How I Got Over Being Afraid To Get Married

Posted by: YourTango.com Filed in: relationships
11:00AM, Saturday February 20th 2010

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I had always been sure I wanted to get married, and the longer I dated Dean, the more sure I was that he was the right one for me. That is ... until I got engaged.

Dean’s proposal wasn’t a surprise. I was too nosy to not know it was happening, and I enthusiastically said yes the moment he asked. However, once it happened (in a sweet and thoughtful way, I should add), I began to feel these nagging questions eating away at me: Did I really want to be married? Would we be any good at it?

I love Dean, but in the bright light of wedding planning I found myself picking him apart. Every minor misstep seemed like a warning sign urging me to think twice. When he got my coffee order wrong, I accused him of never listening to me; when he was running late the night we had dinner plans with my friends, I screamed that he didn’t value my time. He usually fell asleep before me and he woke up early, which I used as an example of our lives being out of sync. Everyday things that never mattered before were suddenly turning into major crises. Read more ...

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Imoan

wrote on February 20, 2010 @ 5:36 PM

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If you guys need more feature writers, there are plenty of people who might be qualified and could use the work or the exposure.

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dizzy

wrote on February 20, 2010 @ 5:47 PM

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@Imoan: That's a very nice way of saying it. Yeah, I have no idea why they link YourTango either.

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LadyMacBeth

wrote on February 20, 2010 @ 6:25 PM

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To be fair, this particular article actually had some semblance of a beginning, middle, and end to the writing, more than I've come to expect from some of the off-site links.

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Imoan

wrote on February 20, 2010 @ 6:48 PM

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I didn't say anything about the quality of the piece.I do happen to think it panders to a less savvy audience than TF typically attracts.In my opinion.

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draymond

wrote on February 20, 2010 @ 10:38 PM

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I too found the piece too superficial. She got engaged, she suddenly got psycho, she decided to look at all the positive things. and realizes that staying married cannot be done on cruise control.I kind of felt sorry for her, she has no idea of how tough it is going to be. She and her fiance wants one child. Fine, but how will they react when they have trouble having that one child or that child does not turn out the gender/temprament/etc. that they expect. Or dies at a young age? Or one of them decides that they would rather have more than one. What happens when one of them tires of the favorite vacation spot before the other.Here is the real advice for newlyweds. Life is not going to turn out like you expected. I can't say how, but the chances of it turning out exactly how you expected are almost nil. Happily ever after is more a result of being able to roll with the punches than anything else.

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bluebuildings

wrote on February 21, 2010 @ 9:22 AM

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i don't even bother clicking the tango links anymore. their articles are terrible, plus, their roll over word advertisements make me feel like i'm navigating through a game of Frogger.

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sparklestar

wrote on February 21, 2010 @ 8:44 PM

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I'm not clicking them either, their articles are beyond dumb.

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Imoan

wrote on February 21, 2010 @ 8:54 PM

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Officially I apologize to the author at your tango. I didn't know everyone agreed with me.Is anyone at TF listening?No more externally linked pieces.Your stuff is soooo much better.Keep it coming.Who needs vacation? Rest when your dead.

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hunnybunny

wrote on March 11, 2010 @ 7:21 PM

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I think she was right to look at thing and really take a step back you have to b objective about your marriage and your partner I highly sugest pre-marital counseling and waiting for the enthrallment to where off before you even get engaged an average of 2 years. living with someone having them in your face all the time with their own set of expectations. It is hard and at time no fun.Not something to be taken lightly at all but I also think she is stupid to be worried about things that happend to her friends she she needs to worry about the annoying things he does because let me tell you you might think that him sitting super close is not so bad now but after 5 years and 2 kids you might want your space and for once him not to be touching you.

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How I Got Over Being Afraid To Get Married

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