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Five Easy Ways To Spot A Douche Bag

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It’s Friday, finally!  And you know what that means…it’s party time. We single gals have gotten rid of last weekend’s losers and it’s time to round up a fresh crop of cuties.  All that daydreaming of drunken flirting is about to come true!  While alcohol can blur your vision, there are some tell tale warning signs to help you spot douche bags. Topless Robot has come up with a list of ten items, but we’d like to add five to the red flag list, after the jump…

1. Backwards Hat Sure, at a sporting event its fine, but when you’re trying to play the game you gotta clean up to clean up.
2. Sheer Shirt A nice linen shirt that the sun makes see through can be hot, if you’re at the beach.  But by night, we should only be able to see you sorta naked if we take you home (or to the bathroom). No mesh and no unbuttoned to your belly button.
3. Gross grease Too much hair gel is an overcompensation to look slick, but it just makes a man look like a prissy oil slick. Case in point: The Gotti boys.
4. Over-Accessorized While some jewelry can be hot—like a pinky ring—if a man has more bling on than your do, he’s straight up superficial.
5. Sunglasses Indoors Sure, a pair of shades can make a regular dude look like a sexy superhero, but when it’s dark out, they’re just dumb.  Besides, if you can’t see where a guy’s eyes are looking, he’s probably trying to hide what he’s looking at.

 

Tags: list, douchebag, five ways to spot a douche bag, gotti

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teets's avatar

teets
wrote on May 9 2008 @ 03:34 pm: [report]

I would also like to add fraternity sweatshirts, t-shirts, sweatpants and messenger bags to that list. In college it was pretty lame and as an adult, I think men who wear that crap should be shot on sight.


Kiki T's avatar

Kiki T
wrote on May 10 2008 @ 11:09 am: [report]

Slip on shoes needs to also go on that list.
Plus, the more expensive the pair, the douchier the guy.


blackfarfalla's avatar

blackfarfalla
wrote on May 13 2008 @ 08:03 am: [report]

oh yeah, so how about the pointy shoes and overly colored sunglasses! oh, oh and don’t forget about the “fauxhawk”.


Catherine's avatar

Catherine
wrote on May 13 2008 @ 08:30 am: [report]

@teets: What kind of bag is a guy to carry if not a messenger bag? A backpack? That seems way more douchy (or juvenile) a choice.


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