How To Cheat Without Using Modern Technology
Posted by: Annika Harris
Filed in:
relationships
12:30PM, Wednesday June 24th 2009
You would think that with all the different advancements in communication having an affair would be easier. Not so, according to a survey by Telstra Corp, a dominant phone company in Australia. The survey found that 25 percent of Australian cell phone users found out their partner or someone else’s was being unfaithful through text messages.
When it comes to infidelity, it’s best to go low-tech if you’re trying not to get caught. Affairs occurred before cell phones, caller ID, and email, so pretend you don’t have these creature comforts. If you and your guy on the side are meant to hook up, then it will happen without an excessive use of technology.
If you’re bad at remembering phone numbers, store your guy’s under a seemingly innocuous girl’s name. Just don’t text him. You can deny anything when just a phone number is presented, but words will just spell out that affair. You could lock your cell phone, but then you’ll make your real guy suspicious.
Emails aren’t OK either. Yes, I know you have a password, but it’s probably something easy to remember, which means anyone who knows you well will be able to figure it out. And would you really want to risk accidentally sending an email to your No. 1 guy, or, gasp, your boss? No love letters, unless you and No. 2 work out some sort of code (and who has time for that?).
Don’t even think about Twittering when you’ve lied about where you are because that provides clues. And your super sleuth man will put two and two together. And even if he doesn’t specifically know you’re having an affair, he will nonetheless become suspicious.
Your home computer should not aid you in arranging a secret rendezvous or romantic getaway. All that info will be stored on your hard drive somewhere, and you know guys are good at finding the one thing you didn’t want them to.
It helps to keep your female friend to male friend ratio even on Facebook. Too many guy friends will make your man jealous. And don’t even think of flirting while on Facebook, and let your side guy know that any lovey-dovey wall scrolls will be deleted along with his friendship.
Now here’s when you should use the computer to cheat. Use that built-in camera wisely. Practice your best innocent and appalled looks until you’ve perfected them. They’ll come in handy if you’re ever confronted about the affair.
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 12:50 pm: [report]
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
reebsdc
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 12:50 pm: [report]
or how about, don’t cheat?
EarthGoddess
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 01:14 pm: [report]
Very true. I know all too well that the digital traces you leave behind will be your undoing ... one can never be too careful.
jojo32
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 01:25 pm: [report]
Wow, um…I gotta go with reebsdc. whatever happened to fidelity?
joyy
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 01:35 pm: [report]
I’ll third what ever happened to not cheating.
Emi
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 01:35 pm: [report]
Really? Cheating tips? I’ll have to pass on this one.
Raugiel
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 02:28 pm: [report]
And I thought “how to get out of paying for a date” was bad…
dreams030684
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 02:36 pm: [report]
Really!?! Cheating tips? That is just sad.
Green_Viking
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 02:44 pm: [report]
I guess it takes all kinds. After all, perhaps this advice is useful to people who are stuck in a bad relationship for various reasons and are trying to setup something to help them get out of it.
Not to mention, as always, sex sells. After all, we cared enough about the topic to click on it and comment.
For the record, in my book, cheating on a S.O. who loves you and treats you right for “the thrill” is made of FAIL.
If your man is not rocking your socks anymore, break up with him. He’s a big boy now.
wazu
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 02:56 pm: [report]
I agree, how about getting out of an unhappy/unfulfilling relationship as opposed to cheating?
I found out my ex of 6 years was cheating after he started tilting his cell phone to the side, away from my view, as he checked it while seated next to me, which made me suspicious, so I checked his phone while he was passed out drunk one night. I found sexual text messages, and voicemails from several other women. Probably not a smart move to leave your pay-as-you-go cell phone voicemail password in the nightstand drawer.
hellosunrise
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 06:20 pm: [report]
“Now here’s when you should use the computer to cheat. Use that built-in camera wisely. Practice your best innocent and appalled looks until you’ve perfected them. They’ll come in handy if you’re ever confronted about the affair.”
yuck. perfecting your best innocent and appalled looks using a webcam? that just makes my stomache turn. um. i’ll stick with my monogamous relationship, thank you very much.
newmakcity
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 09:53 pm: [report]
What’s next tips on covering up STDs you got got from your affair?
NYC50man
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 06:57 am: [report]
Cheaters Confession: Two years ago, I had fling with a married girlfriend of my wife. Sex with Fling was fantastic and we genuinely thought that it helped us be better people and better with our respective spouses.
(BTW, I was not the only man involved with Fling—there were co-current others. Fling is a nympho.) Successfully kept it secret for more than a year after it ended, and then it was discovered.
I got some well-needed therapy. My marriage ended (it was on the rocks before the affair). Fling is still in hers and her part in the affair is still secret. Ex-wife doesn’t know and is still friends with Fling. Took some time on my own, now have a new relationship, who knows about Fling.
Problem: Fling wants back into my life. Says she has cancer. Sends tearful and sad emails about how hurt she feels about end of the affair and that I won’t continue our relationship, even as friends. Wants me to visit her.
I’ve taken a stand not to engage, but Fling needs to stop pursuing something that is not going to happen. I learned too late that she’s both a romantic obsessive and a submissive/masochist. She seems to like having wounds that she can open from time to time, let bleed a bit, and lick.
Options? Stonewall her? Tell her again it’s over and to stop trying to contact me? Threaten to reveal her secret life to husband and friends?
What do you guys think?
bbpickles
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 07:34 am: [report]
Stupid article! I agree with all and say don’t be a cheater! If you are sexting your biscuit on the side, know you are an idiot and will get caught!
@NYC50man- Tell her to lose your #! Say those exact words, and if she doesn’t and you TRULY don’t want to hear her pleas, change your #.
Coming out about the affair with all involved is pointless now. It will cause more hurt and issues for your ex. Don’t you think you have caused her enough pain already? Miss Fling is a #&@$% friend and an awful human being for standing by your ex, comforting her through a divorce, all the while knowing she is a big reason it happened…..and because she is trying to guilt you back into her little web!
dahveed
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 07:45 am: [report]
Life is simple. DON’T CHEAT and DON’T SPEND TIME WITH SOMEONE WHO IS CHEATING. If they cheat on their spouse to be with you, they’re gonna cheat on you to be with someone else.
Rather than hide, I say MAKE SURE YOU TEXT THEM MANY TIMES to find out if they’re a secret cheat…
joyy
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 08:12 am: [report]
@nyc50man - “says she has cancer” ... you don’t sounds convinced. Tell her it’s over. Tell her you’re sorry to hear about her health (assuming she isn’t a compulsive liar and actually does have cancer?) so that you don’t sound like a total d-bag. But your instincts are good - keep it in your pants.
Also, keep your mouth shut about it. If you threaten to tell others, she may beat you to it just for the thrill of escalation. “Revealing her secret life” doesn’t accomplish anything but causing a lot of other people lots of pain.
dahveed
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 09:15 am: [report]
nyc50man - don’t wreck your current relationship by getting back with the fling! Unless sex with you cures cancer, stay clear of her and keep the current relationship in the know.
good luck with this.
NYC50man
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 10:52 am: [report]
Appreciate the comments. Want to do the right thing here.
becktasm
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 11:55 am: [report]
Instead of adding another to a sea of comments expressing shock at an article promoting infidelity, I will just say: The “other woman” in that picture has an ass that won’t quit.
bogart4017
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 01:13 pm: [report]
@nyc50man—tell that broad to kick rocks. How many times does she have to ruin your life. Sorry to hear she has cancer but you never mentioned a medical degree so what are you going to do about it? Hold her hand? Tell her to go find her “co-currents”. Change your number, block her e-mails and keep as much distance betweenyou two as possible. I know this species well.
Tapey
wrote on June 26 2009 @ 06:42 pm: [report]
I certainly agree with becktasm on his observation.
rajuraju
wrote on July 17 2009 @ 09:16 am: [report]
sdfsf
Sunshinex045
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 09:16 am: [report]
i do have to say one thing, and its not for people to judge. LETS just say, you ARE in a relationship, with a great guy, your happy with, who loves you and treats you right. what if you DONT want out. now enter, the “other”. He’s cute, a close friend, and you have a history. he loves you too, treats you well, and knows your situation and doesnt wanna step in the middle, because he fears hurting your relationship will hurt you. but, as sweet as you can be, you are to both men, love them both and simply just cant figure it out. i mean, its okay for men in the mormon religion to have more than one wife right? well we’ve all been through breakups and easily know, there isn’t one fish in the sea, so how come, more than one cant be for me? i mean, i know cheating is wrong, so i keep it to a minimum as best i can, but can you blame a person, for finding the perfect guy… twice? i know a few of you have been through this too, as women, MOST of the time, we change our minds alot. and in my personal sit. i just cant seem to figure it out yet. and i, as previously stated know cheating is wrong, and am not justifying it, but there are people, who choose to live their life a certain way and who is anyone to judge, you never know ones complete situation.
GreenAura
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 09:27 am: [report]
@ Sunshinex045: you are right, no one is allowed to judge you. period. But, just try to imagine how hurt you would be if one of them were cheating on you. Its like a knife through the heart, and just because they are men doesn’t mean they don’t feel absolute pain over it. Someone in your life will end up being very hurt. And in my humble opinion, I think you are the one who stands to lose the most: 2 great guys. Just something for you to ponder (although I’m sure you already have!)
Sunshinex045
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 09:39 am: [report]
i think about it every damn day :/ i live with one, barely see the other, and the other, is moving again, i know its for the best and i guess whatever is really meant to happen will find its way but really? ive never been a #&@$% situation, all because ive found the right one[s].