Is Sex Addiction Real?
Posted by: Susannah Breslin
Filed in:
sex
10:00AM, Friday August 29th 2008
All across the Internet, headlines are hollering: “David Duchovny: SEX ADDICT!” According to Duchovny’s camp, the actor checked himself into rehab for sex addiction this week. Some say the shocker is nothing more than a publicity stunt, designed to promote the September 28th premiere of the second season of Showtime’s “Californication,” in which he stars as a writer with a problem keeping his penis in his pants. But considering Duchovny is married to actress Téa Leoni and the father of two, it’s unlikely even a Hollywood actor looking for a ratings boost would go that far.
While no one knows for sure what Duchovny’s issues with sex are, the story begs the question: Is sex addiction even real? According to Dr. Marty Klein, a marriage and sex therapist, sex addiction is a myth. As Klein sees it, so-called sexual addiction is merely a symptom of deeper psychological issues, and the term is a “destructive and irresponsible” misnomer. “That’s because there is no such thing,” he writes. “Virtually no one in the field of sexology believes in the concept of ‘sex addiction.’” He adds: “The concept of ‘sex addiction’ is a set of moral beliefs disguised as science.”
Sex and relationship psychologist Dr. Petra Boynton couldn’t agree more. As an experiment, Boynton took an online diagnostic test to find out if she fit the profile of a sex addict. Sure enough, she was. In her point-of-view, diagnosis is a slippery slope, in no small part because human sexuality is difficult to categorize. “Now if you’re answering a survey entitled ‘sex addiction’ you’re probably half way to thinking you’re not normal. But also people have no real idea what is normal in terms of sexual behavior.” In reality, sexual desire exists on a spectrum, and what may be seen as “addictive” behavior in one to may be, well, normal behavior to another.
Whether sex addiction is real or not, the bottom line is whether or not an individual’s sexual behavior is destructive to his/herself or to others. If you have a lot of sex, does that make you a “sex addict”? Not necessarily. If your sex life makes you happy, go for it. (Just don’t forget to be safe when you do it.) And if it doesn’t make you happy, the issues behind why that’s the case may be deeper than just sex.
- VH1’s “Sex Rehab” Takes An Unblinking Look At The Sad Lives Of Sex Addicts
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- Quote Of The Day: David Duchovny Talks About His Sex Addiction
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Simcha
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 10:25 am: [report]
If liking sex a lot is wrong, I don’t wanna be right
Vanea
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 10:57 am: [report]
Oh, come on. Aren’t we all addicted to sex? If you want real funny sex addiction read this girl-boy-girl sex romance written by a Harvard Grad about his wife and real Romanian dancers “Caribbean Dreams: TRUE STORY of an Ivy League Couple who Bought a STRIP CLUB in the Caribbean” http://www.caribbeanstripclub.com
simosa
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 11:51 am: [report]
this doesn’t make sense to me…you can have an addiction to gambling and alcohol and drugs…but not sex? Why not? You get a high from it. This post doesn’t make sense to me
gillybeans
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 12:35 pm: [report]
I suppose if the amount of time you spend devoted to sex is adversely affecting your ability to function normally, then it’s a problem or even an “addiction.” Seems kind of weird though. He’s probably just trying to keep his marriage and family together by blaming his cheating on some deep rooted psychological problem that he can’t control. I feel bad for Tea, but the headline also made me laugh out loud for some reason. I can’t imagine what that rehab is like.
lilo
wrote on August 29 2008 @ 12:42 pm: [report]
i wonder what a ‘sex addict’ does. is it just all the time? is it with things like patio tables? clearly, it involves cheating. duchovny is gross. how do these great ladies like Tea end up with such losers. where are the men with integrity?
Paul W
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 10:12 am: [report]
I’m not an expert, but I see addiction as either the pursuit of a short, intense physical pleasure, or a less intense, but prolonged satiety. The first describes cocaine addiction as well as the addiction to orgasm. The second describes heroin, nicotine, alcohol and conquest or after-sex intimacy.
When you start structuring your life to service these needs, spending a lot of time and effort on a daily basis just for the setup and rituals, and you care more about the setup than you do your family, your job, and your life, that’s an addiction.
Even if you don’t, if you’ve had sex on more nights than you’ve had days in a relationship, you’re addicted.
So yes, it’s an addiction. No high-fiving please.
Morgan
wrote on August 31 2008 @ 01:40 pm: [report]
Frankly, things a lot of people are terming “addictions” seem to me to be a simple lack of self control. Rather than say, “I must control myself, because it’s the right thing to do and it’s my responsibility to do so,” people say, “It’s an addiction! I can’t control it! (so now I don’t have to! woohoo!)”
Calling it an addiction absolves them from responsibility for their actions in their own minds. Not necessarily a healthy thing, imo.
Morgan
Mr. M
wrote on November 14 2008 @ 09:53 am: [report]
I think that the issue here is that for “some” people it’s not a matter of “view-and-go”. They view, and suddenly they can’t wait to view again. The addiction to porn for example leads men and women to lose jobs, families, trust, and self respect. In some cases porn addiction will lead to criminal activity, as can be found all over web news these days.
As co-founder of My Internet Doorman, a company dedicated to educating parents and teens about the True Dangers of Internet Porn, I have heard many first hand accounts from adults who have themselves lost their jobs, spouses, and their self respect because of this porn parasite. Several clients have compared porn to cocaine, in that they will risk anything to get a fix; this clearly indicates a loss of control.
For these individuals it is not an option, it is important to filter the internet, block porn, and avoid exposure to all inappropriate material.
Mr. M - My Internet Doorman
Mackenzie
wrote on January 29 2009 @ 02:42 pm: [report]
Ok, I know this is an old post, but I’m new to the site and reading through past articles. Number one, I am confused and offended by the article. I completely agree with the above poster who asked how things like gambling and drugs can be addictions but not sex. Anything that gives you a high can be an addiction.
Number two, I am incredibly offended by some of the responses. As someone who is in therapy for a sexual compulsion, I’d like to say that it is real. We’re not just making up a name so that we can excuse ourselves from responsibility—that is a feelingless and ignorant thing to say. It’s like saying people who are depressed just don’t have enough control over their emotions and should just buck up and smile. Would you ask that of someone about to attempt suicide? Never. And “not necessarily a healthy thing, imo”? Duh. Addictions, by definition, are unhealthy.
Lastly, thank you Paul W for your informed and polite response.
MorganBard
wrote on January 29 2009 @ 04:47 pm: [report]
@Mackenzie,
Apparently, you missed the entire point. I did not say the so called addictions are unhealthy, I said that calling it an addiction that absolves them from responsibility for their actions in their own minds is not a healthy thing.
As for being offended, that’s your issue. Frankly, I’m offended by the huge numbers of “sex addicts” that go around making zero effort to control themselves and then using their “addiction” as a defense when they get caught flashing women or wanking outside of some poor child’s window. “OMG! You can’t put me in jail, it’s not my fault.. I’m an aaaaaadict!!!”
You think that’s healthy, you got the problem, not me.
Morgan
Mackenzie
wrote on January 29 2009 @ 11:20 pm: [report]
I never claimed that what you’re describing is healthy either, but you’re also describing exhibitionists and pedophiles—not sex addicts. You clearly don’t understand and don’t want to so I won’t say anything more.