Girl Talk: Guys, Keep Your Porno Fantasies To Yourself
Posted by: Anonymous
Filed in:
sex
11:00AM, Wednesday November 18th 2009
“Tell me what you want to do to me,” I cooed in Brandon’s* ear. It was our first time in bed together and I was hoping he would pass my “dirty talk test.” The test is simple. I ask the man what he wants to do to me and he responds with his own special brand of dirty talk. Easy, right? Not always so simple.
It’s easier to get the little head than the big head in the game. But the problem is, I only want to have sex with a man when both heads are present. I want him to understand that my pleasure takes place first in my mind and then in my body. And if he can’t stimulate my mind, he has a very slim chance of stimulating anything on my body. Sure he can fumble his way around and accidentally push a button, but why bother? I know some people don’t like to talk; they just like to “do.” But for me it’s not enough.
The idea of sex is almost as powerful as the sex itself. I want to hear what turns him on—really turns him on—and I want him to find out what really turns me on. It could be sweet and gentle or rough and nasty. I don’t care what it is, as long as it’s his. Sex is not a monologue; it’s a dialogue between two people. It’s rare to find a man who is able to articulate his turn-ons and ask about mine. Yet so many guys seem to think they know what turns a woman on. Where are they getting all this knowledge about female eroticism? Porn. Womp. Womp.
For the record, I don’t think it’s bad for people to look at porn. It’s not personally my thing, but I get the appeal it has for some. My main issue with porn (or the influence of porn in the bedroom) is that it’s so irrelevant to actual sex. I think that it’s fine for a quick self-romp or a shared partner activity if both parties are into it, but when you get into bed with a real person, the porno “acts” just don’t really translate, at least for me.
I had high hopes for Brandon. We had gone out a number of times and he seemed like a smart, grounded, fun guy. We talked about philosophy, comedy, and music. We talked about our families and our childhoods. He seemed kind and generous and, most importantly, I felt respected by him as a person. When we kissed for the first time, it was surprisingly passionate. He kissed me with his whole body and when he touched me I could feel the sexual energy oozing out of his fingertips. Great chemistry. All good signs for the sex that was about to happen.
“Tell me what you want to do to me,” I said again.
“I want to put your legs over your head and split you apart,” he said. “And then I want to come on your face and tits.”
He went on like that for a while—never pausing to ask me a question in return or check in with me—just continuing to repeat trite storylines from internet porn clips. The disconnect between the Brandon I was getting to know, the one I had kissed, and the porno director that I ended up in bed with was startling—bordering on offensive. It’s not that I felt turned off by the particular sex acts he mentioned—hell, I‘ve engaged in most of them in the past—it’s just that the real Brandon wasn’t in bed anymore. He was replaced by a litany of improbable, porno fantasies and in my place was the porno actress meant to play the part of “sex object.” I didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel real.
Geez … keep your porno fantasies to yourself, I thought. I liked you better when you weren’t trying to be John Holmes. Please don’t ever tell me again what you want to do to me again.
Confused and disappointed by his “dirty talk test” failure, “I’m not really into that,” was all I could say.
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dizzy
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:09 am: [report]
If you ask a guy what his fantasies are, what the heck were you expecting? Sorry, honey, ANYTHING is fair game when you ask that question.
xifeng882
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:16 am: [report]
I’m with Dizzy. This article was pointless. You wanted dirty talk, there, you got it.
cataclysmicdiva
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:18 am: [report]
Yep…I get that. I also personally enjoy “dirty talk”...of the right kind. I think it might be easy for some, if not most, men to be confused about the difference between acceptable dirty talk vs. script from an amateur porn. Calling me a “sex slave” will get you no where in a hurry; a line like “who’s your daddy?!” will likely send me into hysterical laughter; however, appropriately timed(!), a line like “suck my d*ck” or a “yeah b*tch you like that” will get me really hot. This is not required every time we have sex..only when I’m in the mood for foul-mouthed prowess..when I’m in this mood tho, I generally also prefer a bit of kinky flava..holding my legs down while he goes down on me, or hair-pulling during the act, or a number of other things are generally acceptable as well. But of course, it’s only my mate who gets to talk to me this way—and only during sexy time.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:20 am: [report]
Hiding behind the moniker anonymous is like taking it from a gloryhole.
diabadass
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:24 am: [report]
there’s definitely a difference between dirty talk that is shared between two people, where you get to feel like you are part of the fantasy, and a porno recitation where you feel like he could just as easily replace you with a blowup doll. dirty talk should go both ways. he should not only want to do things with you (rather than to you) but he should want you to like it.
SuperMag
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:26 am: [report]
“Tell me what you want to do to me…”
Umm, don’t be surprised if he indeed tells you what he wants to do to you. If it’s not what you wanted to hear, well, I guess you’ve made a poor choice in a partner, eh?
peanut0988
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:31 am: [report]
i’m parted on this issue. on one hand, i agree with xifeng and dizzy - ask and you shall receieve, even if it’s not always what you were hoping to hear - but at the same time i totally understand what you’re getting at. it’s not so much taking issue with what he had to say but that it wasn’t his own idea - it was something he stole from porn. sadly, many guys today don’t understand sex is a give and receieve act - it takes two to tango - and two to communicate and reciprocate what each needs. he was very caught up in his fantasy he wasn’t making any room for yours.
dizzy
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:37 am: [report]
Um, I’d like to point out that she specifically said twice “Tell me what you want to do to me,” which implies a one-way action. I would bet that he would never have come up with this in a normal situation but was asked to give his dirtiest fantasy, and specifically a fantasy in which he was doing something TO her, not with her.
SouthOC
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:43 am: [report]
A well rounded man will also incorporate what pleases a woman into his fantasies. IMO, healthy sexual relations are meant to be heart, body, and soul. In the big picture, what “Brandon” said he wanted to do isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but jeez dude, on a scale of 1 to 10 you can’t go to 7 the first time you’re together.
warmfuzz
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:43 am: [report]
I choked up on the comments, dizzy right on lol
majicksand
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:46 am: [report]
Wait. So you put the guy on the spot, expecting him to accomodate your ‘dirty talk’ requirements on the fly, but when he spouts the first thing that comes to mind you’re pissed? Maybe he’s never been a “talker” before but knowing that it was important to you, he gave it a try. He didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to say, but he didn’t want to look stupid, so he mimicked what he’s heard.
This is obviously a guy who is “plugged in”. You threw him a curve, and he did the best he could. Whining about it doesn’t make him look like a bad lover. It makes you look impossible to please.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:51 am: [report]
majicksand hit that one out of the park. You’re acting like an entitled female who needs it her way and no slip ups are allowed.
Still think these “Anonymous” posts are silly.
Lynn
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:55 am: [report]
Yeah…you can’t get angry at him for telling you what he wants when you ASKED him. And it’s not like he said something you couldn’t have expected, like “I like to dress up in a Christmas Tree costume and pee on you while you meow like a cat.” What he said was pretty normal as far as I’m concerned. And until you say you’re not into that, how should he know to stop talking? He can’t know what you don’t tell him.
SCRMOM
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:55 am: [report]
Majicksand said it perfectly.
@SouthOC: Keep in mind that this was the first time they have ever had sex. I’m sure he thought what he was doing was pleasing her based on her request.
C.Munro
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:59 am: [report]
Definitely with Majicksand on this one. The writer says, “I want him to understand that my pleasure takes place first in my mind and then in my body.” But instead of communicating that openly to her partner, or waiting a couple more dates before having sex so they can get to know each other better, she devises these silly little tests to see if he’ll just happen to do what she wishes he’ll do in exactly the manner in which she wants them done.
Not only is that self-defeating, it makes the writer look like an emotionally immature, heartless narcissist.
sportzriter13
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 12:02 pm: [report]
agreed. Don’t ask a question if you aren’t prepared for the answer!
BTW-porn fantasies aren’t strictly a guy thing. I’m as bad or worse than my boyfriend.
SouthOC
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 12:06 pm: [report]
@SCRMOM: Understood, and agree. I’m just saying that a guy who has been around the block a few times might want to hold back a little at first to find out if they’re on the same page.
The first time with Mrs. SouthOC was great, but very tame compared to what would follow. (although to be honest, she didn’t say “tell me what you want.”) That almost feels like a trap…
H. Blue
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 12:08 pm: [report]
Yeah, I agree with the others on this pretty much.. And I think the fact that it was the FIRST time you were together is the key thing. He had nothing to base it on, because you hadn’t gotten to know eachother’s bodies yet. There was no way for him to know your likes and dislikes, how you wanted to be talked to, what would turn you on. When you do the dirty talk thing, I think it should be more of a conversation, but also based on past experiences together and what worked for you as a couple.
At the same time, all that said, since it WAS your first time together, he probably shouldn’t have taken the bait, but you also shouldn’t have put the pressure on him. Maybe telling him a little of what you like is a better route to go the first time.
majicksand
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 12:13 pm: [report]
@lynn: I’m still laughing, and I’ve read 5 comments since yours. Great visual!
hobbesnblue
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 12:14 pm: [report]
I’ve been in a position lately where I’m nudged toward more dirty talk than I’m used to.
I want to let loose and give it a shot, but it’s difficult, knowing that people can be as judgmental as Anonymous here…
pragmatryst
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]
No. A well-rounded man will incorporate his PARTNER’S fantasies into their REAL LIFE sex play if he wants to please her. When it comes to HIS personal fantasies, he’ll incorporate whatever the hell gets HIM off. That’s why it’s HIS fantasy. It’s what HE likes. This woman asked the guy to recite what HE likes to say when she was really interested in what SHE likes to hear. If she’s not bright enough to ask the right question she’s going to continue to be disappointed with this so-called “test” of hers.
bettyboo
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 01:07 pm: [report]
I do sort of get where the author’s coming from, pretty much everything my first boyfriend wanted to do seemed to be lifted from the pages of fiesta or escort (top shelf porn mags pf the early 90’s before the internet really took over..). What he lacked was the ability to enthuse me about these fantasies, probably because they weren’t really about me and him, and it was difficult to really believe the letters in these mags.. and the clincher was, his seduction technique to get me to try stuff was ‘but the women in the porn mags do it…!’ which strangely enough (given the women in the porn mags all seemed to be rather unattractive readers wives with unbelievable stories) wasn;t something I could see myself emulating…. :0P
bogart4017
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 01:51 pm: [report]
Aaaaahhhh…this is why i hear women i work with complain about their husbands being so quite in bed. They want to hear something but they don’t know what they want to hear. Just what they DON’T want to hear. “Why Men Don’t Talk” indeed…
ElleSays
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 02:27 pm: [report]
“Tell me what you want to do to me…”
He did tell you. He didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear, therein lies the problem. If you’d been having such great conversations to begin with, why not let him know that what’s you like. He’s not a mind reader and it’s ridiculous to expect him to be one.
NomChompsky
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 03:27 pm: [report]
I agree with basically every comment above.
The only thing I would add is that it’s silly to take a monolithic view of porn; I would wager there are thing represented in some pornographic films which you yourself would enjoy.
MuchoMacho
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 04:05 pm: [report]
i introduced my gf to something i saw in porno about a month ago that she loved. i will never tell anyone what it is either, and ill never tell her where i learned it. the truth will not set me free.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 04:08 pm: [report]
@mucho: No, it will only send you deeper into the never ending downward spiral, into the depravity and shame that is hardcore pornography. It will not end or relent.
SCRMOM
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 06:08 pm: [report]
@MuchoMacho:
My bet is that she already assumes that is where you learned it. Give her a little credit!
lilliest
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 06:49 pm: [report]
“Confused and disappointed by his “dirty talk test” failure , , ”
Jesus. It’s not his fault he did not meet your unexpressed expectations. It seems like he gave you want you asked for, in a literal sense. What if his preferences are genuinely whatever he listed?
Anon is just judging him because she met someone kinkier than herself, and it was intimidating. Before, by catalyzing the dirty talk she was the freaky one , , , it seems as if she has met her match.
draymond
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 07:58 pm: [report]
It sounds like she wanted to hear about his wishes and he thought she was asking about his fantasies. Like it or not porn is about male fantasies. And most guys know that they are fantasies that really aren’t going to happen and might not even be all that fun if they did.
On the other hand there are folks who really do think that sex is supposed to be like in porno. Maybe you were lucky to find out first.
mousygirl
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 08:52 pm: [report]
there were porn magazines called fiesta and escort? that makes me think of the ford motor company in a whole new light…
kray417
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 08:55 pm: [report]
So the guy basically tell her what position he would like and has the courtesy to tell her ahead of time where he plans on ejaculating. Big Deal.
Oreo
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 09:10 pm: [report]
I have to agree with the community here. This article is completely pointless. The bottom line is that you don’t approve of your boyfriend’s fantasies despite the fact that, by your own words, they didn’t turn you off and you’ve done some of them before.
So he wasn’t the Brandon in the bedroom that he was out of the bedroom and this upsets you. That is utterly ridiculous. Frankly, I’m glad that people keep their bedroom personalities in the bedroom.
My partner and I engage in many different kinds of sex. Some of it is porno-inspired, some of it is sweet and romantic, some of it is just plain silly and we end up laughing our asses off at a position that we just can’t get to work the way we had hoped. There are different flavors of sex, and this is one of his. If you want to introduce a new flavor, by all means go to it, but whining about this on the internet in the hopes of getting support is just plain silly.
SouthOC
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 10:26 am: [report]
@pragmatryst: I feel you brother, but he’s not masterbating or with a hooker, he’s with a woman (and this is their first time together).
I guess I’m coming from the perspective of not being a player. I was never really into one night stands, so I’m assuming that this will not be a one time thing. If I’m wrong…
Yodar Critch
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]
So lemme see if I understand this.
You asked your partner (twice) “Tell me what you want to do to me?”
And he was supposed to magically read your mind and tell you what YOU want him to do to you?
You want your partner to talk dirty to you but only in the precise way that you want?
Yodar Critch
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 10:52 am: [report]
“I like to dress up in a Christmas Tree costume and pee on you while you meow like a cat.”
Lynn, that was supposed to be something special between just us two!!!!!
arikira
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 10:58 am: [report]
SouthOC—you’re right about the trap thing. It DOES feel like a trap.
I’m also with magicksand. Your hookup did the best he could given the curveball you threw. ANYTHING can be considered a porn-inspired fantasy, because EVERYTHING is done in porn. Its quite a diverse genre of video, with many sub-genres and sub-sub-genres. Anything he said could have been interpreted as porn-inspired objectification.
And, if it were—so what? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with objectifying your lover if they specifically request it, as you did, when you demanded “Tell me what you want to do to me.”
I’ll also agree with C.Munro by saying this story makes the author seem woefully immature and narcissistic. I don’t know about heartless—that could be inferred more accurately from how she may have subsequently broke up with the poor guy due to her own misguided judgment of him.
The poor guy, Brandon, despite being the victim of a rather silly, immature young woman, is also to blame. Considering they’d gone out several times he should have been keen to the fact that this girl is so judgmental—he, therefore, should have been more careful about the fantasy he was communicating. Maybe gone for something like “I want to #&@$% you slowly from behind while I lick your neck and ear.” See—That’s hot, but not nasty (cum all over her tits and face??? yuck! not to mention could be very unsafe) or overly dominant.
Hmm… Maybe they had already done that and he was trying to up the ante. Oh well. I’m tired of this. Bye.
ydragurl
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 11:30 am: [report]
I agree with what most everyone else has been saying—‘Anonymous’ shouldn’t have asked her guy what he wanted to do to her if she wasn’t preparped for or didn’t like his response. That being said, what guy comes out the gate talking that XXX-rated stuff? You don’t do that during first-time sex—you gotta work up to that stuff.
pragmatryst
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 04:17 pm: [report]
Point taken. As much as I believe the author ambushed this guy with a loaded question, he could definitely use a lesson or two on the fine art of subtlety not to mention he totally torpedoed any chance he may have had by not providing her with a copy of David Spade’s Porn-to-English dictionary—“Oh mama, I’m going to do a frontside boneless on the squeeb squab.”
writergirl
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 04:54 pm: [report]
@Lynne—that was the funniest line I’ve read here in a while.
And Majicksand hit the nail on the head.
TheNewOriginals
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 07:01 pm: [report]
I could understand if the article was a lamentation about a lack of imagination and creativity among those whose fantasies and dirty talk are based entirely in porn and nothing else- but a “test”? Come on! That just ensures a lack of honesty if guys feel that they’re being tested by sharing fantasies. Hell, I’m a chick and I once failed some idiots’ “test”- we dug each other and when he asked me out and then wanted to fool around, I wanted it and went for it. A couple weeks later he informed me that it was a test and since I “threw myself at him”- you know, wanting it as much as he did- I “failed”. Lame.
I was with an awesome guy who was inexperienced with women, and his early dirty talk and fantasies he shared were garden variety stuff but it still turned me on so much just cause it turned him on, and grew MUCH more creative with the dirty talk later on! Everyone’s gotta start somewhere, right? Yes, some guys- and girls- have a narrowly defined idea of sex and aren’t willing to expand their repertoire but those tend to be the same people who lack any kind of intellectual curiosity and I wouldn’t want to share a bed with them anyway.
thegnu
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 07:05 am: [report]
@the comment about how most men don’t realize that sex is a give and take thing:
i don’t disagree, but i would expand that to include women. finding someone who is considerate and cares about you too is fairly special. most women i’ve been with may care the first time, but they end up being passive, and really not caring. i’ve discovered that the trick is to not sleep with people who don’t care enough to deserve my caring.
thegnu
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 07:10 am: [report]
plus, anybody that presumes to “test” me in a relationship runs the risk of ruining everything with me. also, anyone who tests me to see if i’m connected and open is obviously missing the fact that fabricated tests are not honesty or openness.
ooo, he failed your “test”? he should dump you.
Fast Eddie
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 08:53 am: [report]
I realize that we are all different and a one size fits all doesn’t apply, but I’ve had 40 plus partners and with each of them it was a unique experience. As Dizzy pointed out it’s a together thing. That said, we are telepathic beings and there is a need to state what we want sexually. One the same page it the thrill of discovering was the top of my list. Too bad there isn’t a non-threatening sexual survey that we check on a potential partner before going out to dinner. That would save a lot fumbling but wouldn’t give us anything to look forward to. My wife of 22 years and I are still discovering each other which keeps our interest and libidos alive and well. Sorry but it isn’t a risk free world and the rewards are not guaranteed. Opening a dialogue is a good idea but who should initiate it? These are questions that we all must answer for ourselves and take responsibility for the result.
AlphabetJ
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 12:09 pm: [report]
If the person asking has an expectation of what the reply should be, maybe the asker should have set the pace first? Maybe she should have first said something dirty to him on the level she was hoping to hear back, instead of asking such a very loaded, open ended question like that?
whatshesays
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 01:21 pm: [report]
Fast Eddie- I think you mean we aren’t telepathic beings? (though that would be kind of awesome)
CheezeDoodles
wrote on November 22 2009 @ 11:15 pm: [report]
@Nom: it’s totally unrelated to this article, but I must tell you: you’re breathtaking. That smile could be its own electrical company.
Ok, moving on…
Dirty talk is a tightrope for both guys and ladies. Until you know someone REALLY well, this is dangerous ground. Sex is one of the basest things we humans have in our coding; it calls up all sorts of animalistic facets of our personalities that we don’t see all the time, just when the situation calls for it.
You don’t ask a man or a woman what they want to do to you sexually unless you’re sufficiently able to deal with whatever wild-ass answer they’re going to toss your way. Ever heard the aphorism “still waters run deep”? Brandon fits that to a T. Does this mean he was fake? Hell no! It means he knows when to embrace his inner slut and when to keep it quiet. That, I applaud.
Problem here, dear author, is that you weren’t ready to see the seamier side of his personality. And when you did, it blew your mind. Understandable. But the conversation about what’s cool and what’s NOT cool should have happened before the “tell me what you want to do to me” thing.
I’ve been with men who were God-awful at dirty talk, should have been banned forever from ever uttering anything remotely close. But the fact that I asked the question was what opened the door. And from that point forward, it was on ME to deal with whatever I was about to hear. Most people won’t go wandering down that path unless you send that invitation.
Have I heard things that damn near made my eyes fall out of my head? You betcha! Did it make my opinion of the man change? No, because I knew this was situational, a fantasy, something that’s a small part of the bigger picture. You shrug it off and move ahead, or if it’s too much to take, you address it at a non-sexual time later. But don’t nail your guy or girl to the cross over it…YOU ASKED FOR IT.
After a couple has been together for a while, they know what is and isn’t cool with the other. To ask this loaded question the very first time you’re about sleep with someone? Really?
The whole notion of “testing” Brandon is high schooler #&@$%. Move past that, or you’re going to find yourself writing a lot of “why I’m dissatisfied with _____ in relationships” type articles.
dmariie
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 09:58 pm: [report]
im with Lynn on this one. you asked, he answered.
dsedwards12
wrote on November 26 2009 @ 08:57 am: [report]
At least “Brandon” told you what he wanted to do. He could have just done all of that without saying a word. Now that you could be offended by… or by the high fives he would pass out to his buddies.
DSR2000
wrote on November 30 2009 @ 03:03 pm: [report]
i hate that question and i think you’re an idiot for asking it. No offense. A guy once asked me what i wanted to do to him.. the answer i gave him whatever you want to do to me. and he did whatever he wanted to do to me. it was awful.. because in the back of my head i was thinking.. wtf am i supposed to hsk him back in return.. what do i do next? Keep it to normal dirty talk.. it works better..
Shriekback68
wrote on December 3 2009 @ 09:17 am: [report]
I realize I’m late to this discussion, but I wanted to chime in and say that Majicksand nailed it. Brava!!
Jonjo Powers
wrote on December 3 2009 @ 02:11 pm: [report]
As a man…wait minute, let me check…Yeah, as a man, the first thing that struck me about this article is that the author had a “dirty talk test.” I have encountered a great percentage of women who have “tests” they give a man. I graduated a long time ago. I’m not looking for tests, I’m looking for communication.
If you want a man to talk dirty, remember these two simple words: You first. Set the tone and let him pick up on it. Men love to be taught by a woman in bed. We want you to tell us and show us what turns you on and gets you off. I mean, it’s not like women coming with instruction manuals. And even if you did, we wouldn’t read them; we’re male!
Speak up!
Choushinsei
wrote on December 23 2009 @ 01:01 am: [report]
You should have told him what was wrong and what was it that you wanted afterwards, instead of ranting about how incompetent men are on the Internet.
Now I feel like I can do a mistake with a woman and only know it months later because she has told the whole world about it instead of telling me. What a great feeling.
ZoosChef
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 04:25 pm: [report]
The author should know you never ask a question you don’t want the true answer to! I feel like this Anon would have reacted differently if he has spouted something that, by chance, was exactly what she was into, regardless of whether she was more involved in the plot. Because this question was asked as a test, and not with any intention of getting insight into her partner’s desires, it seems the author tuned this guy out as soon as he started drifting into territory she wasn’t expecting. She was obviously uninterested in learning what this guy was into, as she had initially let on to poor ol’ Brandon.
When my fiance talks dirty to me, it’s wild. What I love about it so much is that it IS a departure from the regular him, the nice guy who’s got an earnest appreciation for computers and talks about political theory with an adorable excitement. Getting him into his animal mindset, where his lust takes over, is exactly what excites me about his dirty talk. And even though he’ll ask for my input (“You like that??”) I would be just as happy listening to the x-rated fantasy he wants to make with us and slipping right into it.