Facebook Makes A Fuss About Breastfeeding

thegr8brownie
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 10:34 am: [report]

alright, i am going to take a stand here.
Breastfeeding is a perfectly normal thing, but it makes me uuncomfortable.  I would appreciate it if women did it discretely.

So i understand, but please do it in private, or at the least very modestly.

Belle
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 10:53 am: [report]

I completely agree, thegr8brownie. There’s a lot of perfectly natural, normal things that people do in their lives that make me uncomfortable. Childbirth is also natural, important, and one of the most beautiful events in a person’s life. Doesn’t mean I want to watch it. Same with sex.

There’s two points here, one of breastfeeding in public and the other of putting up photos online. I am not trying to take away a woman’s choice to breastfeed her child, I am a huge advocate of choice. Especially for something that many women feel is to the healthy benefit of their child. However, I also expect these women to realize that breastfeeding makes many, myself included, uncomfortable in public. I don’t have to be okay with it or approve of it or support it or celebrate it. I’d rather not have to watch it. I would prefer that a woman who chooses to breastfeed do so privately, but if they decide not to, they need to be prepared to make others uncomfortable and they can’t be so militant or defensive about that fact.

I have a more tolerance online though. Photos of a woman breastfeeding online are much less intimiate or personal than a woman breastfeeding right next to you at a baseball game. If someone can’t handle an image that tame on the internet, then perhaps they shouldn’t be on the internet.

And honestly, who understands Scientology?

Amelia
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 11:00 am: [report]

But why are you watching? I mean, let’s say you’re at a restaurant and there’s a woman at a nearby table breastfeeding—don’t look at her. I mean, you shouldn’t be staring at people anyway you know? I just don’t understand why people think they’re being forced to watch. And once you start policing stuff like this, it’s not long before other things are policed as well. Lots of things make people uncomfortable—but part of being an adult is, um, dealing with it. Like, seeing people chewing tobacco in public grosses me out. But it’s not my right to tell them what to do.

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 11:08 am: [report]

I have to say that I agree with brownie in that I know it’s natural but just because it is doesnt mean it should be done so publicly. There are a lot of natural things that humans do but I have to say that, in my opinion, is has a lot to do with who you ask. Of course if you ask the mother who is doing the feeding then they will say it is beautiful and natural and people should get over it..but all of us aren’t mothers and not all of us want to see that. Amelia, I have to disagree with you strongly on this one, I don’t see chewing tobacco and breast feeding in public as remotely the same. Mainly though, I think my whole point is that if I am out in a public restaurant I shouldn’t have to watch where I look if that makes me uncomfortable. What if there are several mothers around me, should I have to gaze directly into my food likes its the face of someone I haven’t seen in years? I’m just saying if there are other non-public options that can be taken in order to feed your child breast milk, I think they should be looked at instead of breastfeeding in public. I know I will catch a lot of criticism for my view on this but I feel comfortable with my stance.

Perceptible
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 11:14 am: [report]

People seriously need to get over this. It’s like the more we evolve, the more we de-volve. It’s only in recent history that a woman breastfeeding an infant would cause anyone to flinch, let alone comment. Society has done this to the masses. Besides, it’s not like women are taking off their tops to breastfeed, they may uncover one breast and then the baby’s head covers most of it anyway. I see women walking around all summer with less of them covered up, and not just at the beach! Please let’s everyone grow up about this. I agree with Amelia, seeing people chew tobacco (or smoke it for that matter) is way disgusting to me but it’s their right. So I don’t look. Problem solved.

Perceptible
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 11:16 am: [report]

And I have to add, men will stare at a woman’s breasts all day, given the opportunity. But add a baby’s head to that and suddenly it’s just too much to bear? C’mon. Sounds like some people have issues they might want to deal with.

Belle
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 12:42 pm: [report]

I think there’s a bit of a confusion here. No one is saying that a woman doesn’t have a right to breastfeed in public. Of course she does. I, however, have a right to feel uncomfortable because of it. I don’t have to be “okay” with everything that goes on around me. I don’t have to accept or approve of it. I can say that I am offended or uncomfortable with something. Trying to force all people to not only accept public breastfeeding, but shaming them because they so very unenlightened is hypocritical.

When a person makes a decision, there are consequences of that decision. As I said, a woman most certainly can breastfeed in public. However, if she does it, she needs to be aware of how she makes the people around her uncomfortable and the consequences her choice will have, like staring, comments, people moving away from her, etc. Where I live in New York, it’s also completely legal for a woman to be topless in public areas just like a man. If a woman chooses to be topless however, it will make people stare and probably voice their opinions. You can’t walk down the streets topless and expect everyone to be okay with it just because it’s natural and your legal right. And you certainly can’t be angry and blame other people for their feelings because they’re not comfortable with your choice. I like sex, doesn’t mean I want to watch my neighbors be like bunnies on their lawn. And if they do, then how can they be angry with me for being uncomfortable with having seen it, even though it’s a natural, beautiful act? That’s just how I feel, I am not going to feel badly or berrate myself for that.

I think that the problem I have with this debate is how women who choose to breastfeed make this such a militant, aggressive argument. As if I HAVE to agree with them or I am a crude, backwater conservative who should be ashamed of myself. Why do I have to be comfortable with it? Why can’t I express my discomfort? Why does the mother’s choice matter more than my choice? There’s a feeling of entitlement that’s very grating, completely disregarding a common empathy for the people around her.

I kind of feel like bodily functions are a private matter, whatever they might be. (And I can think of some much more mundane, common bodily functions that are considered rude to indulge while in public. In fact, I can’t think of ANY other bodily function that people are arguing should be accepted by everyone in public, even though they’re all natural and normal too.)

I am not going to try to force women not to breastfeed in public and I would expect a woman who is breastfeeding to likewise respect how those around her might feel. It’s not such a horrible thing to take other people’s feelings into consideration.

Lola
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 12:54 pm: [report]

I agree, breastfeeding, like child birth, is a natural thing. However, if you do plan on breastfeeding in public please cover it up. I just went to a college graduation and someone was breastfeeding but left her breast out in full view.
I also feel that it is more a private matter. You would post your pictures online of your breastfeeding but would you post a picture of your baby crowning?

thegr8brownie
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 01:24 pm: [report]

let me clerify my views please,
yes i think they should have a right to do it in public, i am not trying to take that away, but like Lola said, cover up.  Maybe i do have a problem with seing a babies head attatched to a boob, maybe its because a milky liquid is comming out of that boob, maybe its because they are never the kind of boobs i want to see.  The point is, it wierds me out a little, and i would appreciate more consideration to those who find it uncomfortable.

If you must do it in public, try to seperate yourself, or put your back to the crowd, or put a blanket over the whole thing so i cant even tell that there is a baby getting it’s grub on.
@Amelia, i dont try to see women breastfeding, and i dont look once i notice it, but it becomes the elephant in the room then doesnt it, the car accident on the side of the road, the two girls one cup, its hard not to look.
NOT THAT BREASTFEEDING IS COMPARABLE TO ANY OF THOSE THINGS
except in the fact they draw a lot of attention

thegr8brownie
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 01:30 pm: [report]

and for the record, there are smoking sections! To keep them away from people who don’t smoke and get uncomfortable by it.

and i don’t spit infront of ladies

and i go to the bathroom or out of sniff to pass gas

AJ
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 01:42 pm: [report]

I don’t think that Facebook should moderate breastfeeding photos for being obscene. They’re not. That being said…

...who the heck thinks we want to see them with a baby hanging off of their boobs? I know, I know. You made this miracle of life and he’s adorable and amazing. I’m sure you posted these pictures right after the sonogram photo and the one of your silhouette holding your belly. Do we have to be subjected to your naked mommy pictures too, just because you’re the only person ever to have a cute baby?

There’s an easy way to make sure you don’t have to see breastfeeding pictures in your newsfeed. Defriend!

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 03:32 pm: [report]

Agreed AJ, although on Facebook you can definitely avoid seeing such sights much more easily than you can in person. If your sitting in a restaraunt waiting area that has two booths opposite one another and a woman across from you is breastfeeding without any covering at all, out in plain view, I find that to be uncomfortable. If I am out in public, I dont want to have to stay at the floor if it makes me uncomfortable like I am a student waiting to be seen by the principal. Online is one thing, in public I am not against it as long as there is some sort of covering and its not somewhere were people are forced to wait or sit right next to you.

@perceptible
Not trying to pick a fight or anything but I think that over-gerenalization of men wanting to stare at breasts seems said a little bit out of frustration over the current subject. Not all men stare at breasts and I have a feeling if there was a clear outline of male genitalia that happened to be either eye level or partially exposed, SOME women may glance as well. Just saying, we arent all breast crazed men.

joyy
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:01 pm: [report]

I think I’ll vote for Facebook to mind its own business with this, but I’m all for the “just cause it’s ‘natural’ doesn’t mean you have the right to be obnoxious about it.”  I see many mothers breastfeed in public who cover themselves.  THAT, a private, beautiful moment that a mother shares with her child and not everyone around, is beautiful and natural to me. 

Besides, I always thought discretion in breastfeeding was one of the primary reasons for having a couch in the ladies’ room ?

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:15 pm: [report]

A couch in the ladies room? damnit I knew I was getting jipped for being male all these years. Well I am off to the wig store and then Sephora, catch you gals at the lounge =)

joyy
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:23 pm: [report]

Also, is facebook not loading for anyone else?  I haven’t been able to log on the past few days.

Glam
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:24 pm: [report]

The first time I saw my cousin’s milk-engorged breast with the veins popping out, I learned not to look at anyone breastfeeding. Sure they have the option to do it privately, but I also have the option to look elsewhere. Facebook should mind its business. It’s not like every member has access to everyone’s photos, so what’s the big deal if I stumble upon a photo of a friend breastfeeding? I was looking at their photos to learn something about them anyway, right?

moogyboobles
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 10:31 am: [report]

When I walk passed the magazine shelves are see far more tit on display than anyone has ever seen of mine when I’ve fed my children in public.  As far as I’m concerned if someone feels uncomfortable it’s their problem (and I actually pity them because it’s a joyful sight to me) and societies fault.  Why should a baby be made to wait for mum to find somewhere private (babies should be fed on cue, if they cry it’s got beyond when they should’ve fed and can be painful for them.  It can affect the latch if they are distressed, ultimately if women always hide to feed it could cause nursing to fail.  Upsetting the supply.  Breastfeeding works if baby is allowed to feed when they need and they have tummies the size of walnuts.  So it’s bloody often), you are the adult you deal with it.  The baby is just doing what they were born to do, and the mum is just being a mother!
I have 3 children and I don’t drive.  I would of had to have been a hermit for the 2 years it’s recommended you feed for, if I was unable to do it in public.  For a start you try getting more than one person in a nursing room, if you can find one that is.  Most of the time people don’t even realise you are doing it anyway. 
If it was in public more often then it would be seen (rightly so) as the normal way to feed babies and our society would be far healthier for it as formula increases the risk of obesity, cancer, heart disease and diabetes to name but a few.  All massive problems in western, bottlefeeding countries.
Mums have enough to do, to make a baby wait, to find somewhere private etc is stress and hassle (which also can slow let down), when for you to avert your eyes is hardly any effort.

Heather77
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 02:59 pm: [report]

Yes, breast feeding a natural part of life.  I also understand that babies shouldn’t have to wait to be fed.  However, there are alternatives to just whipping it out in public.  Put a blanket over it…use a breast pump and put it in a bottle.  Go to a public restroom. 

However, there are CHILDREN on Facebook.  Young teenage boys that do not need to see these things.  Yes, breast feeding is sometimes a necessity in public, it is NOT a necessity to have you breast feeding your child as your Facebook profile picture.

katnohat
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 05:31 pm: [report]

I do think most people are missing the point. Breastfeeding is about nourishing and feeding another human being. This is the sole purpose of the female breast.  Society has sexualized a food source, go figure. Having said that, grown humans don’t have to cover up or hide when dining in public, why should babies have to?

vanya
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 10:16 pm: [report]

“Young teenage boys that do not need to see these things. “

Frankly, I’d rather a teenage boy see a woman breastfeeding than the scads of free porn available at the click of a mouse. At least he’ll have a realistic understanding of one of the functions of female breasts.

I’ve nursed in public using the L’Oved Baby brand nursing poncho (which covers you from neck to waist) and you know what? Even fully covered, there are still uptight folks who will roll their eyes and ask you to do *that* somewhere else. On the flip side, there are the men who LOVE to watch, who just can’t stop staring, and that goes way beyond creepy, too. (My husband has had to intervene and ask the gawkers to stop staring a few times)

I sure wish that either of our children would’ve taken a bottle of expressed breast milk, but they resolutely refused bottles of any shape or kind until they started on sipper cups around 7 months.  We even tried the “if they’re hungry enough, they’ll relent and take the bottle.” which they didn’t, preferring to scream the entire time we were gone, instead.

I don’t know where the couches in the ladies’ rooms are that people have mentioned above.  I’ve only seen two.  One in the Nordstrom ladies’ room, and it was SMEARED WITH POOP from someone changing a diaper on it, and not cleaning up properly after themselves.  The other used to be in Marshall Field’s ladies’ room, but was removed promptly from our location when they became Macy’s.  Only 1 of the 5 major shopping malls in our metro area has a family bathroom - it is small and frequently occupied. 

When was the last time any one of us took our meal in a germ-infested public toilet, poop-smeared couch or not?

Look at the number of people who leave public toilets without washing their hands.  Why would we think any surface in there - from the door to the couch - is clean enough to use to nurse an infant who has no immune system yet?

Ironically, “Family” restaurants are the *worst* for nursing facilities.  Not even so much as a a chair in the washroom.  Who wants to sit on the toilet and try to feed a baby?  I’d rather go out to the car (and I have)

PS - a note to the men who like to trot around shirtless in the warm weather… put a shirt on! We don’t want to see your moobs, either.

persia
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 10:46 pm: [report]

I don’t like to see others’ breasts either. It is a touching moment between mother and child, but the general public doesn’t need to be educated in Breastfeeding 101.

Clever Visual
wrote on December 26 2008 @ 09:36 pm: [report]

i dont want to see that, and im glad facebook censors it.

f0xxx
wrote on December 26 2008 @ 10:31 pm: [report]

good.

i’m gay and i don’t want to see breasts.

i couldn’t care less about seeing nudity. i have porn on my computer and don’t care what rating a tv show or movie is given.

but, uh, maybe it’s not just nudity. maybe it’s the fact that it is private, just like we don’t pee in public. that’s a ‘natural’ thing… just like pooping. are we going to do that, too? how about having sex with your wife? i mean, while her nipple’s out, why not start after the baby’s through with it?

it’s not for everyone, folks. just realize that. saying that just because people should get over themselves is not a reason that i should see it…

if i was at a restaurant, i would have them ask the woman to cover up her over-sized breasts or i would leave and not finish eating.

on web sites, like facebook, you can’t just “un-see” an image that you just saw. using the claim that boobs are everywhere is hardly an argument in favor of who they’re trying to protect: the squeamish, the young, the gay.

and to the comment about “at least he’ll have an idea of what a breast does” ... ? “breast feeding”... gee you really have to SEE it to know what the hell action is involved. porn shows that same action minus milk.

and last time i checked, just because it’s a “food source” for babies doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for everyone. are you telling me that you could pull your breasts out at an elementary school and feel okay showing all those children that?

there are children in restaurants, too.

and young kids who use facebook. the lowest age is 14 (but i’m sure kids under that age log on anyway using an earlier birth year).

females are so whiny… at least the ones that read this blog.

moogyboobles
wrote on December 27 2008 @ 04:46 am: [report]

I think children should see it, then most of the negative comments above wouldn’t exist!  Children are brought up with babies and bottles, it has an impact on what they feel is normal.  In Nordic countries (no formula advertising at all) 98% of women breastfeed and physically they are no different to those of us in the UK and US with appallingly low rates (although the frankly obsence lack of maternity leave in the US doesn’t help).

As for pumping and putting in a bottle…not only will that risk the possibilty of nipple confusion (which can cause a baby to wean too early), you upset supply and yet again it’s more work for a mum.  Do you really think she has the time to pump (which takes way way longer to get the amount a milk a baby can so sufficiently nurse for himself), sterilize and all that faffing just so she can leave the house?  Where as looking the other way is no deal at all for you if it bothers you.

As I’ve said before most women don’t just whack out a breast for all to see.  I’ve do it discretely, in any place you can think of.  From school playground to watching Radiohead at a festival.  Even walking round the supermarket with a nice sling and nobody would know.  Although it’s more my post baby tummy than my breasts I’d rather not show!
  Never had a bad comment once.  Normally just nice old ladies complimenting me.
What is obscene, is the fact babies are still dying because they are not breastfed.  This attitude that breasts are simply for selling stuff and not providing the most amazing substance to our precious children is just quite absurd and not supporting a generation of women do their best by their children.
Just look at the lovely Maggie Gyllenhaal, she can get all out to see for selling Agent Provocateur, but dare she use her breasts for the most important job of all, nursing her baby, and she’s criticised.
Get over it and grow up!

tonic
wrote on December 28 2008 @ 12:00 pm: [report]

First of all, unless you have a baby that has breast fed, you will not understand.
Our daughter was breast fed for almost three years.
She is extremely healthy and one of the most intelligent children in her classes.
She is also extremely aware of what is going on around her, and was at birth and in the womb
(she grabbed the handle of the scissors, when my husband went to cut the umbilical cord and our doctor could not believe that, I also had an amino and when the needle was in the womb, she grabbed for it so many times a 5 minute procedure took 45 minutes, another thing our doctor could not believe)
These are benefits from a healthy mother’s diet and then when the baby is born, a healthy diet for the mother delivered via breast to the child.
Our society is backwards on this subject, no matter what anyone wants to think.
This is not to be compared to smoking, or urinating in public.
We took our daughter everywhere we went as an infant. Five star restaurants as well. I used a feeding cloth (the poncho, another woman referred to) I fed her as soon as she started rooting (not sure of the spelling on that)
She would NEVER take a bottle, even if it had breast milk in it, she too took a sippy cup at 7 months.
But let the baby start crying and people sure get upset at that, as well!
Even with the feed cloth, people were rude. It’s none of their business, as far as I am concerned.
However, I was almost 41 when I had my daughter and did not have a problem letting anyone know to back the hell off!
I can’t say I would put any pictures out on the web, but not because I am a prude, but because there are so many freaks out there.
You can never know how far one of them will go.
It’s natural and it is what the breast is made for, it’s too bad most women don’t breast fed, then all of those children that drank the formula (something made by man) that had the crap in it from China, would not have died.
Not to mention that it is a selfless act from the mother, very time consuming and if you want to go anywhere with the baby, forget it.
There is too much porn and sexual material out there confusing the matter. You can’t even watch TV commercials about candy with out sexualizing candy, seriously, give me a break.
so many commercials on TV about men who can’t get it up (male ed), it’s hard to watch TV with our daughter, and I am talking about TV land.
So, if everything else is OK in public, then this should be a non issue.
After my daughter stopped breast feeding, I heard in Vegas (Las Vegas, a breast on every billboard) gave a woman a ticket for breast feeeding in public, so hypocritical, it was pathetic.  I would have been at the breast feeding sit in that was staged, but she was older.
The post from moogy boobles was well stated, as well.
Babies can’t go from the breast to a bottle easily.
By the way I feel bad for the women who can’t get enough milk to feed.
If you are one of those, drink nothing but water and much more than 8 8ozs a day and find red raspberry (natures sunshine) has the best and take 6 to 9 capsules throughout the day and evening.
Grow up! and get over it!

katnohat
wrote on December 28 2008 @ 04:00 pm: [report]

Again, soo many miss the point. It’s FOOD!!! It in no way compares to pooping or having sex in public, as Foxxx so kindly put it! I would never feed my grown children in a dirty bathroom, why should I have to feed my infant in one. GET OVER YOURSELVES!!! There is NOTHING sexual in the act of breastfeeding!

f0xxx
wrote on December 28 2008 @ 04:08 pm: [report]

i couldn’t care less if it were sexual in nature. i just don’t want to see it. it’s a matter of public opinion, not indecency, even though some may mask their intentions by issuing tickets.

f0xxx
wrote on December 28 2008 @ 04:14 pm: [report]

tonic had a pretty good defense. it makes sense, but most laws don’t make sense anyway.

after reading her defense, i’m almost in favor of it. honestly, if it did make it a law that breastfeeding was ok and fb boobs were okay, too, I wouldn’t care. i wouldn’t support it, but i wouldn’t care. way to go tonic!

Lyra
wrote on January 3 2009 @ 07:50 am: [report]

seeing people eat meat makes ME uncomfortable. BURN THE MEAT EATING PHOTOS!
seeing people make out in public makes ME uncomfortable. BURN THE MAKE OUT PHOTOS!

seriously people, this is #&@$% up. BABIES GOTTA IT. if you can do it in public, they can, and honestly, there’s nothing on display you haven’t seen before - and even then, you can look away.