Ever Flirted With Your Boss To Get Ahead?

Posted by: Jessica Wakeman Filed in: guys
2:30PM, Tuesday November 17th 2009

Ever since David Letterman and ESPN’s Steve Phillips schtupped their underlings, all the glossy women’s magazines have scrambled for a good and juicy “I slept with my boss” story. Elle is the latest lady mag to cough up an inappropriate-relationship-with-the-boss confession‚ but what’s refreshingly candid about ex-investment banker Melanie Berliet’s story is the terms of the relationship. For better or for worse, Berliet was never in love with her boss and never claimed to be. Quite the contrary: she admitted she only answered his late-night calls and replied to his sexts because she wanted “a fat bonus check.”

As one of only 10 women in a male-dominated field, Berliet couldn’t help but attract the attention of everyone, including her boss, in the workplace, and she’s unapologetic about their mutual flirting. But, unfortunately for Berliet’s bank balance, when she wouldn’t have sex with her boss, she wounded his ego and he retaliated. He dissed her with a skimpy bonus, which she called “a serious slight on Wall Street.” After realizing “the image he had of me was one I’d allowed him to create: a sex object,” she quit her investment banking job to become a writer. [Elle]

Berliet’s story is obnoxious at times, though. The bonus she did receive—$65,000—is plenty of money to fall back on after she quit that job. Women who don’t make bank, but are in similar sex-in-the-workplace situations, can’t just up and leave. I get the message of her essay—she chose to flirt to advance her own agenda and doesn’t consider herself a victim—but, honestly, her financial situation kept her from making this situation much messier than it could have been. Most women aren’t that lucky.

Nevertheless, Berliet’s flirt-for-pay scheme gone awry has me wondering: Have you ever flirted/slept with the boss to get a raise/bonus/promotion? And did it “work”? Tell us in the comments section below!

comments

tigerstripe
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 03:59 pm: [report]

Ew never. No amount of money would get me to play sex object like she was doing.

BKsweetheart
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 04:06 pm: [report]

I have a male boss and work with mostly men. I wouldn’t say I’ve ever hardcore flirted with my current boss… maybe a little innocent flirting and utilizing my feminine charm to get in his good graces, that’s it. Nothing inappropriate or that has crossed the line of professionalism.

C.Munro
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 04:14 pm: [report]

Well, flirting is one thing. Berliet went far, far beyond flirting. She boned the guy for (more) money, and we all know what that is.

But back to flirting. It really depends on the relationship you have with your coworkers. Some people are just naturally flirty, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it as long as there are boundaries neither party crosses. Flirting can be a fun and friendly way to interact with people in a hopelessly boring environment.

Of course, when unwelcome it is merely harassment. I’m OK with a female employee engaging in some mild flirting, but there have been times when it felt more like harassment. And it strikes me that those who are flirting with the specific motive of getting ahead are more likely to harass than flirt. They don’t see the value of subtlety or humor because they’re just using a tool to get what they want. Someone who does that to me is more likely to get fired than anything else.

Jessica Wakeman
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 04:24 pm: [report]

@C.Munroe No, Berliet did not sleep with her boss — she only flirted with him. She arrived at a hotel he was staying at for a liaison, but realized that she didn’t want to have sex with him and left.

C.Munro
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 04:28 pm: [report]

she admitted she only answered his late-night calls and replied to his sexts because she wanted “a fat bonus check.”

Ah, I misread this to mean that she began a sexual relationship with him and then refused him once, not that she’d been flirting but eventually spurred him.

Still, I find her actions distasteful. I guess my take on it is flirting is OK as long as it’s not offending anyone and nobody takes it even a little bit seriously.

luke15chick
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 04:41 pm: [report]

the last boss i had that it could have been remotely possibly effective to do so, the guy was gay and the company didn’t have much money to give for bonuses anyway.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 09:33 pm: [report]

I’m gonna flip this around on you Frisky ladies…have you ever sucked-up-to/flirted-with/begged an editor to do a particular story, as this certain situation would apply to you most of all. Hmmm?

twinkles
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:24 am: [report]

This really helps women who want to be taken seriously in the workplace. It’s pathetic.

majicksand
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 11:57 am: [report]

I’ve had a couple of bosses who expected it. In one situation I had to threaten to go to the regional manager to get it to stop. As a single mom at the time, I couldn’t just quit.

bumbler
wrote on November 18 2009 @ 12:11 pm: [report]

We need a new word here, flirting seems to cover all the territory from laughing at everything he says to sending sexually explicit text messages.

As for the actual question, no I have not ever flirted with a boss. I sympathize with the men and women who have to work with this woman and her boss. I know I would be mad if I knew bonuses weren’t distributed based on work related performance but on answering the boss’ late night sexts.