play from April to October, the Eagles play from September to January, and the Flyers play from October to April. so i guess February or March?”
(we got married in November)
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 10:10 am: [report]
GOOOOO PHILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!
Kati-Anne
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 10:14 am: [report]
Please accept my sincere condolences.
Humble Bee
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 10:17 am: [report]
Its OK wendy, The Yankees will loose soon against the Angels and CheeeEEESe SCREW the Phillies! lol.
Just have some beers and you’ll be into it, your husband should appreciate your loyalty, because I used to duke it out with my ex who was a hardcore Yankee fan.
C.Munro
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 10:21 am: [report]
The Red Sox and the Dodgers are out, so as far as I’m concerned baseball season is already over. I do hope Humble Bee is right about the Yankees losing.
Really, this illustrates what I’ve noticed as an entertaining difference between men and women in relationships. Women seem to want to include their partners in the activities they enjoy, whereas men tend to forget their partners are even around when doing something they are into.
equnsuocha
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]
Ever see a cat play with its food?
Yankees = Kitty Kat
Angels = Dinner
The Phillie fanatic should start looking for a safe house. The boyz are back in town baby yeah!
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]
@Humble: Muhahhahahah Dodgers blow.
Article I read before the series called for Dodgers in 6….boy were they wrong. Muhahhahaaha
Wendy Atterberry
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 10:35 am: [report]
@C.Munro, I wouldn’t necessarily agree with that. My husband very much wants to include me in his baseball passion — I just can’t seem to muster as much enthusiasm for it as he has is all.
MuchoMacho
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 10:43 am: [report]
my gf has started to find ways to enjoy football. she didnt know i played linebacker until this season (her third as my gf), and asked how i knew if it was run or pass. i explained to her how i read the offensive line. now we race each play of packer games to say whether its run or pass… sounds dumb, but it has actually helped me make reads faster, and it helps her to have a little game to keep her entertained during packer games! and shes good at it!
Humble Bee
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 10:54 am: [report]
OK CheeEEESe, Dodgers were a big dissapointment. I had so much hope for an Angel/Dodger Series, but that was asking for too much. I love LA and for some reason I just CANNOT stand the Yankees, they seem like the most arrogant players on planet earth. I would Rather the Phillies blow the Yanks out the water than ever see A-Rod hit another homer. I hate that dude, and Jeter, Oh man. Why is he shortstop again? I just have a lot of um, dislike for them.
bumbler
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 11:09 am: [report]
Ugh baseball is the worst! It’s ok when they’re actually playing but every time I go to a game it seems like the batter steps into the box, no he steps back out, now the pitcher isn’t quite ready yet, someone comes out to talk to him for a few minutes, ok the pitcher is ready but now the batter isn’t ready again ARGH! It would be 2 hours shorter if they had a delay of game rule like football. The hubs and I compromise, I go to a couple games a year with him but I also bring a book for the ridiculously long down time.
We had a few problems early in our relationship with football season, being alums of an SEC school he likes to watch college games which are usually on Saturdays and then Sunday is professional and Monday night as well. I made it pretty clear early on that while I don’t mind some time spent every weekend on watching football I would not be spending my entire weekends sitting in front of a TV watching something I’m barely even interested in. Now we’ve reached an agreement, he watches the Gators and the Bills all other games he can check the score after they’re done. And now we usually spend one weekend day doing something like snorkeling that I like.
MarieMacCee
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 11:20 am: [report]
My BF is a LA Sports Fanatic (Dodgers, Lakers, UCLA, and anti-USC every time they even remotely come up in conversation) and after the Dodgers lost I swear he went into mourning. I went over to his apt since after the last game and the blinds were drawn, the lights were off, and he and his best friend were just sitting on the phone in silence, crying. WENDY, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME IT GETS BETTER!!! I currently know more about Frank McCourt’s divorce than I do about the health care bill.
p.s. his future ex-wife is kind of a BAMF-she might stage a coup and take over the franchise. gotta love the ambition
Raugiel
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 11:34 am: [report]
I think its nice that he recognized that he’d be a pain in the butt this year and warned you. self-awareness is a nice trait.
Humble Bee
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 11:37 am: [report]
lol MarieMacCee
get ready for football, LA might be getting a team sooner than we think! The Stadium is on its way… I too drunkingly cried when the Dodgers lost. I love both the blue and the angels. I used to coach a little league team and we were Angels. I loved my little angels.
Oreo
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 11:42 am: [report]
I lucked out to find a soulmate in a woman who loves the Phillies as much as I do, to the point where she likened Pat Burrell’s signing with Tampa Bay as “losing a distant cousin.” She was kidding, of course, but we enjoy baseball as a couple the same way that some couples enjoy clubbing or dancing.
The best advice I can give is to stop tallying the hours and the “widow” talk because you’re only going to drive the both of you crazy. I’m a firm believer that no one should need permission to enjoy their lives.
freepeople1986
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 11:46 am: [report]
Thank god I grew up in a sports obsessed family and had 3 brothers. So not only am I accepting of this, but I tend to be on the same level (knowledge, fandom) as most of the guys. BUT not in that annoying know-it-all,hooting and hollering, obnoxious, wearing a jersey female sports fan who is doing it just to show she can hang with the boys but really sounds and looks like a massive idiot.
Sorry, I really can’t stand those types. Was watching the game last night and there were one too many of those at the bar. Ladies, please, leave the aggressive fist pumping to the guys. You’re not doing yourself any favors.
C.Munro
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 11:52 am: [report]
I could, of course, be completely off-base.
But I’d be willing to bet that your lack of enthusiasm for watching baseball with him doesn’t dampen his own enjoyment of the game, even if he does wish it were something you could enjoy together.
On the other hand, I’ve dated women who couldn’t enjoy watching something they liked with me sitting next to them reading a book. I’d get asked why I couldn’t even try to like what they liked. Not every woman I dated did this, but enough of them to make a pattern of it.
And I think of my friends and I at guitar shows. The guys all end up getting excited and talking to each other about all the cool stuff everywhere while their wives/girlfriends look annoyed and ignored. But even when I’m being dragged by a woman through a shoe-shopping expedition, I know I have to be a participant in the experience because she’ll be asking my opinion of stuff that she knows I don’t care about in the least. And really, I think it’s cute that women (in my experience at least) make so much of an effort to include me in the things they enjoy.
jambadreamer07
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 12:38 pm: [report]
I’m literally in the same situation except im not married yet. Dude, it’s not going to get any better. I am planning ahead and making sure that we don’t get married in october so that it’s not an issue at the beginning of our marriage. I think a November 7th or 8th Wedding will be nice in New Orleans.
What I always do is spend a lot of time with my girlfriends during the play offs. it’s a great way to have a ton of guilt free fun without your hubby. I know that right now you just got married and it sucks, but by the end of next week or so it’ll all be over, and then it will be the holidays… the most cuddly, emotionally bonding time of year (IMO).
and I’m sure you’re aware that the yankees roster is only set to get better in the coming years, so unless CC Sabathia, Mark Texeira, ARod, and someone else gets hurt all in the same year, then they will likely be in the playoffs again for a while. Last year was the first time the yanks missed the playoffs in over a decade. That’s right. So you need to find a major coping mechanism, or demand a compromise.
Squidtermz
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 12:45 pm: [report]
Yankees did make the post in teh past 3 1/2 years… Last year was the first time they didn’t make it in the past like 14 years or something…. So looks like hubby was playing coy until you tied the knot! Don’t worry it will be over soon. Guys have sports that go into the off season. All the girly shows NEVER END! And what’s with awards shows. Seriously? Are celebs that vain and un assure of themselves that they need to constantly pat each other on the bat once a month? I say… enjoy the sport and the spectacle is competitive sports. Yes it can be boring, but so is life.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 12:46 pm: [report]
@c.munroe: You just hit one out of the park with the “off-base” comment.
C.Munro
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 01:12 pm: [report]
I wondered if anyone would catch that.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 01:27 pm: [report]
You don’t strike me as funny.
I’m having a ball with these foul puns.
equnsuocha
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 01:33 pm: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse & CMunro:
I thought you would balk at the obvious material here but intead we got a double play.
Sorry I know I am the outsider here and you all have a “thing” but I couldnt resist
HayleyIB
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 06:26 pm: [report]
I think that in my relationship it’s the other way around. Go Yankees :]
i
majicksand
wrote on October 24 2009 @ 12:18 pm: [report]
Some days I want to throw my husband’s BlackBerry out a window, but we’re so busy all the time, it’s the only way he gets to keep up with everything. I’ll be driving down the road, and all of a sudden he says something random. I’m like, “what? Huh?” He says, “nothing, Baby. It’s just the game/race.” I’ve learned to accept it.
freepeople1986
wrote on October 24 2009 @ 09:21 pm: [report]
The more I think about this the more I get angry! Again, I will preface my argument with the fact that I was raised in predominantly male environment and grew up not only playing sports but watching them intently. I LOVE watching sports for numerous reasons, but in addition to just being competitive by nature: I also find it as an excellent way to make small talk with people. For instance, traveling to different cities for work- knowing the teams from there, knowing how they are doing, etc is an amazing icebreaker.
And the loyalty thing too. It’s great to go out there and really support your team, it kind of makes you feel good, like you’re part of a small little community. Speaking of which, it also connects you to people in yours.
Sports encourages some of the best qualities in people, both on the participating end AND the watching end. I only wish more women didn’t immediately follow the stereotypical idea of NOT being a fan. I am sure if women were encouraged to like sports more they would.
Now, the world IS changing but many businesses (well, I work in finance) are, unfortunately, still dominated by men. A managing partner knew both myself and another analyst (male) were huge fans of the Yankees and invited us to the sit in the company seats. EXCELLENT way to network with your superiors.
adamjs
wrote on October 24 2009 @ 11:52 pm: [report]
It could be worse - instead of baseball it could be cricket. I always feel sorry for my mother during cricket season…
There’s something inherently wrong with a game that lasts a week, and where the entire crowd, who claim to be fans, turn up drunk and keep drinking more just so they can get through day one of five; by day five of five I’m surprised they even remember the game is on.
writergirl
wrote on October 25 2009 @ 06:53 am: [report]
The problem Wendy is you’re still a newlywed. You want to spend time with him and are willing to put up with baseball to do it, even though you want to pull your hair out.
Next year, it won’t be an issue.
maxcapradio.com
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:42 am: [report]
the yanks haven’t been in the world series in 6years…cut the poor guy some slack, just think after next week it’ll be all over until april again. trust me if the yanks lose he won’t be a happy camper. I know it sucks for right now but just grind it out and rout for the yankees because it’ll make your man happy and in the end you’ll be happy to…
LETS GOOOO YANKEESSSS!!!
-DEE
SouthOC
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 03:33 pm: [report]
Dear Wendy: I know you haven’t been married for very long, so let me introduce you to the “Get out of Jail Free Card.”
Having a SO means that you’ll often be dragged kicking and screaming to something against your will, but everyone has their limits.
A couple of times a year, I use the “Get out of Jail Free card” to avoid one of her family get-togethers, and she uses one to avoid my sports parties.
wonderfultonight
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 12:12 pm: [report]
Wendy - it’s all over now, but the celebrating - which lasts a shorter time than the mourning period when his team loses. At he did warn you. Too bad you didn’t rent “Fever Pitch” from Netflix before the wedding. It’s a different team, but this could have made you realize what you might be in for.
For myself, I love sports, so this has not been a problem for me. Like freepeople1986, I was raised in a male environment - Navy, 3 brothers. It has been very helpful in business since I work in a company with 95% men. And travel a lot. I would rather be given tickets to a ballgame and enjoy a hot dog and beer than always go to a high-priced restaurant and talk little but business. (However, I do enjoy that expensive meal once in a while, too. Won’t lie about that.)