Girl Talk: I’m Turning 30, So What?
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
relationships
11:00AM, Tuesday October 27th 2009
In three weeks I am turning 30 years old. This is apparently a big deal, or so says everyone around me, and I am feeling a lot of pressure to celebrate it as such. But for some reason, I can’t really get worked up about it—either in a positive or negative way—and I don’t think that’s such a bad thing.
Last year I made a big stink out of my 29th birthday. I spent the weekend in Atlantic City with a few of my closest girlfriends and partied my butt off. I had a birthday party with everyone I could possibly think of invited. And then I had a birthday dinner with my nearest and dearest. I did all of this because I knew I might be crippled with depression otherwise. After all, my fiancé had just dumped me and my 29th year was no longer going to be the one in which I got married and started thinking about having kids. I was back to square one and I desperately wanted to distract myself from thinking about that with the help of a little pseudo celebration. It sort of worked.
This year is different. Thirty is a fairly epic birthday as it’s the start of a new decade, one that will likely feature all those “getting older” milestones of marriage (if I decide I want to, that is), kids, and career advancements. Some people find this scary because they think it signifies the end of a fun, fancy-free youth filled with boozing and boning and that they’re oh-so-much closer to death. As a result, I think a lot of people go balls out on 30th birthday celebrations as a way of telling themselves and anyone who will listen that they’re still alive and kicking, and having a great time of it, dammit! Kind of like I was doing last year, only I was trying to prove to everyone, including myself, that despite getting left by my fiancé and not knowing what in the hell the next stage of my life was going to be—because that was seriously frightening to me—I was going to be OK.
Three weeks away from turning 30, I feel great about where my life is. I have an awesome group of friends who really proved how supportive they could be in the last year. My mom and my brother live in the same city as I do and my dad and I, who have had a rough go of it over the last few years, are on good terms and getting to know each other again. I’m healthy and, most of all, I’m happy. I have a wonderful dog, a great apartment, and the best—if exhausting—job a person could ask for. I’ve met someone new who, at the very least, has made me realize that I can feel strongly for someone again. And Barack Obama is president! How can I not be content?
I don’t feel the need or the desire to make a big deal out of turning 30, because it seems so inconsequential in comparison to the changes that have occurred in my life over the last year. I don’t feel depressed about being another year older, but I also don’t have a desire to make a big stink about what a fabulous 30-year-old I’m going to be. Basically, I think I’m going to treat 30 the way I would treat any other birthday—I’ll put on a fun dress, have dinner with my friends, drink myself stupid at a bar, and then tuck myself in, content with not knowing what is going to happen next.
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jld117
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:14 am: [report]
I loved turning 30! What’s not to love about being 30? Just like you said, you have a great job (one that some of us would kill for), you’re healthy, have a great apartment and a great dog, great family and friendships. 30 was when I felt people finally started taking me seriously (at least a little bit). Still young and vibrant, but finally an adult. I’m turning 32 in two weeks, and it’s still not so bad. I honestly don’t feel a day over 25 besides the added responsibilities of a husband, house and career. Embrace life - wherever you are - and very happy birthday Amelia.
Perceptible
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:17 am: [report]
I was so depressed about turning 30! But I was in a bad marriage that ended a few years later. Now I’d give anything to be turning 30 again ‘cause I’m 39 and dreading the next b-day. I can definitely feel a crisis coming on! :(
Nutmeg
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:28 am: [report]
Sounds like you’ve already got a handle on it. I’d love to be turning 30 again, but 36 next week will just have to do.
And 30 isn’t the beginning of one decade, just like how 2000 wasn’t the 21st century yet :D
Have fun!
brandyalexander
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:28 am: [report]
Amelia- my b-day is in two weeks, and I can’t seem to start giving a f*ck about turning 30. Maybe there’s something wrong with me, but I just don’t care one way or another. Perhaps it will hit me that morning when I wake up, but I seriously doubt it.
SassyDaisy
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:38 am: [report]
I am not 30 yet in 2 more years, but every year for my bday i feel the same way as i was 21 or younger. Yes i do look more mature (not old) but i like how i’m aging and the feeling that comes w/it…i’m actually ok w/the idea of turning 30 and where my life will be then.
Happy early BDAY by the way
BlueVibe
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:45 am: [report]
As somebody who’s eyeing 30 in the rear-view mirror: Who cares? The difference between 29 and 30 is the same as between 28 and 29, or 27 and 28. You don’t magically turn into a toad the instant you turn 30. Anxiety about it is ridiculous.
AlisonNoelle
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]
I turn 30 in 2 short months. Its odd. Even though I’ve been married for a little over 7 years and have 2 kids I still feel like I’m 18 or 19. I don’t feel 30. When I was younger I thought that when I turned 30 life as I knew it would end. I would be uncool, my kids would be embarrassed to be seen with me, I would have to change the way I dress, blah, blah, blah. Not the case but still. I still have this palor of dread hanging over me. Hubby and friends want to throw me a huge party (my bday is Dec 28th so it’ll be a /New Years party) but I just don’t want it. I know that 30 is supposed to be the new 20 but still…...
BedRocka
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:04 am: [report]
hehehehehe ... I feel great and I like where my life is ... awesome group of friends blah blah blah blah ... c’mon if 30 wasn’t a big deal we’d let it pass with no fanfare but alas! we have to acknowledge and convince the planet that I’m single turning 30 and happy about it. I guess if you are happy and feel great you shouldn’t need to reiterate it. You know what they say .. ” After 30 it’s down hill, the best thing though is people have the Most fun going down a hill than up” so wear it out!!
H. Blue
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:13 am: [report]
I was SO excited to be 30 (two birthdays ago) because I thought maybe I was finally getting my life together. I was so hopeful that 30 would be MY year. I had just gotten out of my marriage, which was my only real relationship up to that point- or at least the only one the guy would acknowledge. I wanted to party, like it was 1999. I dressed slutty for the occasion, and got a group of girlfriends together for dinner and drinking, and I thought, dancing and getting my face snogged off by some hot hot man. Instead, my DD bailed on me and I was at home by 10.
The highlight of my day was getting hit on by two 19-yr old thugs in a beat-up little Toyota at a red light earlier in the day.
Then this year, when I turned 31, I wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening. I sent myself on a solo vacation, thinking “I might as well get used to being alone since this seems to be how it’s going to play out.” It sucked.
However, it seems that things really are turning around now. It’s nothing to do with the number, just to do with the fact that I’m finally getting myself together. So, 31 might be my year.
If you don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, don’t. If you do, that’s great too. I hope you have a wonderful day, however you choose to spend it.
bogart4017
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:38 pm: [report]
Do what you like. Hopefully there will be plenty more b-days. Save the next big one for 40! You’ll feel even better and from all i’ve read you’ll feel sexier. Enjoy!
majicksand
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 06:03 pm: [report]
I was fine with 30. For some reason, I panicked over 31.
retro chic
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 09:24 pm: [report]
There’s a lot to look forward to… Sex gets better and better, Amelia! Celebrate big or small, it’s the after party that counts.
I, for some reason crashed on my 29th, almost like a dress-rehearsal for what I thought would lay ahead. Once my 30th actually came, I sailed right thru it, ready for life as I saw it then as a true woman.
Also, I noticed there are a lot of (us) Scorpio women on the site! Happy Birthday to y’all, too!
og217
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 03:17 am: [report]
If you are in a truly good place, 30 is great, I just turned 30 two weeks ago. I have a great marriage, and a great job, good friends, financial security, nice home. I think I would not have enjoyed the 30 thing if I was single though. I know, everyone’s supposed to be all sex and the city, grrrl power, rah rah rah, but I would not want to be out in a club all made up and half naked, feeling like the oldest girl there. Just me.
courtneylocke
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:11 am: [report]
Turning 30 in Feb and already a little anxious, but this was encouraging. Thanks, Amelia!
RobinUncommon
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:20 am: [report]
30 is great! I’m looking forward to 31…
Queen Frostine
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:53 am: [report]
Just 3 months until 30. I’m right where I want to be in life. Old goals are met, new goals are set. Life is fun, albeit challenging at times. I’m throwing a kiddie birthday party (hats, noise makers, goody bags, etc.) as a reminder to myself and my friends to always stay young at heart!
rdkilldujour
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:02 am: [report]
@ retro chic YES! sex does improve with age! who knew?
year 30 was good, 31 was great… to my surprise, each year gets better. Happy Birthday to you!
brandyalexander
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 12:35 pm: [report]
@retro: its cause us scorpio women love sex, that’s why we’re all here
C.Munro
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 12:36 pm: [report]
30 is pretty damn cool, if you ask me. I felt almost relieved to be out of my 20s. Not that anything is particularly different from being in one’s 20s.
Oh, and Scorpios rule.
theoldman
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 12:37 pm: [report]
Yes women get better as they get older. Compare Catherine Deneuve in Indochine (52 or 53 I think) with her in Belle Du Jour (21). There is an elegance that comes with time and yes older women are better in bed or on the kitchen counter or .... You haven’t hit 40 yet and that is when they begin to get real good. You still have 10 years left in your apprenticeship.
Morwen
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 12:40 pm: [report]
I’m getting 25 next month, and still don’t get what the big deal is.
DancerNinja
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 02:01 pm: [report]
My thoughts on birthdays in general: Way to go, you were able to go another year with out being snuffed off by Natives, plague, of natural disaster. Maybe it would matter more to me if I lived in harder times or rougher places.
ginny
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 05:20 pm: [report]
I JUST turned 30 a couple of weeks ago and I was really dreading it. The surprising thing is, once it hits, you stop and wonder “is that it?” I don’t know if I expected lower back pain to sprout overnight, or to wake up and find 4 new wrinkles around my eyes, but amazingly, I was still the same person. Go figure!
equnsuocha
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 05:30 pm: [report]
30 is nothing, its fun and liberating and a milestone, wait until 31. That one sucks because now you are officially “in your 30’s” when people describe you to others.
Inakika
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:50 pm: [report]
I turned 45 in September and I’ve never felt better. 30’s were great, I had a blast, but 40’s is amazing. Enjoy 30 and all that is to come!
mikeyellenlee
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 05:27 pm: [report]
Happy Birthday! I turned 23 today :D
MetryJen
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 02:05 pm: [report]
I turned 30 last week, and I agree with the poster that said they were relieved to be done with their 20s. My 20s were awful - fires, hurricanes and a divorce to top it all off, my 30s absolutely MUST be better.
I felt the same pressure to party, but that’s not really me anymore, so I wound up just going out to a nice dinner with the friends and fam, and hung out at the bar across the street from my house. Do what *you* want, not what people expect you to.
Kai29
wrote on October 31 2009 @ 11:53 am: [report]
I turn 30 next spring. My two closest friends and I are planning to meet up in NY since we’ll all be turning 30 within weeks of each other. It’s going to be great! The good thing for me, about turning 30 is that I’m understanding what it is I really want and need out of life. The bad think is that I won’t be able to blame anything on being, “young & inexperienced”
EricaB
wrote on October 31 2009 @ 02:41 pm: [report]
I turned 30 this year as well, and didn’t feel like it was such a big deal. However I’ve got the hubby, the kid, the house, etc. I’ve never really been into huge birthday blowouts anyway (my family “made” me have a party for my 21st).
nola
wrote on November 16 2009 @ 10:13 pm: [report]
I know I’m totally late on commenting on this, but I really hate the phrase “big stink” ...
That being said, I love your confidence. I’m about to turn 20 (well ... in 7 months) and I couldn’t be more excited. Then again, that’s probably because 20 is one step closer to 21.