Handle This: Makeover Your Man
Posted by: Chelsea Kaplan
Filed in:
relationships
11:00AM, Monday December 8th 2008
Do you want to rip the clothes off your partner’s body not because you’re insanely attracted to him, but because you hate his style so much? While it may seem like an impossible task, switching up your guy’s style is actually quite simple—as long as you carefully plot the steps you need to take to correct his numerous wardrobe malfunctions. Need tips on where to begin? We’ve got some fail-safe man-makeover suggestions from Laurie Graham, a celebrity fashion stylist in Los Angeles.
Choose Your Words Carefully: When it comes to inspiring your guy to undergo a style makeover, remember that flattery will get you everywhere. “A great way to broach the subject of rehabbing his look is to tell him how great or sexy he would look in a collared, starched shirt, cashmere sweater, or whatever it is you’d like to see him in,” Graham advises. “Why not say, ‘With a great butt like yours, you would look so hot in a pair of dressier dark jeans. Can I show you the ones I’m thinking about?’” Ultimately, he wants to look good for you, so remember to stress the payoff associated with embracing a new look. Graham suggests: “I know you wear a lot of blue, but a camel colored sweater would really show off your gorgeous brown eyes! It makes me weak in the knees just thinking of you in a soft, cozy sweater like that!’”
No matter what you do, don’t insult or complain about his wardrobe, and steer clear of nagging him. Even if it’s how you feel, Graham says, resist the urge to blurt out, “I’m so sick of always seeing you in the same wrinkled shirts and baseball caps,” or “I wish you dressed more like Jennifer’s boyfriend – he always looks so hot!” Doing so will only put him on the defensive and likely result in his clinging onto his old duds even harder.
Consider That His “Lack Of Style” May Actually Be Masking Some Insecurities: Find your up against a guy who’s adamantly resisting change? Odds are this battle’s not about his style but something more personal. A lack of willingness to consider your fashion suggestions may be an indication of a bigger insecurity he’s trying to overcompensate for – say, a growing midsection, smaller biceps than he had in college, or a small stature. “In this case, you’ve got much bigger issues to deal with than his Tommy Bahama shirt with the Tabasco Sauce bottles all over it,” Graham notes.
Fill Up His Closet Yourself: If you want something done right, sometimes you have to do it yourself. If you’re desperate to fill his closet with the types of things you like, for the next special occasion why not give him a new shirt you love or a pair of shoes you find exceptionally cool? Once he realizes how many compliments he starts receiving from your stylings, he will be much more inclined to go shopping with you and take your style advice, Graham says.
When All Else Fails, Consult A Professional: If shopping with you is causing him to have frightening flashbacks of back-to-school shopping with his overbearing mother and resulting in nothing but arguments beween the two of you, consider enlisting the help of a professional stylist or personal shopper. “When you bring in a professional, you’re no longer in the position of being the bad guy,” Graham explains. “An unbiased third party can point out why his current fashion may not be as flattering as he thinks. Additionally, by showing him specific examples of different styles, colors and cuts that are best suited for his specific personality and body type, he will start to see that he can look 10 years younger and 15 pounds lighter with the right clothing.” Because the style advice is coming from someone else’s mouth, he may be more likely to embrace a new way of looking at himself.
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EastCoastMale
wrote on December 8 2008 @ 11:21 am: [report]
hmm..um..ok. Now to sound totally the bad guy but I dont think a majority of men would be as warmly receptive of the ideas named in this article as it might have you think. A shirt is nice as a gift dont get me wrong, however I think this is a scenario that is all too often played out. A man is just that, a man, just as a women wouldnt appreciate her man saying she needs to change her style and then start buying her gifts that he would like to see on her; I doubt a man enjoys it either. Just because you have a sense of style and like picking out clothes doesnt mean the person on the other end enjoys receiving them, let them pick their own wardrobe.
shannac02
wrote on December 8 2008 @ 11:41 am: [report]
I’m going to have to agree… Just the thought of completely making-over a man really would make him think you can’t accept him (I think)... and personally, I like guys with quirky styles, I once loved a man that owned Kilts (yes, plural), and the fact that he loved them and didn’t care that it wasn’t the “norm”, made me love him more…
P.S.: No, Kilt-guy wasn’t from Scotland… At all.
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 8 2008 @ 11:48 am: [report]
yea shanna that is the thought pattern I have. Wanting to change someones style or wardrobe, be it all at once or over time, is blunted by the fact of how long it takes or if its with little hints. The man will still know your trying to change him and dress him basically lol. Each individual likes their own style and doesnt want it encroached upon, I would say this is the same for man or woman. If a man were to start suggesting dresses and tops to a woman I have a strong sneaking feeling she would say “who’s wearing this me or you” and maybe give a little bit of an eye roll….could be wrong just saying. =)
shannac02
wrote on December 8 2008 @ 11:54 am: [report]
Uh-greed. There would DEF be an eye-roll of Olympic proportions! I love to shop and am a TOTAL brand whore, but that doesn’t mean my man can’t be a jeans (or kilt) and t-shirt guy… I agree with the whole: “A shirt is nice as a gift…” thing, but if you buy 80 pieces that are NOT at all what he usually wears, he will know that you’re trying to change him, and why try to change someone you love? I thought you were supposed to love someone for everything: flaws and bad taste in clothes
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 8 2008 @ 12:15 pm: [report]
You definitely understand what Im saying here and it is refreshing to hear the reality of things from a womans point of view and not just “but I want himt o look cute” or “his taste in clothes is bad so Im just helping him out”, its not helping if it is like the articles says, its a takeover. =)
joyy
wrote on December 8 2008 @ 02:05 pm: [report]
Yeah, I think trying to change someone that much is a bad idea. Helping someone update a portion of a wardrobe he’s in need of is nice, but doing something because you want them (and all their stuff) to be what you like instead of what they like is selfish and rude.
I’m starting small: my bf is simply a typical guy - he says all guys wear socks and underwear until they can’t anymore. One pair of boxers he had had an 8 inch rip where the waistband met the rest of the fabric - so I ripped it so far he couldn’t wear it anymore (playfully, of course). So I’m buying him some nice underwear and socks (as in cashmere socks) in addition to stuff he asked for. As for his collection of bad haiwaiin shirts? The things we do for love
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 8 2008 @ 06:39 pm: [report]
joyy I am interested to know, did he laugh it off or was he disappointed you ripped his undergarment?
joyy
wrote on December 9 2008 @ 09:10 am: [report]
Heh, he was a little surprised that I actually did it since I’d been saying for a while that I was going to. I also took my time so he could have actually grabbed my hand and stopped me if he wanted too. They were pretty bad, so he just laughed (he also has enough underwear, albeit hole-ridden, so it’s not like there were consequences for him after that). But yes, we were both laughing the whole time. I also told him I would replace them myself, though I haven’t gotten around to it til now.
And like I said, I plan to replenish his supply of dying undergarments for Christmas, especially since I noticed both his socks had huge holes worn in the bottom last night. Silly boy. I think I’m going to do a mix of nice stuff (he’s actually mentioned that he really likes cashmere socks, I mean, who wouldn’t?) and everyday stuff. He’s already mentioned that half his underwear was gifts from his mom over the years, so if I don’t get him some new stuff, I know he’ll never do it himself. It’s a little ironic though, since he makes a LOT more money than I do.
amylou
wrote on September 8 2009 @ 12:55 pm: [report]
yes, this all seems a bit too manipulative…