How Many Times A Year Do You Have Sex?

Perceptible
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 07:57 am: [report]

Wait, that’s it? What about the other 281 days? Does this study count people in relationships? Even only twice per week is 104 times a year. I think this number sounds low.

Miss Missi
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 07:57 am: [report]

Actually, there are 88 keys on a piano.

pickmeiloveyou
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:09 am: [report]

that’s ridiculously low.. i dont think that it could really be that low, even on average.. my boyfriend and i probably have sex 84 times in a month and a half..

Fast Eddie
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:26 am: [report]

In the past 22 years together we’ve gone from 4 times a day to twice a year, whether we need to or not.  I’m hopping for a record attempt on our upcoming anniversary cruise.

Claireific
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:29 am: [report]

I’m sure it’s an average thing. Averages can be misleading. I got none, zip for like, 4 months, then along comes my boyfriend and now we have sex prolly 4-5 times a week.

_jsw_
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:30 am: [report]

The reason the number is low is because of people like me.

I spent 14 years in a marriage neither one of us should have been in, and there were probably, in that 14 years, eight in which there was no sex at all, and many in which a dozen times would have been a best-case scenario. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, we just didn’t have chemistry, and, yes, clearly we should never have gotten married.

Previously, I’ve had those 84 times in less than a month. Maybe again someday. But, when you look at these averages, you need to keep in mind that they aren’t averages exclusively for young couples at the beginning of their relationships. They’re averages for adults in general, including those not in relationships, those deep into unhappy marriages, the elderly, and those who have physical disabilities.

Yes, there are surely people who have been married 50 years who still have sex daily. There are lots and lots of couples who have been together a long time and still have lots and lots of sex. But that’s not how everyone is. And, if you’re beating that 84/year average, be happy, but don’t assume it’ll last. I hope it does, but don’t take it for granted.

sadie
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:40 am: [report]

4-5 times/week, which is well above 84 times/year. We’re married. We’ve been together for 5 yrs. I hope it stays this way but I guess it remains to be seen.

As for chafing, use lube.

retro chic
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:43 am: [report]

“Or is this a clever ploy by a condom company to get me to slut it up?”
A ploy yes, clever, no. That smells like common advert practice by self-serving shaming with “numbers” (aka contrived data) about the very intimate, ego-sensitive subject of sex to boost sales, to me.
“*gasp* Just 84 times!? I must run out to CVS and pick up a box right away and bang those guys/girls I scraped off before. I’m being way too picky/shy.”

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:46 am: [report]

Your parents are doing it on your bed right now.

gloriafretz
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:52 am: [report]

My boyfriend and I live 1,600 miles away from each other and manage to have sex more than 84 times a year… that is sad.

_jsw_
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:52 am: [report]

@CheeeeEEEEse: Thank God. I was getting tired of having to avoid the kitchen.

*sam*
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 09:04 am: [report]

Well, considering I’m dating a marine who has the ‘lovely’ obligation of being deployed for 7mts out of the year (every year as it is becoming) :’( our ‘average’ is probably somewhere around that 84… when he got back from his last (and first) deployment, we were averaging a/b… 5-6 times a day (no lie!!—7mts is a REALLY long time to just have phone/internet sex), but that gradually trickled down to 2-3, and now we’re averaging a/b once a day, or 4-5 times a week… but he leaves again in a few months, so, I doubt we’ll be breaking any records before he gets out next year… :(

as for chaffing, that’s never been a problem.. h/e, I have come to notice that I apparently have the *worst* medical condition EVER—I have a tendency to get cysts from having too much sex. (apparently all of the fluids clog up my pores and the friction irritates it and causes it to swell… damn our insatiable sex drive!!!)

oh, and we’ve been together for almost a year and a half now…

*sam*
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 09:11 am: [report]

oh, and @_jsw_: I read an article when I was a… sophomore(?) in HS (ok, so that was like 6yrs ago, but that’s not the point) and it was discussing that since the advent of Viagra, more and more seniors are engaging in active sex lives. The article was chronicling the case of a nursing home that was going through discussions on whether they should implement rules/restrictions on sexual behavior… implementing curfews and having night-shift nurses try to play sex-nazis by keeping them out of each others’ beds b/c it was becoming such a problem!!! Oh! and within the past 5yrs or so,there is almost an epidemic of STD transmission among the geriatric!!

apparently now that gramps can get it up and grams has the lube, they’re neglecting the necessity of wrapping it to prevent infection!!!

yay for my human sexuality class for highlighting the wonders of geriatric sex…

Queen Frostine
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 09:31 am: [report]

Been with my husband for nine years. We average 2-3 times a month. He works two jobs and I work long shifts. There’s barely enough time for eating and sleeping most days.

Rose
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 10:30 am: [report]

I’ve been married 17 years.  Our sexual frequency went UP in year 8 and again in 12.  Any day we’re both home (he travels alot for work), we do it at least once.  If the sex slips away over time, it’s not inevitable, it’s that at least one of you isn’t trying hard enough to make time, make it good, or just plain make it.

writergirl
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 11:15 am: [report]

Thank God for Queen Frostine…I was starting to get concerned.  If I could actually get excited (pun intended) for morning sex, we’d have it seven times a week, but I hate morning sex and at night, he’s too tired.  And the “baby” is five and doesn’t nap anymore so we can’t even make it up on the weekend in the middle of the afternoon.  So we average something like 52 times a year.

H. Blue
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 11:37 am: [report]

I’d count myself lucky to be getting it on 84 times a year.  When I was married we had several 6-month dry spells.. one lasted almost a year I think.  Like _jsw_, we were not compatable and never should have married in the first place.
Now I’m lucky if I get to have sex once in a two to three month period.  If I was in a relationship, that would be a different story..

bogart4017
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 01:54 pm: [report]

Because i’m what an old friend called a “peter repeater” (refractory period is like 2 minutes)we tend to have multiple sessions so i lose count. But a one night session can last her all week long.

MarriedWhiteMale
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 02:00 pm: [report]

My best friend (female) was complaining to me one day that her SO got “too much sex, constantly taking - not pleasing her very frequently at all”  I told her I didn’t get enough and would do anything to please my partner.

One thing led to another and we agreed to keep track of when we “got lucky”.  It was to last a month or so but we kept track for over a year. 

The totals?  She had sex 157 times.  I had sex a paltry 26 times.  I would have sex twice a day if my partner were willing!!! 

Oh well, luck of the draw I guess . . .

becktasm
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 02:50 pm: [report]

Every damn day, often more than once. Even in my single days, 84 does not even come close.

Kesseire
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 04:15 pm: [report]

I think it’s awfully strange how many people out in the world, such as the original author, seem to assume that its single people having all this sex. In every study I’ve ever seen, married people have sex far more often than single people (considering that surveys also show that most Americans will have fewer than twenty sex partners, that shouldn’t be a surprise). They really should break these surveys down between people who are single and people who are in a relationship. It’s almost as if this survey was designed to make people who are single feel unsatisfied with their sex lives.

I believe it was Hobbes who asked, “Why do they have to assign a number to everything?” To which Calvin replied, “If your numbers go up, it means you’re having more fun.”

DancingGeek
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 05:18 pm: [report]

Do people actually count?

_jsw_
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 05:19 pm: [report]

@DancingGeek: I’m pretty sure they do, because otherwise, that’d mean a lot of farm animals are being molested. In fact, I suspect that they’re only counting people.

DancingGeek
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 05:36 pm: [report]

@jsw- you crack me up! it just seems so juvenile to keep score, I’d rather have quality than quantity.

_jsw_
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 05:51 pm: [report]

@DancingGeek: Ditto, although I’d take either one now.

SemperFi
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 05:54 pm: [report]

Another reason the average is lower - Antidepressants.

Married alomost 23 years and damn the person who invited antidepressants.  Wife no longer cares about the intimacy and every few months feels quilty enough to remember I’m still here.

I did read an article once though that stated after about 4 - 5 years into a relationship and the woman reaches a point where she feels secure the sex drops off and drastically.  If you are in a relationship and that happened to you then you probably think the story is right on.  I guess the moral of the story is to not let her get to that point. 

Just kidding about the moral of the story so don’t bash me.

writergirl
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 05:57 pm: [report]

It’s easy to count when you *know* you’re getting it less than five times a week.

_jsw_
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 06:00 pm: [report]

@SemperFi “Another reason the average is lower - Antidepressants.”

Good point. They often not only lower the urge but make it far more difficult for the person to achieve an orgasm. Double whammy.

*sam*
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 06:00 pm: [report]

@semperfi: if you think the meds are causing that much of a prob, you could ask her to bring it up to her psychiatrist… another thing you could do is see a sex therapist, i’m sure they have all kinds of suggestions. living w/ someone on SSRIs can be harsh, and i don’t think enough time is spent discussing the partner/family’s problems coping with the depressed person…

MoonBabye
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:54 pm: [report]

Psh! Sounds right to me. Especially since I’m creeping up on a year since I’ve gotten any action. 84 sounds pretty good right about now.

Vitally_Florin
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 01:35 am: [report]

Goodnight and good morning sex, every two to three days.

Coco green
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 02:08 am: [report]

For me 84 is a bit low, but I’m in a relationship right now. I’d say our average is closer to 100. It’d probably be higher but we hardly only see each other about 3 days a week and even those days we don’t get to spend the whole day together. When we actually saw each other more regularly we were having sex 4-5 times a week, but now that I think of it we were still only seeing each other like 5 or 6 days a week. So I guess we’d have sex almost every day if we could. I know I would. We did wait quite awhile to have sex though. He didn’t want to rush things. And I’m glad about that.

majicksand
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 09:15 am: [report]

My husband and I tend to cycle.  We’ll have unbelievable sex over and over for days then nothing for weeks sometimes.  In our defense, we run a small business together 6 days a week and have pool league on the 7th.  Between that and the kids, the house, the dog… we’re busy and exhausted.

It’s not too bad though.  As I said, we run our business together, so we are around each other nearly 24/7.  There’s lots of time to flirt and connect even if we don’t “make love” (oh yes, I went there, lol) as regularly as some people would expect.  Given how obviously (nauseatingly) devoted we are to one another, our friends are sure we spend all our time sexing it up.

The important thing is that we’re happy with our life together.  I couldn’t have married him if I thought I would end up “content”.  I gotta have “happily ever after” or no-deal.  I guess I’ve never done anything else like anyone else—why should this be an exception?

Jenn27549
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 10:02 pm: [report]

I’m in the same boat as majicsand…we run a business together, but we are still in the early stages so its 7 days a week, pretty much 24/7.  We are around each other alot, and sometimes that does lead to some “intimate” moments that aren’t sex and other times it leads to just stress.  But on the whole we’re both exhausted most of the time. He’s a morning sex person, I’m night.  We have weeks where it will be several times a week and some weeks not at all, although we make an effort not to go more than 7 days between sometimes it creeps up to 8, 9 or 10.  I would say it averages around that 84 number.  When we first started dating it was every day, usually more than once.  But life does get in the way, and no matter how hard you try to prioritize it for most people its just not practical to do it every day or even every other day consistently.  And in the end its about the quality and not the quantity.  I’ll take one good romp per week over 7 so-so ones any day, so if one of us is to tired or just not in the mood its not worth forcing it at that time.

wonderfultonight
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 11:21 pm: [report]

I doubt I’d be in a relationship long with a guy who didn’t like a lot of sex, but the idea of counting? Gee, of what importance is that if both of you are satisfied?

wonderfultonight
wrote on July 25 2009 @ 02:25 pm: [report]

I think it’s very important that the couple involved have similsr sex drives. Therefore, the only really important number is 2 - the two of you.

onewriter
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 12:09 pm: [report]

This is certainly a hot topic.  I’ve gone from at least once a week, sometimes twice (but we only see each other on the weekends for any length of time usually) to maybe once every two weeks.  And it’s been two weeks now, and since we’re having an abreviated day, with lots of work involved, I’m pretty sure we won’t be doing it this week either.  Yes, I miss it.  But I certainly won’t be begging for it either.  If he doesn’t want me that way, I need to be okay with it.  And we didnt’ start until about 4 months into our relationship…so, since we’re only on 8 months now, (and I’m not adding-numbers be damned) I would like more too, but it’s not up to me.

GirlyLocks
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 01:59 am: [report]

I can’t imagine only 84 times/year.  This year is our 10th wedding anniversary, and we have four children.  It’s still at least every other day for us.

cherikee
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 12:06 pm: [report]

WOW! I can’t imagine 84 times/year.  I’ll be 32 soon and I don’t think that I have had sex 84 times in my LIFE.  It amazing reading about women’s sex lives. You women have it SO MUCH EASIER than men, at least in the sex department.  In my life, sex has been something that is nearly impossible to achieve, yet it seems so easy for everyone else.  I know I’m good once I get there, it’s just that getting there is difficult.  By the way, love the site(my first post).

ThatChick
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 05:33 pm: [report]

Man, I understand that’s an average, but geeze… I’ve been with hubby for 4 years…We’re about every other day still. We were both unemployed for about a month once, and I’m surprised we didn’t got pregnant! You have to make time for sex!

Black Iris
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 07:25 pm: [report]

Well, the study includes a bunch of people over 18.  So there are probably single people in there who aren’t getting any sex as well as some older married people who are having it less than twice a week.  Not to mention people who had sex and made a baby and then didn’t have time for sex anymore!

Tee2Green
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 07:44 pm: [report]

84 times a year! - I’d kill to have sex 84 times a year.  I haven’t had sex in 20 years so I guess I’m one of those single people the skew the average lower.  Sorry about that.

raqueleza
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 10:40 pm: [report]

Ugh, I’m going on 6 mos without sex—the longest I’ve ever gone since becoming “active.” I used to be able to knock out 84 times in 2-3 months, easy. But ever since I, you know, stopped have sex with people I hate…

The last four months of this year better be freaky as #&@$%.

fullupfrontal
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 07:33 am: [report]

I have had sex once in 5 years in the context of a budding “relationship”, some days afterwards she told me not to see other people, but to wait for her to see if she could get back with her ex.

She found out later she was pregnant to me but tried to sleep with her ex to trick him into thinking the baby was his. After that failed, she self-terminated the pregnancy.

Yeah. I hope next time’s better.

Ms. LeFay
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 11:52 pm: [report]

Not counting the last year, that is probably right for me…hot and heavy after a courtship with the latest guy and then when it doesn’t work out…dry for weeks. The last year made up for all the previous ones and then some. Ya gotta love BF’s…even when you have more than one at a time. I’m one worn out kitty. It’s definitely time to cool off. So I am going abstinent for a while…I guess it’s a feast and famine thing. Maybe if I didn’t starve myself for so long I wouldn’t have these slut spells.

Lonely_Latina
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 05:54 am: [report]

When I was single I averaged sex daily, sometimes two-three times a day. Ahh those were the days…I am married and average sex at 2-3 a year, if that much. Who would’ve known that sex would die with a live in partner. As far as sex goes I got more as a single woman and wonder why did I ever get married.

67fordguy
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 07:06 am: [report]

Been married 10+ years and now we’re doewn to 3-4 times a YEAR.  I hate it.  When I try to have “The Talk” she says something like’sorry I’m such a dissapointment’.  When we were dating she would beg me to come home for lunch for a nooner.  84 per year would be a tsuami in our house.

duhh
wrote on October 24 2009 @ 02:28 am: [report]

who keeps track of this stuff?

LMAO…......

what are you supposed to do, mark it down on the calendar every time…........before or after?