How To Compliment A Man’s Wang

peacock
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 09:10 am: [report]

I feel as though in a situation like this, actions speak louder than words.  Men would probably appreciate them more too…

treehugr
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 09:17 am: [report]

i would never be able to say any of these lines with a straight face and i don’t think laughing helps the situation much =)

SamL
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 09:26 am: [report]

Personally I have been know to utter the phrase; “Nice c0ck!”

SouthOC
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 09:38 am: [report]

I like this one:  “Awww, he’s happy to see me.”

lividyoungnpoor
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 10:17 am: [report]

I agree with treehugr! No way I would be able to keep a straight face, nor would my boyfriend!

brandyalexander
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 10:21 am: [report]

Aw, I could say some of these, and do!  Surprisingly effective has been, “what a beautiful cock!”  haha (minus the “haha,” bien sur)

ksdancer
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 11:11 am: [report]

Most of the guys I know…and I’ve known a few, LOVE when you compliment, talk about, even MEASURE their manhood. its like a verbal turn on….and a form of flirtation….if you get started with the verbal cues first, then that leads to some mighty HOT sex.  I also think its partly because most men are so insecure about their size or performance in bed. So, ladies, I recommend you learn how to ACT (yes, ACT) if need be…. to get your guy going! Pretend you are in a movie and keep a straight face (yes, its a chore, I know, sometimes) but the results can be Orgasmic!

C.Munro
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 12:12 pm: [report]

I think the words, “it’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen” are genetically embedded in every woman’s vocabulary.  For the record, I’m not gullible enough to believe it. 

I find wang-flattery a bit of a turn-off, myself.  I don’t want a woman to stroke my ego ....

majicksand
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 02:19 pm: [report]

My appreciation for my husband’s genitalia is much more action oriented.

Humble Bee
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 02:29 pm: [report]

@C.Munro, That’s true!
I once dated this guy and was just mesmerized by the size! It was so big,  I kept reminding him and joking about it, but I could tell he didn’t really feel comfortable talking about it. Or he’d be like, yeah, its not that big of a deal, then I’d jump and be like, you bet your ass its a BIG deal, haha. He didn’t think my jokes were very funny. I’d always try and feel on him just for kicks and he’d always tell me to keep my hand to myself. I guess not all guys are pervs! lol. What a dumb assumption.

OKSUNI
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 03:28 pm: [report]

Trehugr—I totally agree, it would be a near impossibility to say these things without cracking up!
In my experience, the best way to compliment a guy is to “show” him how much you love it…at this point he’s probably not listening anyway

RayCougar
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 05:31 pm: [report]

The last on is kinda hilarious. Guy: “Oh my God, I think I know the answer to this one.”

I think the best compliment I’ve heard was, “I didn’t know if it would fit.” I knew she was into making a scene with how loud she got. Even if there was some acting, it was still a turn-on.

IronSatan
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 09:22 pm: [report]

Acting really pisses most guys off but only if we find out you are acting, no we cant tell most of the time, we’re too busy fishing for results with our “poles” that even a carp is fun to catch if it looks like a trout.

bogart4017
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 09:15 am: [report]

A big blue star for all the ladies who said action speaks louder than words. The first time is tense enuff without you making like kathy griffin with the “cock jokes”. Also wait till afterwards, that way you can compliment the act as well as the size.

SouthOC
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 10:41 am: [report]

Is it too late to object to the word “Wang?”

SamL
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 10:46 am: [report]

@SouthOC. I would never refer to a man’s penis as a “Wang.” I thought it was some form of accepted US vernacular…

SouthOC
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 03:20 pm: [report]

@SamL:  Thank you!

Reading some of the other “equipment” oriented posts, people’s preferences for “private parts” terminology seem to be all over the place.

It’s amazing to me how what is common place to some, totally offends others.

However, I cannot imagine a world in which the term “Wang” is acceptable…

Anniushka
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 09:25 pm: [report]

@SouthOC: I would feel really uncomfortable if my last name was Wang. I think that slang term is better off followed by [arch.].

Jillakiss
wrote on October 8 2009 @ 11:06 am: [report]

The other day my bf’s roommate was asking about his TV and was it 32 inches?  I yelled back, “YEAAAAAH!” and everybody got a big kick out of it.  Plus I earned brownie points b/c the roommate had just broken up with a girl who thought it was funny to make small d*ck jokes.

Gingee
wrote on October 8 2009 @ 04:09 pm: [report]

Unless the fella has a penis that is made of gold, I’m saying nothing.

It is about as stupid (and insulting) as being told, “You’re so pretty,” as if you made had any choice.  Some people win the genetic lottery, complimenting them is a waste of air.

GreyWolf
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 05:12 am: [report]

Well, from the male side, I can tell you that having women fawn over and compliment your junk DOES get old (but actually drooling is acceptable!)  I can’t tell you the number of times women have expressed awe at my size and claimed it’s either the biggest, the thickest, the cutest, the most impressive, etc. they’ve ever seen.

Honestly ladies, 4-inchers just aren’t that uncommon!

n40nile
wrote on October 11 2009 @ 05:09 pm: [report]

Do what I did: First time ever with husband, first time I ever saw a “happy” one live and in person (at 22!) he walked towards me, “bouncing” in anticipation. I scrunched up into a little ball on the bed using the sheets like armor, my eyes HUGE and glued to his “weapon” as I demanded, “You’re not coming anywhere NEAR me with THAT thing! Just where do you plan on sticking THAT?!?”  It was 20 years ago and he still swears he married me to save me from all the bad men out there who would have taken advantage of me.

If that doesn’t work, gently grab it, tap the head with a finger, lean down and coo, “Is this thing on??” If he doesn’t chuckle, look into his eyes, smile and blow on it a couple times, then let nature take its course. When you’re both tired later, tell him you think it’s working perfectly, no complaints.

condomelite1
wrote on October 12 2009 @ 08:02 pm: [report]

Just make an “O” with your lips!

One Big Voice
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 01:34 pm: [report]

@ n40nile - “Is this thing on??” had me laughtering out loud, thanks!

luvinpa131
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 11:17 am: [report]

I find that gasping at the first thrust - and occasionally after - drives my dude craaazy

JelloMushrooms
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 02:34 pm: [report]

To me if you can see it in her eyes, then she will not have to say any of these comments. Let’s remember sometimes actions speak louder then words.

n40nile
wrote on October 18 2009 @ 10:16 pm: [report]

Trust me, Jello, the look of absolute horror and terror on my face as this large (6’3” 300lb!) young farm boy loped towards me like a big ol’ slobbery Saint Bernard puppy with that “lookit what I got!” look on his sweet innocent face, as the “hugest” hard-on (let alone the ONLY one) I’d ever seen approaching me like a steely slashing weapon in one of those blood bath “teen killer summer camp of doom” movies from the 80s approached to seal my mortal end. My lips parted, my eyes wide in shock and fear, horror, trepidation as I vacillated between screaming bloody murder or kicking him in the “jumblies” and he put on soft romantic “music to lose ones virginity by”…… the 1812 Overture!  Yup, you’re right; the look on my face said it all.

condomelite1
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 06:29 am: [report]

Could not agree more!

SamL
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 08:48 am: [report]

@n40nile. Honey, you just made me spill my latte all over my keyboard! That was the funniest thing I’ve read today!

Sam xxx

Yodar Critch
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 12:32 pm: [report]

“Look, it’s just like a penis, only smaller”

Not good.

Honestly and truly ladies, we men know exactly how large our penis is compared to other men.  We watch porn.  We know that we are not the “largest I have ever seen; OMG; its too big”. If a man really needs a woman to lie about his penis, he may have other issues to consider in the relationship.

Our penises are lousy conversationalists.  No need to waste conversation on it.

Actions are better than words.  Complement through action and reaction.

If you like our penis, please take the appropriate action.

If you don’t like our penis, please pretend you do and take the appropriate action.

Yodar Critch
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 12:37 pm: [report]

@SouthOC

“Is it too late to object to the word “Wang?” “

Never too late.  Back in the 80’s I remember going to Wang school in order to learn to properly use my Wang.  My Wang appeared to be easy to use, but to get the maximum performance out of it, the Wang school taught me a lot.

I used to get complements on my Wang’s performance, and my Wang always seemed to get the job done.

I still have my Wang Ruler too.

n40nile
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 07:44 pm: [report]

Arches an eyebrow@Yodar   Not only do I talk to THE penis and have been for 20 years, I married the man behind it 17 years ago on the 21. And I have no problem discussing said member and all it’s magnificence with him amongst other oral adoration. As for the genitalia and other sexual identifiers in the pornographic world? Unreal, enhanced and unnatural aberrations mostly. “Normal” is something extremely rare on film and in video. (Quote most men I know: “Why would I pay to watch some shlub just like me f%*& and $@% a complete hottie!?!”)

And WANG School?? Where, when and how much was the tuition? From what I’ve read and heard over the years, 85% of American Men need to attend classes. “3 strokes and you’re outta here, but what about me?” could even be a course! Along with many others….As for rulers, my BFF and I kept ours tucked away in the door of her Mustang while we went cruising in the 80s (remember that, before texting and chat rooms?) so when the “studs” shouted out how “hung” they were, and we couldn’t handle it, we’d grab that yardstick, and pull the car over. You’ve never seen high school boys run so fast! *wink*

Still have it too, and the wang-dang-dude

Yodar Critch
wrote on November 23 2009 @ 06:54 pm: [report]

I don’t remember how much Wang school cost.  The government sent me there when I was in the military.

We had plenty of women in Wang school also.  A few of the women had bigger more powerful Wangs than I had, but in life you have to deal with the Wang you have and not the Wang you wish you had.  The important aspect of the Wang school was to get the best possible use out of your Wang so that you could provide service to as many people as you could.

There was NOTHING we could do in Wang school with only three strokes.  I wish.  Hundreds of strokes maybe if not more.  It got tiring, especially when we were using our Wangs for the same thing over and over again.  And it was not just the number of strokes, but the accuracy and speed of each stroke that counted.

If we did it wrong, we had to start all over again.  By the end of the class, we had our Wangs smokin!!

akona_adventure
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 02:04 am: [report]

the right thing to do to compliment it, is for the lady to climb on lower herself on slowly one inch at a time, make those oh-ah faces and smile broadly when its in all the way…  no words are needed.

n40nile
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 10:16 am: [report]

@Yodar

“This is my rifle, this is my gun; this is for fighting, this is for fun.” But tell me, is it really mighty cold?? And could you REALLY break it down, clean it, and have it ready for inspection in less than 3 minutes? I mean really REALLY?

Since everything else I’m about to say is going to sound like a cheesy come on after this (And I like seeming intellectually stimulating, mysterious, and slightly strange/dangerous): What’s a nice retired Boy Scout do for fun these days? Go looking for 100% M.I.L.F. free cheese, or practice the age old art of “chevalier”? (Makes for better kisses, don’t ya know! ) Would love to continue to play with you, got the juices running and firing on all cylinders and sparking along. (And if you read more into that than something cerebral, shame of you, Sir!)

But this is neither the time nor the place. Pies to bake, penises to ogle and properly be agog and agape about. (And lower ones self gingerly upon. Personally, I prefer a Fireman’s bell and boots, but you men do complain so!) Happy Thanksgiving! There’s an Idea! Turkey meat (A ham.)  in the shape of a penis! “Things I’m thankful for this Season…..” It might just work.

Yodar Critch
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 05:23 pm: [report]

You can be agog and agape at the same time?  That is not easy.  Do you stretch before hand?

Concerning what a nice retired Boy Scout would do, I am afraid I can’t help you.  I was kicked out of the Cub Scouts for eating too many Brownies.

Bean's Girl
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 05:30 pm: [report]

Woah what have you been feeding it?! It’s huge!

equnsuocha
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 05:39 pm: [report]

Courtesy of one of my favorite movies “The Sweetest Thing”, think Wedding Crashers or Old School with chicks, sing him this:
You’re too big to fit in here
too big to fit in here
too big to fit in here

What a lovely ride
Your penis is a thrill
Your penis is a Cadillac
A giant Coupe de Ville
Your penis packs a wallop
Your penis brings a load
And when it makes a delivery
It needs its own zip code
Nine - double zero - penis

Repeat Chorus

Your penis is so strong
Your penis is so smooth
Your penis has got a rhythm
Your penis makes me groove
Your penis is a dream
The biggest one I’ve seen
It’s oozy and it’s green
(spoken) Ewww
(spoken) Sorry

Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus

Your penis is so big
Your penis is so thick
Your penis is so pretty
You’ve got a handsome dick

Your penis is so hard
Your penis is so large
My body is a movie
And your penis is the star
“Staring your penis”

Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus

Shannoninatl
wrote on December 3 2009 @ 05:34 pm: [report]

Really? Admitting that I am pretty average, I guess. 6” or so. Calling me huge is not really the best one to use, I watch porn, I know better!
I have been told several times I have a pretty C#$K. I liked that compliment the best. I still believe it!! I have been told “Awe it’s excited to see me” that is always a winner.
“I am always nervous the first time because I will always believe I am inadequate”-Every Guy USA.

Until we are done and BAM..that is when you need to lay an ego stroke on me. IF you feel led to.
If you were not satisfied then you either figure out why, if the relationship is worth it, or you back out as soon as you can

Fast Eddie
wrote on January 27 2010 @ 07:13 am: [report]

As my mother always told me: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

This good advice no matter what or whom it’s applied to.