Girl Talk: The Thrill Of Sexual Tension
Posted by: Natalie Krinsky
Filed in:
relationships
11:30AM, Tuesday December 16th 2008
My new favorite show is called “Gavin & Stacey.” It’s a British show on the BBC about a cute guy named Gavin and a cute girl named Stacey who work and live in Essex and Wales, respectively. They meet when they’re forced to talk to one another on the phone for work. Finally, after six months of pining, they agree to meet in person. After much nervousness and baited breath and pacing and primping, they discover they’re totally and completely in love and live happily ever after, with only a few hiccups because of their neurotic but hilarious families and friends. Gavin and Stacey heart each other.
Well, at least after, like, seven episodes they do.
Recently, this entire scenario happened to me, except for the “in love” part, and the “we’re actually meant for each other part.” Other than that, it was exactly the same.
A few months ago, I began emailing with Dave. It started out of work-related necessity, but soon Dave and I were exchanging five, ten, fifteen, twenty emails a day. Hours would go by where I would get nothing done. Instead, I would stare at my computer, attempting to come up with witticisms that Dave would find impressive. I would hit my email box’s “refresh” button with the unencumbered enthusiasm of a rhesus monkey. I scoured YouTube, looking for clever and amusing videos I thought he would like. Like this one.
Because who doesn’t want to “Blame it On the Boogie”? Or see what Michael Jackson looked like when he was less than 50 percent plastic?
My productivity was low, but my propensity to act like a giddy fifteen-year-old with a first crush was very, very high. I would call friends and read them our email exchanges out loud. And, for the record, as amusing as you might find your email exchanges with a guy you like, no one—and I mean no one—extracts an even remotely similar level of enjoyment from them.
Dave and I exchanged phone numbers and became Facebook friends. Text messages flew back and forth. When I was drunk I would scroll through his photos like a psychopath. And don’t judge me, because you totally do that stuff, too. I’m just moronic enough to admit it.
I had developed a full blown virtual crush.
Unlike Gavin and Stacey, Dave and I didn’t need to traverse great distances to meet one another. We both live in Los Angeles, and soon the day came when we met. The attraction was there. I could feel it. OK, maybe, just maybe, we weren’t as dynamic a match in person. But, I justified, maybe he was shy. And we did have our burgeoning email relationship to fall back on.
But how was I going to transition our bandwith love into taking our clothes off in front of each other?
The answer came to me in a late night text message: “Do you want to make out?”
I replied: “Yes.”
I was excited. Actually, excited is a vast understatement. I was expecting fireworks, explosions, being thrown up against a wall and shown who’s boss (him, not me).
I drove to his house and waited on the doorstep.
He was very drunk. I was way too sober. The fireworks never happened. Our hookup was more like a slow, sputtering, awkward engine.
I left the next morning feeling disappointed. Was it my fault? Was it his fault? Were there faults in this situation? Had emailing somehow created tension where there wasn’t? I couldn’t decide.
Perhaps it was a little bit of all that. Attraction can be mental and physical, but there is also something chemical, something that didn’t happen that night, and something that I had wanted to happen so badly. Perhaps that was it. The thrill of the tension had duped me into creating a romance in my mind.
Whatever the case was, one thing remains true. I really do miss his emails.
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Diana Vilibert
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 12:01 pm: [report]
This is the story of my life, including the rabid text exchange, email refreshing, YouTube scouring, and drunk Fabebook pic browsing (in that order). My worst experience was when months of flirting lead up to sex so bad that I stopped him in the middle and told him I changed my mind. Sigh. Sometimes the tension is best left unexplored.
crmsnkatt
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 12:52 pm: [report]
Sometimes I have to wonder if virtual flirting should be left in the virtual world. There are times when it works, but for me more often than not, it’s a resounding NO. The few times that I’ve met with a guy that I have an email exchange like that have gone horribly. I think I’ll stick with the email/IM flirtation for now.
Perceptible
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 01:30 pm: [report]
It worked out better for me. My BF and I started emailing for other reasons, but it quickly became friendly, and then flirty. When we finally did have an actual “date” there were fireworks in our first kiss that haven’t gone away a year and a half later. By far the best relationship I’ve ever had.
Tao
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 02:01 pm: [report]
Works both ways…I was a buyer for a company in Missouri, she was a customer service rep in South Carolina. Mid-90’s, no company email, so I got to listen to her fantastic Southern accent several times a day. Developed a HUGE crush just on the sound of her voice. Did this for almost a year before her company decided to fly her and the Account Exec to my company. The let-down was palpable: she was cute, but taller and larger than me. The comfortable, anonymous give-and-take over the phone was much more difficult when sitting face-to-face. We had beers at a local pub that night, made a half-hearted attempt to make out, and finally settled for a good night peck and called it an evening. Totally ruined our phone chemistry. Within a month I was assigned another customer service rep. Sometimes the mystery is better than getting to look behind the curtain.
Tao
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 02:16 pm: [report]
However…flash forward to a couple of years ago. I took part in a bullentin board discussion regarding various sex and relationship topics hosted by a friend. A few weeks into the discussion, I began a side discussion with a captivating woman. Well-read, well-spoken, opinionated, passionate…the emailed exchanges were stimulating, to say the least. We kept it up for several months, and the online flirting swung from innuendo to truly tasteless, and it was all fun. We finally agreed to meet, and it was a fantastic beginning to a great period in my life. Intellectual, sexual, great sense of humor…it lasted for several months before the honeymoon cooled down and we parted ways. It was truly a scenario where the product lived up to the hype, and I’m glad I bought into it.
Humble Bee
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 03:30 pm: [report]
Amelia!!!
Dont you know!!!!
You NEVER drive to a guys house when they text you in the middle of the night. Means they are drunk!!!
and with a sudden, “lets make out”. Tisk Tisk Tisk. BIg RED flag. I think maybe if you were drunk or he was sober, JUST maybe it would have worked out. I learned my lesson, i started talking to a guy on the phone (we met through a friend). He was totally cool and we had a lot in common, then i asked him if he could describe himself, he said medium build, not too fat, hair short from the side, a little long from the back. So i was like, eh, he shouldnt be too bad. I’m sorry for sounding so shallow, but Men lie, he lied!!! The not too fat thing sounded fishy, he was totally FAT! and his hair! OMG he had a full on mullet. I seriously wanted to ditch him, but i told him what i was wearing, and he saw me!!! Atleast i got a free meal. and a VERY good lesson.
Humble Bee
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 03:33 pm: [report]
whooops, Natalie!!
sorry. I was just reading one of amelias. lol.
shannac02
wrote on December 17 2008 @ 10:41 am: [report]
Ahhh yes… Sexual tension is the BEST… Until it turns into the worst experience ever… Geez. Kinda like the guy you meet in a bar, and “what the heck” give him your number, you text back and forth, and it turns into the worst relationship ever… Yeah.