I Hate My Curly Hair
Posted by: Leonora Epstein
Filed in:
style
9:40AM, Tuesday November 3rd 2009
“You have curly hair?!” shrieked my friend of one year, Milena, when I told her the truth about my locks. “Yeah. It’s true. I totally do. I just straighten it all the time,” I said with a sigh. For the most part, I’m an open book, but the one thing people tend to not know about me is that the Leonora with the sleek, angled bob is, in fact, a curly-haired freak. It’s not like I purposefully keep it secret; it’s just that I never wear my hair that way. Ever.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore women who rock the curls like Blake Lively, with her loose, goddess-like waves, and Taylor Swift, with those cute ringlets. Unfortunately, my natural mane looks nothing like this ... not even close.
Let my hair air-dry and it looks like a mess of limp waves. If I sleep on it wet, I wake up with a crazy, scrunched-up mess that almost stands up by itself. “You look like a mad scientist,” my sister once told me when I groggily wandered into the kitchen one morning. I must have inherited some weird mixed gene. My mother, on the one hand, has a full-on Jew-fro that reaches three inches high on good days; my father has normal guy hair with just a touch of a wave. This combination somehow gave me a head of hair that doesn’t quite achieve mom’s bounce (some parts in the back are even straight). I’ve tried just about everything to style it—hot rollers, curling irons, bedhead looks, beachy waves. In the end, I just look like I haven’t washed my hair in about a week. (And not in that cool, dirty hipster way.)
As a result, I’ve been armed with John Frieda’s Frizz-Ease, a round brush, and a blow dryer since the age of 12. For a while, I had long hair, which I either blew out after each wash or put in a tight bun. When I cut my hair to chin length a few years ago, I made the look even sharper with the daily use of a flat iron (yeah, not too great for your locks). Probably only a handful of people have seen Curly Leo.
I don’t really know who that girl is, come to think of it. I only know myself as the person with sweeping bangs who looks back at me in the mirror. I do start to wonder if the continual transformation makes me a different person. Is it bad to hide who I really am? Something tells me that it is wrong, that Curly Leo would give off a more confident and relaxed vibe. But in the end, I still find the straighter girl to be more attractive.
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intuition
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 09:48 am: [report]
I rock my naturally (crazy) curly hair! Mostly because I am too lazy to straighten it.
bellarose
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 09:54 am: [report]
I have naturally curly hair and I love it, it doesn’t always agree with me in the mornings especially if I go to bed with wet hair, but that’s when I bust out the straightner OR curing iron! I like to emphasize my curly locks with tight or loose curls, or straighten it depending how I feel. Life is about variety, we curly gals should be thankful we have the option of wearing waves or sporting the straight! I always have to wear product though no matter what to keep my hair frizz free and looking fly…
TinaLish
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 09:58 am: [report]
When I was younger my mom used to always blow dry my hair because if it was left to naturally dry, then it would take on a mind of it’s own. It was always frizzy and extremely curly. I think my hair is a degree below a brillo pad on it’s worse days.
My poor mother would always blow dry it so that it would be slightly more manageable. All the while somehow still retaining it’s frizz. That was until John Frieda came out with Frizz-Ease. And learning of a straightener.
Now that I’m grown and on my own, I’ve learned that having curly hair isn’t so bad, when my hair is pretty long. I’ve found using Pantene products as well as John Frieda help to tame the curls to be a little less scrunchy and a little more loose.
I know how to manage my curly hair now, and sometimes I wear it out that way. Luckily for me, I live in a state where there isn’t any humidity, but take me back to where I grew up in B-town South Carolina and it’ll go crazy outta whack.
In short, I have to say that although straighteners are muy bad for the hair, they do make life a lot easier when it comes to styling. I’ve thus accepted my hair as curly as it is, and I love it all the time now.
The end… =)
whatshesays
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 10:05 am: [report]
i slept on my hair wet this morning, it is presently in the state of “a crazy, scrunched-up mess that almost stands up by itself”. =) Yeah college, where no one cares… but in high school I definitely straightened it. every. morning.
Lynn
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 10:14 am: [report]
I have pretty wavy hair but I straighten it too. I tried going full-on wavy this past summer but in the end I went back to straightening it. When the waves looked good, it was awesome - but when they would deflate or parts would fall straight or whatever (which happened about 30% of the time), I just looked like I didn’t care and I would pull it up in a ponytail until I could reach for a straightener. Maybe it’s boring, but I like that I can predict how my hair will look straight, and I don’t have to cross my fingers that I’ll look presentable.
moonblossom
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 10:15 am: [report]
After growing up in the desert with a childhood of bad hair I spent the last 3 years on the east coast near the ocean and my curls were actually OK. I thought it was because I was older and knew how to use my hair products better. Then I moved back to the desert. Now I know the older, wiser use of hair products had nothing to do with it. Its the humidity that counts. This arid climate makes my curls flat and frizzy at the same time. Its hideous. Unless I want to rock a bun all day I have to straighten it. What I wouldn’t give for smooth-as-glass, shiny, straight hair [sigh]
lea322
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 10:26 am: [report]
I straightened my hair every day for several years. It sounds like we had similar hair: a wavy, curly, partially-straight mess. Then two summers ago I was out at a lake with some friends and my hair got wet (NIGHTMARE!) As it dried naturally during the day, every one kept saying how surprised they were at my curly hair and that they couldn’t believe I’d been hiding it. When I finally saw myself in the mirror I was totally shocked at how much more uniform the curls in my hair had become! Since then I’ve learned how to style it better and wear it curly almost every day, since it’s so much easier. The trick for mine is to rewet it once it’s dry. I get my hands wet and then scrunch up all my hair with my fingers. For some reason this really helps.
All this to say, your hair’s texture changes over the course of your life. It might not hurt to let it air dry or sleep on it wet on a weekend, just to see what it does. You could try playing with different products or styling techniques if you want. And then if you don’t like it, straighten it…but try again in a few months or a year. You never know!
skeddy
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 10:31 am: [report]
Oh gosh, I could talk forever about curly hair! I didn’t learn to love mine until recent years, and now it’s part of my identity; it’s part of the definition of me.
Getting your hair to look fabulous is all about trial and error with products and techniques. There is an abundance of info on http://www.naturallycurly.com - I recommend finding your “curl type” first (I’m a “3A”). From there, you can use that number to see reviews of products by Curlies with your same type of hair. And the message boards there have oodles of fantastic info too.
Rock those curls - they make you fabulously unique!
H. Blue
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 10:38 am: [report]
I have always wanted curly hair. Some people envy what you think of as a mess.. I’m not sure anyone’s usually 100% happy with what they’ve got.
lilrockgoddess4u
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 11:19 am: [report]
*Sigh* I also hate my curly hair but it’s too long not to rock the ringlets (hangs past my butt). It’s funny the pic looks just like my hair, color and all.
chloe
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 12:36 pm: [report]
i fought my curly hair for a long time. it takes a lot of trial and error with cuts and products and the right amount of faith. sometimes it looks like crap, sometimes it looks amazing, sometimes i love it, sometimes i hate the fact that my friends can wake up in the morning and go. but the few times i have straightened it it doesn’t look like me. so i embrace it.
sweetfrancaise
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 02:06 pm: [report]
I love my curly hair, especially after reading the book “Curly Girl” and learning how to manage it. I had weird hair for years, half between curly and straight. But the secret is: no shampoo, only conditioner, some leave-in spray, curl cream—my hair looks great. Once in a while I’ll use a curling iron to enhance the straighter bits. Maybe you should try to wean yourself off so many products, and see what your hair does without being stripped and heated? It would be worth it, to rock curls.
elizabethmarley
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 02:50 pm: [report]
I can’t even talk about my hair. It’s thin, yet wavy. If I curl it, it falls. I could use ten pounds of product in it, but it all disappears within an hour. I have cowlicks all over the place.
But I blow dry it often and straighten it every day and no one knows!
bumbler
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 02:59 pm: [report]
I love the look of curly hair but I’ve accepted my stick-straight strands. The only problem is I have a little patch underneath my hair that is pretty kinky. No matter what I do it just kinks, snarls and splits. Grows right out of my head like that. Nice to see some other people have…combination hair, I guess?
Fiend
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 03:57 pm: [report]
Embrace the curls!
I used to try everything under the sun to get my hair to stay “in line”. Straightening daily, various wonder shampoos and balms… it’s all rubbish!
Curly hair needs to be treated differently to straight hair. Firstly, abandoning shampoo can work wonders. If you Google “shampoo free”, you’ll see what I mean.
Washing with the baking soda/vinegar method in the morning, applying a little mousse and allowing to air-dry creates absolute curly perfection.
Oh, and the Curly Girl method is good as something to fall back on.
Mariabeth67
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 04:00 pm: [report]
Leo- I’m pretty convinced you’re my long lost hair twin.
loveitlala
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 04:48 pm: [report]
You could *definitely* have gorgeous waves if you knew how to do it. It took me years (10?) to get mine right, but now it’s cake and almost always perfect. Talk to someone who can style curly hair (they are hard to find) or a friend with waves. It is possible… your hair is actually the easiest of the range.
Olivia Allin
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 05:47 pm: [report]
I’ve got the awkward waves too! It tends to look like I’ve crimped the back, so I’ve been straightening it, and often hot-rollering it curly for years. It’s such a pain, but thanks for the site @skeddy!
BombshellMomma
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 08:04 pm: [report]
I have naturally curly hair (I’m actually the prom queen in the Halloween pictures, if you want to see HOW curly… and that was with them blown out for an added silly factor) and I have tried EVERYTHING in the past to “tame” the mane. It wasn’t until I had my hair chemically straightened and it literally broke off in handfuls from being so damaged when I was in high school that I embraced what I was given. Even so, the hair never gets longer than my shoulders or it turns into a lank, stringy, frizzy mess no matter what I do to it. So I feel your pain!
Laurel
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 11:11 pm: [report]
You are crazy. I LOVE curly hair. Your hair has *volume*! Your hair has shape! You can always straighten yours. Mine won’t hold a curl for longer than about an hour, even with high heat and tons of product. Count your blessings!
mmkw
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 12:11 am: [report]
I agree with the other posts. I hated my wavy/curly locks for a long time but it’s really about finding which products work for you and not drying out your hair. A lot of trial and error. Also, one word: Diffuser!
Here is my tried and true techinique:
I put in a curl creme (bumble and bumble), put my hair in a towel and it absorb the creme for ~15min (this is when I do my makeup). Then, I scrunch in a styling mousse. The key though is the final step of using the diffuser on your hair drier’s low setting. Flip your head, scrunch up a handful of hair, apply the diffuser for about 8 seconds. Then move onto the next handful of hair until your head is mostly dry. For parts that don’t curl on their own, wrap the hair around your finger and then position your diffuser so that you can remove your finger and the hair will stay in shape (hold for a little more than 8 seconds). After you’re done, SLOWLY turn your head right side up. It will be really big at first but it will go down. I also suggest finishing it off with a shine spray like Camera Ready by Curls Rock.
The best part of this is that it’s so much easier on your hair that when you do style it straight, it will look a lot healthier. Also, this takes me half the time of straightening it.
Ghirardelli
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 12:16 am: [report]
I have long, crazy curly hair. It’s dark chocolate brown and I don’t have to do anything to it.. Maybe a little mousse here and there, but other than that, I just let it air dry and walk right out the door. It’s all good. And then I get home.. And I look in the mirror. Usually it’s frizzy and poofy at the end of the day, and I hate it. *sigh* I’ll take my curls over straight hair though (although it’s nice to change it up once in awhile) because I am used to my hair.
foxxxyrae
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 12:28 am: [report]
I still don’t know how I feel about my curly hair…I like my hair short and it is literally unmanagably curly, but on the other hand I have acquired the nickname “Betty Boop” because I have short black hair that curls out like Betty Boop. *sigh* I don’t know what to do
Meg
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 08:14 pm: [report]
My hair is really thick and wavy and gets curlier in phases (like when it’s shorter or humid out). I really was starting to like my long waves but for some stupid reason I cut it really short with tons of shaggy razored layers. Now it totally sucks to style, because using a flat iron is not an option any more, I have to flat iron or curl it otherwise it will stick straight up or turn into a big cowlicked mess.
So I guess I’m saying that curly/wavy hair really can depend on your cut. If you have a great one that complements your hair then that makes all the difference. But if you get a cut that doesn’t go with your hair type then you’ll be fighting the curl for the rest of your life.
Ask Nick Arrojo from What Not to Wear, he’s a really good celebrity stylist who knows what kind of cuts work for different hair types.
freepeople1986
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 04:25 pm: [report]
You must consider getting a Brazilian Keratin treatment. I had hair that sounded very similar to the author’s, but I didn’t necessarily hate it because I knew how to style it- it’s just that it took a while, whether I wore it straight, wavy, or curly. I could NEVER EVER EVER EVER sleep on it wet- it would be horrifying.
So I got the Keratin treatment because I didn’t want to lose the curl, but I did want to to tame my hair and cut back on styling time. I know it ranges anywhere from $250-$600, my salon charges $350. It is SO WORTH IT. I can blow dry my incredibly long, thick hair pin straight in about 6 minutes. I can also let it air dry into soft little waves, which get Blake Lively esque with a little help from the curling iron. As for super curly, it works, but it’s very soft, I like the ringlets a little tighter- perhaps my only complaint.
But, overall, my hair is shiny and frizz free! It lasts for 3-4 months.