For The Frugalista: Wal-Mart Caskets
Posted by: Susannah Breslin
Filed in:
news
9:00AM, Friday October 30th 2009
I’m not going to lie—I like Wal-Mart. Sure, I prefer Target, but there’s something fascinating about Wal-Mart. I mean, I bought a t-shirt there the other day for $3. Three bucks! That’s, like, a sandwich. Anyway, thanks to the crappy economy, Wal-Mart is the go-to shopping spot for many Americans, whether they’re looking for clothes, food, or furniture. But did you know that Wal-Mart also sells caskets? Yes, it’s true. They’re only available online—I guess it wouldn’t be too cool to turn down an aisle and find yourself surrounded by caskets—but the store’s got quite a selection for those frugalistas with someone to bury and looking to save. Ranging in price from $895 to $2,899, there is an array of styles to chose from: Lovely in All Ways, Dad Remembered, and Lady de Guadalupe. I’m partial to the American Rose with soft pink crepe interior myself. [Via Urlesque]
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_jsw_
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:11 am: [report]
They’re only available online?!?
So, Grandma dies, everyone’s sad, people are asking when the wake and funeral will be, and you’re stuck saying “Well, 7-10 business days from now. It could have been Tuesday, but overnighting a casket costs a damned fortune!”
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:16 am: [report]
Walmart has not cornered the market on this. Costco also sells not only caskets, but urns as well…only available online.
_jsw_
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:19 am: [report]
OK, I looked into it (I needed to distract myself from the pimple-popper fetish story). Shipping is two business days, costs $99 (at least to my area), and delivers most places.
Half the time it gets there in two days, and half the time, three, according to their schedule.
As tacky as it might sound, this is actually going to help a lot of people who otherwise would pay either far more for the same casket, or the same for a vastly inferior one.
Riley
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:19 am: [report]
There are a lot of people that simply cannot afford to claim bodies because there is no money to bury them. Death is expensive. Caskets are only a part of the expense though.
To Broke to Die
Rose
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:20 am: [report]
I’m not surprised WalMart is getting into caskets. Getting into caskets is easy; it’s getting out of them that’s difficult.
_jsw_
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:21 am: [report]
@Rose: Good one.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:24 am: [report]
Death is disgusting. You get all bloated and then you turn to liquid, that is if the bugs don’t get to you first.
brandyalexander
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:25 am: [report]
Since this is aimed at WalMart shoppers, do they come in extra-wide?
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:25 am: [report]
@brandyalexander: The correct terminology is “Double Wide”. Please respect that.
Rose
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:27 am: [report]
@_jsw_, thanks! It’s an oldie but a baddy, and I love bad jokes!
_jsw_
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:27 am: [report]
@brandyalexander: If you read the link, you’ll see that they do, indeed, come in wider sizes. Just 4” wider, though, so some folk’s will need to be puréed to fit in.
brandyalexander
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:29 am: [report]
sorry, cheeese. double-wide.
j- eww.
_jsw_
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 08:35 am: [report]
@brandyalexander: You’re right. That crowd isn’t really into puréeing things. They’d probably use a wood chipper.
spatula
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:00 am: [report]
I like Walmart too, I do almost all my grocery shopping there. (Because apparently I am fat and stupid and like wood chippers?)
But I definitely see it as a positive to make caskets more affordable/accessible. Sure, it makes everyone uncomfortable to talk about death, but seriously, the price of caskets really is a huge, restricting problem for some people.
_jsw_
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:05 am: [report]
@spatula: I shop Walmart too. For a lot of things I buy, I can get the same things there for a much lower cost, although I do have some ethical concerns about their business practices.
However, surely, as a fellow shopper, you’d have to admit that the chain has at least its share of portlier-than-average people. And, as anyone educated by “Fargo” can attest, a wood chipper is much more efficient at body disposal than a hand blender. So the chipper is more practical… like the Walmart crowd.
I don’t recall anyone suggesting that Walmart shoppers were stupid.
spatula
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:12 am: [report]
@jsw I don’t mean to argue semantics, I just tend to get (admittedly irrationally) infuriated by sweeping generalizations.
brandyalexander
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:17 am: [report]
Stereotypes save me valuable time.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:19 am: [report]
I am suggesting Walmart shoppers are stupid.
_jsw_
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:19 am: [report]
@spatula: I understand. I just wanted to make it clear that often, when I mock, I’m in the group being mocked.
@brandyalexander: Of course they do. Such a lazy way to go about things… you twenty-somethings are all the same.
brandyalexander
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:20 am: [report]
Cheese, thank you for that thoughtful suggestion…
I concur.
*sam*
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:33 am: [report]
Like, omg people. You know, like, sometimes Wal Mart is the ONLY option available to people! Ugh! Why can’t people just like, get along, and stuff? Not everyone who shops there likes it, they just do it because it’s either that or the Salvation Army! I’m like, SO tired of hearing people say that I’m fat, ugly, dumb, or unethical for shopping there, because like, I’m sorry, waiting 7-10 business days for my groceries to get here is like SO not happening!! <off fake soapbox>
seriously though. I have been to a few towns here in NC where Wal Mart really is the only retail store. It’s quite sad. But, in regards to the article, if people can’t afford to bury a loved one, I’m all for funeral pyres coming back. Throw me on a make shift raft in the middle of a retention pond and throw me a few maltov cocktails!!
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:38 am: [report]
@*sam* LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!!
spatula
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:39 am: [report]
whoaaa
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:42 am: [report]
ಠ_ಠ This disapproving look is for you Frisky.
bethlynn00
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 10:24 am: [report]
People need to stop dissing Wal-Mart, I just a copy of Scarface there for $5, FIVE DOLLARS PEOPLE! That’s freakin’ awesome if you ask me.
Discounted caskets huh? Almost too good to be true, I figured the shipping costs would be killer…
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 10:29 am: [report]
@jsw: I can get it for free on the internet. I don’t see your point. Other than packaged foods I just don’t see going there.
brandyalexander
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 12:15 pm: [report]
walmart sucks.
JFD8
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 01:00 pm: [report]
When you’re going under six feet,
Our coffin deals cannot be beat;
From cradle to grave
At Wal-Mart you save
When we mark your checkout receipt.
News Short n’ Sweet by JFD8
http://twitter.com/JFD8
Secret Story Time
wrote on October 31 2009 @ 09:39 pm: [report]
What do they do, send it to your house and you store it somewhere?
Unbelievable!
Secretia
Tamara
wrote on November 1 2009 @ 06:35 am: [report]
Thanks Riley you made me miss home so much with that