How Will History Judge The Style Of The ‘00s?
Posted by: Ali Jawin
Filed in:
style
8:30AM, Monday July 6th 2009
Yikes! With less than six months to go, the end of the decade is rapidly approaching. This past decade has seen many fashion improvements since the 90’s. Give yourself a pat on the back. Now it’s time to get to work. We have less than six months to eradicate some of the more embarrassing trends from the past years. Banning dark lipstick, heavy foundation and the anchor woman haircut were impressive achievements, but not nearly enough to forgive all our other fashion sins. Here is a list of styles and trends that must be destroyed as soon as possible. If we stop wearing these items now, history may forget that they ever existed, or may at least look kindly at the fact that we recognized the error of our fashion ways and attempted to repent before it was too late.
- Crocs: The greatest fashion atrocity in the history of the U.S. since the fanny pack. My boyfriend has actually just informed me that they are huge in Israel and gaining popularity in France. Zut alors! The U.S. once again pollutes international waters with our trash. I love my shoes, but I am not so insistent upon wearing heels all the time. Sometimes a ballet flat or metallic flip flop is even trendier than a heel. Comfort does not always have to be sacrificed for fashion which is what makes the Croc so particularly heinous. There are so many options for comfy and cute shoes out there! There is nothing redeeming about Crocs. I would suggest burning them, but they are probably inflammable.
- Bubble Skirt : I actually don’t have much of a grudge to bear against the bubble skirt. Right now I actually think it’s pretty darn cute, if very difficult to pull off. My historical complaint lies in the tragic fact that I don’t think history will get this look. In all honesty I think cultural historians will assume we were off our rockers. Bubble skirts amplify what many women which to underemphasis: tushes and thighs. These fluffy numbers bubble out the very part of our body we wish would bubble in. Bubble skirts are also not the most practical of its kind, as the narrowing at the bottom has the same leg constricting effect as a pencil skirt. I also have yet to figure out how to dress and style a bubble skirt. What sort of shirts, shoes and accessories work with such an odd silhouette befuddles my brain and probably the brains of future fashion historians.
- Leggings: I loathe the day leggings were resurrected from the 80’s. I am a total hypocrite as I regular don these not-quite-tights, but I am not a happy camper when doing so. I don’t think they are the most flattering silhouette on most, and even if you happen to be lucky enough to rock this look, confess, are they really that comfortable? Also, they are routinely responsible for camel toe.
- Uggs: Darling, I know it’s cold. Trust me, I went to college in Siberia aka Vermont. People claimed to wear Uggs in the blistery cold winter as they were practical, functional and somewhat fashionable. I could almost bear them in the snowy months, but I was utterly disheartened to see girls donning Uggs even after they put their winter coats away. I was downright livid when I saw the most horrific fashion crime of the decade: Uggs and miniskirts. Really, I only rant about Uggs during the winter occasionally. I understand that fashion can’t come before function when there is five feet of snow outside. You are excused. There is, however, no excuse whatsoever for wearing Uggs and miniskirts. If you are wearing a miniskirt it can’t be that cold out. There is no method behind this fashion madness.
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Taurwen
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 09:06 am: [report]
I hate Uggs with a fiery passion. I try to restrain myself from tearing them off of people when I see them on the street. And to hell with ‘it’s cold outside” there are plenty of boots that keep you warm and don’t make you look utterly ridiculous.
cattgirl813
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 09:36 am: [report]
Bubble skirts and leggings were FTDs (fashionably transmitted diseases) from the 80’s that flared up again in this decade. I’m sure fashion judges will condemn the belly shirts (worn by so many who didn’t understand that if you had a belly, you had no reason in a belly shirt) and super low cut jeans that were such a fashion staple at the beginning of the decade - and the tragedy that was the muffin top and visible thong line. Crocs could be ignored until someone came up with the croc jewels and doo-dads designed to dress up something that could NEVER be made to look good. I’ll be so glad to see those go away. And the less said about Uggs, the better.
musu
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 09:38 am: [report]
Actually, the bubble skirt fits into our culture in an anthropological sense. Since our primary function is to continue the species,the bubble skirt, on its most primitive level, emphasizes a woman’s ability to bear children and is meant to make us more attractive to men in the most primeval way. Just think of all the fertility figures you have ever seen in any museum or art history book. I can’t believe I just made this up!
intuition
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 09:58 am: [report]
My younger sister wore Uggs, a mini skirt, and….leg warmers. Just wear pants if you are that concerned about staying warm.
mlyway
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 10:25 am: [report]
Although I despise leggings, I adore legwarmers - but I am a dancer so it all makes sense. But some people simply so not know how to wear leg warmers.
Oh and I cringe everytime I see someone wearing spandex leggings as pants - no one wants to see an extremely tight view of your legs and butt, even if you do have the body.
lea322
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 10:58 am: [report]
Leggings as pants = gross
Leggings under a skirt or dress = fine with me…it’s like wearing tights. But the camel-toe factor alone should be enough to deter people from wearing just plain ol’ leggings by themselves.
Uggs in the winter…do what you need to do. Any other season, ESPECIALLY with skirts, is just wrong.
And Crocs…oooh Crocs! My dad got a pair YEARS ago for gardening, which is what they’re actually for. Luckily, he doesn’t wear them outside the back yard, but he did ask me if he was fashion forward and trendy now. Umm, no. Sorry, dad.
BeASimpleMan
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 11:11 am: [report]
I’m a croc hater as well, but I can’t really throw stones since I wear Vibram Five Fingers to work out… they do serve a purpose but they are quite odd looking and they are hard to find in colors that don’t attract attention.
Ali Jawin
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 11:24 am: [report]
I agree with you all that leggings are not pants. They are sometimes easier to wear under dresses, but they are not a bottom alone. Jeggings are one thing, but leggings…
retro chic
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 11:29 am: [report]
I have *never* liked the explosion of camo prints of any kind – a continuous fashion faux pas running from gritty real to Barbie pink printed on *everything.* RIP. So distasteful on so many levels.
@lea322: cute croc dad story. Oh, let him believe
joyy
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 11:37 am: [report]
“There is, however, no excuse whatsoever for wearing Uggs and miniskirts.” THANK YOU! I have spent my entire life in cold-winter climates, and this continues to baffle me.
I have a few friends who wear the ugg-style boots in the winter or the shorter ones around the house as slippers. As long as they stay under the jeans, I say kudos to your warm happy toes.
MissMissy
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 11:40 am: [report]
Ok Ok Ok… I will catch some heat, but I wear my Payless-uggs pretty much ONLY when I hit a movie. They keep it sub-zero in there and I get cold very easily. I don’t even call them “uggs’, ‘ugg knock-offs’, or what have you. They’re my ‘Movie Shoes’ ... and that’s what my family & friends call them.
cattgirl813
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 11:47 am: [report]
Wearing Uggs and miniskirts together is like wearing a sweatshirt and mini/shorts. It’s fashion schizophrenia - either you’re hot or cold, pick one.
mlyway
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 12:44 pm: [report]
I agree that Uggs and miniskirts should not be worn together - however I often wear boots (not uggs) with miniskirts in the winter and with black/colored tights. And I often wear a sweatshirt/jacket with shorts. In fact I’m wearing a long-sleeve cardigan with shorts right now. I don’t know about other people but only my arms get cold really. Plus if it is really freezing outside, I stay indoors most of the time. I live in Boston and I don’t want to never wear my summer clothes - I feel like the winter is half the year—plus I am accustomed to colder weather so I do not get as cold easily.
Nefret
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 06:54 pm: [report]
OK, I have to say one little thing in defense of Crocs - next to boots, the are the BEST hiking shoes!! I used to keep flip flops clipped on my pack for crossing streams, etc, but I’d always end up losing one in the current and it is no fun trying to get over wet rocks on one bare foot. Crocs, on the other hand, don’t fall off and have better traction. So for everyday footwear, no way, but I’d be devastated if they went away altogether :-(
prgirl
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 07:38 pm: [report]
I teach high school and it’s just a parade of fashion crimes. In my school, apparently it’s fashionable to wear Uggs with shorts and a tank top in 80 degree weather. I always just think their feet must be stanky! And when an otherwise clueless 18 year old boys notices and comments on the inappropriateness of someone’s wardrobe (those aren’t pants! why are they wearing them?), you know it’s time to retire the leggins;)
_jsw_
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 07:51 pm: [report]
@BeASimpleMan: I thought I was the only one who wore Vibrams. I no longer feel alone, and I doubt they’ll become a fashion faux pas, although the toe socks that you can get for them can be a bit… out there.
miss game
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 08:51 pm: [report]
FYI- UGGs are meant to keep feet comfortable in weather up to 75 degrees… I love mine.
and my crocs.
sorry.
TotallyRidiculous
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 10:38 pm: [report]
I always figure girls who wear miniskirts with uggs just want to look slutty and think they are being subtle. But wearing leggings as pants I cannot figure out. Just because your shirt happens to hang barely past your lady bits doesn’t make it a dress, ergo: you must wear PANTS also. It’s like they have an almost dress and almost pants, so they think if they put them together it makes an actual outfit like .5+.5=1. NO: almost dress+almost pants = almost fully clothed.
PS: I’m concerned this whole Jumpsuit thing isn’t going to to stop. It’s insanity. WHY? Why would you wear something that forces you to completely undress when you use the bathroom??? I figured out I didn’t like getting naked just to pee when I was four.
BlueVibe
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 11:00 am: [report]
Crocs for hiking?? How about, um, hiking boots?
I don’t mind leggings as long as they are worn under an actual lower-body item of clothing, like a skirt or dress. But they are *not* pants.
Bubble skirts, Uggs, and Crocs need to disappear, though. As does Emo hair.
joyy
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 11:05 am: [report]
@BlueVibe - not all hikes require full on boots, and if I’m doing something that involves water, I sure as hell don’t want to be spending the rest of the hike with soggy waterlogged boots. It’s why I love my Chacos
Nefret
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 01:33 pm: [report]
@joyy & @BlueVibe - Exactly, I wear my hiking boots for the majority of the trail and keep my Crocs clipped to my pack for water. Soggy boots and socks are the WORST, and a good way to get a lot of blisters.