Have A Problem With Mustaches? Take It Up With The American Mustache Institute.
Posted by: Ami Angelowicz
Filed in:
guys
12:40PM, Monday July 6th 2009
Every Sunday night, my girls and I go down to our local speakeasy bar and suck down cocktails prepared by our favorite bartender, Thomas. He’s a hot guy—tall with brown hair, blue eyes, a nice smile, ‘30s style garb (complete with suspenders), and a big, fat, honking…mustache. This mustache has sparked a heated debate among the ladies. Half the group thinks it’s sexy; the other half wants to attack Thomas with a razor. ‘Stache style has ebbed and flowed over the years—there’s the crazy Salvador Dali waxed ‘stache of the ‘30s, the sexy ‘70s ‘stache a la Burt Reynolds, and the ironic ‘stache of the last few years popularized by hipster boys. The question: Would you ever smooch a dude with a lip sweater? I say why the heck not, but apparently not everyone is so open-minded.
Enter the St. Louis-based American Mustache Institute, the “freedom fighters working against the bias and stereotyping plaguing the Mustached American race.” Their mission is to promote the “growth, care, and culture of the mustache, and work to create a climate of acceptance, understanding, flavor saving, and upper lip warmth for all Mustached Americans alike.” Yes people…there’s finally a support group for mustached men. Wait…what is “flavor-savoring?”
AMI is serious about their mission—they recently got involved when a Texas high-school boy, Sebastian Pham, was sent home from school because his lip fur violated the school’s dress code. AMI rallied the community to have the school rule overturned.
Go ‘stache avengers! Maybe I’ll bring some AMI reps to the bar with me next Sunday to talk some sense into my ‘stache hating ladies. Are you a mustache discriminator? [Asylum.com]
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Jessica Wakeman
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 12:50 pm: [report]
How do these guys with handlebar mustaches ever get laid?
Ami Angelowicz
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 12:56 pm: [report]
Handlebar mustache doesn’t necessarily equal bad in bed. :(
Adam(aka)AP
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 01:00 pm: [report]
I’ve grown a mustache numerous times. Almost always I get told I look like a cop or get dirty looks. I usually grow the mustache with a goatee and it looks okay. My thing was usually to quote Super Troopers and ask “Who wants a mustache ride?”
DrAbeFroman
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 01:14 pm: [report]
As chief executive officer of the American Mustache Institute - the bravest organization in the history of mankind behind only the U.S. military and post-Jim Henson Muppets - let me add some perspective.
People of Mustached American descent are a powerful breed, and to the fool-hearted Jessica Wakeman’s point, we are men and women of great virility, power, and of course, good looks.
We are leaders, power brokers, lovers, and nail technicians. Yes, sometimes we murder, but only for pleasure. More often, however, we love, we live, and we eat pork products without utensils.
Thank you Ami, for bringing this fine piece of prose to the AMI’s attention, and never forget, a mustache is a terrible thing to shave.
Carry on.
Dr. Abraham Jonas Froman
CEO
The American Mustache Institute
http://www.AmericanMustacheInstitute.org
877-STACHE-1
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 01:17 pm: [report]
@AbeFroman: I thought you were the sausage king of Chicago, why the sudden job transition?
DrAbeFroman
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 01:54 pm: [report]
My biography on the American Mustache Institute administration page clarifies. Thanks:
http://www.americanmustacheinstitute.org/Administration.aspx#froman
Ami Angelowicz
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 01:55 pm: [report]
Hi Abe!
Thanks for your passionate commitment to the mustache. Can you tell me what “flavor savoring” is? I’m scared that it has to do with left over food. Please confirm or deny.
DrAbeFroman
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 02:40 pm: [report]
Thanks for your angelic interest Ami with an “I” (which is cuter). Flavor-saving is the ability to trap delicious flavors, nutrients, vitamins, and chunks of food and mucus in ones lower nose garden.
Carry on.
tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 04:12 pm: [report]
Just a ‘stache? Ick. 70s porn all over it. Combined with a goatee? Yum.
I Go To 11
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 05:29 pm: [report]
Face fuzz doesn’t do anything for me, sorry. To each his own, though.
wowo
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 11:18 pm: [report]
I am a SEXY and HOT girl from New York,
someday I found a HOT place for u guys
:——-KissCougar @ C O M——
if you want- know more big fri-ends,even l-over,
please have a try .
Sara.B
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 11:51 pm: [report]
I too love me some face hair. Way better than getting microdermed to death by a five o’clock shadow. Like tatooed_redhead, I prefer the stash/goatee combo. Fu-manchus are cool too and very bad boy.
Rock on Dr. Abe
bogart4017
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 11:27 am: [report]
nobody ever mentions the “number-runner’d” moustache!!
Its worn very close to the top lip and very thin (think little richard circa 1956). Its clean and easy to maintain and the wife doesnt complain of being “tickled”.
bumbler
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 11:33 am: [report]
Love it. My Dad has had a mustache my entire life and every once in awhile he considers shaving it off but I beg him not to. Its part of his identity for me, when we went on family vacation in Mexico all the men called him Mister Mustache.
Would I date a man with a mustache? (more appropriate question: would I support my husband growing one?) No. Reminds me of my Dad.
nance.p
wrote on July 8 2009 @ 02:10 pm: [report]
Mustaches, in my opinion, need to be reserved for men that are…dare I say it? Older! Don a stash if you are friends with my father, ride a Harley, have a full grown white beard and dress up as Santa for Christmas or are going to a mustache party.
I must say, however, that a prefer a mustache, any shape or form, over that little patch of hair that men sometimes grow front and center, under their lower lip. Also known as a flavor-savor or taint-tickler. Yuck.
C.Munro
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 04:17 pm: [report]
I’ll grow a Kradackledack (Magnum-style copstache) two or three times a year just for shiggles. Almost every woman I know hates it, which only adds to the amusement for me.