Doin’ It With Dr. V: Period Sex
Posted by: Dr. V
Filed in:
sex
1:30PM, Friday July 24th 2009
This week, I got a letter from a lady who is wondering if she can let her date play Moses and part the Red Sea.
“I have recently been flirting with an old hookup and we have both been hinting at wanting to rekindle the affair. We live in different cities, and he is coming to visit this weekend and I have a suspicion that we’ll be having sex. Unfortunately, my period is due to come on Friday! How do I go about having sex during my period without getting everything messy and/or grossing both of us out? I read that you can have sex while wearing the Instead Cup, so I’m totally on that one and hope it works!”— Fantastic Timing
Isn’t this always the case?—The minute you’re about to get some, Aunt Flo tries to rain on your parade! But seriously, don’t let her get in your way of gettin’ some play, especially if you’ve been waiting this long.
First of all, I’ve never seen a man turn down sex. A dude would rather surf the crimson wave with you than boogie his own board solo. Sure, day one on the rag is the messiest, but sex is dirty and gross, no matter what time of the month it is. But a gal always wants to look her best! So, here’s how you can handle your hoo-ha so he doesn’t feel like a temporary tampon.
- Cuppin’ It Up: Yeah, the company says that their period-catching cups are sexy-time safe. It’s not that I doubt their claims, it’s just that I’ve heard too many ER stories with people getting things stuck up there. While the vagina can push out things, like children, and you would most likely survive unscathed, it seems like an unnecessary risk to put a piece of plastic in the way of his pumping penis. How deep is that thing gonna have to go?! So, I vote no on the cup. Even if it works, fishing it out is gonna be a bitch. But I’d love to hear an actual report, so if you do try it, check back in!
- Honesty Is The Best Policy: Let him know what he’s getting into. Go out, make romance, get started on the sexy, but before you hook up let him know. Don’t just make blood sausage without telling him. If he’s so freaked out by your vagina doin’ its thing, he’s probably a prissy-sissy lay anyways. And who wants that?!
- Shower Your Lady Flower: Don’t stain your sheets, take ‘em naked in the shower. This is my MO, girl. I hop in first, rinse off, get wet and invite him in. The water isn’t the only thing that can get hot! Of course, bathroom lighting can be the harshest, so spark up some candles, put on some jams, and get down and dirty in the place you get clean. No muss, no fuss! Plus it’ll feel like your doin’ it in a waterfall!
- Get Off: Just because you’re bleedin’ doesn’t mean you can’t get what you came for, pun intended. Your clit is even out of the way. Just like any other sexy time, make sure you get yours!
- Makin’ Babies: Unfortunately, you can totally get preggers during your period. Ugh, completely unfair, I know! But you should always use a condom to protect yourself from STDs anyway. So, use a glove when you’re making sweet love, no matter when.
Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too!
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
tigerstripe
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 01:01 pm: [report]
I’ve only had period sex once. My bf was very much a willing participant, but after we were done he was suddenly grossed out. He put a pillow over his face and refused to come out until I removed and threw away his condom that had two tiny drops of blood on it. But, definitely worth it.
bogart4017
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 01:05 pm: [report]
Be careful in the shower. Make sure the water is not steamy and have proper ventilation. The point of climax-when you don’t have proper vent-could casuse nausea and lightheadedness. You liable to slip and fall. Same reason you’re told not to make love in a sauna
bogart4017
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 01:10 pm: [report]
@tigerstripe—most guys i know have done it at least once (myself included)and none were squeamish about it. You just shower afterward like you usually do (i hope-wink). Some women are actually more animated because they are hornier than usual for whatever reason.
bellarose
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 01:12 pm: [report]
... just go to the bathroom right before (and right after the foreplay) wipe clean and quick… and get busy. I’ve done it many, many times with no problems.
JenM
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 01:16 pm: [report]
Two things: 1. If you’re on the pill, go ahead and borrow from next month’s to get you through the weekend. There—no more Aunt Flo to mess up your days off. 2. You can get pregnant during your period? I don’t think so.
writergirl
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 01:25 pm: [report]
@JenM—yes you can.
During your period, another egg is already maturing in the ovary for your NEXT period. If your hormones are off, for whatever reason, you can release that egg early (while still bleeding)and get pregnant. It’s highly unlikely, but can happen.
joyy
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 01:28 pm: [report]
Fishing an instead cup out is hardly “a bitch” - whoever writes these columns should do a little research before talking (or typing, in this case) out of her ass. I agree with the “no” vote though, since this is a re-kindling of an old flame type event and not a ‘hey bf I’ve been boinking for a while, I want to try out this new feminine product that seems like it might make period sex less messy - let me know what you think!’ type thing.
@JenM - there’s no safe day. also, if you’re on a tri-phasic hormone, you’ll probably still get some breakthrough bleeding by skipping the sugar pills and going straight to the next pack of pills, though it will be better than a full-on period (trust me, I’ve done it), not to mention doing so can screw up the prescription/insurance stuff since many plans only let you refill a Rx once a month, not every three weeks.
Queen Frostine
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 01:39 pm: [report]
I do it all the time and my husband never complains. I usually wash up thoroughly before hand and throw an old blanket on the bed so I don’t stain the sheets. A few tricks I use to keep things sexy:
1. Blindfold him, hop in the saddle and then give him a quick wipe down after.
2. Oral sex is a great alternative.
3. Riding on top with one of those flirty lacy lingerie skirts will keep the visuals to a minimum.
I Go To 11
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 02:00 pm: [report]
Towels are helpful if you’re worried about ruining the sheets, too.
ahw
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 02:01 pm: [report]
If you want to go for it in the bed, just have a towel you use only for this purpose. For me, it’s an old, faded beach towel. Put it down, go for it. :-D
sadie
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 02:40 pm: [report]
I’ve had sex while using Instead Cups. They work well and prevent a mess and neither I nor my partner could feel it. I have never found them tough to remove or insert. I think it’s highly unlikely you’ll lose the cup, I’ve never heard of that happening. Based on the shape of the cup and how you wear it, it doesn’t even seem possible. I wouldn’t really worry about that. That is like saying don’t use a diaphragm during sex because you’ll lose it up there. They are actually shaped pretty similarly.
ExGirlfriend
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 04:31 pm: [report]
Use the old prostitute trick… When the girls are on the rag they use sponges. Most use those make-up wedges. They stick a few up there and just go at it. It sucks to fish it out at the end, but to guys it just feels like a vagina. They’d never know the difference.
charliecat
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 05:25 pm: [report]
I was so excited about the prospect of using the cup, my SO is finally home from a 7 month deployment on “that week”, of course. But alas…the FAQ on the SoftCup website clearly states that women with IUD’s should not use it for fear of IUD dislodgement. I’d rather christen an old towel, or steam up the shower than risk a surprise pregnancy!
tootlesjane
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 06:12 pm: [report]
ive used the instead cups an love them. i cant feel them neither can my guy. it doesnt get pushed up farther than when its there without sex. i recommend them to everyone to try. it makes it such a breeze. and you dont hafta put one in right before sex or take it out right after, just wear it for the original purpose.
Kesseire
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 06:26 pm: [report]
Period sex can be great. I agree with everybody who said to just use an old towel or christen your shower. Women should make sure the guy knows in advance, though, that she might not be up for a rough ‘n tumble time; during my period, anything hitting my cervix makes me INCREDIBLY sore, and most of the women I’ve spoken with agree that can be a problem.
Also, if you’re at all susceptible to UTIs, you really need to make certain that you urinate afterward.
Jenn27549
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 09:49 pm: [report]
It would probably depend on your personal flow, but I’ve found that keeping a tampon in until right before the action begins (and by that I mean before ANY action begins but as long as you can wait) and getting to it quickly thereafter and staying on the bottom so there is a downward angle for you the whole time usually prevents any blood during sex.
Symian
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 09:50 pm: [report]
Grossed me out when the guy brought it up, I have a very long period with wretched cramps and for two weeks out of the month I don’t feel like being touched. Surprise, surprise, it was awesome. It got rid of my cramps for a few hours, now I’m a believer.
kmatter
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 10:13 pm: [report]
@Jenn27549: i’ve actually done that, and yes it does work
... not that my bf minds… the first time we did it i was like *uh… i’m on my period* and he’s just like *so?* and that was that… glad he’s not picky 
... in that sense >_>
wonderfultonight
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 11:55 pm: [report]
My guy could care less if I have my period. He says it has an entirely different feel to it. He is so gentle if it’s my first day since that’s the one that’s the worst for me. And this may sound crazy, but sex can be a great comfort on that day. Oh, yes.
I use the the tampon removal method plus an old towel to save the sheets and he still wears a condom because you CAN get pregnant, especially if you are on certain medications, such as antihistamines. They can throw off your ovulation times. One of my friends who has allergies in the spring had this happen to her. She is married, but they had not planned to start a family for a another year or so. So, it makes sense to not take the chance.
alphabete
wrote on July 25 2009 @ 04:44 pm: [report]
It’s really surprising to see so many ladies cheering for period sex. Most of my friends (that’s who I ask about this kind of thing) are staunchly against it. I admire you brave ladies but I don’t think I would be able to do it. Like my sister, I hate it when people touch me during my period, however I don’t think I would be able to enjoy period sex simply because I think menstruation is gross. Lots of times I’ve heard that it really helps with the cramps but am skeptical since a tampon is unpleasant enough. I am, however, totally down with giving oral as many times as necessary and am willing to purchase a fleshlight for use during those crampy days.
tishfish44
wrote on July 25 2009 @ 09:26 pm: [report]
Go for the In-Stead soft cups!!! I use them and have an IUD and haven’t had any problems yet.
Fast Eddie
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 08:11 am: [report]
As a man who had period sex quite a few times, I’m understanding of her feelings about it. For me it wasn’t a big deal. We just put a towel under her and didn’t do oral those times. I couldn’t tell any difference and the moment was enhanced by sharing something more then the usual.
onewriter
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 11:53 am: [report]
@Jenna Thanks for the angle idea. I’ve never heard of “instead cups” but I use my diaphram if I think we might and I’m still spotting. I would hate to get him messy. I think I mentioned it once and he didn’t seem to think it was a big deal, but I can’t do that to him.
@bogart we are hornier as you so well stated, because of all our hormones working to do our thing. There are several days a month that I could jump my partner at the drop of a hat and being on my period is one of them.
@alphabete You might try a different type of tampon. They don’t hurt-in fact generally you can’t feel them-unless you’re putting them in wrong or using the wrong grade for your flow. Just a thought.
alphabete
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 12:58 pm: [report]
@onewriter: I use the regular size, just for whatever reason over the years insertion has become painful. Once it’s in it’s fine but putting it in feels like I’m trying to get it on with the nosecone of a rocket.
onewriter
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 01:05 pm: [report]
@alphabete haha!! “nosecone of a rocket”!! ha ha!! damn. that is sooo accurate sometimes. try those weird plastic applicator ones. I don’t care for them much, but they do go in easier. Now, if they would just combine the “sucky-ness” of Tampax with the rounded tip of the O.B.(?) I think it is, then they’d have a deal. Instead they effed up the Tampax by putting little “finger holds” in the sides and it’s lost it’s rigidity. I’ve wasted at least 4 just because I can’t keep my grip now. Note to Tampax jerks: (all men I’m sure) Putting fingerholds on paper-thin applicators is NOT the same as nice stiff cardboard where you CAN get a grip and squeezing it too hard doesn’t make it not work. (sigh) wow. I didnt’ realize that was pissing me off so badly! Thanks alphabete
paul
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 01:15 am: [report]
If you are close enough to allow the fellow sex in the first place, why have any misgivings about the mess. My partner always placed a towel in the bed during that time to protect the bedding, regardless of sexual activity.
I agree with those that say that the lady can be hornier at that time (or maby it is just me)
HypnotiqNights
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 01:54 am: [report]
You shouldn’t be having sexual relations with someone that you don’t even know is clean! Different cities?! You do not need to take the risk of getting something you can’t get rid of! You know those three little letters… STD. Make out with him & get him all ready to go for the score. Then remind him that you & him are not together & you do not consider yourself what he might be thinking on the way back. A hoe.
retro chic
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 07:49 am: [report]
Has anyone tried the Cervical Cap? It’s barrier BC and looks like a mini, pouched diaphragm (or as my then SO called it: a medical version of a clown nose). It fits snugly over the cervix, so it takes some comfort and knowledge of your body getting it in there, and must be fitted by an OB/GYN (FemCap?), but worth it. It’s designed for BC (sim to diaphragm), but found it was great for period sex. Tho, I don’t feel like sex (too tender) until towards the end when my hormones spike, and I’m absolutely clawing the walls, begging. Orgasms then finish any trailing flow a day or two earlier.
ThatChick
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 05:27 pm: [report]
I think “that time” makes it better for some reason. I think it’s all the extra blood flow to the area. I’m all about the shower scene, though. Who likes to turn on the lights and it looks like you killed a chicken? Give him a heads-up, and ask him what HE wants to do. He’s probably done it before, and maybe he has a preference (or new ideas that we haven’t thought of here. men can surprise you sometimes!)
Annalisa579
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 06:46 pm: [report]
A Few things-
1)You most certainly can get pregnant any time of the month and on any form of birth control. That’s life. It is considered the safest time to have sex in terms of preventing pregnancy, but it’s not 100%.
2)The Instead cup is awesome. It’s perfect for period sex. Over the last 2 years, I’ve been with 3 different guys with whom I’ve used the cup. None of them said they can feel it.
(Btw, it kinda bothers me that someone writing this article would not be educated enough about female anatomy to realize that it would be impossible for something the diameter of a coke can to get so far up it would be hard to come out. The only way that could happen is if it went up in your cervix and that won’t happen cause your cervix is like a very pursed lip.)
3) Always be honest about being on your period. If you’re not and the tiniest bit of blood shows, think of how horrified, then embarrassed, then grossed out, then angry he’ll be.
jennymae414
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 07:33 pm: [report]
I’m on board with Annalisa. I love the Instead cup! It works like a charm every time!
kinkeh
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 07:43 pm: [report]
crime scene sex !
JehseaLynn
wrote on July 31 2009 @ 01:44 am: [report]
The one thing I dislike about my hysterectomy is that I DON’T get to have period sex anymore—sex when you’re on your period ROCKS!! It is one of your sexiest times, it is so much easier to come, and to reach multiple orgasms! I have never had a man turn it down, and I had three boyfriends who absolutely went WILD for it! One who even gave me oral sex during my period, the earlier I was in my period, the better he liked it! It helped that I was completely uninhibited about it, too, though. I always say, “Get it while you can,” just like Janis used to sing . . .
JehseaLynn
wrote on August 1 2009 @ 09:58 am: [report]
@alphabete, get on the bandwagon, girl! There’s a reason so many of us are raving about it! If you have bad cramps, here is the perfect solutiion, plus, you’ll be AMAZED to find out, once you start, how incredibly sensitive your clitoris is at this time of the month! You are REALLY missing out! Penetration will immediately ease your cramps, trust me. Just TRY it once, and see for yourself. You will find it much easier and faster to come, and also to come multiple times. As for the “mess”—it really is no big deal. You can do as one reader suggested and leave your tampon in place until right before, and keep one on the bedside table and insert immediately after your partner withdraws. That really brings it down to almost zero mess. In the shower, it IS zero mess. I have even elected to leave a tampon in place during the sex, which my man found VERY sexy, and there was NO mess then, either. You should at least give it a GO once!
onewriter
wrote on August 1 2009 @ 10:01 am: [report]
In place WHILE having sex? Maybe if you have the holland tunnel….
JehseaLynn
wrote on August 1 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]
@onewriter - quite insulting, but I’ll simply reply that, no, I’m quite a tight fit actually. The man actually ends up sort of bunching it around the cervix, so it acts much like a sponge would. A bit of a fishing expedition to get it out, but not much. Less expensive than a sponge, not uncomfortable, and a simple solution to a common problem.
onewriter
wrote on August 3 2009 @ 11:00 pm: [report]
hmmm…wasn’t meant as an insult as I’ve never EVER seen a tampon that was that pliable. I would think that would be rather uncomfortable as well, having it crammed in and pushed at repeatedly. I would rather just tell him I’m on the rag and let’s do it anyway, and as I’ve already mentioned that would be horrid to do and awkward to say, you can see how excited I would be to try it with one IN. Yuk…next topic.
JehseaLynn
wrote on August 3 2009 @ 11:31 pm: [report]
@onewriter . . . Hmmm, well, please don’t take this as an insult, either, but rather just a comment on how differently two women can experience the same thing. At the time, I was just very aroused, very wet, and very ready to experience some rockin’ sex, and I asked him if he wanted me to take it out and he said “No,” so I did not remove it, and we were both pleasantly surprised to find out that it not only was not in the way, but seemed to take care of a lot of the problems with messiness. That’s all I was trying to add to my first comment. I am a very uninhibited person sexually, in all situations, and period sex is no exception! And I think, much as women can sometimes feel that tampons are HUGE when we are wearing them, they really are not. Put one in a glass of water and see how small it is fully expanded, and that is without the constraints of the vaginal walls that it has when worn; after all, they are made to expand only to the size of a non-sexually active vagina. Now, are we done with this subject? OK!
Scarlet Drawl
wrote on August 10 2009 @ 01:57 pm: [report]
My lady business is not very accommodating, so I haven’t tried it with the instead cup. I feel like the cup is way too big not to be noticed when it’s in my body. Anyway, I don’t think my fiance cares, we just go for the towel method. He’s not freaked out by ‘horror movie’ sex as I like to call it
dahveed
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 09:27 pm: [report]
The shower idea is the best in my opinion, just don’t make the water too hot for the guy.
HDS1963
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 04:46 am: [report]
I am completely unsqueamish where this is concerned, put a towel down underneath the woman and go for it. My girlfriend and I love messy sex and she absolutely loves sex during her period.
MsMami
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 10:08 am: [report]
@ SCARLET DRAWL
Lol on the “horror movie sex”
And me and my boy friend are ok with having sex when its that time of the month. We are both adults. So to all you men who are disgusted with it…. GROW UP!
bettyboo
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 10:30 am: [report]
warning on the leaving tampon in idea.. we did that once (I normally remove it just before, but heat of the moment and all that.. ;0) ) and all was fine until i came to remove it and found the string had got pushed right up there with it.. :0/ Cue a post-coital fishing expedition for him, fortunately he managed to retrieve it ok and has a strong enough stomach not to be too grossed out by the bloody squished tampon.. one of those, you have to laugh, moments afterwards, but quite worrying for a few minutes.. :0?/
datingdad70
wrote on September 23 2009 @ 06:04 pm: [report]
The Instead Cup works GREAT. And that extra friction from the edge ring makes me want to cum in no time. Highly recommended during Aunt Flo’s visit.
duhh
wrote on October 24 2009 @ 02:24 am: [report]
most women are hornier during their period and you can have sex, just lay a dark towel down, pull out your tampon AFTER oral sex and bang away and it even helps cramps and subsides the flow for a few hours, why, I don’t know, maybe the testosterone?
I’ve never made a mess….......
a little spotting maybe….......
why would you want to do it in the shower, it would look like a murder movie shower scene…especially standing up having it fall out….....
and you can get pregnant during your period, I did.