How I Got The Clap And Other STD Stories: The Man Who Wouldn’t Pee
Posted by: The Frisky
Filed in:
sex
8:00AM, Sunday April 5th 2009
April is STD Awareness Month, and we asked you to share your STD-related stories so we could learn from your each other’s mistakes. If you have a tale involving sores, Valtrex, or a judgy gynecologist, send an email to tips@thefrisky.com. We will keep your identity anonymous.
I picked it up from a girl one drunken, unprotected night at the New Jersey Shore (figures) over Labor Day weekend. Symptoms appeared, on schedule, the morning of the fourth day. While there wasn’t any discharge, urinating was excruciatingly painful—like no other pain I have felt before or since. It was so painful that I stupidly refrained from urinating for about 24 hours. At that point the pain from my swollen bladder began overwhelming the pain I would felt while urinating, so I starting going in little spurts. That was taking too long, so I decided to try to numb my penis by placing it in a bowl of ice water. Again, dumb idea. Not only was that separately excruciating, it did nothing to ease the pain of my inflamed urethra.
I finally checked into the emergency room, hoping the doctor could knock me out and drain my bladder somehow. He leveled with me, saying I would simply have to go. Diagnosis was “Non-Gonococcal Urethritis.” I grabbed onto something in the men’s room and just lit it rip. Like Rupert in Fight Club who found his happy place while getting his chemical burn, I found my happy place. I did notice that the pain was most excruciating at the beginning of the release, and a bit into it the hurt plateaued somewhat. Once done, I received a huge shot of antibiotics in my thigh and an antibiotic to take home. My symptoms were gone in about 48 hours.
Don’t get chlamydia.
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ohohsailor
wrote on April 5 2009 @ 10:58 am: [report]
okay, sucks this happened.. but “the clap” is actually referring to gonorrhea and not chlamydia. from the symptoms, you did have chlamydia, but it isn’t referred to as “the clap”.
Amelia
wrote on April 5 2009 @ 12:46 pm: [report]
Oh we’re just calling all of these tales “How I Got The Clap…” not just this one—so yes, we know that chlamydia isn’t the clap. Like, the next post like this might be about herpes, but it will still have the headline that starts with “How I Got The Clap…”
wild-ting
wrote on April 5 2009 @ 01:44 pm: [report]
Owww WEEEE! I feel your pain. No not really, and I don’t ever want to. Thank you for sharing.
juliePS
wrote on April 6 2009 @ 07:38 am: [report]
just wanted to add that when I got chlamydia (in a long-term relationship from a guy who presumably cheated on me, unless he somehow magically developed an STD all on his own), I had no symptoms at all and didn’t know I had anything until I went to the doctor to get tested before starting a new relationship. Get tested regularly, people!
PinkRanger
wrote on April 6 2009 @ 10:37 am: [report]
A study was done just recently at a private college in my area *known as a hippie school, taken to the extreme* found that 65% of the 7,000 students had some sort of std. I was so disapointed to hear a statistic like that, especially when most of the students there are liberal activists that I see at rallys and events. You need to be an activist for yourself! Use protection, and get tested.
lalaland
wrote on April 6 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]
PinkRanger, if they included HPV then that number is actually kind of low. The American Social Health Associations says “Nearly three out of four Americans between the ages of 15 and 49 have been infected with genital HPV in their lifetime.”
And most Men will never even know they have it as there is currently no approved test.
PinkRanger
wrote on April 6 2009 @ 10:53 am: [report]
@lalaland: I forgot to mention that the study didn’t include HPV, although they are having a seminar on it for students in the area that want to be more informed. There is a separate study being done for HPV alone in preparation for the seminar.