How NOT To Approach Someone Online

Jamie Lee
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 07:09 am: [report]

ugh, i hate it when people feel the need to tell you a thousand times that they never have tried anything like this before and how this is their first time online dating and you never pictured yourself trying online dating blah blah blah…stop being so defensive and just admit that you gave up in the real world and you wanted to try online

JEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cattgirl813
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 07:31 am: [report]

I’m doing the online dating thing again, and it’s not going well.  I received a flirt from a 50-something man who was naked from the waist up posing in front of mounted deer heads.  I went out with another guy who was smart, funny, attractive, and easy to talk to.  Fun date, great kiss good night, so the next date was looking promising right?  Turns out he was trying to recruit me into a direct marketing campaign he’s in.  Sigh.  The search for true love continues….

Lisa Marie
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 07:31 am: [report]

My absolute favorite is when they say, “the picture is ten years old, I’ve lost blahblahblah amount of weight since then!”  I refuse to believe in this day and age that anyone dating via website doesn’t have a more recent photo.

cattgirl813
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 07:37 am: [report]

@Lisa Marie: I love the cell phone in the bathroom mirror or the hold the camera arm’s length pics.  Those crack me up.

christianay
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 07:46 am: [report]

hahahhha… i love it. i got one the other day.

Subject: Do you have a bandaid?

Because i scraped my knee falling for you.

Amelia
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 09:42 am: [report]

@hartcons Honestly, commenting on something that shows you’ve read my profile, but also calls attention to something we have in common. Chicken Parm, whom I met online, made a reference to some music I had listed and then send me a funny YouTube link. His message made me want to read his profile and his profile made me want to reply. All of it has to go hand in hand. Some of the guys online have the worst, pervy usernames or really blurry, awful photos.

MegKat
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 10:39 am: [report]

Thanks for bringing this up Amelia, because I am just joined a dating site. I don’t even write for a living, but the grammar amazes me. Why are there so many that don’t capitalize ‘i’ when talking about themselves?

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 10:44 am: [report]

@MegKat: I know my grammar isn’t perfect, well downright bad, but I abhor people that use “U kno y i like u”. Ugh, boils my blood.

eclipse
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 11:56 am: [report]

I love this post.

I tried out the online thing for awhile, and like you I can’t handle when people who are old enough to know better but still have no idea how to write. Maybe he’s a nice guy, but the fact that he wrote, “Hey grl, you look cute in ur pics. Give me a call sumtime, 555.555.555.” makes me not want to talk to him at all.

or my other ‘favorite’ is when guys just say, “Hello” “Hey” “How are you doin?” and thats it. Those goes straight to the trash. It makes me feel like part of a cattle call. boo.

If you cant think of anything to say, then please don’t waste our time. No need to write an essay, but like Amelia said, comment on something in our profile or make a witty comment that is related…we are not interested in your life story at this point.

So guys, if you can think of something intelligent to say, use proper grammer and punctuation, and manage to keep it polite, you will be 10 times more likely to get a response.

The End

theoldman
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 12:28 pm: [report]

One thing that never ceases to amaze me is the lack of politeness on the web. I frequently get views of my profile along with a friend request and a"hey let’s chat sometime” principally from women in their 30’s and 20’s. I have a posted preference between 63 and 48. If I choose to be their friend and respond with affirmative response nothing further happens. I would put this kind of behavior in the same class as men who put a notch on the bed post after scoring.

@eclipse you are spot on about not wasting someone’s time.  If they do have the good grammar and show class, a polite no thank you would be appropriate.  That way you avoid giving all members of your gender(male or female) a bad reputation.  Class goes along way.

Ultraviolet
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 02:09 pm: [report]

I think the 2nd message(3/7 slide) has GOT to be a form letter of some sort. I got almost the exact same thing, read it and deleted it.

I’ve taken a break from online dating but these were my biggest irks. 1) Sending the one line messages over and over again like they think it’s messenger or something. Taking the time to log in for a one line message pisses me off. 2) Totally horrendous spelling, grammar and abbreviations. I’m not totally picky but if it takes me 10 minutes and a headache afterwards to decipher what you wrote, then there’s a problem. 3) My profile mentioned I was a single mom, it was amazing how many guys would send a message with some version of “sexy mommy, yummy mummy” etc. Gross!

I’ll probably get back into online dating again at some point as a number of my friends have had success at it(one is engaged to a guy she met online)  so it gives me hope!

emnemily20
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 04:24 pm: [report]

You all need to read Date Wrecks (datewrecks.com)if you haven’t…. I’ve spend days laughing and sadly have been approached by the same kind of guys!

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 04:55 pm: [report]

@Emnemily20: I took a cursory glance at that site and it looks like a hilarious who’s who of Craigslist personals! Awesome tip, thanks.

emnemily20
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 05:21 pm: [report]

I have far too much time during the day to find sites to lmao!

Thepastorsson
wrote on April 11 2009 @ 10:35 pm: [report]

Very funny article, I was on the new dating site 71flavors (71flavors.com) last night and I was conversating with this gal. Can you believe she asked me to meet her parents!!! Anyways I met them they were great lol….

cattgirl813
wrote on April 12 2009 @ 02:29 pm: [report]

I just receive a flirt from a guy.  This is his self written description: “I like smart fun sexy ladies who are ready 4 a companion 2 have fun with.Should like quiet times together , Concerts, plays, travel homecook meals .walks.sports sex.”  One of his pictures is him dressed (and I am not making this up) in a devil’s costume. What the hell?  This online dating thing is making me consider the merits of quarts of Cookie Dough ice cream and adopting a fourth cat.  For real.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 12 2009 @ 02:48 pm: [report]

@cattgirl813: Ouch, what is strange, is why don’t these kinds of people have a brain to cover that stupid #&@$% up, at the very least, that is.

firefly
wrote on April 12 2009 @ 03:23 pm: [report]

Cattgirl1813, I hear you on the appeal of ice cream. I had one guy email me a questionnaire…some questions were normal (do you prefer a beach house or mountain cabin?), which of course led to this winner…“Do you prefer to get your cardio workout at the gym or in bed?”  Yeah, I’d admit that to a total stranger!
btw…CheeeeEEEEse, love your comments. You are always entertaining!

cattgirl813
wrote on April 12 2009 @ 05:38 pm: [report]

@firefly: He actually took it to a sex question before he even knew your first name?  That’s pretty creepy.  Still, it’s good you found out that the guy’s default dating attitude was horny before you met in person.

@CheeeeEEEEse: I wish I knew why these folks don’t think before they post.  I also wish I knew why they seem to think women would be attracted to such nonsense.  My online dating membership has about a month and a half to go and at this rate I’m not likely to renew.  The man of my dreams just may turn out to be Ben and/or Jerry.  Sigh….

loveitlala
wrote on April 12 2009 @ 08:26 pm: [report]

I HATE the posts that only say things like, “hey girl, holla back.”  I knoooow you are mass spamming 100 girls with that one, and I don’t want to be part of your world record plan for the largest number of dates in a month.  That’s why I love eharmony and hate match.  It’s absolutely impossible to spam a bunch of girls based on how the website is set up.  Genius.

Jami
wrote on July 4 2009 @ 01:25 pm: [report]

So, yea… This is certainly an epidemic.