For Women, Arousal Comes After Sex
Posted by: Carrie Wasterlain
Filed in:
sex
4:50PM, Wednesday July 22nd 2009
A new study shows that for women, desire follows – not precedes – sexual arousal. Rosemary Bason of the University of British Columbia explains that, “for many women, desire is not the cause of lovemaking, but rather, its result.” Women often begin sexual experiences feeling sexually neutral, she says, but by the end of the sex sesh, they often feel more aroused than they had before they started fooling around.
Perhaps this is because most women don’t orgasm during intercourse. So, when the man is “satisfied” post-orgasm, the woman probably never reached her climax, and is, well, still wanting to! Obviously.
But whatever the reason is that we (women) feel more “desire” post-sex, one thing is clear – drug companies should stop wasting their time creating Viagra-like drugs for women, since they probably won’t help us. Perhaps instead of creating drugs to arouse us before sex, they could spend their money creating a drug that would help us climax during sex. Now that I would invest in. [Psychology Today]
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ChoJinn
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 04:07 pm: [report]
Makes some sense: second and third orgasms are typically easier to elicit than the first. Add in the fact that it takes a second for the oxytocin to really start circulating and you (men) have all the more reason to keep things a rollin’.
writergirl
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 04:32 pm: [report]
maybe this is why women get a burst of energy from sex.
roastchicken
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 05:54 pm: [report]
Could be the reason why I’m always ready for round two
sklut
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 08:24 pm: [report]
I’m such a man when it comes to sex. I always climax first, could care less about cuddling afterwards and usually fall asleep before my boyfriend can even stop sweating. He loves that about me.
friskyman68
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 06:45 am: [report]
I really resent the tone of this article. ” So, when the man is “satisfied” post-orgasm, the woman probably never reached her climax, and is, well, still wanting to! Obviously. ” I get it some guys fricken suck in bed. But that doesn’t mean all of us or even most of us.
tabby
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 07:54 am: [report]
@friskyman68, I think that the author was simply pointing out that it takes a while for the desire to kick in for the females and that if you are in the midst of a quickie (or your guy really doesn’t last all that long), then the women are still on round one when their men partners are on round two. I know that happens to me quite often and that my S.O. is more than willing to oblige in helping me finish round one.
gloriafretz
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 09:16 am: [report]
@sklut - I am the same way (although I do like to cuddle after and so does my man). I can normally orgasm within the first few seconds that we get going, and usually another 2-3 times before he does. So, I am BEAT by the time we are done. From what I hear from my friends, many of them can’t orgasm during sex… I can’t imagine…
retro chic
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 10:28 am: [report]
I think it’s been known for awhile that we can (and do) go multiple rounds, with each orgasm deeper/better than the previous. Each wave carries over to the next round, building more to other kinds of orgasms. This is esp true in relationship sex. So, I think it’s wrong to assume that all or most women want more ‘cause they didn’t “O” the first time. The hope is that you’re with someone who is willing to go the distance. Think this is what ChoJinn was saying, just diff.
ahw
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 10:48 am: [report]
Yeah. I think it’s important for not just men but women to realize that some women can orgasm multiple times just through vaginal, and some women really work up to just one, and they require lot of clitoral stimulation. Rather than searching for a drug that makes orgasm easier, let’s just focus on learning our bodies…
bogart4017
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 02:23 pm: [report]
@Makes perfect sense in some women. The 4th and 5th orgasms are easy to elicit than the 1st. As it goes on the orgasms are closer together and more intense. By the last orgasm shes good for the rest of the week!
roastchicken
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 12:52 am: [report]
@ bogart4017: Good for the rest of the week? What the hell? More like good for the rest of the night. :D I want sex daily, not once a week.
@ friskyman68: Most guys are pretty good in bed..but being good in bed doesn’t guarentee the woman an orgasm. Sometimes, it just ain’t gonna happpen..doesn’t make the guy an inadaquate lover.
bogart4017
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 08:00 am: [report]
@Roastchicken-it usually is more than once a week but she has never been an every nite chick. She’s more like a 4 times a nite 3 nites a week type. A girls gotta sleep sometime right?
Ms. LeFay
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 11:59 pm: [report]
I think it just depends on the moment. I think slow romantic sex builds up to a feeling of deep intimacy that peaks after the physical satisfaction fades. However, if it’s a more…um…aggressive session, the shock and awe just leave me delirious.
HDS1963
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 04:38 am: [report]
My attitude to sex is that sex is a race where the woman should always come (cum) first. No man should be so selfish that he leaves his partner unsatisfied.