How Did You Spend Your Wedding Night?
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
relationships, sex
9:00AM, Tuesday August 11th 2009
If you’re newly married, like I am, New York Magazine has a question for you. While they couldn’t care less about the “amazing D.J. who complied with your drunken friend’s repeated requests for Journey” or any other detail about your wedding day, they are interested in your wedding night. Specifically, they want to know if you got busy with your new spouse. Replies will be published (anonymously, of course) in their winter “Weddings” issue. For the record, after an intense week and a very emotionally-heightened day, I passed out fully clothed in a drunken stupor sometime between 2 and 3 a.m. on my wedding night. There were, however, several free hours between our lunch reception and the after-party at our apartment, and when someone asked how we were going to fill the time, I replied, “Consummate and decorate,” and that’s exactly what we did. [via NY Mag]
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CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 08:20 am: [report]
Yay sex!
That sounded pathetic.
YAY SEX!
Still no better. Wahhhhh.
bogart4017
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 02:27 pm: [report]
I don’t think expectations are as high as they used to be years ago. Most couples are already sleeping together or having engaged in pre-marital sex so they would be satisfied with just traveling to an exotic island or gambling like drunken sailors on their wedding night.
ThatChick
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 02:47 pm: [report]
I know this sounds lame, but since we were getting married at our church, we waited the ENTIRE duration of our pre-marriage counseling, and STILL didn’t get busy on the big night. We partied till 2, passed out, and went to church the next morning. *sigh* We made up for it ASAP, though. Come to think of it, that’s probably how we ended up pregnant…..
White Mushroom
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 04:56 pm: [report]
We went to the hotel, tore our clothes off, got busy, then jumped back in the car and drove to a friend’s place and smoked a joint. Do I win?
writergirl
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 06:43 pm: [report]
I was five months pregnant and told my husband that if he touched me I was filing for an annulment. We left the next morning for our honeymoon. I had been sick at our wedding, by the time we landed, I qualified as deathly ill.
We didn’t consumate our marriage until Monday morning. And I hate morning sex, I just couldn’t stand listening to him go on and on about it anymore.
thickasawhaleomelette
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 12:36 pm: [report]
I just saw this article in Reuters’ “Oddly Enough” about a woman still in her wedding dress being awoken by police, who found her passed out in the back of a car with a crate of vodka. I guess it’s safe to assume how she spent the night…
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE57A5C520090811
wonder_bread
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 02:33 pm: [report]
thats weird i alway assumed since most people were having sex before marriage ..the wedding night wasnt much of a big deal anymore.. i mean unless u stopped as soon as you got engaged or when all the pre-marriage counseling started… ive been told its just like any other night just now ur legally tied to each… nothing deeper since they’d already been sampling… but thats them.. as a virgin..i still want to wait
Jenn27549
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 04:40 pm: [report]
Not the night of…we were both too tired and drunk…but we went into it knowing that was going to happen. So we did the deed in the early afternoon BEFORE we split up to get ready for the ceremony. And yes, we even stayed together the night before the wedding even though everyone said that was wrong. We had out of town guests crashing at our place for the weekend/wedding so I felt weird having one of us leave anyway. AFTER the wedding it was 1or 2 days before we had sex as a married couple.
Oltman12
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 07:22 am: [report]
My husband lived 13 hours away for 5 months before our wedding. We left our reception about an hour early and went to our room where we consumated our marriage.
meganh
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 09:32 pm: [report]
We didn’t have sex for a month before the wedding, and we were definitely looking forward to the wedding night. The maid of honor and best man decorated our suite for us before the reception ended - there were tons of tealights, a rose-petal path leading to the bed (covered in more petals), champagne in an ice bucket, and a hot bath. It was a fantasy setting for absolutely fantastic sex. 3 times.
For the record, wonder_bread, while waiting until marriage is admirable, premarital “sampling” doesn’t make the wedding night less important. Ours wasn’t like any other night - it was deep and very meaningful.
wonder_bread
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 10:49 pm: [report]
@meganh- i can see how ur wedding night could have been special… and a few others who commented on this post.. but my findings were more targeted on the couples who never stopped having sex even up until the day.. i mean to each their own but as i’ve found and asked those who don’t wait or stop until they make it offcial just mark it as the day the law recognizes that they’re shagging and nothing more.
writergirl
wrote on August 18 2009 @ 05:46 am: [report]
@wonder bread—and that last sentene proves more than anything you’ve never been married.
marriage isn’t just a “recognition” that we were “only” shagging—it was a marker in our relationship that we were deeply committed to one another. Sex and committment often times go hand in had for people.
Just because you’ve remained a virgin and intend to do so until marriage doesn’t mean you understand the mind set of the rest of us who didn’t. Or that you can even contemplate what marriage means to us.
Marriage is deeper than sex. I don’t think you understand that concept yet.
spark
wrote on September 10 2009 @ 12:42 pm: [report]
@wonderbread. you sound very naive. i don’t think it matters whether you stop having sex for a month before the wedding or do it the night before: wedding sex is ALWAYS going to be different and special. it is not “just another night,” and to assume that it is really devalues the whole wedding and marriage experience.
Queen Frostine
wrote on September 10 2009 @ 12:47 pm: [report]
We married at five, receptioned dead sober until midnight, tore our clothes off and had sex in the hotel room, then re-dressed casually and came back out to liquor it up in our friend’s suite until four in the morning. Then we went back and had drunken sex. Then we got up at 8am for a hung over breakfast and gallons of coffee.
We had sex up until the week of the wedding. The week before was too busy to get down, so we just didn’t have time.
loco116
wrote on September 11 2009 @ 10:56 am: [report]
I am actually getting married in December and my fiance and I have not had sex for 3 months already. We have recently started pre marital counsiling and we have decided to stop living together till we are married. So my fiance was sweet enough to move into his parents house until the wedding. Its going to be great being able to wake up to him everyday!