It’s Time To Stop Sleeping With A Teddy Bear
Posted by: Jessica Wakeman
Filed in:
relationships
10:30AM, Thursday July 23rd 2009
Dear Gregory,
I think we should stop sleeping together.
This is hard for me, because we’ve known each other forever. I want you to know how special your relationship has been to me: going to London and Prague together, moving into our first apartment, nursing me through that awful sinus infection. There will always be a soft spot for you in my heart. But I’m moving in with my boyfriend at the end of the month and there isn’t room for you in my life anymore.
I’m sorry, Gregory, but I’ve been an adult woman for a while now and it’s time I stopped sleeping with a teddy bear.
Since my sister gave you to me on my 7th birthday, we have spent nearly every single night together. You were my main teddy bear—one of many stuffed animals, but the most special. I pretended you were my husband and we pushed my dolls around in a stroller. When I got a little older, you and I made a pretend mission to the moon together on my bicycle.
But you were there for me during the hard times, too. I used to cry into your fur and even chew on your nose when I was upset—it’s still a little gnawed off. I didn’t have much consistency or someone to talk to about the crazy things happening in my life when I was an adolescent, but you were a constant.
Some girls might have felt embarrassed about their teddy bear in middle school, but not me. I brought you to summer camp, then to college, then to Europe and then to all my apartments in New York City. My dad likes to joke that you’ve seen more of the world than most Americans.
I only stopped sleeping with you every night in the past year because you kept falling out of bed . But the less I slept with you, the less I needed to sleep with you, and thus, you’ve spent a lot of nights this year face-down in my hamper. (Especially when I had men over—hen I hid you where no one could see.) But we still slept together more than most teddy bears and 25-year-olds probably should.
The other night I pulled you out to sleep with once more. I had been tossing and turning and I felt like the only way I’d be able to fall asleep was if I laid my head on your stomach. And that’s when I realized I have no idea what we’re going to do when I move in with my boyfriend in two weeks.
He knows about you, of course. He thinks it’s cute that I’m so sentimental. But I can’t imagine he’d be OK with me bringing you into bed with us, or preferring to cuddle up to you instead of him. He hasn’t explicitly requested that I don’t bring you to bed, but it’s something I don’t want him to have to ask. In any case, I know I’d feel weird about he and I having sex with you just lying there watching. I’ve known you since I was seven—that would just feel wrong.
So it hurts me to have to say this to you—really, it does hurt—but I think we have to stop sleeping together, Gregory. I’ll make sure that wherever you end up (top shelf of the closet, maybe?) isn’t dank or full of spiders.
Love,
Jessica
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bellarose
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 09:43 am: [report]
Awwww! I love this.
Ms.NGuerrero
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 09:57 am: [report]
...thats soo sad!!! I hope i don’t ever have to do that, the hippo i sleep with was givne to me by a boyfriend that passed away :( oh the decisions we women have to make…
=]
Raugiel
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 10:05 am: [report]
Seems perfectly reasonable to me that Gregory get a special, non-bed place to be where you can still enjoy seeing him.
Perceptible
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 10:10 am: [report]
Awww! Don’t give him up! I’ve had my teddy bear since birth, now I’m 39 and Joey still makes an occasional appearance in my bed. But he has a very special place when he’s not and it’s not in a closet! Your teddy bear will never betray you! Your boyfriend, well, you never know.
*sam*
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 10:25 am: [report]
I almost cried a little when I read this!!! It made me think of my beloved ‘Woffie’ and how much I really do miss him!! Although, to be fair, I didn’t just give him away to Good-Will or anything drastic like that. After weaning myself from sleeping with him, he got a special place on my floor with some other stuffed animals. But once my oldest niece reached the age where she was able to walk into my room and pick him up to drag him around by his tail, I realized that it was probably better if I just passed him down than to forever reserve a special spot for him in a spare room or hope chest… So, alas, my dearest Woofie is now in my nieces’ toy chest at my parents… and while I have to sometimes fight the urge to take him back, or snatch him from my niece when she carelessly drags him around or throws him down and even berate her for being so mean to him, I know that ultimately, this is a better place. The three of them will be able to give him more love and attention than I can anymore… :(
Ogbu
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 10:28 am: [report]
This reminds me of Pig, my stuffed pig. For a long time in the 90s it (Pig has no gender) wore a hideous floral patterned Cabbage Patch doll dress. Now it loves to age gracefully nude, as nature intended. First sleepover with the manfriend I forgot Pig by accident and ever since then he has curled up with Pig when he sleeps. (Its been almost a year.)
He says Pig has to stay with him because “Its HER bed now! Don’t take her away from her homeland!”
Swear to god, if we ever broke up, not sure I would get it back.
David Lifson
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 10:44 am: [report]
Awww, Gregory can stay in bed with us… we’ll just have to get a big bed! The top of the dresser could work, too!
Love you,
-d
IrishErin
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 11:07 am: [report]
I don’t sleep with a stuffed animal. I weaned myself in high school. But I do sleep with a small blue star squishy pillow. My mom grabbed it randomly at a dollar store or something and threw it in with a care package she sent me freshman year of college. It was never intended to be a focal point of my bed or anything. Just a cheap something to add to the pile. For some reason, I took to it. I cannot sleep if blue star is not with me. My boyfriend of 3 years fully understands this. In fact, he also likes blue star a lot. He spends at least 15% of his time trying to steal it from me. I think not bitch. Blue star is MINE.
Kathls
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 11:11 am: [report]
I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles with this decision. I’ve had Jennifer for 25 years, my grandma gave her to me for my 1st or 2nd birthday. My grandma and I share a birthday, and it’s hard to believe she’s been gone 10 years, so needless to say, Jennifer was Always the most special of any of my dolls or toys. She’s gone through multiple head-reattachment surgeries (you can still see a bit of shoe lace at the back of her neck), and she still wears the tiny dress my grandma made for her.
She didn’t go to college with me (what if the dorm burned down while I was at class and couldn’t get her)? Jennifer is currently residing at my parents house, but honestly it breaks my heart a little. I’ve felt bad about her banishment from my ‘grown up’ digs, so I’ve been considering bringing her to my apartment. This letter just reaffirms that it’s ok for Jennifer to have a special spot in my apartment, even if it’s not on my bed. Jennifer, I’m sorry that I sent you away, but that’s going to change :D.
Coral
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 11:43 am: [report]
Although I stopped sleeping with stuffed animals when I was about 8, I never did have one special one—I always had many. But I was thinking that when I go to college this year, I’m going to buy a classic-looking teddy bear as a decoration for my dorm room and bed. Who knows, maybe this bear and I will have a connection..just kidding.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 11:50 am: [report]
I was given a stuffed Phillie Phanatic the day I was born (Almost 24 years now) by my father. I’ve never slept with it, but I still have him. Though faded a bit, he still looks awesome.
nicole0X
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 12:50 pm: [report]
I went through teddy bear detachment with the bear I got when I was 7 when I moved in with my boyfriend. But then we broke up, and Teddy got his special place back
alliecat
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 01:15 pm: [report]
This post made me cry, I’ll just say it! Bear-Bear has been there for me through thick and thin, and yeah, especially since I broke things off with my ex, he found his way back into my bed. I got him as a get-well gift from my best friend when I was 10, and he’s seen me through the joys and heartbreaks of adolescense, he’s seen the absolutely gut-wrenching tears of a 19 year old who just lost her mom, he’s seen everything, and he’s always been there!
I gave him a special cuddle just now because of your post - Gregory will be as loved now as he always has been!
I feel like less of a freak for still sleeping with Bear-Bear, thanks everyone!! ^_^
remembercedricdiggory
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:20 pm: [report]
@Ogbu; I swear, I did that with my ex-boyfriend’s teddy bear he’d had since he was three. I did give him back when we went on a break, but the next night I walked to his house in the pouring rain ‘cause I missed Willy (the bear). But I gave him back for good when we broke up a week later. :[
Haven’t seen him since…
relright
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:42 pm: [report]
NEVER
Fluffy will never leave me. Maybe my bed. But then I’ll find somewhere to put him. I’m thinking a glass case hidden somewhere in the decor of my bedroom.
Dom
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 10:15 pm: [report]
I’ve had Xavier for 18 years now. I just can’t sleep without him tucked under my arm. I don’t think it’s any weirder than people who sleep with body pillows. It’s comfortable, and it’s how I get to sleep. Some people masturbate themselves to sleep each night, so what’s wrong with cuddling up to a stuffed, soft item in comparison? To each his (or her) own.
None of my boyfriends ever thought it was weird that Xavier was in bed with us, as long as I gave the boy some cuddling, too.
Some nights, I don’t cuddle up with him and he takes a place next wedged between my pillow and headboard, for easy access if I do need him. I think I’ll always keep him there, even if I never need him tucked under my arm to sleep. He reminds me of my parents and when I was young and that everything will eventually get better (He’s witnessed me going through elementary school as a shy kid, my parent’s bankruptcy, heart break, difficult classes, hangovers…).
Alison Wonderland
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 10:36 pm: [report]
When I’m alone I sleep with a stuffed cow that my Dad bought me one Valentine’s Day. Although I sleep with Moo, like Dom I think it’s comfortable to have something tucked under my arm, I have 3 other animals guarding my bed too. Piggy the music playing pig I’ve had since birth, Theodore Bear was given to me by my best friend in 8th grade after I broke up with my boyfriend, and Puddles the Duck my Mom rescued from the $.99 bin in Mandee’s just a year or so ago. He was too cute to leave there. So don’t worry other stuffed animal sleeping weirdos, I have 4 stuffed animals on my bed… when it’s made that is.
majicksand
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 07:58 am: [report]
I got Tina for my 10th birthday. I picked her out myself even though my mom kept trying to talk me out of it. She holds a place of honor on the top shelf at the center of the trophies, gold medals and blue ribbons from my youth in the spare room.
Sammy is my koala. My husband won him for me at one of those travelling carnivals years ago. He’s ginormous! His place of honor is the top corner of the dresser that I built in my bedroom.
Tina is an unobtrusive small brown bear, so my kids don’t bother her too much. Sammy, on the other hand, is a huge fluffy koala. I have to guard him against sticky hands and all manner of abuse.
I will never pass them along to the next generation. Screw them; they have their own toys! In fact, my youngest has Beebear (who really needs to be washed right now!)
Fast Eddie
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 09:05 am: [report]
NOT and adult thing? Why not? If a harmless emotional crutch makes you feel better, safer and happy what business is of anyone else. My wife has a few Teddy bears and when I’m not home maybe she fills a void with them. As maturity happens that kind of comforting comes from our cats, but that’s just me.
cadyms
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 12:04 am: [report]
My honey got me Max to keep me company during the year and a half when our relationship was long distance. He is now an integral part of our lives! Max tells us about his social life (chasing girl puppies, catching footballs, and going on special cuddle assignments when there’s a sad kiddo somewhere). He has a life and personality all his own, and no relegation to the closet would ever be appropriate!
sportzriter13
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 01:13 am: [report]
awww…this brought a couple of tears to my eyes too! I have a bear named Teddie whose been mine since I was born. The woman who gave him to me joined some sort of cult, and hasn’t talked to us in years, but before that she was a very close friend of the family.
Teddie has a little music box that plays “twinkle, twinkle, little star” when I wind the little key in his back. I swear, that bear has helped me through so many tear-filled nights, and was always there for me to hug. John thinks its adorable, and I’m sure teddie will make the journey if he (John) and I end up living together. I hope to pass him down to my first baby, so they can fall asleep to the sweet sound of “twinkle, twinkle,little star”.
remembercedricdiggory
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 02:21 am: [report]
sportzriter13; That comment made me smile. :]
callmehats
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 02:02 pm: [report]
I’m 29 and I still have my revered stuffed frog that I cleverly named “Froggy”. He sleeps on my headboard now. My mom still has her stuffed rabbit from her childhood. His name is “Happy” and he sleeps in the drawer next to her bed where he has been my entire life. He is the only thing in the drawer. As a child, my mom wouldn’t let me play with him. Sometimes I would peek in his drawer to check him out, but I understood that he was very special and I shouldn’t mess with him.
saxysooner
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 01:49 am: [report]
I’m glad to hear I’m not alone. haha My dad gave me a polar bear (which I so originally named Pola) when I was 2, that I still sleep with today (at age 25). My dad later died when I was still young, so Pola is one of the few things I have left to remind me of him. I just can’t bear the thought of putting him away in a closet!
jackofhearts
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 11:12 am: [report]
I have a Tom Kitten (stuffed version of Beatrix Potter character) which I’ve had for around 2 decades and Eric, a beanie baby penguin given to me by my boyf. Tom lives at mine and Eric at his. They’re here to stay. Boyf is bemused, but accepting… Much more so of Eric since he was named after Eric Cantona (legendary soccer player). I imagine I’ll have to pull a similar trick with our kids..