Feminist Gold Diggers: Why You Should Marry For Money
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
relationships
9:15AM, Thursday April 9th 2009
How’s this for a controversial book title? Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into The Romantic Dream—And How They’re Paying For It. The book, written by Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake—two professionally successful women—argues against marrying only for love and urges women to think about their beau’s pocketbook before walking down the aisle. In the new issue of Marie Claire, the magazine sits down with a brief Q&A with the authors, who back up their argument with some statistical support—women still don’t make as much as men in the workplace and bear more of the burden of child-rearing at the same time. “The juggling act required to be a successful woman, to be a good mom and to be a careerist, makes you want to say, Screw it, I should’ve married for money,” says Ford.
All this has got to make you wonder what Ford and Drake’s marital statuses are—Drake is happily married to someone she married for love, while Ford says, “I married the love of my life when I was 26 years old. Now I’m a single mom and he’s engaged to a girl 15 years younger than me… The bitterness is there.” And I don’t blame her. Unfortunately, as I can attest from almost marrying someone for love (who also happened to HAVE money), there’s no way to prevent or take the burn out of being left brokenhearted.
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CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 9 2009 @ 10:30 am: [report]
This book is moot anyway, everyone is poor now.
PinkRanger
wrote on April 9 2009 @ 11:50 am: [report]
I mean, before you take a step like marriage you should look at it from all angles, including the financial one. Money shouldn’t be the most important thing, but I plan on me and my future husband gaining some sort of financial stability before I marry, not necessarily riches, but just the comfort of knowing we’re not taking the plunge broke. unless my healthcare bills bury me…....my guy’s health insurance is looking mighty luxurious these days lol.
retro chic
wrote on April 9 2009 @ 11:53 am: [report]
Amelia, trade on your looks and smarts, and go for the cash, without sacrificing love, bebe. Worked for eons of men and animals with better and brighter survival prospects for winning the favor of women (who guarantee our species’ success long enough to have this old discussion). Marriage is a contract, not an “An Affair To Remember.”
Katrina
wrote on April 9 2009 @ 02:59 pm: [report]
Well, hell, if you’re just going to marry for money and capitulate to stereotypes, why not become a stripper and be an independent woman?
Neither is really that appealing.
SociallyAlexander
wrote on April 9 2009 @ 04:59 pm: [report]
I wouldn’t say that I married for money but I would say that I love my husbands insurance that he gets from work and having a large(er) paycheck than mine didn’t hurt either.
miriamele
wrote on April 9 2009 @ 08:12 pm: [report]
The Discovery Channel has done several specials on human sexuality. One of the episodes I caught talked about what men and women are into, and it made a point of mentioning the fact that often times women will marry a man who is less attractive and charming because he has money. Why is this? Well, from a biological stand point it would make sense that we would be into a guy who can support and take care of us, who can provide for a family. Biologically we’re just a bunch of baby machines anyway so what better than to be with someone who can provide for them?
Then again, we are human and we do think for ourselves and we do want love. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to reconcile our perhaps more “baser” instincts and what we want in our heart and intellect. I may love someone but if they’re going to flake out and not be able to help me survive and provide (especially in this economic climate) then I don’t want to be around them, because really, love doesn’t hold up if you can’t trust someone to have your back emotionally and financially.
I just want to end this by saying that I am by no means all about getting with someone for money with no feelings involved, I just think it’s a poor decision to not consider all aspects of a relationship before jumping in.
womenrule
wrote on April 10 2009 @ 02:57 pm: [report]
A Nightline episode a few weeks ago reported the contrary about women’s earning power. Statistics show that over 75% of the layoffs have been men since the economy crashed. Women are beginning to be more valuable to companies and are getting compensated for that. I feel sorry for Ford. It seems she married for money when she married Harrison Ford’s son but it sounds like he left her her bitter and angry long ago. I hope she does not have children of her own that could potentially read this book!
hahahaha
wrote on April 20 2009 @ 01:34 pm: [report]
Googled and found out both these ladies are divorced (one remarried). Sounds like two angry women looking for revenge. Bet they think they can get rich by writing a sensational book. I hope they don’t because I think they set womankind back a century with this silly book. Don’t buy it - BIG waste of money.
cattaluck
wrote on May 7 2009 @ 09:01 pm: [report]
RE Smart Girls Marry for Money, I have the following quesions:
(1) How much money? Not all women are going to be able marry at the highest level of wealth, so how does one calculate how much to settle for?
(2) How does one who is still young enough to reproduce get the wisdom to discern among guys who seem well-off and nice, but turn out years later to have mental issues (for example alcoholism, bipolar disorder) that may lead to the loss of the money and the ruin of the marriage?
(3) Shouldn’t one at least LIKE someone your going to marry, spend your time with, make decisions with, and most of all, raise children with? How much need one like him? And shouldn’t one look for a man that engages one’s interest sufficiently to prevent one’s being easly tempted into affairs?
If this new book has some reasonable answers to the above questions, I’m impressed. If it doesn’t, what good is it?
womenrule
wrote on May 7 2009 @ 09:06 pm: [report]
Smart women marry for character. Dumb women get fooled by money, fame and power.
theattack
wrote on May 7 2009 @ 09:54 pm: [report]
I haven’t read this book, but I wonder if it actually means to consider love as well, or just finances. I can’t see that many people would support marrying someone JUST for money, but it should be a consideration for practical reasons.
I like what miriamele said about biology. Some animals look for long tails or certain kinds of beaks or very large males for mates, because they are more likely to survive. Sort of the same thing here. Just making sure your potential babies survive.
Of course, humans are different animals because we rely on each other and civilization to survive, which complicates the situation. We’re also mostly monogamous, so you have a lot more to consider, and we have to be more picky about our mates than just one or two qualities. I think what all of that means is that you do have to consider finances, but you also have to consider your happiness.
doc
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 01:56 pm: [report]
well, now every time some chicky smiles at me i’ll be thinking all she sees are dollar signs.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 6 2009 @ 01:59 pm: [report]
@Doc: Every time you call them ‘chicky’ they wonder if that is your checkbook in your pocket or if you’re happy to see them.
Chef
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 06:11 am: [report]
This book is a perfect example of why I am beginning to dislike AMerican women who are marching around with this sence of entitlement. Women, which is it? Education and career, or wife and mother? I have absoutly nothing against non traditional roles, after all it is 2009.
This book outlines exactly what happened to my last relationship. I absoutly loved her to pieces, and even though its been nine months I still think about her and harbor incredable resentment. When I met this young colege grad she had been with the same man for two years and complained that the relationship had run its course. Shes wanted out for many reasons. She always said that he was a great guy, but not the guy for her. It happens, we all know that. Truth be told the chemestry between the two of us was incredable. But, I do not have a degree, or make as much as she does. She went back to Mr. Boaring and openly admitted to me that he is in a better position to take care of her. Worst part is, and I feel bad for the guy, she was still trying to sleep with me after they got back together. Looking back now, I should have…...........