Financial Opposites Attract

bellereve
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 03:14 pm: [report]

Been there. Done that. It did NOT work out. He was an excessive spender on ridiculous things just to say that he had them…. needless to say, it freaked me out when I thought about a future with that and ended it!

amorsalado
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 04:11 pm: [report]

That describes my husband and me perfectly, and I do think it balances us out, but we had more than one big fight before we got here.  He was impulsive and spent on silly #&@$%, even if he didn’t have the money to spare, and I was frugal to a fault.

I’ve helped him stop spending money on true crap at the expense of the water bill, and he’s helped me lighten the heck up and buy something frivolous that I really don’t need but really do want from time to time.

It’s a good match.

skywalk
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 05:22 pm: [report]

Maybe extreme opposites won’t work as bellereve mentioned but I do think that this article may be true.  My husband and I are totally opposite when it comes to money.  He spends all of his (we keep it separate except for our businesses) and I save not all but a good amount.  It’s kinda nice because he actually spends a lot of his money on me and I usually have money to cover our next venture, project or emergency.

Shasta
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 06:00 pm: [report]

Mmm.  I don’t know if I should rejoice or be depressed.

I’m terrible with money. Can’t explain it. Makes me nervous. I also hate banks.  I feel people who work there want to make you feel small. I always worry that boyfriends will hate me for it.

Friends have tried to convince me that while I am concerned with a man who is financial responsible to save me from myself, that trait is irrelevant to them.

Claireific
wrote on July 31 2009 @ 07:43 am: [report]

@ Shasta I feel you. My boyfriend is such a good saver and he does it without even really trying, whereas I have to stop myself from spending my every last dime. And I deeply hate my bank, too. The one before it as well. I’m sure it’s me, but it’s such a reflection of how I feel about money.

But it’s true, my guy is such an inspiration to me to become a fiscally responsible grown-up. I don’t want to hamper our future with my lousy credit score or impulsive needs to buy cute shoes over paying the bills, so I really do work hard, and he makes me better.

joyy
wrote on July 31 2009 @ 09:39 am: [report]

Supertrue.  My bf and I are each pretty responsible with our money, but that’s the only thing we have in common financially.  I have a good job with a steady income and I don’t take really big risks with my money.  He has an even better job that pays quite a bit more, but he consults so it’s not steady pay, even if its double, triple+ what I’m making - and then he takes big risks with his money. 

This has absolutely been a good thing though, as he’s taught me a lot about finances (that I didn’t really learn because they went counter to my parents’ uber-conservative financial tendencies), and I helped him rework his lifestyle to be more affordable when he bought a house and wanted to cut back a bit.  Also: we do not mix money.  We will loan each other money and help each other out when needed, but that’s it.  And it’s kind of a godsend.

@Shasta & Claireific - see if there’s a credit union you can join instead of a bank.  I’ve banked with two banks and two credit unions since I opened my own accounts as a teenager, and the CUs are WAY better than any of the banks.  CUs are non-profit, so I never got the distinct and obvious feeling that I was just a blank face to wring money out of the way I did with the banks.

I Go To 11
wrote on July 31 2009 @ 11:08 am: [report]

I see a valid point made with this. I’m definitely the spender in our relationship, and my fiance’s saving-savvy ways have actually helped me a lot. Likewise, I’ve shown him how to loosen up a bit with the pursestrings and not be quite so miserly. Now, my ex-husband was a horrible spender and would spend money on frivolous (and sometimes not-so-frivolous, like when he decided to buy a flat-screen TV after I told him not to) things, and we were CONSTANTLY broke. I at least had some sort of common sense, as in pay the phone bill before buying unnecessary clothing, whereas if he wanted something, he’d get it, bills be damned. It is SUCH a relief to be with someone fiscally responsible!

@joyy: I work for a credit union, so I appreciate seeing someone else suggest belonging to one vs. a bank. People don’t seem to realize the fundamental differences between CUs and banks, and it’s good to point out that there *are alternatives!

joyy
wrote on July 31 2009 @ 11:21 am: [report]

@I Go To 11 - indeed!  I actually couldn’t explain many more differences than the nonprofit vs for profit stuff, but I do know that my experiences with credit unions have been VASTLY better than with banks, so I try to spread the love : )

BlueVibe
wrote on July 31 2009 @ 02:16 pm: [report]

I’m a saver, though not an obsessive one.  I dated a guy in college who, though not really a spendthrift, simply had *no* money sense.

He’d start a story about how his dad or somebody was going to get an insanely good deal on blah, blah, blah, and, invariably, they ended up getting suckered.  How many times does it take before you learn??  Nobody sells a car at half its alleged Blue Book value unless there’s something seriously wrong with it that they aren’t telling you about!  Dude!

The poor guy was over the moon for me, and I really did care a lot about him, but the fact that he was so persistently and stubbornly foolish with money was terrifying.  It wasn’t the reason we broke up, but . . . I guess it was sort of a symptom of some other serious dysfunctions that *were* the reasons.

Lynn
wrote on August 1 2009 @ 12:46 pm: [report]

Hmmmm. BF and I have a lot of the same opinions on money - we have stuff we’re into, and stuff we want quality on, so we are willing to spend money where it counts for us. We like going out and see it as money well spent to spend a day hopping from coffee shops to farmers markets to movies to stores to restaurants to bars. But we also both put effort in to trying to find the best deals we can - we like spending money on food but will base our meals around sale or seasonal items, and like making big trips every once in a while to the discount liquor store to stock up, and waiting for most things to go on sale or buying online after price-checking.

BUT, I save a good portion of every paycheck. I cannot imagine a life without having that cushion. He saves his paycheck…but only so he can buy the expensive car things he wants (or puts a bit in his 401k). He’s doing fine now, but he couldn’t put a down payment on a house or go through a big medical emergency or afford to lose his job right now. I can’t imagine living without the security of a savings account. And sometimes I think, if we end up together for a long time, long enough to merge some finances, we’re going to have some fights were I want to save and he won’t see the point.

joycejohnson
wrote on August 3 2009 @ 08:18 pm: [report]

This is far from the truth for me. Men who are too frugal have not lasted long with me. I don’t mean being smart with your money, like comparing airline prices. But some guys go as far as trying to get it down to the penny. I would clip coupons myself. But not go the the flee market to haggle over 25 cents.

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