University Seeks To Shut Down A Sex-Toy Study
Posted by: Olivia Allin
Filed in:
sex
4:00PM, Monday November 9th 2009
I went to the very liberal Sarah Lawrence College, where they often invited sex workers to campus to talk about sex toys, BDSM, even squirting. I was exposed to more nudity, dildos, vibrators, and threesomes than I’d care to mention. It was awesome. My brother and dad went to the more conservative Duke University, where they’ve recently been conducting a study on women and sex toys, inviting female students to sex toy parties (think: like an old-fashioned Tupperware party) where they can buy erotic toys, lingerie, and games. Before and after, the students fill out a survey about their thoughts about sex. But the Duke Catholic Center is pretty pissed about this research. Reverend Joe Vetter thinks that the study doesn’t promote relationships and wants to discuss this atrocious study at mass. [News & Observer]
While I know that Reverend Joe would undoubtedly argue against any sex before marriage, with yourself or with others, but I gotta disagree with the thrust of his argument. Sex toys promote sexual satisfaction, which logically leads to the desire for a sexual partner or relationship. If I hadn’t started experimenting with sex toys, I’d still be under the impression that orgasms are a myth and every relationship would have crashed and burned as I desperately searched for someone to push the magic button that I hadn’t found. Sex toys are healthy, can be shared in a relationship, and are helpful for a woman to reach orgasm when sex isn’t enough.
At the same time, once you find yourself in a relationship, staring at the ceiling and longing for the Hitachi Magic Wand in your bedside table at home, while your shiny new boyfriend prods away at your vagina like it’s a slug he found in the grass and he’s a 6-year-old boy with a stick ... sex toys don’t promote relationships, they promote swearing off boys altogether. After too many bad dates, it’s easy for a woman to give up for a while, since she’s probably better at reaching orgasm herself and maybe she can’t handle another first date and subsequent breakup.
But it’s not the sex toy’s fault that you’re not in a relationship or that you’d rather DIY. It’s probably just that you haven’t found a boy who turns you on and gets you simultaneously. Which is worth waiting for. I believe that sex toys promote sexually fulfilling relationships. Which the Catholic Church may not consider important, but you totally should!
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MuchoMacho
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 04:04 pm: [report]
catholicism’s job is to make us feel bad about the things that make us feel good. sorry for not being interested in what they have to say.
Timeguy55
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 04:12 pm: [report]
separation of church and state…. pure and simple
C.Munro
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 04:19 pm: [report]
It’s not a university’s place to promote relationships anyway. This priest needs to shut up and mind his own business.
MuchoMacho
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 04:24 pm: [report]
the duke catholic center can go ahead and tell its members not to buy dildos. pretty sure what the rest of the school does is none of the catholics business.
jambadreamer07
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 04:25 pm: [report]
@Timeguy55
This actually has nothing to do with separation of church and state since the article does not make it clear that the catholic priest is trying to use the government to stop the study. IMO, it is the unfortunate truth that even religious nuts still have free speech rights.
It actually seems to me that this situation should be viewed in the opposite direction. It seems that both the article and some of the commenters seem to think that the priest should not be able to address the issue within his own congregation. Separation of Church and state does not actually come from any law, but rather from a letter from Thomas Jefferson to a Reverend. The general consensus among scholars is that the first amendment, which only a) guarantees free exercise and b) restricts a government establishment of religion, was actually put in place to protect religion from the government, not the modern view that the government needed to be protected from religion.
Thus the priest is perfectly within his right to address this within his own congregation. I would say blame the media for fueling the fire, but then again, they have free press rights so that’s an entirely moot point.
majicksand
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 04:49 pm: [report]
The Catholic Church (or any other for that matter) has every right to frown on sex toys or anything else they find objectionable. By the same token, the rest of us have every right to ignore their protests and continue to enjoy the sensations provided by 7 inches of vibrating purple love.
draymond
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 06:49 pm: [report]
Frankly this guy is on the prudish side even among Catholic Priests. (And I have known enough Catholic Priests on a personal basis to make that statement)
Most sex toys are meant, or certainly usable, in relationships. Besides that the sales events also included ‘lingerie and games’. Certainly those are meant for more than solo use! And there is nothing that would indicate that only women who weren’t in relationships were allowed to the events.
I have never heard anyone say that they were using a sex toy in order to avoid having a relationship. Reduce frustration during a dry spell for sure, but not to avoid companionship entirely
What irritates me most about this is also one of the things that irritates me about the ‘abstinence only’ sex education crowd. They presume that any knowledge will immediately be used in an irresponsible manner! If you don’t teach high schoolers about birth control and safe sex, then when ARE they going to learn about them? If you can’t teach college students about the range of sexuality, where CAN they learn about it? In my experience well-provided knowledge always results in better life choices, not worse.
CondomElite
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 07:29 pm: [report]
I do not think about church as a life ruling center in anybody’s life. It is about how narrow minded some of the churches leaders are. They love attention and they are happy to stir a discussion.
Knitter79
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 07:33 pm: [report]
@draymond - that’s kind of the point. Catholics don’t do birth control or care about safe sex because you’re only supposed to have sex after you are married and then it should be for procreation. So kids don’t need to learn that stuff. I agree abstinence only programs totally don’t work, but the twisted logic is there.
Either way, the priest has every right to voice his opinion. And women have every right to use a sex toy if they want to. It sounds like it’s completely legit…they aren’t forcing the women to participate in the study or providing it as a class or anything like that.
christinax4
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 11:27 pm: [report]
this article made me want to go back to college
AnitaBath
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 11:59 pm: [report]
I go to Indiana University, home of the Kinsey Institute. We don’t really have problems like this (that I know of). Instead, we have people passing out free condoms on the way to class.
demetron
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 09:41 am: [report]
This reminds me of the one time I was sleeping over and I got into your bed and switched on your hitachi with my knee by accident.
draymond
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 12:30 pm: [report]
@Knitter79 you obvious have more knowledge about catholics in theory than in practice. Truth is we do pretty much everything the rest of you do, even if the Pope wouldn’t 100 percent approve. And even official teaching does not require that sex be engaged in only for procreation. In fact couples using natural family planning tend to be a rather freaky bunch since they have this block of time where they have to find some other way of satisfying themsleves. If a catholic couple wants to use a vibrating cock ring, strap-on, harness, oral sex, whatever that is fine. Of course the church says they should be married, but what religion is fine with premarital and extramarital sex?
Part of what bothers me though is that Duke is not a specifically religious institution, such as Notre Dame. That someone should expect that the school follow a specific religious doctrine is presumptuous.
MuchoMacho
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 01:27 pm: [report]
if you dont care what catholicism preaches arent you a hyprocrite for belonging to the catholic church? quit. or find a new one. one of my biggest problems with religion is that ppl usually just do it b/c its the thing to do, or b/c their parents raised them to go. do what you believe in, not whats expected of you. jesus calling you all sheep always struck me as pretty funny…
esmee
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 02:56 pm: [report]
Yay for SLC! Just thought I’d add that pointless comment, I get so excited by references to my alma mater…
angiesf
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 03:32 pm: [report]
Not a Catholic but love the research going on here
... I regularly attend a local dungeon and sex toys abound but very little traditional sex occurs. What I love most about kink and bdsm is how it opens people up to ways of being sexual and sensual which are highly fulfilling and engaging. It also encourages good, clear and respectful connection between people. Of course the Dominants in the dungeon fulfill a more traditional male role than most vanilla men nowadays… and I love that.
viva la toys!
jambadreamer07
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 03:51 pm: [report]
@draymond
I’m not sure what has been changed since Vatican II, but I know for a fact that traditional catholic teachings forbade any sexual contact other than missionary style, vaginal sex within marriage. Pretty sure masturbation and sodomy are still considered mortal sins.
Sounds like people are confusing Catholicism as a religion with Catholicism as a culture. I actually had a conversation about this with someone this weekend about how he considered himself agnostic, but still considered himself culturally Catholic. I think it’s wonderful that people who were raised Catholic don’t buy into every archaic thing the Church tries to guilt them into, however at the risk of sounding hypocritical, it might simplify your life to make this distinction.
SCRMOM
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 06:14 pm: [report]
Not only did I have my tubes tied at a Catholic hospital, but the priest that married my husband and I told us that he didn’t want to know if we were having pre-marital sex, but that he would like us to “try” to refrain from sex for two weeks before the wedding. And, most shocking of all - our current priest doesn’t tell us that tithing is a one-way ticket to heaven.
|Julie Jackson
wrote on November 17 2009 @ 06:42 am: [report]
Freedom of speech? Free America? Maybe not. Sex Toys are harmless.